Phone call at work = upset me

vicky1804
vicky1804 Posts: 320 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hi all,
I work as a receptionist and someone put their name down a while ago for something we are running.
The sessions tomorrow so as usual I started ringing round last week to confirm who is and is not coming so we know number as we are providing a creche for the children.
We can only have 16 children as we have staff members sitting exams that day.

I tried calling a mam 3 times to confirm and when she rang back we had no creche places left.

She mad and in simple terms called me stupid, saying I dont have two brain cells to rub together and that im nothing more that a receptionist.

I can only do what im asked to do. I dont run the creche or sessions or do the rota's I just call around. The messenger so to speak.

Im really shocked and for some reason this has really upset me. I keep welling up and crying and im not sure why. My work collugues are not happy with they way the person treated me but our centre manager is on annual leave at the moment.

Sorry dont know why I posted but I cant call my partner as he is a sleep after night shift and talking to him calms me down.

Thanks for reading
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Replies

  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    If I was all upset over some cranky woman on the phone calling me names, I'd assume pms. If it happened every day to me, I'd assume job burnout, time to quit and find a work environment minus the verbal abuse.
  • sgoldman328
    sgoldman328 Posts: 379 Member
    You poor thing! You didn't deserve that at all. People can be so cruel sometimes! I'm sorry you had to deal with that!!






    http://collegecookingandironchefamerica.blogspot.com/
  • Charliebarleymo
    Charliebarleymo Posts: 97
    Don't let someone else's bad mood and attitude spoil your day. :flowerforyou:
  • LazyDaise
    LazyDaise Posts: 48 Member
    That is unacceptable. Here in the UK we have sign in banks and post offices etc saying that verbal abuse will not be tolerated, people are just doing their job. Perhaps there is a way she can have privileges taken away?

    Lol - just noticed you are in the UK. Wait until the manager is back and report the woman.
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
    Don't let someone else's bad mood and attitude spoil your day. :flowerforyou:


    ^^^^ ditto

    i get yelled out quite often for things that are completely out of my control ... just the job i do when your "stuck" in the middle
  • AquaFitQueen
    AquaFitQueen Posts: 218 Member
    It could just be that she caught you on a bad (emotional/hormonal) day. Or she could be having a nightmare of a day with no one else to shout at but an innocent person over the phone.

    You may be *just* a receptionist, but in this economy highly educated people are taking min wage jobs in shops and stressful jobs in call centres. She doesn't know ****e about you. She is just trying to shift the blame. If childcare is that important to her she should have returned the call.

    You did nothing wrong. Have a good cry and let it out of your system, but at the end of the day, she is the one in the wrong. I worked in a call centre and it is amazing the things people try to blame you for.
  • MessyLittlePanda
    MessyLittlePanda Posts: 213 Member
    Chances are, she was upset or angry herself about something and took it out on you, because you were the bearer of bad news.

    The way she behaved reflects far more about her than it does about you - feel sorry for her because she clearly does not know how to treat people nicely, karma is a beyatch and more often than not, it catches up with people who treat others like rubbish.

    Hold your head up, it wasn't your fault, these things happen, and it might be that later on she regrets speaking to you that way.
  • RoseThePenguin
    RoseThePenguin Posts: 100 Member
    I work in a call centre and I have to deal with people like that every day. You just have to take everything with a pinch of salt. After a while you become an expert at shrugging things off. You just need to remind them that you're doing your job and it's not ok for them to direct their anger at you because you can only go so far to help them and making you upset or angry isn't going to make you want to do it.
  • madamepsychosis
    madamepsychosis Posts: 472 Member
    I feel you girl, I currently work two jobs. One is as a retail assistant, one as a barmaid and waitress. In both of these, people are often quick to shoot the messenger. If an item of clothing isn't available in the size they need, if we've run out of the food they want, as the person telling them this, you're the one that gets the blame, even if it's not your fault. It sucks, but it's part of the territory. Shake it off and remember that THEY'RE the one with the problem, not you.
  • katejenkins1
    katejenkins1 Posts: 210 Member
    I've worked in Market Research and Sales. People can be real a holes. When I first started I would get upset when people acted that way, but (i hate to say it) you get used to it. I get yelled at several times a month by someone who didn't do their job and they expect me to bend over. I don't. If it happens again smile while they fuss, it will give you more strength to deal with it and the other person will hear in your voice that they have no affect on you.
    And I would def address it with your manager when they are back in town.

    Good luck!
  • Maggie821
    Maggie821 Posts: 55 Member
    Unfortunately, you will just have to shrug it off - and I know that's not easy! I let things like that eat away at me, trying to figure out if I could have done something different. Even when I know I didn't do anything wrong!

    That said, if you tried her three times, then you did all you could. She may have just been too busy to return the call, but if that's the case, no matter how much she wanted to be involved, perhaps she is just too busy too handle it right now. God works in strange ways, you know????
  • androidgal
    androidgal Posts: 46 Member
    It was her fault not yours....but it was easier for her to blame you than herself......You might just be extra sensitive some people are....I am and often feel the same and I get shouted at a lot face to face and over the phone as I work for the police so often get people shouting and swearing at you.......REMEMBER ITS NOT YOU ITS HER SO IT IS HER PROBLEM..... Try not to dwell on it....or hold onto the feelings of anger you probably feel......you are also entitled to feel upset.......just relax and try and let go of the feelings....let them out .....you did amazing well not to shout back and thats a big credit to you!! If i were your manager I would expect a written appology from this woman after her outburst......or drop her off the client list......maybe she will call back and appologise herself..........BIGHUGS......
  • vicky1804
    vicky1804 Posts: 320 Member
    Thank you everyone.

    (I am sensative-as people mentioned) Iv been in my job nearly a year and its the first time anyone has reacted like this towards me.I think it was more shock than anything.

    Iv already emailed my boss so she will see it upon her return. I dont think she will be stopped from coming to the centre but I have a feeling she probably wont come along much more anyway.
    Her point was I should have known she was in the centre on Thursday and confirmed then. Everyone signs in with me but we have on average 35-40 mums signing in with 1-2 children each. How am I suppose to remember that many names.
    I didnt even see the waiting list until after the session had finished anyway.

    As it happens there is now a space available but I have refused to call her back. I am going to get the lady who does the rota etc to call later when she is back.

    Thank you again everyone, I spent a year with sever depression, anixity and feeling like I was worth crap. Me and my partner have worked hard this last year to get ourselves where we are , we moved 260 miles away from home,now planning a wedding and im completing an NVQ Level 3 as well.

    Im not stupid and apart from her I enjoy my job and the people who come the centre.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    i get told off all the time, not as much as my coworkers cause i am extra patient with people, but still, i am literally paid to be treated like crap

    what helps me is that i know it isn't about me

    in the future just inform them of the reason there are no places left, let her know she will be informed if any other spots open or events happen, apologize for the inconvenience, and if she is still rude ask her what she would like to happen as there are no spots left

    usually that shows them ur hands are tied, they pause for a moment and then stfu lol
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    it really wasn't about you, so cheer up
  • PJ64
    PJ64 Posts: 866 Member
    I find the "Hold" button works wonders :)
  • basillowe66
    basillowe66 Posts: 432 Member
    Someone calls like that and you don't know what kind of day they've had. Try to get over it and realize that something triggered her outbust, not that it was right, but she may have spent the rest of the day really feeling bad over what she did. We all make mistakes and it is wrong to take it out on innocent people, so just feel sorry for her and realize she was REALLY having a bad day!!!

    Basil
  • vicky1804
    vicky1804 Posts: 320 Member
    in the future just inform them of the reason there are no places left, let her know she will be informed if any other spots open or events happen, apologize for the inconvenience, and if she is still rude ask her what she would like to happen as there are no spots left

    usually that shows them ur hands are tied, they pause for a moment and then stfu lol

    I tried this, I tried explaining that I will speak to someone and call her back, that we only have limited number because of staff shortage, I apogised. She said I was upsetting her on purpose which I explained im not im just doing what Iv been asked but she kept interrupting and going on and on so eventually I just stopped talking and let her rant and rant. Then the phone went quiet i quickly presumed she hung up so i put the phone down
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    When this happens to me, and it is amazing how many times people take their anger out on people who have no control over a situation, I ask them to repeat what they just said so that I can write it down. Or I tell them I was interrupted by some one walking up to the desk and I don't believe I understood what they were saying.
  • Diyah13
    Diyah13 Posts: 76 Member
    I'm an administrative assistant, and I can understand what you're going through. It's hard not to take a harsh criticism personally--especially when it doesn't belong to you. I'm not sure why people equate receptionist with lack of thought (maybe television?). I find that as an administrative assistant. It couldn't be further from the truth.

    Take heart in knowing you set up the session(s) with your usual thoroughness and professionalism. This person was definitely out of line. Then, go spend some time with friends and family. It usually helps me when I do that--sort of builds me back up again.

    Good luck.
  • tinksmommy2006
    tinksmommy2006 Posts: 575
    You have no reason to be upset hun. this women is the one without any brain cells. She was stupid for not picking up the phone. she is just mad that she was an idiot and missed out on something and she took it out on you. sucks that she did it, but don't fret...she is the idiot..not you. and please don't ever think of your self as "just a receptionist". I would love to have your job...been trying to get into that position for years. I love to work with people....even her kind ;)
  • Killing_Perfection
    Killing_Perfection Posts: 79 Member
    That's sadly what happens all too often when you work with people. I work in a supermarket for some extra money and the things I've seen in these past almost five years.... *shakes head* Just last week someone grabbed some of our salads, ripped it into shreds, spread it all around the supermarket and confronted with my boss, called her a lowly ***** and all kinds of nice things. She even wanted to beat her up with her umbrella - I mean, what the hell?! I don't understand why people have to behave like that, I never insult others just because I'm having a nasty day, especially when they're just doing their job. Hell, the first day of my job someone actually managed to insult me to the point I started crying, and I'm by no means someone easily offended or whatever....

    It's a pity, and I can understand why you're so upset, but there's just no changing some people.
  • BVannillie
    BVannillie Posts: 140
    I've worked in customer-facing jobs since I was 16 and people are rude all the time. I don't want to sound mean but you really need a thick skin when you are dealing with the public, no matter if it's face to face or over the phone. People are rude, and they will take their issues out on you simply because they can. I got fired from a job once because a man was so rude to me and I burst into tears and they said it wasn't professional, which is true. You have to do what I, and everyone else has to do, man up.

    I don't want to make you feel bad, I just want to give you advice that will actually work. Do you want your boss thinking you cant make a phone call without getting upset? Because unfortunately most bosses won't sympathise with you. And try and think of a time when maybe you've snapped at someone for reasons which weren't to do with them. We've all done it.

    Just remember that once you put the phone down you don't have to deal with them any more, they are not your problem. What they say has no bearing on your life.
  • JSheehy1965
    JSheehy1965 Posts: 404
    Every day I have people yelling at me over the phone. It's not because I'm stupid, it's because they can't control their tempers. If part of your job is to phone out (part of my job entails calling our insurance customers a couple of days before their policies cancel for non-payment and giving them a courtesy reminder) then unfortunately, in today's world, you have to develop a thick skin. Sad, but that's how it is today. People love to take their frustrations/embarrassment/forgetfulness etc out on the poor sap whose job it is to remind them of something.
  • bestbeth1
    bestbeth1 Posts: 6
    No1 should have that kind of power over YOUR emotions. :)
  • TheArmadillo
    TheArmadillo Posts: 299 Member
    I'm a receptionist and sometimes people are horrible.
    What I have found helped was going on a 'handling aggressive people' course.
    Finding out what steps my organisation allowed/encouraged me to take - e.g 2 warnings about their language/aggression and then you can hang up on them.
    Although a certain amount of bad behaviour is expected there is a limit to what you should be expected to take.
    At the time I find taking a 5 minute toilet break to calm down helps.

    I sympathise, I find what upsets me depends on how sensitive I am feeling rather than how bad they are. Also you do toughen up over time.

    Its not nice though.
  • TheDreadPirateRoberts
    TheDreadPirateRoberts Posts: 225 Member
    it really wasn't about you, so cheer up

    Try and remember this. The person involved screwed up and didnt want to take responsibility and wanted to blame you, probably in the hope they can get a place by doing so. As you have done, I'd report it and I would not call her back. If they contacted me, I'd say that you've reported her to your manager as you are not here to take that sort of abuse and that you will not discuss it further until your manager returns.

    The world is full of pillucks sadly.
  • vicky1804
    vicky1804 Posts: 320 Member
    Thats the thing, its a community centre where I work and its a very people friendly, happy caring environment and so far in a year everyone who attends the centre understands this. We do all sorts of things. The course we are running is a baby first aid free of charge, we have summer and christmas parties with food, bouncy castles entertainment etc which again we dont charge for.
    We will always help out to be best of our abilities and im the same if i can do something that will maybe help someone out even a little then I will.
    In a year she is the first person who has ever acted like that because of this I dont know our companies policy on agressive people either face 2 face or on the phone, because we rarely get them.

    I know I need a thick skin working with the public and I previously worked in a call centre cold calling so iv been there before etc, I think the main problem was that I was not at all prepared for it to happen and didnt know if I was able to give this lady a warning about her language and put the phone down or not.

    I will be asking my boss about this on her return.
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
    unfortunately some people are just mean to be mean. They have bad attitudes and like to complain and put others down. I am sorry that you had to go through this, and I hope it doesnt ruin your whole day.
  • vicky1804
    vicky1804 Posts: 320 Member
    What i really want to do is go for a run, but that will have to wait until after work. Think i will go down by the river, as its nice, quiet and relaxing for me x

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