question for people who have been fat all their life

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  • Chubbud1
    Chubbud1 Posts: 28 Member
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    I have always been fat. My "friends" would put me on a "diet".....they were 8 years old. I remember being on a liquid diet by the time I was in 2nd grade. I was always always ALWAYS picked on. High school, my sophomore year, I weighed 220lbs. Senior year, i made it down to 175. It wasn't until I went through chemo that I lost weight. I was excited to see 130lbs! Granted, I had no hair and was pale. But...that number was what stood out the most.

    In my mind...at 158lbs now, I am still that 220lb girl. I am still that "fat girl" no one likes. My minds image is so distorted. I almost wanted to go through chemo again to just obtain that number. I dont know why Im so obsessed with it. Its scary. Sad really.
  • lakota1307
    lakota1307 Posts: 73 Member
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    me too I'll let you know when i get there, but to be honest I'm scared in a a way and don't know why, I was 224 at graduation and 200 in 8th grade haven't been that low yet i am currently at 269 started at 317 don't know why I would be scared to be thin...
  • butterflylady86
    butterflylady86 Posts: 369 Member
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    I have been fat my whole life. I remember my Mom coming home. From Parent Teachers conferences and telling my teachers said How pretty I was. If she just lose weight. That statement really destroyed me. When you a fat kid plus have learning problems double whammy. I let go of it but it hurt for a long time. My highs weight was 305 in 1997. I have never got near that weight again. Losing this weight will change my life for the better. The idea of being smaller makes me SMILE. Plus my daughter is getting married next year. I haven't seen some family since 2000. So it will feel extra special to be small by then. Peace to you
  • jellybeanhed313
    jellybeanhed313 Posts: 344 Member
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    I know just the feeling. I started getting fat in about 3rd grade and have been 200+ pounds since high school and 250+ since my early 20's. I am almost 30 now and the lightest I've been since high school. 226 as of today. That IS my "high school skinny." I feel amazing and weird when I look in the mirror. I have never really seen this body before. Sometimes I can't even see my weight loss tho until I look at a picture and think, omg that's me?? I actually want to have my picture taken now because I don't feel like I look like a giant fat mess. It is taking some time, but I am getting used to the idea of being "skinny." My goal is around 180-190 so I am not to far away. I'm 5'7" with a fairly large build so I think I'd be happy there. For the first time in my life I actually like my legs and wearing short skirts! And my waist is smaller than my hips...not by much, but some to give me shape. :)
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I was not actually FAT my whole life, but I was always at least a little overweight. I was called "chubby" my whole life. My dad would frequently sit me down to talk to me about how being overweight would affect me when I became an adult. But I had a healthy self-esteem back then, so even though I knew I wanted to be thinner, it didn't really affect my life that much.

    Then I got fat during college and stayed that way for the next 5 years. That affected me a lot. I would only hang out with people who I knew were not bothered by my weight. I stayed in a long-distance relationship that wasn't working solely because I didn't want to be confronted with the reality of being fat AND single. I hated pretty much everything about my life for most of that time. One day, the desire to finally lose the weight and be healthy came over me. I lost 100 lbs in a year and a half, and I'm a completely different person now. I don't make excuses for myself anymore, I don't hide anymore, I'm not afraid of being who I am anymore. But it took a long time for my mind to catch up with my body. It took losing about 80 lbs before I finally started to feel like I wasn't still a fat girl. But I did get there.

    None of it has been easy, and staying at a healthy weight requires constant attention and focus and dedication. I used to wonder what it would feel like to finally be "done," but I learned quickly that I will never be done. It will be a lifelong struggle for me, but what I know now is that it's worth it.
  • jkleon86
    jkleon86 Posts: 245 Member
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    I was alway concideres fat at school by a few people, enough to give me a complex about it but when I was at home we ate what mom fixes no menue like kids today think has got to be posted in the kitchen somewhere LOL
    I found before a diet pics once after high school . I tried many diets and looking back at the pics I know now all I really needed was to tone up but I do think all the diets messed with my metabolisam because it was gain from then on. I remember being proud of myself once for only eating 70 calories one day but as the saying goes "I wish I had known then what I know now"
    And I would give anything to be starting where I was in those pics today LOL .
    And NO NO NO I still can't get use to this FAT. Once I admited that "I have a weight problem" there is no going back It is always nagging at me in the back of my mind if I am trying at the moment or making any head way or not it is always there.
  • butterflylover527
    butterflylover527 Posts: 940 Member
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    I've also been heavy my whole life. I had a friend when I was younger who was also heavy and I remember the 2 of us going to odd extremes to lose weight.....in the 4th grade. We'd do every Richard Simmons DVD we could get our hands on, drink water, and only eat 1 ice cream cone a day. Obviously that only lasted about 5 hours but it's still sad.

    I've never been skinny so I'm excited to see myself skinny for once!!
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
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    I was normal through out high school, college and after college. It wasn't until I got a job working at a 5 star golf result with award winning chefs and eating there food, followed by having a baby that I put on weight. I was used to 120-140lbs, and by the time I was nine months pregnant, I was 196lbs. I felt fat, but my husband constantly reassured me that I just had his baby and it didn't matter what I looked like, he would love me if I was 10lbs or 500lbs and because of this mentality, I didn't feel much pressure to take the weight off. My guess is after having my son, I was down to 175ish, and after three years, I was back up to 196 again. I felt disgusting and nothing fit. Now I'm back to 175 and it's a struggle!!
  • lq022
    lq022 Posts: 232 Member
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    I wasn't overweight as a really small child, but around age 8-9 I started to gain ... VERY quickly. I was about 200 pounds entering highschool, and graduated at about 230. My all-time heaviest weight was 245 and i'm only 5'4. I've never coped with it ... I've shut myself out of important milestones because I feared what others thought of me .. and what I thought of myself. I've always had alot of friends, mainly because I had to have an awesome personality to make up for the fact that I'm fat. But thats all I've ever been ... I've been on MFP for awhile now, but until recently never really USED the site for its full advantage (forums, actually tracking the food, finding support in others etc). I'm still not dealing with the REAL reasons WHY I continue to eat .. I've been to nutritionists, weight watchers, personal trainers etc... I can tell you anything you want to know diet wise .... but its those habits!!!!!!!!!! The horrible habits I've made over the years. I have good habits too though ... I do exercise alot .. I go to the gym about 4-5 days a week .. but I eat MOUNDS of food . Like, ridiculous amounts . Its not that I eat a ton at one sitting, because I dont .. I'll eat a regular dish of food .. leave the table ... and then come back 20 minutes later .... then another 40 minutes come back and grab whatever. Then do it again . Then its the next meal . And then the cycle repeats . I'm just constantly eating. Its a habit . Its an addiction thats a b!tch to break . Once I get a handle on 1) the reasons, 2) replacing those horrible habits with good ones .. THATS when the weight will come off.

    I think personal reflection is the place to start ... you need to figure out WHAT exaclty is your trigger .. is it certain foods? is it habits? is it your family? is it your lack of movement? You know the answers. You have lived this life for long enough to know. The scary part is being honest with yourself. You may have such a desire to be thin and hate your body, but until you realize these truths that only YOU can know.. you wont lose a pound.

    Sorry I kinda went off on a tangent lol .. hope this helps in some way!
  • DMarieLVT
    DMarieLVT Posts: 71 Member
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    I've been overweight pretty much my entire life. I was average as a toddler/preschooler and then gained from there. The only other time in my life I considered myself 'skinny' was after a spinal surgery at 13 years of age with a month of bed rest and feeling too ill to eat. I was still 145 lbs then and was far from 'healthy' but I did love wearing a bathing suit that summer :/

    I don't think I ever 'coped'. I always felt down about myself at one time or another and wanted to change...I just never had enough will power to do so. I believe that not being able to cope is both a problem and a blessing. It was hard on me not being able to cope with being overweight when I was younger. I felt out of place and judged a lot more than I should've as a young girl. But in the end, I'm glad that I wasn't able to come to terms with it because now I am able to change myself. You hear so many people giving up because it's just easier to stay overweight. THAT'S the problem of coping with it. If that makes any sense :P

    I honestly cannot wait to feel better about myself. One of my DREAMS is to be able to shop off the rack at a normal department store! I think things will really change for me when I finally hit that milestone :)
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
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    I was obese as a kid myself...high weight 192 in 8th grade. I've been thin for more of my life than the 10yrs I was obese but I'm always that obese girl in my head...sometimes I don't recognize me in pictures. I am who I am and I'm nothing like what I look like if that makes any sense lol
  • lmr9
    lmr9 Posts: 628 Member
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    bump to read later
  • kerr2010
    kerr2010 Posts: 219 Member
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    I honestly don't know if I was fat all my life. Maybe just a bit overweight. I do know that I have been self conscious about my appearance for as long as I remember. I have never felt confident. Even in grade 12 when I lost 25 pounds and weight 121 I thought I was fat. Now that weight is my goal. I think it is one of the reasons I have never reached my goal as an adult. I am afraid that even after all of the hard work is done that I just won't be satisfied.
  • stephross88
    stephross88 Posts: 846 Member
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    I have been overweight ALL my life, I remember in the second or third grade I was at least the second heaviest in my class. I think it came from growing up poor and not eating the way I should have. I don't think I ever really coped with it, so now I am DOING something about it!.
  • jkleon86
    jkleon86 Posts: 245 Member
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    I weighed myself this morning and had to laugh though. I weigh less now (at 21) than I did in middle school.
    [/quote]



    That is sooooo cooooooool ! I can't wait till I can say that :ohwell:
  • suzieqcookie
    suzieqcookie Posts: 314 Member
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    the first time i lost all the weight (127lbs) it was such an overwhelming change that there is no doubt in my mind that THAT is the biggest reason why i gained it all back, but this is what i went through the most:

    *feeling small and vulnerable, especially behind the wheel of a car.
    *dealing with asshats who would say things like "you look great now! i would have never dated you when you were a fat cow, but now you're "do-able"
    *coping with EVERYBODY telling you how much better you look (i constantly felt like they might as well be saying "you used to look like ****")
    *finding out that being thin solves nothing. the same issues i had fat, i had thin, and then some....
    *coming "this close" to declaring bankruptcy... it's not just the new wardrobe (and bras, shoes and panties) at the end, it's the clothes you have to buy inbetween!
    *and back to the attention... it overwhelmed me. period. I was no longer the "fat chick", i was boobs, legs, *kitten*, face, hips and abs. Fat chick was easier than being body parts.

    thank GOD i'm older and wiser and really don't give a crap what people think anymore and i am in this for me.

    I wish us the best of luck, and hope that i helped because i wish i had known these things before i lost weight.. not being prepared threw me for such a loop!
  • shar140
    shar140 Posts: 1,158 Member
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    Try watching "Bones" for awhile and see how fat people are regarded on that show. If there's a fat person on the show, I know that person is going to end up being the killer.

    Now I'm gonna have to watch it and pay more attention!!
  • crimsoncat
    crimsoncat Posts: 457 Member
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    I was never grossly obese, but I was officially overweight from about 7th grade to first year of college. I was called fat from pre-school on up.

    I always laugh at those "highschool skinny" things too because I was 25 pounds heavier back then with limited muscle. My Senior prom dress FALLS off me now.

    I also was a chubby cheeked Italian girl in a area full of skinny, pale blonds (we have a lot of trophy wives for moms here). Even when I was not overweight I still took tons of crap about being fat. Looking back on it, I think the bullying became a self-full-filling prophecy that encouraged to me being overweight in highschool. Why bother to care about yourself if you're always going to be fat, right?

    I got out of highschool, the bullying stopped, I started dating my now fiance and suddenly I was like "dude, I could be pretty now!" Started working out and never looked back. Knowing my finace liked me even when I was overweight really helps because I never feel pressured to be skinny. As a person that shuts down whenever my weight or food intake is mentioned, that is really important to keeping me on my healthy track.

    Even though I was only overweight and never obese, I still look at other girls and judge myself against them very harshly. I still think I look 25 pounds heavier. My fiance has pointed out girls who are my size now and I think "wow.. that's too skinny to be me." I can't even imagine the body image problems I would have if I was heavier.
  • ahigg396
    ahigg396 Posts: 100 Member
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    bump!
  • swisspea
    swisspea Posts: 327 Member
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    I've always been the tallest girl in my class, and almost always the heaviest. I've always been painfully aware of my size, and grew in a very self-conscious child. I just bought my first pair of size 12 SHORTS after being a size 14 since I was 12. I weigh 6 pounds less now than I did when I was 16, after going to weight watchers with my mom for a few months.

    I went through phases of how I dealt with it. I was incredibly sensitive and insecure as a child. I was bullied quite often and was quite a victim in elementary school to grade 8. Once then, I decided that the bullies were the wrong ones, and I came out of my shell a bit, started making lots of friends and being outgoing. In high school I continued to develop into a pretty well-adjusted girl. I wasn't the most popular girl, but I was well-liked and had a lot of friends. Once I left my suburb and went to University, I no longer felt like my personality could get me by. That, coupled with the sudden freedom of not having to wear an unflattering school uniform everyday, I began to rely on unhealthy attention from men to prove to myself that I could be attractive at a size 14/5 foot 9/ 215+ pounds. I thought I was happy with one-night stands, meeting guys at bars, and flirting shamelessly. This period lasted for 2 years- at the time, I felt liberated, but looking back, I was fooling myself. I think that period made me an even stronger person though. Now, I have an amazing husband that thinks I am gorgeous as I am (he met me at 215 pounds, and I got as high as 225, now I'm 195, and he's very proud of me).

    Another way that I dealt with it throughout this time, is that I never really had close girlfriends. My best friends have mostly been guys- the lines between friendship and "something more" was only blurred with one of these friends- and we no longer speak. My room-mate in university was a guy, and I aways thought girls were fake. This stemms from bullying when I was growing up (guys never bullied me, only girls did). Now I have a few good girlfriends, and they are so important to me!

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