I have failed, Again - A Vent. =(

So, to my extreme disappointment in myself, I am once again having to start over in my weight loss journey. I'm posting this to somehow try to feel accountable. I feel like I need to get this out and with everyone here trying to be healthier in general, it's a good venue to do it in. And I pray and hope this is the last time I am starting from this place again in this journey. I don't want to have let myself slip like I have again, and have to do it all over again.
As of last September I had lost 140 lbs, I was 60 lbs from my first goal weight, doing great, feeling great. Then I really can't pinpoint it, but at the end of that month I started having one too many "treats" here and there. I know some of it was tied to my birthday. Anywho, over the next probably 6 months, I gained back about 25 lbs. I was still working out some, but I was NOT eating well. A lot of it went on during the holidays, my in laws are big get together with way too much food people and I let myself indulge too much, fact. I'd go and try to work it off and make things better, but there'd be a new plate of cookies or something like that the next day and I'd let myself go again.
This all went on until March, when things got much worse. I started stress eating (this and emotional eating are my issues) because we found out my MIL had cancer for the second time....then I hurt myself pretty good with a knife while chopping some food and ended up having a thumb stitched back up and ended up seeing a Dr. who put me on high BP meds because I was borderline Hypertensive and was having a high heart rate. She told me that it didn't matter how much weight I'd lost and she didn't care, I was still fat (her actual words). She put me on a beta blocker that I spent a whole two weeks on, all the while feeling like I was dying and just horrible until I got a second opinion and this Dr. told me yes, I was heavier than I should be, but I'd done so well losing weight and in his opinion the first way to try to deal with my BP being up a bit at my age was to work on stress and diet and try to lower it that way before putting me on something like such a high dose of Beta Blockers right off the bat, so he took me off them. I slowly began to feel "normal" again. Also in the middle of all this, I went to the ER because we thought I was having an allergic reaction to something I ate one night - turns out it wasn't that, but a very BAD throat muscle spasm. I got put on prednisone for that and promptly gained 15 lbs in two weeks. What made the spasm worse is the one thing that helped it, was eating. Something in swallowing helped with stretching the muscle and I was encouraged to snack to help with the discomfort. Sadly healthy snacking gave way to junk snacking.
None of those things are by any means excuses or anyones fault, just hurdles I was thrown and I as usual, failed to jump and let myself fall flat on my face at each one.
So here I find myself, 10 months later, 60 lbs gained back. I'm JUST now pulling myself out of a two week long binge it seems like because when I realized how much weight was back, I just hated myself so much I can't explain it. I felt like eating because I deserved to be fat and unhappy and all kinds of other horrible things. I keep thinking of where I'd have been had I stuck it out now. I keep thinking of how in my life so far, I've lost 300 lbs....300 POUNDS!! And I'm STILL FAT. I'm still useless. And I just hate myself for it. I'm ashamed.
I got so upset a couple weeks back when the low part started and the binging started and I started telling myself I was nothing, that I deleted about everyone off my MFP friend list (if you were there and are reading this, I am truly sorry! =( ) and started to delete my whole account because in my mind, it didn't matter because I didn't matter. I was made to fail, in my mind.
I'm writing this because I'm trying to pull myself up by my bootstraps again and try again.
I don't want to fail anymore, if I can. I don't want to worry about things like being hypertensive at 27 years old and stressed and unhealthy.
I just need to get it all out so I can tell myself it's okay and maybe I can do it this time, Finally.
Maybe this time I won't fail again and backslide the way I have. Maybe this will be the time I stick it out and reach HEALTH.

Thanks for reading....And if anyone wants to add me, please do. I would like to build up a support group again and try to take better advantage of it than I did last time.