Mind Over Matter

bejuled74
bejuled74 Posts: 191 Member
in Motivation and Support
We have all figured out this journey is 95% mental and 5% diet and exercise. I have not been able to successfully control the mental part. I am in a constant battle with myself...I will do great for a while, then one thing will throw me off and I'm right back into my old bad habbits. Does anyone have any tips on conquering the demons in your head? I've thought about going to a therapist, but I'm saving that as a last resort...I think I should be able to be in control of myself without anyone else telling me how. I really don't know why I think this since I haven't been able to do it in 37 years, but I do...any help would be appreciated!

Replies

  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    Don't let a slip up throw you off track. There will be slip ups or splurge days or weddings or birthday, etc. No need to feel ANY guilt over this, and it doesn't mean it's time to give up. Simply get right back on track, right away.

    You need to come up with a lifestyle you can live with for the long term. Examine your diet and exercise and figure out if there is something there that is unsustainable. Whatever you're doing needs to be sustainable FOREVER. Does that sound scary? If so, then something's not quite right. Adjust it and make it right. Then just live your life the way you designed it.
  • Pheonix2012
    Pheonix2012 Posts: 61 Member
    YES! It's a total head game with me. Because I actually LOVE working out and healthy foods. (Note: I also love bad foods)
    I am constantly making excuses for myself, or doing the old " I'll start again tomorrow" routine. This week I'm doing Ok. I'm trying just to take it one step and one good decision at a time. I'm not going to even think about "tomorrow" because there will ALWAYS be a tomorrow. :grumble:
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
    This may sound completely nuts, but I've taken to talking back to my demons, and speaking to myself as I would a good friend which is blunt and loving.

    When you're in a good place write out what you'd say to a friend who is in the bad place you get to. Remind yourself of all the good things about yourself, and all your successes and the like so you can go back and read them when you start to struggle.

    It may not help, but I doubt it could hurt.
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,271 Member
    Don't let a slip up throw you off track. There will be slip ups or splurge days or weddings or birthday, etc. No need to feel ANY guilt over this, and it doesn't mean it's time to give up. Simply get right back on track, right away.

    You need to come up with a lifestyle you can live with for the long term. Examine your diet and exercise and figure out if there is something there that is unsustainable. Whatever you're doing needs to be sustainable FOREVER. Does that sound scary? If so, then something's not quite right. Adjust it and make it right. Then just live your life the way you designed it.

    Taso is spot on... when he says right a way he means the next time you eat not the next day. dont let a birthday party thorw you off. Yes life happens ...Let it happen otherwise you will hate your choices.

    But dont let your brain trick you into thiking..."Oh I had a piece of cake today is a lost cause." Its Not!!! That cake is 400 calories but if you blow the rest of the day those calories are lost they were calories you didnt have to consume you chose unwisely. 400 cals of cake is easy to get back 1500 extra calories IS HARD to get back. Dont blow off the whole day....Always choose wisely.
  • HorganMom3
    HorganMom3 Posts: 63 Member
    I hear ya! It's hard isn't it? In a way this journey is awesome, like no other journey. The ups and downs lift you to a place like no other, and yet it also sucks like no other!!

    Take it day by day. Don't beat yourself up too hard when you fall down; stand up, brush yourself off, and move on. <- sounds a bit silly, like something you'd say to a little one, but that's exactly where I got it from! I tell my 18 month old that all the time, and if she can fall face first, knees skinned, to brushing herself off and moving on so can I!!

    Find what works for you... if something feels a bit uncomfortable, keep trying it a bit longer and if it's not the way to go then move on to something else. I have been here about 3 months and am still discovering things, and I have friends here who are going on a year who are still discovering things. It's a life journey, not a weekend stay.

    FInd words and people that motivate you. If you hear or see a saying or statement that uplifts you then write it down. Put up post its with little motivating words to keep you pushing. Find that driving force and stick with it. I review a list of reasons (kids, family, etc), a list of inspirational words, and I even look at pictures of females fitness models to push me to go for what they have!

    You can do this!! We are here for you!
  • bejuled74
    bejuled74 Posts: 191 Member
    Thanks for all of your support. I realize I just can't let things get me distracted from my goal. I will keep pushing forward!
  • MiniMichelle
    MiniMichelle Posts: 801 Member
    Taso and MD offered up some really great stuff to you.... Really think about what they said. :smile:
  • Cornn
    Cornn Posts: 11
    When I get a big urge to snack on bad things or go over my calorie limit, I usually just pop in a piece of stride gum and that usually takes my mind off of my cravings for a while, and if I'm still craving really badly I will try to throw myself into a project or something that will keep me busy. Hope this helps a little!
  • high5girl
    high5girl Posts: 90 Member
    It is definitely a mental game that you play with yourself. I do it every single day! BUT - you have to remember why you are on this journey for a healthier life. Something has to click inside of you, almost like a wake up call. Until you make your mind up that you are in control, and you can do this, it might be harder. The first couple weeks were the hardest for me but I kept going then found after I started losing a little weight that I could totally do this! I know you can too - just don't give up!! Good luck and feel free to add me :)
  • jhunt90
    jhunt90 Posts: 78
    The mentality is so hard! The way I try to get through something hard is by telling myself "Just to this point..." Like when I'm exercising and feel like stopping I always say "Just to that next 5 minute interval..." And by the time I get to that I say it again to the next one. I try doing that everyday with my healthy eating when I feel like giving up "Just til the end of this day..." And like right now, my goal is absolutely no sugar in any way until my grandparents anniversary, then I can have a SMALL piece of cake, the idea is just to set small goals that help get to the bigger goal.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    you should have made the title mind over platter haha
  • tacrac
    tacrac Posts: 1 Member
    So today is my first "Day".!!!!!!:smile:
  • Jessicajoyus
    Jessicajoyus Posts: 9 Member
    I have actually wrote things on note cards that bother me the most when i'm not comfortable with my weight. id: wearing shorts, playing with my god children, putting on a swimming suit, the feeling of not finding anything to wear. I post them all over. On my fridge and my insides of my cupboards. Even foods that my boyfriend keeps in the house that are a temptation I label. Sounds crazy but it really does help.
  • cinsuccess
    cinsuccess Posts: 333 Member
    I have incorporated some "splurges" into my planning. I've been very honest that I'll never give up sweets completely so I use them as rewards that I have to earn with exercise or eating something super healthy. For example, I'm allowed a piece of cake if I've burned at least 2500 calories that week or if I know I'm going to a wedding or birthday party I cut my daily calories by 100-250 each day for the 5 days before the event so the extra calories on that day still net to within my weekly goals.

    It is mental. Sometimes you need to shift the way you think about certain things to encourage greater success. I also agree with Taso and MD... don't throw away a whole day for one bad choice.
  • lavieboheme1229
    lavieboheme1229 Posts: 448 Member
    Like my profile says "One Day, One Meal, One Food decision at a time"

    Just because my breakfast sucked doesn't mean my lunch has to. Just because my snack sucked doesn't mean the next thing I eat has to. Just because I had a bite of a cookie doesn't mean I need to have 30.

    Compartmentalize the goal. One bite, one step, one minute, one day at a time. Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
    my blog on creating your very own will power pill:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/H_Factor/view/recipe-for-a-will-power-pill-for-help-with-the-mental-part-of-the-journey-155978


    and, this may not be exactly what you're looking for, but here's a blog I wrote about my experience with intermittent fasting...I focus on the mental part of it. Frankly, once you can convince yourself that you can go without food for 24 hours...AND NOT FRET ABOUT IT....you will understand what its like to have control over your mind ;)

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/H_Factor/view/my-experience-with-intermittent-fasting-175218
  • xSinfulUndeadx
    xSinfulUndeadx Posts: 42
    Hey, I know how you feel. I've been overweight most of my life and have been wanting to lose weight since freshman year of highschool. Motivation was always the hardest part for me and also I was self conscious. But now i am 21 and have learned to love myself. I stopped focusing on what I thought were imperfections and started thinking about what I liked about my body and myself. Now i am much more confident even though I am still over weight. It also helps having a husband who loves my body no matter what. Just try staying positive and maybe keep pictures or quotes or stories that inspire you. Talk to your friends and family about it because having support is great. Maybe try to find a workout buddy. Even if you slip up don't discourage yourself. Tell yourself "Tomorrow is a new day and I will do better and keep trying."

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