Got a funny look from hubby today at the grocery store
SithChicky
Posts: 74
when I was looking for cucumber =/
He's a sicko!!
But anyone else find it best to not tell their immediate family they're trying to lose weight? I always feel like he, and my mom when she's over which is quite often, are always trying to get me to ruin my diet... It sounds dumb, but I seem to have better luck when I'm dieting in secret lol. My hubby is a good 100 lbs over weight as well, but he's lucky, very tall, and can't tell too much, so it doesn't bother him. I, on the other hand, am 5'2 and 225 lbs.
Anyone else diet in the dark or am I alone? Should I tell him? I know he won't want to diet with me, he's already dieting in a way for his blood pressure, but we were talking about getting a gym membership together when my sprained knee heals.
He's a sicko!!
But anyone else find it best to not tell their immediate family they're trying to lose weight? I always feel like he, and my mom when she's over which is quite often, are always trying to get me to ruin my diet... It sounds dumb, but I seem to have better luck when I'm dieting in secret lol. My hubby is a good 100 lbs over weight as well, but he's lucky, very tall, and can't tell too much, so it doesn't bother him. I, on the other hand, am 5'2 and 225 lbs.
Anyone else diet in the dark or am I alone? Should I tell him? I know he won't want to diet with me, he's already dieting in a way for his blood pressure, but we were talking about getting a gym membership together when my sprained knee heals.
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Replies
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My family know that I'm working on it and a few close friends. I'm thinking that a fair number of other people have figured it out with the weight I've lost so far. It can be tough. Especially being hypothyroid, I'm in the same boat. Just keep at it. You are worth it!0
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I am, for sure, not letting the hypothyroid define me anymore. I doubt many people would even notice when I start losing, my mom maybe, but I doubt hubby would lol. He gets upset at me for how I talk about myself being 'fat' but he doesn't realize how different it is for women than for men, for short people opposed to tall people. I've been self-conscious about my weight for as long as I can remember, and he didn't care about his weight until the doctor told him to lower his blood pressure. Just cutting most salt out for him, he's lost a good 20 lbs, it's been just over a month... and then I bust my butt for 3 months with diet and exercise every day and lose 3. That's what frustrates me, he doesn't understand how hard it is, no one really understands how hard it is being hypothyroid, how hard we have to work at it.0
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I would be able to ignore my mom, but the husband... That's not good. Something is wrong when you have an SO who cannot be supportive of you trying to improve your health. I'd have a serious talk with him, tell him I'm on this diet, and ask him to adjust his attitude. If he can't improve at least his attitude (at most his diet), well, that's a red flag. And yes, many people handle change poorly. But I don't see how you can be fully successful when your husband is not only unsupportive, but tries to ruin your diet.0
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You have to do it for you not anyone else. Trust me he'll notice and get on board. It just takes time. There is a group on here that can help you as well. Search hypothyroid . Weight loss or no, eating healthier and exercising will make you feel so much better!0
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My grandmother is constantly pushing her candy and stuff (which I never take just because I don't really eat candy. Just never have) and my family doesn't eat healthy and never has. It's really tough to try and change my diet and have to get a totally different set of food at the store from the rest of the family.0
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I think my husband is the only one that really knows (other than a few diet/exercise buddies). I'm not hiding it, but it hasn't come up.
If your family's behavior upsets you, perhaps you should talk with them, voice your concerns and ask for their help. Good luck... it is so much easier to change when you have support. Hugs.0 -
I tell everyone and anyone that I know.. it keeps me accountable because if they notice I am not losing they will say something about it.0
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I would be able to ignore my mom, but the husband... That's not good. Something is wrong when you have an SO who cannot be supportive of you trying to improve your health. I'd have a serious talk with him, tell him I'm on this diet, and ask him to adjust his attitude. If he can't improve at least his attitude (at most his diet), well, that's a red flag. And yes, many people handle change poorly. But I don't see how you can be fully successful when your husband is not only unsupportive, but tries to ruin your diet.
he's supportive of it, I get really nasty when I talk about how gross I am and bla bla bla. He just gets sick of hearing me be nasty to myself. He has been on his diet, I thought I mentioned that. He tries to ruin my diet by always wanting to order take out, or go out to eat and let's get this or that. He doesn't do it intentionally.0 -
i come from the eat everything on your plate there are starving people in africa kind of family so when they see me suddenly not go back for seconds or eat mostly salad then they start grilling,t he only way to get them off my back is to explain that i'm trying to eat healthy, then they usually let me be lol.0
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My grandmother is constantly pushing her candy and stuff (which I never take just because I don't really eat candy. Just never have) and my family doesn't eat healthy and never has. It's really tough to try and change my diet and have to get a totally different set of food at the store from the rest of the family.
yeah I hear that. I have two little kids, so they're all about the mac and cheese and pbj, and stuff like that, my older who's 3, keeps asking why I don't have sandwiches anymore lol, and why I have salad now cuz it's 'ucky' But can't really explain to her the whole 'fat' thing and whatnot,t she doesn't see that yet. if only all people were as innocent as children.. I'm not a candy person either though, or sweets for that matter.0 -
I tell no one .. and I like it that way
Otherwise it seems everyone around me is a critic watching what I put in my mouth!
If I want to have a slice of pizza one night dammit I will
keep your eyes to yourself lol0 -
I try to lead by example at my house. It's easy since it's just me and my daughter..she keeps me accountable and her being 12 yrs old..it's important for me to instill in her to lead a "Healthy" lifestyle. We don't use the word "diet".. If you let people know that you want a healthy lifestyle instead of a diet which most consider temporary..eventually they'll come around to not offering you bad food. Although it's been 4 yrs since I drank soda and my mom STILL offers me some every time I visit lol. Gotta love family huh?0
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I know what you mean. My fiance tells me sometimes that "Oh one piece of pizza won't kill you." My immediate reaction is to tell him "I know that, but if I splurge right now I'm gonna want to splurge again."
I still wanted him to know, though. Especially since I'm still in college and I only work during the school year, so he buys most of my food for me over summer. Can't really keep my diet from him when he's the one "bringing home the bread". Lol
But if you're more comfortable with dieting in secret then don't let anyone else know. If it helps you stay on track, do whatever you think is best.
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My husband knows, hes my support. I couldn't imagine trying to lose weight and not tell him. My mom and dad know too. My IL"s do not know, and I'm not telling them. I'm just going to show up 20lbs lighter next month at a family party. Way funner that way.0
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I tell no one .. and I like it that way
Otherwise it seems everyone around me is a critic watching what I put in my mouth!
If I want to have a slice of pizza one night dammit I will
keep your eyes to yourself lol
lol that too!!0 -
I know what you mean. My fiance tells me sometimes that "Oh one piece of pizza won't kill you." My immediate reaction is to tell him "I know that, but if I splurge right now I'm gonna want to splurge again."
I still wanted him to know, though. Especially since I'm still in college and I only work during the school year, so he buys most of my food for me over summer. Can't really keep my diet from him when he's the one "bringing home the bread". Lol
But if you're more comfortable with dieting in secret then don't let anyone else know. If it helps you stay on track, do whatever you think is best.
yeah, he doesn't get that even diet soda isn't good for you, and he does the, 'oh one day won't kill you' which is true, everyone has their off days, but if i have those fries, or that cake, i'm going to want to tomorrow, and again. Once I get on track, I don't want to get off track! It doesn't take much for that to happen for me because of how totally slow I lose weight.0 -
I wish no one but a few close friends knew. However my weight loss got noticed at work as well as my changed eating habits and now everyone knows.
Yesterday I had someone question whether or not my salad had too many calories as it had an egg, crab and shrimp in it... ugh! Excuse me but I know what I'm putting in my body and I needed the protein and still had a ton of extra calories at the end of the day.0 -
yeah I hear that. I have two little kids, so they're all about the mac and cheese and pbj, and stuff like that, my older who's 3, keeps asking why I don't have sandwiches anymore lol, and why I have salad now cuz it's 'ucky' But can't really explain to her the whole 'fat' thing and whatnot,t she doesn't see that yet. if only all people were as innocent as children.. I'm not a candy person either though, or sweets for that matter.
When my kids were little like that and I started changing my diet to more healthy types of foods, I included the kids in it. I didn't make separate meals for them, rather they ate what I ate. (As did my ex-husband, much to his chagrin.) The only differences I would make was to make them a sandwich with two pieces of whole wheat while mine only had one. Stuff like that. But I cut out the boxed foods all together for everyone, served salad at every meal (and having them help make it will make them want to eat it more), and refused to have juice boxes and the like in the house.
I wanted my kids to grow up with healthy eating habits, something I had to learn as an adult. Now, as teenagers, they're all a healthy weight, prefer whole foods over processed, and love fruits and veggies. Now is the time to teach the kiddos what you're having to learn the hard way. More work for Mom, I know (believe me, I know - four kids in five years), but worth it completely.0 -
I used to always try to diet in secret. I used to always fail too. Wasn't until I fully became committed and came out of the dieting closet that I was successful. To me, to diet was to admit something was wrong with me and I didn't want to do that. Now I understand that it's okay to admit things like this.0
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I've not brought it up, but for pretty much the opposite reason. My mom's been on me to lose weight for years, and when she finds out I know she'll be a bit too liberal with the advice. With over 100lbs to lose this is going to be a long process, and I don't want others nitpicking what I'm eating for over a year.0
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yeah I hear that. I have two little kids, so they're all about the mac and cheese and pbj, and stuff like that, my older who's 3, keeps asking why I don't have sandwiches anymore lol, and why I have salad now cuz it's 'ucky' But can't really explain to her the whole 'fat' thing and whatnot,t she doesn't see that yet. if only all people were as innocent as children.. I'm not a candy person either though, or sweets for that matter.
My 3 and 5 year old help me make food choices and they love it. However, I normally only give them 2 choices for each food group and they're normally healthy things. If they could eat exactly what they wanted all the time it would be cereal and pancakes all of the time.0 -
My ex always seem to search and destroy my diet attempts. My current husband has been supportive both before and now that I am dieting. As for the rest of the surrounding world I have been slow to let them in on that knowledge, but for different reasons. I have battled this journey for 30 plus years and have always failed in the past. I want to have people be able to tell I am losing this time and hear their observations.0
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I would be able to ignore my mom, but the husband... That's not good. Something is wrong when you have an SO who cannot be supportive of you trying to improve your health. I'd have a serious talk with him, tell him I'm on this diet, and ask him to adjust his attitude. If he can't improve at least his attitude (at most his diet), well, that's a red flag. And yes, many people handle change poorly. But I don't see how you can be fully successful when your husband is not only unsupportive, but tries to ruin your diet.
he's supportive of it, I get really nasty when I talk about how gross I am and bla bla bla. He just gets sick of hearing me be nasty to myself. He has been on his diet, I thought I mentioned that. He tries to ruin my diet by always wanting to order take out, or go out to eat and let's get this or that. He doesn't do it intentionally.
While I understand him not wanting to hear you put yourself down, you not wanting to tell him about your diet is definitely related to him trying to "ruin" your diet. I still say you should have a serious conversation with him about it. Perhaps you could work on being less negative towards yourself (which will also help you long-term) and he can work on being more supportive. Trust me (and others who've had similar experiences) when I say that it is going to be very hard on your diet or your relationship if he does not get on board.0 -
I've been lucky to live in a household where raw veggies are expected to be on the table, like it or not. The kid in the house hold frequently asks for dessert after dinner, the first thing her mom asks is if she has had any fresh fruits or veggies in the last few hours. Those don't have to be during meals, keeping them out as a snack food helps increase the intake of these fresh foods instead of packaged foods.
I would be most worried about not telling your husband about your diet. You need to be eating good foods and he can either be a great support or a great temptation. I would sit with him and let him know why you are dieting. If you have a tendency to be hard on yourself, don't be. Simply let him know that your body feels stronger and you can function better when your body has the correct nutrients.
One more piece of wisdom from my very strange household:
Experiment with your food and don't follow the recipe exactly, then you never have the same food twice. Eventually you will learn the combinations of foods and spices that best suit your family. Homemade can be much tastier than take if you get creative. This doesn't mean spending hours in the kitchen. Some of my favorite recipes take less than half an hour to make!0 -
I totally understand the not wanting to tell the spouse thing. My wife wants me to be healthy but she feels like my attmpets to eat healthier or exercise more or criticisms of how she eats and exercises. She assumes I'm judging her for having a burger when I have a salad or I'm calling her lazy if I get my 30 minute walk done before she goes and runs 10 miles. She's even bothered by me eating off smaller plates even though I will clean my plate in under 15 minutes while she takes over an hour to eat the same food on a larger plate. If she notices me measuring my food portions more closely she starts asking why I'm fixing less food (even though I'm not I'm just counting the calories more closely).
It can be frustrating.0 -
yeah I hear that. I have two little kids, so they're all about the mac and cheese and pbj, and stuff like that, my older who's 3, keeps asking why I don't have sandwiches anymore lol, and why I have salad now cuz it's 'ucky' But can't really explain to her the whole 'fat' thing and whatnot,t she doesn't see that yet. if only all people were as innocent as children.. I'm not a candy person either though, or sweets for that matter.
When my kids were little like that and I started changing my diet to more healthy types of foods, I included the kids in it. I didn't make separate meals for them, rather they ate what I ate. (As did my ex-husband, much to his chagrin.) The only differences I would make was to make them a sandwich with two pieces of whole wheat while mine only had one. Stuff like that. But I cut out the boxed foods all together for everyone, served salad at every meal (and having them help make it will make them want to eat it more), and refused to have juice boxes and the like in the house.
I wanted my kids to grow up with healthy eating habits, something I had to learn as an adult. Now, as teenagers, they're all a healthy weight, prefer whole foods over processed, and love fruits and veggies. Now is the time to teach the kiddos what you're having to learn the hard way. More work for Mom, I know (believe me, I know - four kids in five years), but worth it completely.
mine are 2 and 3, if you think they're eating salad, you're nuts lol they're too little, and they are healthy. they're actually on the smaller percentile for their weights. I'm not going to tell them no when it comes to food they eat. Kids are picky, I'd rather have them eat what they like. I'm having a hard time because of my own choices and my hypothyroid. I ate mac and cheese and pbj and as a child and I was fine. I still am healthy. I may be overweight, but I'm not unhealthy in any form.0 -
I used to always try to diet in secret. I used to always fail too. Wasn't until I fully became committed and came out of the dieting closet that I was successful. To me, to diet was to admit something was wrong with me and I didn't want to do that. Now I understand that it's okay to admit things like this.
I failed before because I got less motivated because of how long it takes to lose a pound. Where a 'normal' person might lose a lb maybe 2 a week, I lose 1 lb a month. It's very easy to get discouraged when this happens. Everyone is different, for some people, it will work when you're going alone irl.0 -
Only my husband knows. Other people are always like 'why are you doing that? You're so small. Oh one piece won't hurt you...' I am 5'4" and 143lbs so I don't look big, but they are not the ones staring at my cellulite every morning, LOL! My husband is very supportive too, he says I look nice, but knows this is important to me. He will even buy me stuff to make salad or healthy foods. And if I do splurge, he doesn't say anything (Our weakness is Duffs chocolate cake icecream!! 100 cals is ONLY 1/4 cup!! :-O )
But I also don't bombard him with 'how do I look, I'm so fat, I look horrible, I need to lose, etc, ect.'0 -
mine are 2 and 3, if you think they're eating salad, you're nuts lol they're too little, and they are healthy. they're actually on the smaller percentile for their weights. I'm not going to tell them no when it comes to food they eat. Kids are picky, I'd rather have them eat what they like. I'm having a hard time because of my own choices and my hypothyroid. I ate mac and cheese and pbj and as a child and I was fine. I still am healthy. I may be overweight, but I'm not unhealthy in any form.
I'm not saying that you're doing anything wrong or in anyway trying to imply that your kids will be hurt by eating mac and cheese. They won't. I was raised on it and didn't have a weight problem until my fourth kid was born and I got sick.
I'm only telling you what worked for me and my kids. And yes, my 2 and 3 year olds ate salads, loved fresh veggies, and never missed the other stuff. They also were never picky, because they were never taught to be. If it went on their plate, they had to try it. We pulled a lot of reverse psychology on them to get them to put it on their plate ("Sorry, honey. That's grown up stuff. I don't think you'd like it. Well, I guess, if you're sure you want to try it, but really, only grown ups like it.") but once there, it had to be at least tasted. They were munching on sushi, tzatziki, dolmathes, curry, and a variety of other foods before they went to kindergarten, and they loved it. I also did a lot of renaming to get them to eat things they wouldn't otherwise eat, like Pirate's Eyes (piece of bread with a circle cut out and an egg cracked into the circle), Monkey Toes (dolmathes), and American Mix (goulash). (Weird how just renaming things somehow makes them edible.)
I believe that healthy habits start young, so I taught my kids how to eat healthy foods in appropriate quantities. Sure, we occasionally had pancakes for dinner and ice cream for breakfast, but those were treat days and rare, and the kids understood why. I never counted their calories, but I did teach them serving sizes ("Want a second helping? Okay, sounds good.") and how to snack healthy.
And guess what happened? It made it a million times easier for me to eat healthy. No having to make two meals. No having to answer awkward questions about why I had to eat something different from them. No having unhealthy foods around to tempt me. It was win-win for everyone.0 -
Maybe he thought you wanted that cucumber for other reasons.
I'm sorry. Had to be said.0
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