NSVs and scale victory too

(apologies in advance for some foul language, spelling, and grimmer errors. I'm a work in progress.)

I never did an intro thread so I'll add some of that here as well.

IMy name is Matt. I'm a 37 year old, single guy from outside Charlotte NC, USA. I'm 6'4" tall and when i joined MFP I weighed 523 pounds. During the day I'm a CAD/engineering tech (desk jockey) at a civil engineering firm. In my free time i enjoy guns & hunting, old cars & Jeeps, and anything to do with my American Mastiff pup, Gertrude (175 pounds).

I've always been fat. From my baby pictures, through childhood, my teenage years, and finally as an adult, fat, fat, fat, really, really fat. It's always been an issue. A few of my weight benchmarks that stand out include weighing 88 pounds in kindergarten, 299 pounds exiting the 8th grade, 401 at football camp after my sophomore year in high school, 460 at 21 years old and finally my max measured weight of 555 pounds in 2009. As the weight climbed higher and higher, so did the negatives like social anxiety and depression. Going out brought out the anxiety so I stayed at home alone which led to beings depressed about being alone which led to eating and weight gain which made it even more difficult to go out the next time. I was caught in a vicious circle taking me further and further down. I ended up isolating myself from everyone and everything. From the age of 22(1997) (my last year of college) up until 2009, I rarely left the house except to go to work. Even though I put out a positive, upbeat attitude to everyone I met, I had daily thoughts of ending it all.

(Sorry for the depressing backstory, it really does get better. I promise.)

Anyway, fast forward to Memorial Day 2012 (my 37th birthday). The day starts off bad. I'm upset to be awake. Not that I woke up early or anything, the fact that I didn't kill over in my sleep was enough to upset me. The office is closed for the holiday so I'm sitting at home alone in my thoughts. I'm not sure if I hit rock bottom as they say or if I had an epiphany. This whole suicide by cheeseburger thing was just taking to long. Maybe I should try something different.

I got on my scale and weighed myself. 523 pounds.

(internal dialog)

"Wow, 523." (I was expecting worse.)

"What is my ideal weight? 220

300 pounds is a lot. Let's see. 3 years till I'm 40, 300 pounds from my ideal weight. 100 pounds a year doesn't seem quite as bad. 100 pounds a year / 52 weeks a year = approx. 2 pounds a week. Hell, if I cut out the fast food and eat so salads I could do that."

I had salads for dinner every night for a week and only had fast food a couple times (instead of daily).

"Salads every night wasn't so bad, maybe I'll go take a walk on the greenway."

I walked maybe four days that week. I felt pretty good about walking but my back, hips, knees, ankles and feet were getting angry.

"it would be nice to go swimming. Cool water and no weight on my joints. That would be nice."

Despite my social anxiety, I decided to check into local public pools. I found out the local YMCA had two pools and opened at 5 am.

"5 am is pretty early."
"Yea, it's early but there won't be as many people there to see you fat *kitten* in that bright green flowered swimsuit."
"Good point. Fukit, let's join the gym."

I went the following Saturday. I sat in my car for a half hour battling myself before I finally walked in and signed up. I set a goal of being at the Y at 5 AM, Monday thru Friday. To date I've missed three days. I overslept by four hours the first Friday (dispite four alarms a foot from my head). I missed another days swim due to a nose bleed. I actually made it to the Y but the bleed started in the per swim shower. The other miss was on July 4 because they were closed.

"Hey now, this waters fine. Maybe we should check out the weight room."
"if you get in that weight room you'll have a coronary."
"it would be kind of ironic to kill over from a heart attack after trying death by cheeseburger for 20 years. Maybe I'll go get a physical first."
"your haven't went to the doctor since high school. That's been 20 years."
"I had never joined a gym either, and I'm enjoying the pool every day. Fukit, I'm going."

I scheduled an appointment the following Monday and had my first visit that Thursday. I've also visited a nutritionist. I'm happy and kind of surprised to report that I'm not as bad off as I expected. My blood pressure is a little high, but not enough to warrant anything other than additional monitoring. My blood sugar was normal. I expected this to be bad, especially since my dad is diabetic. I did find out my thyroid hormone and vitiman D levels were both low. I was told that these can affect your metabolism and mood.

"Fat and depressed. This makes since."

Now on to the victories.

NSVs
Trying something different.
Eating better.
Being more active.
Joining a gym.
Going to the doctor.
Seeing the nutrictionist.
Being more positive.
Being upset because I'm not longer sleeping, not because I didn't kill over in my sleep.
Feeling like I have a plan with an obtainable goal.

On Scale Victory
498 pounds (minus 25 since joining and 57 from my all time high). I lost 53 pounds the year I got Gertrude. I made it down to 502 but never broke into the 400s.

Thanks to everyone who post success stories. I read a couple every night right before I go to sleep and every morning when I wake up. I don't comment on them as much as I should but rest assured, they have served as great motivation.