question for people who have been fat all their life

I've always been fat all my life.
In grade ten I was 298 (and lost 50 lbs, but gained it back).

I honestly can't wait to feel healthy and feel what it's like to be a healthy weight.

I was just always used to it - I also didn't really get picked on too much either as a kid so it was easier to cope with. I grew up in a small town and everyone was friends with each other. So it never really motivated me to lose weight until I hit high school, now that I am out of high school I am taking it serious again and I hope to lose that 50lbs again plus a lot more.

I've always been 'big boned'. When I was younger I was overweight. I finally lost the baby fat in junior high and high school. I think the best I've ever looked was right after high school. I had my son in my 20s so I gained all the weight back and ever since then the weight has just been piling on!

The heaviest I've ever been was when I was around 22-24 as I had been going through a divorce. I eventually lost a good deal of weight when I was 25 since I had started a job and I was on my feet all day. Ever since my weight has slowly been piling on. Currently I am at my heaviest in years and I know that I need to get my weight under control.

Personally, every time I look at myself in the mirror, it makes me want to break all the mirrors in the house. I'm so disgusted with my figure but I have accepted that I will probably never get down to my pre-pregnancy weight in my lifetime. My family is very critical so it's not uncommon for me to hear my mom tell me every day how fat I am. It's tough!

Been fat all my life (though my mom says I wasn't) and grew up in a house full of athletic brothers.

I stopped looking in the mirror at some point which was probably after I went beyond the weight I said I'd never go past (went at least 30 pounds beyond that).
I finally decided things needed to change in my life and have lost 107 pounds in the last 2 years with 33 left to go.
I'm still adjusting. Still working on my self esteem, learning how to love myself, and to accept who I am and at 46 years old, it's not an easy thing to do.

I was always fat. Always the biggest girl in my class. My family kept telling me it was baby fat & I would out grow it. Yea right. I wanted to be like the skinny girls in high scholl, but I just stuffed my face instead. it wasn't easy, but I did it & I feel wonderful. I have energy. i can buy clothes at real stores, that didn't even carry fat sizes. Don't give up people. If I can do it, you can, too.

I was always fat, I never really handled it. It was a huge factor in my depression in high school and the root of my suicide attempt. Now my release is through working out and not looking at it as I'm fat and I have to lose all this weight, but looking at it as just a number. It doesn't determine who I am.

Although I am looking forward to my goal weight and some pretty nice bikini's haha.

I've been overweight since 1st grade (25 years). I lost 52.5lbs with Weight Watchers in 2006 and came within 1lb of my goal weight. I went from 194.5 to 142. I felt really weird in the 140's. I had always been the fat kid and now, I weighed less than my mom or either of my sisters. So everyone joined Weight Watchers, lost weight and I became the fattest again! I have gained back 37 of the pounds I lost and am trying to get back to 150. I feel good there. It is a really weird thing. My husband asked if I could weigh whatever I wanted without trying, what would I weigh. I said like 145, even though that's still overweight for my height. I don't think I'd ever be comfortable as a size 2. Thanks for posting!

I've always been overweight. I was the class clown in high school, so I didn't catch too much heat from that. Middle school was terrible.

I'm pretty happy now. My fitness goals are completely health-oriented, and I told my family that I didn't want to die a "John Candy" death.

FFB (Former Fat Boy) here too. I have been big my whole life, and unfortunately suffered from having parents who dismissed it as "puppy fat" and made no real attempt to make any lifestyle changes. I was never morbidly obese, but came close at about 240lbs (6' tall).

I have gone through this process never really knowing what was underneath. There has been the mental struggles - because we all fear change to some extent, even good change. I have had weak days and strong days, and I am far from my goal. Though I am finding the further along I get, the further I am from my goal.

What I mean by that is I started this process with the goal of being 'normal'. To me that was being in a healthy weight range and just not being the 'fat guy' in the room all the time. Now that I have achieved that my goals have increased. I now want to have a toned, muscular physique, and to finally see those abs that have been hiding my whole life... they are a bit like Santa, I had never seen them so not sure if they existed...

This is a never-ending journey now, I now realise that, but setting periodic and attainable goals has really helped me feel like I have achieved something substantial. The best is yet to come, but with the awesome support of my friends here and MFP as a tool, nothing is impossible.

So muh of the whole "weight loss journey" is about your mental journey, learning about yourself, changing how you view yourself, and accepting yourself flaws and all.

I was always overweight too. High school skinny for me was about 180 or something close to that. Or maybe more accurately, a size smaller than I am at the moment. My goal weight is somewhere I was in middle school, so who knows what that will look like on me as an adult.

As I am losing, I get hints on what my shape might be like. I've always had this vision of myself that I am super pear shaped with huge thighs and a big butt. Now I am not so sure if that is true anymore, so I have to update my mental vision. Right now I feel like I have made progress. But not really. It is like good news bad news. Good news: I can fit into stuff in most stores...i.e. dresses and pants. Bad news, the pants are still tight in the thigh. Good news: I look less pear and more hourglass. Bad news, I still basically have the exact same shape (and rolls) that I did when I was heavier and my arms are pretty much the same exact size, but firmer.

Some things you can do to get used to seeing the new you:
1. Try on new clothing styles you didn't/couldn't wear before. Maybe a dress or a skirt or jeans or whatever it was
2. Get a makeup counter makeover at your department store (just so when you walk out, you'll look totally different)
3. Get a proper bra fitting (Do not go near Victories Secret for this at all. Try an independent boutique with a large range of sizes or a Nordstrom). I spent about 17 years in the wrong bra size, and it makes a huge difference in how your clothes look and how you feel about yourself
4. Try to do something completely new: take a class, go to a different part of town, try a new cuisine

Experiencing new things will help you see the new you as you make your way to your goal.

I've also been fat my entire life. Not huuuuge, but.. bigger than everyone else.

I just got used to it. I was never really bullied at school for my weight but I've had confidence issues for so long now. I want to be able to wear bikinis and skimpy clothing and leave the house without worrying whether I look fat in this.

I guess I never really coped with it, I always knew I was unhappy, I was depressed there was one yr when I gained about 80 lbs my dr got on my moms case they were very worried but to me its like I didnt care about anything. I was sort of detached. In my family they would kind of make fun of you if you were dieting or exercising because we didnt do that, its like you were meant to be the way you are. I am still struggling in my journey so far I have lost 45 lbs, started at 265 +/- and now at 220 its hard to shake that feeling. But I feel like Im doing better now that almost all of my family knows that Im watching what I eat and started to learn to exercise. I feel very good in my skin now. Its still a work in progress but Im getting there.

Oh wow. Good for you for deviating from what you knew. I hope your family sees the changes you make and decide to follow in your footsteps.

I've been overweight since I was about seven, so I have no clue what a thin and fit me would look like. Well, I know what a thin five year old me looks like, since I have photos. But otherwise, no clue.

My weight and my reaction to it is hopelessly intertwined with depression. I doubt the weight gain caused the depression, there is a pretty significant family history of depression, but they certainly worked together in a vicious feedback loop that kept me miserable and gaining weight. Coping--I became more aggressive in some ways. I became more willing to get into a fight (I still have a scar on my neck from a childhood fight that I think was caused by someone teasing the fat girl). I also became an underachiever. I wasn't what I wanted to be, there was no point in trying, because I might fail, so better not to really try. That carried over into many other parts of my life, and has been extraordinarily damaging as an adult. I also became more passive, because I didn't want to draw attention to myself that might be negative. I didn't want to be seen. I hid behind humor and snark, and was the funny fat girl if I ever showed up on anyone's radar. I learned not to trust people, since even people who were friends couldn't be counted on not to mock me for my weight occasionally. I never knew where it was going to come from. I avoided guys, convinced I wasn't attractive enough to deserve to date. I skipped prom, high school dances, everything like that.

Overall the combination of weight and depression have had a tremendously negative impact on my life. I'm dealing with the depression, and trying to develop some of the skills and habits that I would have been well served to learn when I was younger, and now I'm ready to start working on the weight bit.

It is just so depressing, to see it written out like that.

I made jokes about myself to ease everyone around me, but I never coped with it until last year. I know why I used to eat, and I had to change that. I cut myself twice over some comments, once in 8th grade, and once in 11th. I just figured "What's the point in trying to lose weight?" I know the point now

In 5th grade, I was 114. I know it's not as bad as I've seen in some schools now, but I remember this chick, Arminenda Figueroa, got a hold of some ID for the police if I was kidnapped, and said, "You weigh 114. God, how much do you eat, lard *kitten*?!" And that has always stuck with me. I did have some meat on my bones, but I was also already a C cup and 5'3 (I'm only 5'7.5 now).

In 8th, I was probably 230. In 12th, maybe 250. I hit 275 in after my 4 years in college.

I just kept denying it was that bad, or I'd joke about it even though I was miserable that I let it go as bad as it was. I finally found a support group and a great therapist that helped me last year to work through a lot of that mess.

I honestly was pretty happy with myself, it wasn't until after I lost weight I was unhappy with my body. I was 200 lbs most of high school and gained another 20 or so after starting college. I started working out with a friend junior year and found I really enjoyed it, the food part didn't come later for me. It took 4 years, but I lost 75 lbs and got down to a low of 145 which I never would have thought possible. Now after 2 kids I'm back to almost 200 lbs and it has been slow losing. I'm a lot unhappier with myself now than I was before, I think because now I know what it was like to not be overweight and it was kind of awesome.