Self hating remarks...

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Lkoblara
Lkoblara Posts: 137 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm not a super active member on MFP but I am a lurker and I use the tools daily. I noticed a trend in the forums, especially before and after type posts, where members refer to their "before" self as "disgusting" "big fat blob" "skinny fat" whatever.

While you think you're only insulting yourself, by doing this you insult other members at different parts of their journeys. I for one would kill to be "skinny fat" and there are probably some members on here who would love to be the weight of your "before" start weight. Or they are proud to be at that weight now.

My point is, try to be mindful of your words. How you perceive yourself at any weight can greatly effect others. Support yourself at every stage and you're indirectly supporting others. "I was unhappy/unhealthy at this weight..." "I wasn't who I knew I could be..." "I was determined to get back to the old me..." sounds so much more uplifting than "this photo was back when I was a gross fatty."

We're all walking the same path, so choose to be kind. That includes to yourself ;)
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Replies

  • stephenwebbe
    stephenwebbe Posts: 31 Member
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    I agree! I noticed the same thing.
  • kimdarren
    kimdarren Posts: 76 Member
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    Completely agree. Being positive is so much better than insults and negativity.
  • htalexander
    htalexander Posts: 81
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    Glad u posted and couldn't agree more!
  • Lkoblara
    Lkoblara Posts: 137 Member
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    I'm glad I'm not alone in this thinking! :)
  • DeathOracle
    DeathOracle Posts: 4
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    Exactly! I'm so glad someone addressed this.
  • sazzyp1973
    sazzyp1973 Posts: 517 Member
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    nice post
  • Jxnsmma
    Jxnsmma Posts: 919 Member
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    I know, I hate when people say they were at their most disgustingly fattest most horrible self at 150 lbs, and thats my goal weight....
  • obeserat
    obeserat Posts: 218 Member
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    I don't really see whats wrong with expressing how you feel about yourself . I think my username says
    how I see myself even though I've lost 37lb already
  • hayden2218
    hayden2218 Posts: 15
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    I absolutely agree 100%. We all have to be careful with what we say after words like "I am...."

    Just in general, saying words like "I am fat, I am ugly, I am useless...." What horrible things to wish on ourselves! To train our own minds to believe! Isn't there enough of that abuse in society as it is? We don't need to do it to ourselves.

    I'll tell you what I am....

    I am learning. I am trying. I am blessed to have a working, moving body.

    Speaking positively about ourselves and our journey will only be beneficial to our minds AND our bodies. Be kind to yourself and others will follow your example! :)
  • ElyseL1
    ElyseL1 Posts: 504 Member
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    I couldnt agree more!! I tend to think that a lot of these people have self esteem issues though and that makes me feel a bit better. Cause I may be larger then there starting weight, but i know I can still look damn good when I try too. :)
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
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    Well said.
  • SueMizZou
    SueMizZou Posts: 146 Member
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    I agree. Negative self talk is part of our problems. Stay positive. Overweight discrimination is a real issue. We don't need to make each other feel bad, there are plenty of others who will do it for us.
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
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    Hmm sounds too politically correct to me, sorry. If someone doesn't like me referring to my formerly disgusting self then I guess they can cry in their tub of ice cream. :D
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    Errm, nope, I'll refer to myself with whatever words I choose to.
  • FrugalMomsRock75
    FrugalMomsRock75 Posts: 698 Member
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    Hmm sounds too politically correct to me, sorry.

    rofl


    I was a freaking nasty fat blob. Period. I was lazy, and I was slowly killing myself by getting bigger and bigger.

    Hi, I'm Kim, and I'm a food addict. I've been in recovery for 1 year, 5 months, and 10 days...

    isn't that how it actually works? Obviously, everyone who is here that is obese has realized they they, too, are fat and need to do something about it.

    *shrug*
  • patchesgizmo
    patchesgizmo Posts: 244 Member
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    nice post:heart:
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    While you think you're only insulting yourself, by doing this you insult other members at different parts of their journeys. I for one would kill to be "skinny fat" and there are probably some members on here who would love to be the weight of your "before" start weight. Or they are proud to be at that weight now.

    We're all walking the same path, so choose to be kind. That includes to yourself ;)

    You would KILL to be skinny fat, hmm sounds kind of negative to me. Be kind to yourself!!
  • RLDeShazo
    RLDeShazo Posts: 356 Member
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    I used to think the same thing. Like when "skinny" girls would go on and on about how fat they were. Or how I would see someone unhappy with their current weight and I would think, "I would sell my first born child to be that small!" (she hates it when I offer to sell her)

    But I have come to realize that no matter what size they are or what I see on the outside from my point of view, they see something they don't like. Just as I am not happy with what I looked like at 394, they can be equally unhappy at 294. or 194. or 144. or even 124. As long as they don't endanger their health (physical, mental, and emotional), then we are all on the same path. Just at different spots.
  • NanaDino4
    NanaDino4 Posts: 63
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    I totally agree and the worse offense to me IMO are the skinny ones who call themselves fat and are on here asking for advice to lose weight when you can see their bones....they need help of another kind.
  • Lkoblara
    Lkoblara Posts: 137 Member
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    While you think you're only insulting yourself, by doing this you insult other members at different parts of their journeys. I for one would kill to be "skinny fat" and there are probably some members on here who would love to be the weight of your "before" start weight. Or they are proud to be at that weight now.

    We're all walking the same path, so choose to be kind. That includes to yourself ;)

    You would KILL to be skinny fat, hmm sounds kind of negative to me. Be kind to yourself!!


    I didn't say anything negative about myself. There is nothing wrong with saying you want to lose weight. That's IS why we're all here right? I'm just saying that in this kind of forum it might be considerate and *nice* if posters would choose a more positive way of referring to weight/size/activity level.

    If some members have no concerns with being supportive and considerate then obviously my post isn't addressing them. But some people might not realize that what they say about themselves is a reflection of what they think of others.

    (and why be snarky? why not have a discussion without being rude? This is why I haven't posted that much in the message boards. not very welcoming.)

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