Does this ever happen to you?

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  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    I don't think anyone means "hey, you were really fat and ugly before"... I think they are just noticing that you have put forth an effort and are losing weight. My neighbor has lost a lot of weight and when I see her, I tell her she looks great, not because I thought she was ugly before, but because she has really put forth an effort and I see an amazing transformation. Would you feel better if people didn't notice or comment on your weightloss?

    This. Think about it the other way around. What if you had a friend that was obese and then finally turned their life around and started losing the weight? You would be proud of them and say, "wow, you look great" because you're happy for them and their HARD work.

    It's not easy to lose weight so I think when people do it, others are just in awe of the accomplishment and want to tell you so.

    Isn't this what we are here for? I think most of us put in our "reasons to lose weight" some variation on "to look good naked." I know heath is a big reason too, but don't you want people to not just say but to actually think that "you look great?"
  • HartJames
    HartJames Posts: 789 Member
    I had lost over 100 pounds and this one lady I know said that I really looked the same and that she never saw me as very overweight. Huh?

    I also had 2 occasions of people completely flabbergasted because they literally didn't recognize me.

    What felt the best though was noticing a woman out the corner of my eye while I was shopping, I eventually looked up and it took a moment to realize it was my own reflection in the stores many mirrors.
  • findfan4ever
    findfan4ever Posts: 153 Member
    Sometimes it annoys me. I have one coworker in particular who often asks me if I'm losing weight. I usually say no. I think maybe it's the clothing I might be wearing that day because I really haven't put true effort into losing weight until recently. It's nice when people do notice, but I do the same thing as you thought-wise.

    If the co-worker is a guy, this could be his way of showing he likes you and is a way of flirting with you. I hope its not a condescending jerkoff though.
  • direwolfprincess
    direwolfprincess Posts: 261 Member
    Maybe you need a paradigm shift. You are taking compliments and turning them into negative scrutiny. Perhaps they are well meaning or truly just off handed comments but try to use them as positive encouragement.
    Even for the most cruel and ill meaning ones who at one point did think of you so negatively now they are probably second guessing themselves on their judgment as you have made positive action toward change.

    I say great for you! Be gentle with yourself and try to refocus your internal response. You are doing great, a noticeable physical difference is wonderful thing.

    And I too feel sometimes as if silently they are pointing out the physical flaws I still have. As in "Wow, you have really lost weight. Are you going to work on muscle tone too?" Mostly because once they say it out loud they feel the need to continue analyzing my figure silently making me even more self conscious of the progress I still need to take.
  • direwolfprincess
    direwolfprincess Posts: 261 Member
    I had lost over 100 pounds and this one lady I know said that I really looked the same and that she never saw me as very overweight. Huh?

    I also had 2 occasions of people completely flabbergasted because they literally didn't recognize me.

    What felt the best though was noticing a woman out the corner of my eye while I was shopping, I eventually looked up and it took a moment to realize it was my own reflection in the stores many mirrors.

    ^^ That is awesome! Congratulations!
  • monkeynumber100
    monkeynumber100 Posts: 134 Member
    Thanks for all the great comments! I am gonna take a moment to ay amature therapist on myself. My dad has always been obsessed with my weight. He goes overboard with compliments when its down and subtly (and not so) brings up the subject when my weight is up. He has done it since I was in middle school and that has made me feel judged and contributed to a low self esteem. He always meant well, but it always felt bad to me. I finally asked him to quit bringing it up good or bad. So far so good.

    Also...with all the great comments, all of you should join my posse!!! Feel free to add me if you want the same awesome support you are giving me here!
  • JamesterCK
    JamesterCK Posts: 109 Member
    Mostly I like when people notice I'm losing weight; it helps me know my hard work is paying off. The best advice I can give is to not dwell too much on what you think people really mean when they say those things, and just take the comments at face value
  • LoserKat2012
    LoserKat2012 Posts: 22
    I have let several people know I have changed my lifestyle and I want to be a better and fit person. I am ok with people saying it looks like you are losing some weight but when they start over doing the comments I get a little disturbed!
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    I really can't relate. I know I'm fat and I know that everyone else sees my fat. It's just a fact. When I hit my goal weight, I wouldn't even blink if someone said to me, "wow! you were a fat fvck but now you look great!" because it's the truth. To me it's black and white and there's no way around it until the fat is gone.

    same here, but anyone who's close to me knows my situation and knows WHY I'm fat. Not to mention having 2 kids in a year and a half doesn't help... but the kids aren't the reason. It's the hypothyroid issue I have going undiagnosed for over 4 years, and the fact my family went through a house fire and that alone caused and still causes a lot of stress. I've gained 40 lbs just from after the fire.
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