I feel so ashamed and depressed. Why do I do this to myself?

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Utterly_Butterly
Utterly_Butterly Posts: 18 Member
in Motivation and Support
Why can't I stop eating??

I woke up and ate chocolate brownies and millionaires shortbread just because it was there.

I went to MIL and ate a Sunday lunch that would feed 3 people and I ate enough crumble to feed probably 4 people.

I am sat here in pain from being so full and it has made me feel so so ashamed. I know I am doing it and I know how bad it will make me feel but I still do it.

I went to my GP who was no help whatsoever. He just looked at me as if to say 'what do you want me to do?'

My weight is increasing everyday and I don't know how much more I can take of feeling so horrible about myself.

I think I just needed to rant and get it out. It has taken me to the point of despair now and I don't know who to turn to or what to do

Replies

  • ElviraCross
    ElviraCross Posts: 331 Member
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    If you have a hard time controlling yourself then make sure you don't have food like that at the house.

    I would also allow yourself certain cheat meals. But that's just my opinion.

    Don't be so upset about this. Just start over tomorrow.
  • cd162
    cd162 Posts: 6
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    hello - big hug from here. Are you in the UK? If so, I'd forget the GP (who sounds pretty inert) and go to the NHS websites instead. I'm sure they do local groups for support over losing weight (although I'm not sure) and maybe that would help you do it with support from other people. There's also stuff like slimming world as well - I know that might sound daunting, but they'll understand how you feel. And please don't beat yourself up - it is a really hard thing to stop yourself doing when you feel down (don't I know it), and loads of people on here will recognise what you're feeling. Best wishes to youx
  • sarafil
    sarafil Posts: 506 Member
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    Sorry you are feeling this way, it is a difficult place to be. But the reality is there is no one you can really turn to, except yourself. YOU have to want to change, and you have to find the strength to do it. We are all here to support you, but ultimately you have to want it enough to make the lifestyle change. You can help yourself by getting rid of all the foods you know you shouldn't be eating, so the temptation is gone. Before you go to people's homes to eat, eat healthy food. Good luck, you can do this....it is hard, but it is SO worth it. Commit yourself for a few weeks, and you will find that it gets easier and easier. Take small steps, if necessary, but do something....
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
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    Don't buy it. If it's not in the house you can't eat it.
    Always think before you reach for anything. Make a choice to pick the healthiest option available. Never say the hell with it.
    No one can do it for you. You need to stop making excuses. If you really want it you'll do it.
    You can feel full eating healthy food, it's all about choices.
  • SocWkrBee
    SocWkrBee Posts: 374
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    Hi. Don't be ashamed. Shame leads to guilt and guilt leads to feeding your feelings.

    Are there other things going on in your life...stressors? I have learned to reward myself with food as many others have. Good day? I eat. Bad day? I eat even more. Messed up? Well you suck anyway, so might as well eat again. These are things I would tell myself. Find out what your triggers are. That is the first step. Then once you know what they are think of something that you can do instead of eating.

    I know that this is cliche, but walking has helped me clear my mind. Instead of grabbing a snack (chips and sweet pastries are my go to) I have been taking my dogs for walks.

    Have you ever talked to a professional? Someone who can help you sort things out.

    Also, do you deprive yourself? Some people on here are all gung ho about low carbs, no carbs, clean eating, raw vegan....whatever. Do whatever you can maintain in the long haul. Not what is the hot button, trending topic of the moment. Also, maybe check your calories. When they are too low, you might feel deprived.

    I am not an expert by any means. I am just at the beginning of my journey. I wish you luck. Feel free to FR me if you would like.
  • tashaa1992
    tashaa1992 Posts: 658 Member
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    Why can't I stop eating??

    I woke up and ate chocolate brownies and millionaires shortbread just because it was there.

    I went to MIL and ate a Sunday lunch that would feed 3 people and I ate enough crumble to feed probably 4 people.

    I am sat here in pain from being so full and it has made me feel so so ashamed. I know I am doing it and I know how bad it will make me feel but I still do it.

    I went to my GP who was no help whatsoever. He just looked at me as if to say 'what do you want me to do?'

    My weight is increasing everyday and I don't know how much more I can take of feeling so horrible about myself.

    I think I just needed to rant and get it out. It has taken me to the point of despair now and I don't know who to turn to or what to do
    One of my sisters suffers with bulimia, she binges too and she has had no help from doctors because as far as they're concerned, she isn't overweight or underweight so they've more or less just given her a load of 'magic' pills to stop the binging and purging and that's it.
    She has tried removing all the trigger foods from her diet, but it hasn't worked for her, she just binges more. As a family we have tried to step in and remove her from the situation when it arises by distracting her but it hasn't worked either. Have you tried allowing yourself NORMAL portions of your 'binge food' everyday? Obviously along with healthy food:) Also, maybe have a look for recovery sites as the support there should help too:) Take the focus away from losing weight, but restoring your health. Only you can do this, you'll get there just keep going xxx
  • Simone_King
    Simone_King Posts: 467 Member
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    First step: You are out of deial.

    Second step: Try to understand what is wrong and why you eat.

    It is not easy. I know from the fact. I am like you. If I let myself, I will sit and eat everything in site!

    You are on here! LOG IT! Once you do that, you sit there and panic because you are so over calories it's not even funny.

    Then lastly, FIND A NEW DOCTOR!
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,564 Member
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    Seek therapy.

    You can find a professional in your area that can help you get to the bottom of your issues.

    I can help you lose the weight by giving you specific numbers daily but it sounds like you need a pro shrink.
  • Utterly_Butterly
    Utterly_Butterly Posts: 18 Member
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    Thank you everyone. I feel much better after getting it all off my chest.

    I need to stop looking at this like a huge task and break it down into smaller chunks. For now I think daily. If I can get through one day without bingeing right now I'll be happy.

    I need to really think about what direction my life will be going in if I continue this.

    I think it is time to admit that therapy would be a wise idea. I need to change my relationship
    With food and right now I have no clue how to change it.
  • catty02
    catty02 Posts: 2
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    No matter how you slice it, losing weight is SO difficult and also so rewarding. Therapy will help you explore your negative relationship with food but also why it is you do things that are counterproductive to your happiness. It takes time and commitment though. I've been going for sometime and it's helped with my mental health and body image. It's given me the motivation to workout and eat better.

    It's much easier to hate yourself and feel ashamed than it is to love yourself and feel proud. Stick with it. One day at a time... Or in my case, one meal at a time!
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,564 Member
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    Thank you everyone. I feel much better after getting it all off my chest.

    I need to stop looking at this like a huge task and break it down into smaller chunks. For now I think daily. If I can get through one day without bingeing right now I'll be happy.

    I need to really think about what direction my life will be going in if I continue this.

    I think it is time to admit that therapy would be a wise idea. I need to change my relationship
    With food and right now I have no clue how to change it.

    If you knew how much you can actually eat daily, would it feel better?
    Most people new to dieting see 1200 and feel terrible going over when they could actually eat in excess of 2k and still lose weight.

    Check out the link on my profile for more info.

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