Antisocial Much?

Iimoorshiai
Iimoorshiai Posts: 11 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Does anyone else feel like they want to avoid almost all friends and social situations... at least while beginning their diet changes?
I just feel so anti social and really don't want anyone seeing me until I feel better about myself.
Is this normal and should I continue to semi hermit myself until I am comfortable with my eating and not drinking? I am so frustrated!

Replies

  • stephanj
    stephanj Posts: 898 Member
    Totally! I dread going into a party or restaurant situation right now, especially since I am trying not to drink. I brought my own sandwich when I recently hung out for a weenie roast, and felt like a huge dork lol.
  • Iimoorshiai
    Iimoorshiai Posts: 11 Member
    I almost feel like I am wasting my life by avoiding things but at the same time I try to remind myself that once I am where I want to be with myself I will enjoy life more... It sucks!
  • jkandktmom
    jkandktmom Posts: 1,010 Member
    I totally feel like this and I had a friend call me out on it. It so hard to tell friends- especially skinny friends that I don't want to see anyone please I feel like I look horrible.
  • betho217
    betho217 Posts: 50 Member
    I can totally relate! When we're in our twenties our social lives revolve around going out, to bars, resturants, street festivals. I plan for social events ahead of time. Like I know I'm going to a Jam Band Fest this weekend with tons of microbreweries and food trucks. That I can deal with. It's the unexcepted things that come up. Like my friend who just texted me asking to go out for a drink tonight. :/
  • ladybug1620
    ladybug1620 Posts: 1,136 Member
    Definitely. Sometimes it's just easier to avoid the situations than to have to explain myself. And if I do go out with friends or even my husband, I feel like an a** if I don't drink or order something ridiculously healthy so I give in a lot of times. I have a trip coming up in a few weeks with my husband's family and I just started a new meal plan which requires me to eat 6x a day so I'm going to have to bring my own prepared food. I know there will be questions and I just hope they're understanding. I go back and forth between wanting so badly to reach my goals and wanting to just "live" without having to worry about it.
  • ladykate7
    ladykate7 Posts: 206 Member
    I hear ya, I"m turning into that friend who makes the other people feel bad because I only eat half or a third of the meal when we go out to eat. But we gotta do what's right by us. I read somewhere that in social settings if other people are eating more its more likely that you will too, same in reverse. I remind myself that my behavior is influencing others in the group to eat less too. Resturant food is so high cal (for the most part), and appetizer, and a drink , and everyone at the table could use a doggy bag.
  • Anna800
    Anna800 Posts: 639 Member
    It was hard for me, I thought why did I start my diet in the summertime when there's so many social situations. Then I just started showing up to happy hour and not drinking.
  • amersmanders
    amersmanders Posts: 118 Member
    I think the tendency to want to retreat a bit is probably natural. As soon as people in my life starting becoming aware that I was trying to lose weight, they started in with all of their advice (make sure you do this/don't do this) , all of their nay-saying (you're not going to keep it off) and their unlicensed expertise on weight loss. That, or they become hypercritical of what you're eating or doing (should you be eating that? I'm just trying to help!). When you ask for help/suggestions/advice, it's different. But when you feel flooded by it, or when you know you'll get flooded by it in a social situation, it makes the thought of being social less appealing. Just remember to reach out to the people in your life who are an encouragement to you and who support you in your choices so that you don't isolate yourself too much.
  • RainaWalks
    RainaWalks Posts: 72
    i isolate because people are always saying....oh you can have that just not every day....i hate those words....i feel like yelling....leave me alone!...So now i'm alone but its cool...when i lost the weight last time i had to isolate...once i started socializing again it started creeping up .... so this time i will meet for the coffee and i'll have it black and no cookie or cake darn it.....
  • cyclerjenn
    cyclerjenn Posts: 833 Member
    I was the opposite, I started to socialize with people that had what I wanted. I joined a cycling team, started going to running groups and hiking groups. I started finding friends that were into working out and doing the things I enjoyed to help motivate and keep me in the right frame of mind. I do still have my friends that are completely against the whole diet/working out thing, but I limit my time with them to once a week and watch what I eat/drink when I'm with them.
  • Pspetal
    Pspetal Posts: 426 Member
    I don't have an issue with socializing as much as I do with saying no to food offered to me. I've offended my visiting MIL twice just today because I refused a bit of chocolate she offered me and ate what I had cooked (low cal and measured) instead of the food she had cooked (very high cal and very tasty). I hate tedious explanations about calorie deficits. I keep hearing things from people like "Have a good breakfast, small lunch and very small dinner and go for a brisk walk and you'll lose weight. No need to do this silly calorie counting." It's annoying as hell to justifying my habits of not eating breakfast (I just can't!) and eating huge dinners and going to the gym everyday.
  • Iimoorshiai
    Iimoorshiai Posts: 11 Member
    There is nothing more that I want to do right now then to grab a drink and socialize! Especially because I am new to the area and really don't know many people here! ARG!
  • jc86
    jc86 Posts: 151
    Yes! I'm a total hermit right now
  • CanuckLove
    CanuckLove Posts: 673 Member
    <--- Hermit as well
  • VintagElana
    VintagElana Posts: 14 Member
    Yeah it's much easier for me to stay on the straight and narrow, when I'm not going out with friends to bars and restaurants... but it is a bit sad that dieting makes me scared to go out, for fear of failure =(
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,300 Member
    Nope, because I refuse to live my life that way. I go out, make better choices, have a drink here and there, and spend time with my friends and family. You have to learn to live with this as it is a lifestyle change... not a diet.
  • JenCM
    JenCM Posts: 195
    I'm feeling like that right now as I'm re-starting and getting back on track. I feel infinitely too weak to be in those situations and would far rather just be at home, where I can feel a bit more control over what's around me as far as food and there's less to tempt me. It's very hard around me because my in laws are BIG food people. Every little thing that happens, has to be celebrated with food...and it's ALWAYS going out to eat, which makes it even harder because at some point you get tired of being the person who's eating a salad again, at a spaghetti place. =P
  • tracyhall63
    tracyhall63 Posts: 84 Member
    Absolutely! It is not because I feel bad about how I look or want to avoid the food and drink, it is mostly becuase I am in the zone and want to stay in it. It is all about me except when I am at work. And I do drink wine a couple times a week with dinner at home and sometimes out, every couple of weeks I surface. lol..
  • Iimoorshiai
    Iimoorshiai Posts: 11 Member
    Absolutely! It is not because I feel bad about how I look or want to avoid the food and drink, it is mostly becuase I am in the zone and want to stay in it. It is all about me except when I am at work. And I do drink wine a couple times a week with dinner at home and sometimes out, every couple of weeks I surface. lol..

    I think you put it the best. Not so much avoidance, more so "in the zone" ;]
  • drinkindunkin
    drinkindunkin Posts: 10
    I am very anti-social. It's a lifestyle I fully embrace.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    For me it's really just a time issue. I would love to go out, but I always tell people, ok, I'll meet you at 9. They say no way, they want to meet at 5 or 6. I have to workout, shower, and eat. No can do. I have lost most weekday social life. But, it's part of the deal. You have to make sacrifices somewhere.
  • HorseWithNoName27
    HorseWithNoName27 Posts: 188 Member
    I feel like I have to this time around. My last attempt (a few months ago) I slipped away partially due to the influence of friends who constantly wanted to party, brought over fast food, couldn't go out without hitting up Outback Steakhouse, etc. I gave in. I refuse to do that anymore, so I will be having to be a bit of a homebody until I can control myself better. Ultimately, no one tied me down and shoved tacos down my throat; I did, and I lacked control. Until I gain that control back, I don't want to tempt myself.

    Everyone is different, though.
  • Focusonfifty
    Focusonfifty Posts: 105 Member
    Personally I disagree with all who agree with this posting. If you take yourself out of the "temptation" then how do you conquer it. Avoidance can only last but for so long and no man is an island. You don't necessarily have to "explain" anything to anyone just make healthier wiser choices when you do go out. You may be surprised at the support you may also get if you do decide to share your journey and your goals. I do understand we all have different insecurities and strengths; and hopefully your friends like you for who your are and who you're trying to become (a healthier you). Good luck!
  • Focusonfifty
    Focusonfifty Posts: 105 Member
    I was the opposite, I started to socialize with people that had what I wanted. I joined a cycling team, started going to running groups and hiking groups. I started finding friends that were into working out and doing the things I enjoyed to help motivate and keep me in the right frame of mind. I do still have my friends that are completely against the whole diet/working out thing, but I limit my time with them to once a week and watch what I eat/drink when I'm with them.

    Thumbs up to you! That's what we're supposed to do in life anyway, surround ourselves with like minded people.
  • SingeSange
    SingeSange Posts: 98 Member
    I wrote a blog about how I was feeling this same way!! I feel like if I hang out with my friends that I won't eat healthy, they'll "drag me down" and back into bad habits.
    I was getting lonely and a little tired with my own company though and realized that I could isolate myself and eat healthy, or I could eat healthy and spend time with my friends. My friends won't get upset with me for turning down a piece of pepperoni pizza or chicken wings or a piece of pie. My friends will cheer me on in my new healthy habits and maybe even make some better choices while they see the results I'm getting.
    For me, this isn't a temporary diet, it's a change in a way of life, and if I want to have my friends there with me, well, I have to be strong and I have to be honest with them and myself. Sometimes I'll have a piece of pie and a chicken wing, and sometimes I won't. That's real life, and it's so much nicer to share it with the ones we love, isn't it?
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
    Does anyone else feel like they want to avoid almost all friends and social situations... at least while beginning their diet changes?
    I just feel so anti social and really don't want anyone seeing me until I feel better about myself.
    Is this normal and should I continue to semi hermit myself until I am comfortable with my eating and not drinking? I am so frustrated!
    I think there's a big difference between wanting to go it alone for a while while you establish your groove, and isolating yourself because you don't feel good about yourself. If by the latter, you're just talking about feeling better about your ability to stick to the plan in social situations, then I get it...but it kind of sounds like more.
  • writinwater
    writinwater Posts: 52
    Personally I disagree with all who agree with this posting. If you take yourself out of the "temptation" then how do you conquer it. Avoidance can only last but for so long and no man is an island. You don't necessarily have to "explain" anything to anyone just make healthier wiser choices when you do go out. You may be surprised at the support you may also get if you do decide to share your journey and your goals. I do understand we all have different insecurities and strengths; and hopefully your friends like you for who your are and who you're trying to become (a healthier you). Good luck!

    Very well said!

    I've definately cut down on going out, especially since I'm also trying to save $$$ - but I'm not going to let my diet rule my lifestyle! I've learned that it IS actually possible to go out and have a few drinks and not need a kebab or McDonalds on the way home, or to justify eating crap when I'm hungover.

    Sometimes I'll slip up and have something a bit naughty, but in moderation! And if I denied myself my friends and the occasional indulgance completely, eventually I'd go crazy and go on a complete binge! (This is exactly why fad diets dont work.)

    Don't ever let your friends or family give you a hard time for trying to be healthy! Screw what anyone else thinks and KNOW that you are capable of making the right choices!
  • stuffinmuffin
    stuffinmuffin Posts: 985 Member
    Yes during weight loss I totally felt like that and occasionally in maintenance too though I have found ways round it.

    Try and suggest restaurants etc that advertise their food calories before hand (i.e. Pizza Express, Nando's, Zizzi's). That way you can add your calories into your diary and work the rest of the day around them - same applies for if you're going out for a drink. I drink vodka and diet coke so I add in how many I plan to drink in the morning and then plan food or necessary exercise etc.

    Also I do think that life is for living and certain special occasions I will have as a 'spike' day and just enjoy it. The main thing is just getting back on the wagon afterwards. I would count special occasions such as Weddings, big birthdays, christmas, hen/stag do's etc. xx
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    i'm just an anti-social person.

    embrace it!

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