Self hating remarks...

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  • thinnnnnnner
    thinnnnnnner Posts: 89
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    So, I know this is my first post here, but I'd just like to remind everyone that THIS IS THE INTERNET. Don't take it so seriously, if you can't handle a comment someone is making about themselves, you shouldn't be here.

    I'm all for being positive and encouraging, but you can't control what other people say so it's best to just let it go and move on with your life. Dwelling on it is only going to bring you down.
  • obeserat
    obeserat Posts: 218 Member
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    People who self hate can also pass it down to their children and can cause issues with EDs and more. I see it all the time.

    Who said anything about self hate ? I started this journey as an unhealthy 327lb blob of fat , the first step for me was to admit to myself that I looked disgusting that I was really unhealthy and that I needed to do something about it. I have lost 37lb I'm still a fatty but I'm doing something about it. I feel healthier am able to ride 10 miles per day on my bike. I wouldn't have been able to do this if I hadn't stopped to criticise myself and admit to myself that I was unattractive , smelly and not the person my wife married. I feel no pity, self hatred etc I was just honest with myself . If you want to get anywhere be honest with yourself. Sometimes that involves telling other people how you feel too.

    Um...it's the name of the topic you are commenting on. :huh:

    What I'm saying is you can say those things without hating yourself , I describe my physical appearance the way it is , other people must see me the same way judging by the comments I get when I'm cycling , means I'm honest to myself not that I hate myself
  • twiztc
    twiztc Posts: 135
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    I live by the belief (on forums), 'If you wouldn't say it in person, don't type it while hiding behind a computer screen.'

    When a morbidly obese person comments on your fantastic weight loss and asks how you feel now; would you stand there in the parking lot and say, "I feel so much better now that I'm not the disgusting fat pos drain on society that I used to be!"?

    No. I daresay you wouldn't. Because irl, that person would tell you off, start to cry, or at very least never speak to you again after that.

    Nobody looks at the b!tchy person bragging about how they used to be disgusting but now are athletic and incredible and feels inspired. They look at someone like me, who tells them they are great for trying. That they are wonderful just as they are, but that wouldn't it be better to let your body work as it was designed to. Someone who is positive and loving, because even though I'm not fat anymore, I'm still on this journey.

    I'm not bragging, I'm being honest. Try it sometime. Honesty is VERY different from having no filter.


    Everything I say on the internet behind a screen is also how i would talk in person-I am no different.
    So if I say Im a fat git on here I have already said it to myself and others in real life.

    While I understand what most of the people on this thread are trying to convey and can even see their point - I think the basic issue is the posts are about the person posting them not you or anyone else. I feel that I am a fat disgusting cow. That does not mean I think someone else of equal weight and height is - but that is what runs through my head. There is no other way for me to say it - no I don't think I resemble a whale - I am a whale. I can't put it into a nice neat package for anyone else on this forum when I can't put it into a nice neat package for myself. If I ever get to the point where I can post before and after pictures - I can't put a nice neat spin on it because there isn't one from my point of view. And that is just what it is my point of view, my post, etc. If you dislike my wording then please feel free to not look but don't take offense - it is MY post, MY life, MY thoughts, MY feelings.

    Ditto on that.

    I am totally honest to myself, its how my whole family is even with each other. we call a spade a spade. Its not that I dont have a filter i just dont like BS. I will be more tactful with more delicate types as i dont want to hurt anyones feelings but with myself its no holds barred.
    I dont see anything wrong with that. Just because i want call call myself a Weeble or a fatty at 150Lbs that doesnt mean i would look at someone twice my size and think the same of them. In fact like someone else has already mentioned, My mum is a lot bigger than me and she has the most amazing smile with her long black hair and green eyes she is the most beautiful person I know, but you ask her and she will say of herself she is a big fat blubber-guts!
  • cordianet
    cordianet Posts: 534 Member
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    I didn't just FEEL like I was. I was! My body fat was over 50%. I WAS A FAT, LAZY, PATHETIC BLOB. Period.

    Get over it. I didn't call you fat. I am talking about ME. I used the first person there^. I was disgustingly obese, and then I woke up (thank God). I'm now trying to correct it.

    As I said above: everyone who comes here has obviously realized that they need to change. Otherwise, they wouldn't be here!

    I certainly don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I tend to agree: if I didn't hate what I'd become, I probably wouldn't be here. I am who I am and I had definitely become a "FAT, LAZY, PATHETIC BLOB" too. (Heck I still am, but I'm getting better every day.) :happy: There is no sugar-coating this. Sometimes the truth hurts and I believe the truth is healthy, especially if it helps motivate change.
  • sheila569
    sheila569 Posts: 269 Member
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    OH no.. Here we go...

    Was thinking the same thing. I feel like I'm lisening to my 14 year old.

    If you don't like the post, if it bothers you... don't read it. I understand that to some the words may be offensive, and to others they couldn't care less. But regardless... you have a choice on whether or not to read it.
  • sheila569
    sheila569 Posts: 269 Member
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    I didn't just FEEL like I was. I was! My body fat was over 50%. I WAS A FAT, LAZY, PATHETIC BLOB. Period.

    Get over it. I didn't call you fat. I am talking about ME. I used the first person there^. I was disgustingly obese, and then I woke up (thank God). I'm now trying to correct it.

    As I said above: everyone who comes here has obviously realized that they need to change. Otherwise, they wouldn't be here!

    I certainly don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I tend to agree: if I didn't hate what I'd become, I probably wouldn't be here. I am who I am and I had definitely become a "FAT, LAZY, PATHETIC BLOB" too. (Heck I still am, but I'm getting better every day.) :happy: There is no sugar-coating this. Sometimes the truth hurts and I believe the truth is healthy, especially if it helps motivate change.
    :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
  • tajmel
    tajmel Posts: 401 Member
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    I get it now... you want the award for most annoying catch phrase ever right?

    Literally lol.
  • kaylageserick
    kaylageserick Posts: 79 Member
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    Hmm sounds too politically correct to me, sorry. If someone doesn't like me referring to my formerly disgusting self then I guess they can cry in their tub of ice cream. :D

    this is hilarious.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    Why do I feel like the OP just put me back in those therapy groups where you weren't allowed to say certain things lest you upset another member?

    Fact of the matter is when people make those threads, it's about THEM. They look back at their old weight and hate it, it's why they chose to lose in the first place. That being said they're given every right to say they looked ugly or they were a porker. It's more of them owning up to what they really were than insults. To me it's better to insult yourself and then DO something about it than whine and sit on your duff.

    If someone honestly gets offended because, right at that moment, they are the "porker" stage then I'm sorry you have some thin skin. You're getting offended by something that has nothing to do with you while you're doing what that person did--doing something about it. Life isn't politically correct, fluffy-soft pillows, and cutesy wordings to cradle everyone. If you're mad that they're insulting the body type/weight you're currently at even though it's not about you, go work out. Make that part of your determination to get healthy and in better shape so that you're no longer angry about being similar to someone's "before" picture.
  • imondrugz
    imondrugz Posts: 154
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    Instead of arguing over here go hit the gym or go for a walk!! Stop wasting your time it's god damn precious Jesus.....
  • NostalgicMuse
    NostalgicMuse Posts: 340 Member
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    I'm not a super active member on MFP but I am a lurker and I use the tools daily. I noticed a trend in the forums, especially before and after type posts, where members refer to their "before" self as "disgusting" "big fat blob" "skinny fat" whatever.

    While you think you're only insulting yourself, by doing this you insult other members at different parts of their journeys. I for one would kill to be "skinny fat" and there are probably some members on here who would love to be the weight of your "before" start weight. Or they are proud to be at that weight now.

    My point is, try to be mindful of your words. How you perceive yourself at any weight can greatly effect others. Support yourself at every stage and you're indirectly supporting others. "I was unhappy/unhealthy at this weight..." "I wasn't who I knew I could be..." "I was determined to get back to the old me..." sounds so much more uplifting than "this photo was back when I was a gross fatty."

    We're all walking the same path, so choose to be kind. That includes to yourself ;)

    I just don't agree.... If I want to call my "Before" bod a slob, that's my prerogative. If my before self looks similar, has similar measurements to anyone else's current/ before/ future self, my comments ARE NOT directed at/ or about them. I didn't like the body I was living in. I'm not going to PRAISE it by any means. HOWEVER.... my before body may be someone's ideal body and may be fan-fricken-tastic to them. GOOD FOR THEM! It's not where I want to live.

    Just don't like someone telling me, or suggesting- that I choose my words wisely-- when I'm talking about ME. I'm not on a path, or a journey. I'm on a MISSION... It's nice to choose nice words. For me, I gotta get mean about this, or I'll keep getting NO WHERE.

    Thanks for your concern about my vision of myself, my former self and any comments I make about myself affecting others. I'm sure they'll get over it.
  • NostalgicMuse
    NostalgicMuse Posts: 340 Member
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    Seriously Lkoblara? That was pretty uncalled for. You just said earlier that you respect other people's opinions and want to be positive and uplifting and inspirational.

    Guess that only applies when you're trying to make people feel bad about who they are by saying they're not positive enough.

    Perhaps YOU should filter yourself and tone it down a little bit.


    LOL it was a joke. Telling someone to "suck it up" isn't helpful. I get that some people think that what they say about themselves doesn't effect anyone else. Fine. So if I want to be positive I can't have a sense of humor? And clearly I am not trying to make anyone "feel bad" for not being positive. Just wanted to bring a different point of view to those who might not realize and would want to be more mindful.

    Sorry if the joke offended... I've seen MANY a sarcastic response on MFP. I don't think being positive, uplifting and inspirational is exclusive from having a sense of humor.
    And yet you're getting defensive, as is your "humor". If this is to be a constructive conversation, it might be helpful to try to see someone's point about it.
  • NostalgicMuse
    NostalgicMuse Posts: 340 Member
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    Maybe Stuart's words can help you. Look in the mirror and repeat: "I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!"

    *finding my mirror for the mantra*
  • kaylageserick
    kaylageserick Posts: 79 Member
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    :smile:
    Why do I feel like the OP just put me back in those therapy groups where you weren't allowed to say certain things lest you upset another member?

    Fact of the matter is when people make those threads, it's about THEM. They look back at their old weight and hate it, it's why they chose to lose in the first place. That being said they're given every right to say they looked ugly or they were a porker. It's more of them owning up to what they really were than insults. To me it's better to insult yourself and then DO something about it than whine and sit on your duff.

    If someone honestly gets offended because, right at that moment, they are the "porker" stage then I'm sorry you have some thin skin. You're getting offended by something that has nothing to do with you while you're doing what that person did--doing something about it. Life isn't politically correct, fluffy-soft pillows, and cutesy wordings to cradle everyone. If you're mad that they're insulting the body type/weight you're currently at even though it's not about you, go work out. Make that part of your determination to get healthy and in better shape so that you're no longer angry about being similar to someone's "before" picture.

    YES! AGREED!
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    ...Just don't like someone telling me, or suggesting- that I choose my words wisely-- when I'm talking about ME. I'm not on a path, or a journey. I'm on a MISSION... It's nice to choose nice words. For me, I gotta get mean about this, or I'll keep getting NO WHERE.

    Thanks for your concern about my vision of myself, my former self and any comments I make about myself affecting others. I'm sure they'll get over it.

    :drinker:
  • happyfeetrebel1
    happyfeetrebel1 Posts: 1,005 Member
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    LOL..I saw 2 success stories in the past 2 days that I'd KILL to be their BEFORE picture!

    Not saying they don't rock it now...but I'd trade to the before body in a heartbeat :)
  • Roger8086
    Roger8086 Posts: 16
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    Regardless of how people treat themselves, I hope everyone here can find it in their hearts to be kind to each other.
  • blu_diva
    blu_diva Posts: 25
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    i see very fit people who are still not happy with their bodies so i think a large part of it (esp for women) has to do with how we're conditioned to think about ourselves. i work hard not to let myself get in that mindset because it's self-defeating for me, but if it's a motivator for someone else to each their own.

    just don't tell me what you think i should do about *my* body, because believe you me, many people have given me their unsolicited opinions over the years and i find it incredibly rude!
  • buzzcogs
    buzzcogs Posts: 296 Member
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    I agree! A little fun-poking at oneself is okay once in a while, but it's good that we remind ourselves that being fit doesn't make you a "good person", being a "good person" makes you a "good person". Being fit just enables you to enjoy it more!
    Here's to our collective health whatever weight we decide is our healthy weight. And also here's to loving ourselves whatever point we are at in the weight-loss journey.

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