Sometimes you just wanna Punch Someone in the Balls!!

kristalfrissy
kristalfrissy Posts: 158 Member
in Chit-Chat
A couple of men in my husband's family almost left my house tonight without all their parts!

My 9 yr old son had to be taken to the ER yesterday for a hypoglycemic seizure and partial paralysis. It was a total freak thing because sugars before and after were perfect. He is fine now but it was scary as hell because at first they thought he was having a stroke. He has been diabetic since he was 5 and not anybody in our family has learned how to take care of him or learn about the disease in general.

My father-in-law and brother-in-law wanted to stop by tonight to check on him. Fine. Thats nice--until they start getting on to him asking him if he ate something he wasn't supposed to have eaten to cause that seizure and that he needs to learn to read so he can read food labels to know what he should eat and what he shouldn't eat!!

WTF!! First of all--he can read but he does have a severe learning disability. But the main problem here is that LOW BLOOD SUGAR is because he didn't have enough sugar--NOT TOO MUCH!! a snack would have actually caused this NOT to happen. And this is our job as his parents--not his. He is freakin' 9!!

I was so irritated. of course I spoke up and told them that they had it all wrong but made sure and tell my son after they left that they didn't know what the hell they were talking about and that NOTHING he did caused his seizure. he said he knew but it still pisses me off. They have had almost 5 years to learn this stuff and they haven't even tried.

Makes me sad.
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Replies

  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,762 Member
    Even from reading your rather angry account of this encounter, it seems to me like they stopped by because they care about your son. It's unfortunate your frustration with their lack of understanding, perhaps acerbated by your concern for your son's health and safety, seems to have blinded you to their expressions of concern.

    In my experience, when it comes to dealing with issues like learning disabilities and/or health issues, the only folks outside of the parents who truly understand are either health care professionals OR parents facing the same challenges... so it's not surprising they don't "get" it.

    Finally, I have to ask... why do women who are angry assume it's okay to say things like "Sometimes you just wanna Punch Someone in the Balls" or "almost left my house without all their parts"? If a man made gender-specific threats of sexual injury or mutilation, he would be universally condemned... yet women get away with it all the time...
  • kristalfrissy
    kristalfrissy Posts: 158 Member
    It just happens that the 2 offenders in this situation had balls. Anybody accusing my 9 yr old son of having done something "naughty" to have caused himself to have a seizure and paralysis--would have had their "parts" threatened.

    And I can promise you that when I have grand children and if they have a major medical condition--I will learn about it so I can take care of that child so I can spend time with him/her. You might have thought that out--the fact that he has had this for 5 years and they don;t know the very basics. That doesn't sound very concered. The 10 minutes thet stopped by the house to "check on him" consisted of 5 minutes of accusing him of things and the other 5 minutes talking about their golf game.

    So whatever.I have no problem with men. I have a problem with dumbasses.
  • TxAlpha
    TxAlpha Posts: 173 Member
    Right....because kids never do things they're not supposed too......
  • Mom2rh
    Mom2rh Posts: 612 Member
    I am so sorry your son had such a severe low blood sugar. That is terrifying. My older son was diagnosed at 11 with type 1 diabetes and I know what a difficult disease it is to live with.

    I remember shortly after he was diagnosed, a cousin of my ex told us that it was our collective karma that caused him to be diagnosed. Really?! WTF?! I get it...people say stupid stuff. And you are right, they could learn more about it. But they probably won't. It's frustrating.

    I used to go to a website for parents of kids with diabetes. You might get more support for this type of stuff there. Message me if you are interested in the address.
  • Mom2rh
    Mom2rh Posts: 612 Member
    Right....because kids never do things they're not supposed too......

    It's like someone blaming a kid for having cancer. You would never think to do that. Yet...
  • MadiRose2
    MadiRose2 Posts: 145
    That's exactly how my family is with my bi-polar disorder. They think I am "troubled" and "with the wrong crowd" which caused it. They haven't even thought about educating themselves, and figuring out that no, I was a damn good kid, and still am, that I have a mental issue.

    I feel for your son. I am so sorry that that happened. Maybe eventually they will educate themselves, but until then, the only thing you can do is let your son know that whatever they say isn't true, and call them out on it sometimes.

    Best of wishes!
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,762 Member
    It just happens that the 2 offenders in this situation had balls. Anybody accusing my 9 yr old son of having done something "naughty" to have caused himself to have a seizure and paralysis--would have had their "parts" threatened.

    And I can promise you that when I have grand children and if they have a major medical condition--I will learn about it so I can take care of that child so I can spend time with him/her. You might have thought that out--the fact that he has had this for 5 years and they don;t know the very basics. That doesn't sound very concered. The 10 minutes thet stopped by the house to "check on him" consisted of 5 minutes of accusing him of things and the other 5 minutes talking about their golf game.

    So whatever.I have no problem with men. I have a problem with dumbasses.
    It sounds to me like there is much more to this story but I don't want to probe.

    I hope your son is doing better. Take care and good luck with the dumbasses.

    Peace-out!
  • swest222
    swest222 Posts: 455 Member
    And I can promise you that when I have grand children and if they have a major medical condition--I will learn about it so I can take care of that child so I can spend time with him/her. You might have thought that out--the fact that he has had this for 5 years and they don;t know the very basics. That doesn't sound very concered. The 10 minutes thet stopped by the house to "check on him" consisted of 5 minutes of accusing him of things and the other 5 minutes talking about their golf game.

    I agree with this completely. And what gives them the right to make an innocent boy feel like he did something WRONG?
    I think as parents or family members it is our job to educate and learn all we can so we can TEACH our children about the medical condition he has and how to manage. Not place blame.

    I think it was a horrible thing for your FIL and BIL to do .. and I 100% agree they've had sufficient amount of time to learn about the actual medical condition at hand ...

    If they arent actually HELPING then they need to keep to themselves ... you were completely in the right to say something to them ...
  • TxAlpha
    TxAlpha Posts: 173 Member
    It was just concern........nothing more nothing less.....I sense an underlying situation between the relatives......no so much the emergency that took place.......but I digress......
  • Maurice1966
    Maurice1966 Posts: 419 Member
    good to get it off your chest but mostly, I'm just glad your son's fine.
  • brandimacleod
    brandimacleod Posts: 368 Member
    They are dumbasses...I did NOT read your post and think you were man bashing at all. Dumbass in-laws are totally bashable, regardless of sex (not to be confused with the good in-laws). But...knowing they ARE dumbasses...I would recommend you never leave your child in their care. They can't be trusted to do the right thing to protect him from a complication of a horrible disease. Unless there is an educated (ie trustworthy) adult there as well.
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    I don't see why dismembering man parts is necessary. Sounds to me like its just a case of a mom being very sensitive and protective(rightfully so) after the scare he had yesterday. That would have any mom on edge for a while. I think mixing mom who's already very stressed with people who just aren't educated on the disease was a bad combo. The men meant well. They care and wanted to come by and see that everything is ok. They are less educated than you on the subject, but they were trying to help and it was all said with love, not anger. I think its sweet that they came over and tried. I think no matter what they said or did, even if it was perfect, you would have been ready to attack. That was a scary thing to go through and will take a while for your parent nerves to calm back down.
  • duhblond
    duhblond Posts: 138 Member
    I'm so sorry that happened to your son.
    I'm thankful he is ok.
    I know how frustrating that is when people do not make even the slightest effort to understand a child that has some additional needs.
    Best of luck to you and him both.
  • kristalfrissy
    kristalfrissy Posts: 158 Member
    No underlying situations other than the fact that we have tried to educate them about this for 5 years and this is how far we have come---absolutely no where. if they are just honeslty confused--thats understandable but that is not the case here. Just apathy.

    Oh well-my son has my husband and I to take care of him. We don't rely on anyone to take care of him. It would be nice to go to dinner once in awhile alone--but thats ok.

    My husbands mother--she is different. she can't actually take care of him cause she lives a couple of hours away--but she does research to understand what he's dealing with and that effort alone means alot to my husband and myself and will mean something to jaden as he gets older.

    Thanks for your messages--unless you were mean to me--just kidding. I understand that you could have no understanding of what its like to give your baby boy 4-6 shots every single day of his life and have other family members not even be able to tell you WHY 5 years later.
  • kristalfrissy
    kristalfrissy Posts: 158 Member
    oh and by the way--I didn't attack them at all. I'm not one to do that even if I want to. I just explained that a snack eaten in this situation would have actually been good not bad. They had 0 percent knowledge that I was irriatated when they left. My husband and I just dicussed it when they left. and I have been irriated since.

    and believe me--i have no desire to touch my father in laws balls. even to remove them
  • stageon
    stageon Posts: 11
    Sounds like some ball-punching may have been in order in this case! I'm a man (obviously) and I'm not offended by your subject line... any men that are, are being oversensitive and hearing this all out of context IMO.

    Like many have said, the main thing is that your son is ok now. The larger issue is that they do really sound like *kitten* for having a family member with a potentially life-threatening condition through no fault of his own, and they don't make any effort to learn about it, even for his sake, and hopefully one would think for their own too, just to be better and more informed people (they don't sound like the type to care about self-education, though).

    And since they were men, punching them in the balls is an appropriate metaphor to express your anger. Besides, you even said "sometimes you just wanna" ...it's not like you DID! Lol at all the dudes who get their panties in a twist over this. A little over-sensitive, guys? It's not as if women don't have to hear sexist comments – yes, even in 2012 – all the time. Lighten up a little.

    Kristal, your anger is perfectly understandable, and your frustration at these people (regardless of their gender, of course), is as well. I wish you and your son luck in the future, and to find more enlightened friends to surround yourself with. Unfortunately you can't pick your relatives =P
  • stageon
    stageon Posts: 11
    and believe me--i have no desire to touch my father in laws balls. even to remove them

    LOL!!!!
  • kristalfrissy
    kristalfrissy Posts: 158 Member
    @ stageon....:flowerforyou: mwuah...or however you spell that! Thank you. I felt exactly like that.
  • KiltFuPanda
    KiltFuPanda Posts: 574 Member
    Reading that wasn't really good for me first thing in the morning - now I *do* wanna punch something. I have several family members with varying conditions (MD, cerebral palsy, etc), and took the time to actually figure out what each one means, and what to expect.

    There was someone in the past who said something so unthinkable about one of them that if I had heard it first hand, I would have had trouble keeping from feeding them their own teeth.

    So I know exactly where you're coming from.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    I totally feel you, but be glad they care so much.
    Good Luck :flowerforyou:
  • FrugalMomsRock75
    FrugalMomsRock75 Posts: 698 Member
    I only want to say that in fact, it could have been a "snack" that caused it (if his body makes any insulin at all, or if his body hyper-reacts to it). I get hypoglycemic, and sometimes it's because I've had TOO MUCH sugar. I am hypersensitive to my own insulin, so I peak and then PLUMMET. It just happened to me last Saturday-I ate three marshmallows and a fun pack of skittles, and about an hour later, I was shaky and weak. Tested my sugar, and I was plummeting. It was down to 72 and about ten minutes later, it was 66. I drank a protein shake with fruit in it, and I started to balance out soon, but it feels horrible when it plummets.

    It's unfortunate that it happened to your son to a degree that he ended up in the hospital, but it doesn't sound like your FIL/BIL were being totally unreasonable either (except that they haven't taken any time with him, in general). You have to teach someone (child or adult alike) with diabetes that they need to read labels and be careful what they eat; someone with hypoglycemic tendencies needs to do the same. :)

    Glad he's okay!
  • kristalfrissy
    kristalfrissy Posts: 158 Member
    My husband also has hypoglycemic episodes so I understand where you are coming from.and of course alot of people with type 2 still make insulin But my son has Type 1 and he makes no insulin at all. he did in his "honeymoon" phase right after diagnoses--but he is 3 months shy of being into this 5 years now so he doesn't make any now. so a snack in his case would have prevented this.

    And of course as he gets older he will learn more and more about taking care of himself--but he is only 9 with Aspergers Syndrome and ADHD on top so we take it one day at a time. He knows way way more than most of our family tho.

    Good luck with your situation tho.
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
    "Sometimes you just wanna Punch Someone in the Balls!!"

    Yeah! I know what you mean! Sometimes I just wanna kick someone in the ovaries!
  • kristalfrissy
    kristalfrissy Posts: 158 Member
    "Sometimes you just wanna Punch Someone in the Balls!!"

    Yeah! I know what you mean! Sometimes I just wanna kick someone in the ovaries!

    That might be kinda hard...but go for it. And by the way...hearing that doesn't make me say omg! I think its kinda funny but i.guess not everybody feels that way. Might me more effective to punch someone in the.boob.
  • kristalfrissy
    kristalfrissy Posts: 158 Member
    Looks like I forgot to mention this happened at 7 in the morning when he was still asleep so no snacking going on...unfortunately
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
    The least educated are always the ones who think they know the most... I am glad your son is ok...
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
    ignorance is bliss. I have the same thing with my wife's family, sometimes just better to ignore them.
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
    I feel ya.

    My youngest has a speech delay, and his paternal grandfather scoffs at the idea that he has a speech therapist and says "he don't need that, he'll talk when he's ready" as if this pot-smokin &$)@#$*$ knows jack about any of my kids because he never bothers to spend time with them, at all. He only knows what my ex chooses to tell him, which isn't much. It's frustrating, but I have the fortune of not having to interact with these people at all.
  • stablesong
    stablesong Posts: 224
    Right....because kids never do things they're not supposed too......
    Did you miss the part where she said that her son having a snack would have prevented it??

    I'm sorry this happened to you and your family! Hopefully your relatives will take this scary experience as an opportunity to educate themselves about your son's health problems and disability. I hope he gets/stays well!
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
    First I'm glad your son is ok. Second I feel you. My family tends to start talking about stuff they know NOTHING about as if they were an authority on the subject. It makes me so mad. And seriously while it would be great if your son could handle checking food labels and what not I don't think is reasonable or wise to expect a 9 year old to be that responsible for their diet! Its great that they care but sometimes you just wanna smack people and say "think THEN open mouth and say words"

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