My journey (with pics!) and why I don’t believe in “after”

This is me in 2007 (2nd from the right). I thought I was an after. I’d lost 35 lbs on Weight Watchers. I wore a size 4, and was 5’7”, 130 lbs.



This is me in May of 2011, at over 160 lbs. I’ll never be sure how heavy I got, because I refused to get on a scale. I was wearing a size 10. When I started tracking in January, after trying to work out and diet for a few months, my “starting weight” was 161.6.




This is me now, at 146.6 lbs.



This is me now, in the same shirt I was wearing in 2007. At 146.6 lbs, I have the same measurements I did at 130; although I thought I would never fit into my clothes from then again, I’ve made it back to a size 4 (just with more muscles!).

The past 6 months have been a crazy journey for me, from 1200 calories and too much cardio to 1500 calories, eating back exercise calories, and lifting weights 3-4 times a week. I’ve learned so much, I can’t even sum it all up. I’ve learned the importance of getting enough food, but the right foods. More protein, less simple carbs. I’ve learned how to do things sustainably, eating enough to never be hungry, never feeling deprived of the foods I love but not going overboard either. I’ve learned that weight lifting does not turn a girl into she-hulk, and it makes your feel awesome and powerful. That the number on the scale is a guideline, but not a goal, and that other measurements matter more (13 inches lost between bust, waist and hips!) But the most important thing I’ve learned is this: I will never be an after.

I don’t say this because I’m not happy with the results I’ve gotten. I’ll be honest, I’m thrilled. But that doesn’t mean I’m stopping. Because somewhere along the line, my goals shifted, and I realized, I don’t just want to be thin. I want to be fit. I want to be healthy. I don't just want small measurements, I want less body fat, stronger muscles, more energy. And that is something that I’m going to have to work on, every day, for the rest of my life.

I actually look forward to it.