Why do you binge and how do you talk yourself out of it?

I'll start this off by saying when I first started MFP a little over 1 week ago I was 220 overweight. While I am just starting on the weight loss part of my new life, I have spent 5 years working my way through binge eating disorder, some of the time with doctors and therapists, most of the time working on my own spirituality and letting go of all the contributors that made me want to eat. I have always lost a lot of weight successfully, but have also found that I can't keep it off because I had not yet addressed the issues behind my binging.

For the first three years after being diagnosed, i struggled. Yes, I was healing while struggling, but I felt as though I was flailing around and had absolutely no hope of losing the weight. I was put on anti-depressants by one doctor, while the other doctor wanted me to deal with everything naturally. Years after starting seeing specialists, I contacted one of them, feeling quite desperate and wanting to get the lap band. He took the time to tell me all the ways people trick it; with fries, ice cream, soft foods. In those moments I really knew that my weight wasn't my problem, it was everything else in my life I was unhappy about. I didn't have an epiphany, I have had hundreds of "this is it" moments where I feel like, this is truly the moment where i will start to lose weight. I realize now that it's not about losing the weight, it's about getting good with myself. For the first time in my life, I see that I am losing weight, but more than that, I feel like I am healing.

For the first time in my life, I can say that I am in a good place with food and I am healing. Sure, I might relapse. Sure, I might let food "win" in a moment of weakness, fatigue, whatever, but at the core of my being, I am getting better and hoping that some of what I have learned can help everyone else out there who is struggling with binging.


What makes me want to binge:
-being tired
-boredom
-emotional - sad, cranky, pissy, you name it
-TOM
-ate something I "shouldn't" have
-gaining weight or maintaining
-not losing "enough" weight

Triggers
-One of my triggers is definitely being around my parents. They both struggle with eating and binging, so joining in with them is "normal," while abstaining from over eating or eating the "right" foods is judged.

Can you talk yourself out of it?
-I'm getting better at it. I have had a lot of success talking myself out of it, especially in the last 6 months, thanks to a lot of therapy and finding peace in my own life. a 27 yr old habit is hard to break, but I'm making new healthy habits.

What crazy advice have you been given?
When I was young, my Mom would put us on crazy diets and cleanses and expect us to sustain. Sure the cabbage soup diet might be a great cleanse, but it is no way to sustain or lead a realistic and healthy life.

My Dad would also tell me when I was young, that I could eat as much popcorn and salsa as I wanted and never gain weight. He would say that they had negative calories and that they were the best way to lose weight. I was also encouraged to do fad diets that did nothing but mess up my metabolism and often keep me in starvation mode.

I had a nutritionist tell me to eat all the fatty foods I wanted and to completely cut out carbs (much like atkins, but more extreme); I could never commit to eating chunks of butter because it simply seemed to unhealthy and I couldnt wrap my head around how that might be "ok."


Advice that has actually worked and some things that I have figured out on my own

-Be gentle with yourself and talk to yourself lovingly instead of inner chatter that puts you down and makes you feel like crap. If you talk yourself down, of course you're going to binge. If you start talking yourself up, even if it feels fake in the beginning, you will start to feel better.

-Eat enough calories. Starvation doesn't work! The same way cabbage soup diets don't work over a long period of time, neither does starvation. One morning you will wake up after starving yourself and want to eat your entire kitchen and the kitchen cupboards...and you probably will (maybe not the cupboards.) If you have a huge calorie deficit, find something healthy to eat.

-I work to stay present while I am eating, thinking about the food I am eating and talking myself through it (do i like this, what do like about it, how does it taste, is this something I really wanted, am I eating because i am hungry or because I am emotional)

-log food - I have done A LOT of unconscious eating in my life, so logging keeps me present and mindful of how many calories I am consuming. Some people can "just eat" and be ok, this has never been me. I have to count.
(Also, if I am eating a new food or a food that has a certain # of calories I am not familiar with, I log it first so I don't get any nasty calorie surprises. Sometimes I decide not to eat it after logging it)

-measure everything- our brain plays tricks on us, especially if it is craving something.

-keep foods in the house that need to be prepared, versus snack foods that I can eat immediately. If there are snack foods, they are fruits and veggies. (Needing to take the time to prepare my foods helps me to make healthy choices and if I do feel like I am going to binge, needing to wait brings me down from an emotional high to a place where I can make better decisions.

-once a meal/snack is prepared, sit with it for a couple of minutes before eating. This sounds silly, but I show myself that I can eat without diving in; that I can do it in a controlled manner. This is a big achievement for me, since in the past I would dive in and devour.

-eat slowly

-drinking the right about of water to ensure I stay hydrated, as thirst is often mistaken for hunger

-drink water before each meal to fill your tummy and deter you from over eating

-avoid places I know will be a problem (buffets, dessert bars, bars (who can't eat a platter of nachos when they're drinking?)))

-plan your eating in the morning. I don't plan everything that I will eat right in the am, but I will plan for either going out to eat (and alot more calories to that meal) versus staying at home to eat, where I know exactly what is going into my food.

-This is a tough one if I have overeaten, but I congratulate myself for the great things I have done that day and if did binge, I force myself to think about why I did it and what contributed to it. What foods did I eat and did I feel satisfied? How do I feel now?

-Do something spiritual. No, I'm not saying go to church and pray, but get in touch with your inner self. Meditation groups or on your own, self reflection, explore the stuff that really bugs you or has bothered you in the past and see what comes up. It's difficult to tear the scab off old wounds and to expose them, but the best way for me to keep myself from eating the emotions I was keeping inside me was to let them out.

Thank you all so much for sharing!!

Wow you guys have posted some incredible stuff! I think that together we can all help and encourage each other! If anyone wants to be friends, please add me! I'm really excited to be here working on my weight loss and sharing motivation Wishing you all a great day. One that I forgot to add is -If i binge, I try to remind myself as soon as stop eating, I'm still OK! I'm still doign a great job and I don't have to wait for tomorrow. As soon as I stop eating, I'm alright and on the right track again. It's hard because I know how crappy I have felt after a binge, but I push myself to remind myself that I'm doing a great job, even when I sometimes feel like I'm not.

Have a great afternoon everyone!!