question for people who have been fat all their life

I have been a big girl as long as I can remember. I am the thinnest I have been in at least 10 years or more and at 221 size 16/18 I still feel bigger than everyone else and really no different than when I was a whopping 306. I guess I will see how it feels when I get smaller than this.

I've been overweight most of my life, I can remember being in 1st grade and weighing 115. And later on in second and third grade when we had feild day playing tug of war. I was always the anchor. Embarrasing to say the very least.

Upon entering highschool I weighed about 245 +/- I was so tired of it. Always the fat friend...unable to play on the playground with my friends because I was so scared I'd not be able to climb on the monkey bars. So I lost weight by the time I was in 11th grade the lowest weight in my adultish life was 188 I'm only 5'6" but it felt amazing.

I didn't really gain weight back until I had my son when I was about 21-22 and ballooned back to 253 ...it sucked.

Now that my little monster is 15 months old, I'm borederline 200-198 and I feel so much better!! I don't want to be so thin that I'm just a shadow of my former self.. I'm trying to get to about 160...

But growing up heavy is very difficult being made fun of, by classmates, " friends" and family...is the worst part of it....You don't realize just how big you were until you see old photos...I literally want to burn all the pictures of myself as a child...
You can't really cope with it, because it makes you wanna eat more and just not care. Like you feel you're not worth being healthy because your own family isn't as supportive as you need. Telling you to go outside and not letting you come back in, is not support...I remember my dad trying to make my brother and I eat soup for dinner to help..and making us go walk afterschool..it wasn't fun. But I know he was trying to do what was right for us...eventually a child grows up and decides that they have to take charge of themselves..and that's what we're all doing. You can't force anyone to become healthy. But it will come...it does to everyone. Good luck to everyone in their goals and future.

I love this thread. ^_^

I've always been overweight. In middle school I had some eating disorder-type problems, and obsessed over being skinny. I could never get there, because I never treated my body right. Food was the enemy and I was losing the war. It was so hard. Especially with such thin friends. And every year I'd look back and say "How did I think I was fat? I looked great! NOW I am fat.." -- I'd say that every year. Until I was 185 and realized-- hey. Wait, no-- now I really am fat. I'm back to 165 (haven't been here in two years) and my goal is to be 145. I've never been allowed to have a scale, so I can't tell you how much I weighed in school.

But now food is not the enemy-- it is a beautiful delicious thing that keeps me healthy. I don't punish myself anymore, I just get over the humps and get back to exercising. I don't shy from cameras or feel that drop in your gut when you see a thin girl. I don't feel that way, because I know I can do it, and I can do it the healthy way.

I've always been over weight, I was the biggest one of three girls in the family, but I was the most athletic. In high school I was 154. I had to hear from my mom and my sister. They referred to me as chubby and they would always suggest that I try to lose weight, it really affected how I felt about myself and how I felt people felt about me. It was tough though, because , like I said, I was the most athletic. So, I didn't even know how to lose more weight on top of the constant exercise. I guess it had to do with what I was eating. Nasty school food and the delicious food that my mom would make us. In my final year of high school, I was in a car accident. In the hospital, I weighed 182. Once I got out of the hospital I was depressed and I didn't do anything. I finally got a job that I had to walk to and take the bus everywhere. I weighed about 172. I started working more and more, so I bought myself a car. The weight piled on then. I weighed 190, then 200. I recently found MFP and I weighed myself and did my measurements. I was up to 225. I was ashamed of myself and I wanted to be back to where I can comfortably work and exercise without pain in my knees and becoming out of breath. I am now down to 210, but I am still going to lose this weight. I wish I were back to the weight I was in High School., I will no longer let anyone tell me that I should do this or that. I think I just need to be healthy and happy.

First of all, congrats on the loss, you must feel amazing

I'm been a fatty forever, but always proportionally, like never more or less, and I've maintained my starting weight since I stopped growing (which was a while ago because I didn't get very tall either, lol).

It sucked always being the fat friend but a long time ago I had accepted that this is my size and shape and I learned to embrace it. I know how to dress myself and not dress myself, I know when I look good and when i don't. I ate way too much and didn't eat. I'd always hoped some day i would find the motivation to start working out and eating everything healthy, etc.

But honestly, MFP was the one thing that started me on this journey. I'd recently bought a new iPod and I just for FUN I was looking at calorie counter apps. I found this and the rest is history.

I have my great days and my terrible days but this is actually WORKING for me, and very well! And it's an amazing feeling! I'm down 16 lbs in about 2 months, I'm at about 177 now, and i haven't weighed this little since 9th grade I think. Everybody on this site who's been posting success stories and photos, and offering support, and giving advice, and pep-talks when I have a bad day or week... I think i wouldn't be able to do it without this community. And I see these girls who were my size and now they're healthy and gorgeous and I think "that could be ME, that WILL be me, because this is fail-proof!".. and it's amazing and exciting and I am sooooo stoked!!!

I have been at least "chubby" most of my life. Granted, looking back now at the weight I was when kids started calling me fat, I laugh at it because I wasn't that big, I was taller and developed very early, not really fat. But, I've had the mentality that I was fat my whole life.
How did I cope? When I was younger I realized the little girls didn't want to be my friend, so I was a tomboy. Somehow it was okay to be bigger than the other kids, if you were a tomboy or something. I played more with the boys and just told myself I couldn't be like the girls because I was too fat. I don't remember a time ever, when I felt pretty or girly. Other than by my husband and my Dad, never got called pretty.
As I got older, I started turning to food because it started to hurt more that I wasn't like everyone else and no one wanted to accept me or be a friend. Sadly around 14 I'd say is when I started binging really badly. I was still active enough though that I didn't get really big, I was 30-40 lbs overweight, but it wasn't until I was about 16-17 that the binging turned worse and I gained badly. Everyone was dating and being teenagers and I was fat and alone.
So in a word, I never dealt with it. I just hid it or ate it away. =/

Ive been fat ever sense i was in school, ive coped with it never cared, my friends accepted me for who i was, never had problems with being in a relationship, never had a hard time meeting people. i guess i was a easy going person, but i want to change that i want people to see the real me. and the real me is hidden some where under this layer of awesome.

i was really tall in elementary, 5'3 i knew i grew faster then most kids.. and i was bigger
during middle school i was 5'8.. again got a lil chubbier
high school starting off i was 5'11... got a bit chunky
senior year 6'1... hit the threshold of 290lbs
started college (2years now) now i'm at 321lbs

just a simple layout of my growth trough out the years... and damn looking back i should have cared sooner but i was a kid/teenager i was having fun.. now its time to grow up.

Feeling this! Bump for later

I lost 86lbs back in 2000-2001. I had people (MEN!) staring at me like never before; it really creeped me out. My mom even pointed it out to me (i was single) and I missed my protective layer.

I always had friends that never judged me by my weight- I was active in high school "for a big girl." So I never paid attention, every knew me for who I was on the inside. So when I started to get attention... it freaked me out!!

I'm now married. I'm looking forward to feeling that lean healthy body weight on these bones again. THAT'S what it is about- health, not looks. I want to be in less pain, more agile, and living a fuller life.

Much success to with this transformation. Sometimes the mental one is just as tough- I think slow & steady is the way to do it; adjust gradually.

YOU CAN DO IT!!

I went from a fairly lanky kid to a heavy pre-teen practically overnight. I literally do not remember when things changed, but by 11 I was about 5'4" (I'm only 5'6" now), and I know that at 13, I was buying size 14 pants. I now wear a size 12, having lost about 40lbs from my highest weight, so I am actually smaller now than I have ever been!

I don't remember every really suffering because of my weight, and was never bullied for it, but I did start my first attempts at dieting at 14.

While I'm only part of the way to my goal, I already find that my mental picture of myself is larger than my actual body. It will be interesting to see, as I go on, how my brain "shrinks" to accommodate my new smaller body (or doesn't).

I always felt I was overweight during my entire childhood and adolescence but I recently was rifling through old family photographs and I must admit I was pretty darn adorable. I think my parents only ever took photos of me when I was experiencing a growth spurt. By tenth grade, I stopped growing (5 foot 6 inch male--ouch) in height, but grew in width. In high school, I was generally well liked and got the occasional ribbing about my size, but nothing too bad. I was scholastically successful and an all-around "nice guy." I consider my high school friends my closest friends.

First year of university, and I just blew it up. My parents got me on Jenny Craig. I was furious but also obedient--I followed the plan, lost the weight, and did not speak to my parents for two months. I got a gym membership and exercised quite vigorously. But I was still angry. When my parents would make me a (calorically rich) meal that they knew I liked, I would viciously say, "You told me to lose the weight and I did. Now, you want me to gain the weight back by eating that? No, thanks."

I lost the weight, but I still felt "fat." I never looked at myself in the mirror (and avoided it when I got out of the shower). I still wore my "fat clothes" because money was tight and even when I bought new clothes, I preferred it baggy.

At the same time, I did feel more energetic. I was going out all the time, I was studying great, and met some great people. At the same time, I was never "hot." Yeah, I lost the weight, but I was now a skinny, short kid. I liked cardio--lifting weights was excruciatingly boring to me.

I maintained all through undergrad. Then I went to law school (aka, the worst years of my life) and I virtually gained all the weight back (but not quite). When I gained the weight back, I thought I was a huge failure. Looking back now, I am amazed I maintained my weight as long as I did given how inconsistent a university student's schedule could be.

Once I graduated law school, I lost practically all the weight. A 9-5 job where once you leave the office you can actually have a life allowed me to focus on my fitness and health goals much more easily. I already had the tools to lose the weight--I now had the environment that would enable me to utilize those tools to my advantage.

Not that I haven't yo-yo'd in ensuing years. I did go up--having actual money in my wallet allowed me to enjoy life a little too much. But ever since I moved out of my parents and bought my own place, I now weigh less than I ever had and have maintained for almost 2 years.

More than the actual weight loss, I feel comfortable in my skin. I am in my 30s, and I finally believe I "look good." I am buying clothes that actually fit my frame (although you will never see me in something skin tight--or anything sleeveless). I have a good relationship with my parents now--I will allow them to feed me without getting all huffy (they will always want to make me food).

I'm now a skinny, short youngish/oldish male, but I am getting more attention now. Maybe because I'm not being comparedto musclebound twentysomethings. Now, it seems all my "skinny" friends from high school and university and my relatives are having their own weight problems. Which is another issue altogether.

I know I will never be an "intuitive" eater. I will always have to plan what and when I will eat. That loss of spontaneity is something I regret when I see, say, my "naturally skinny" sister try out all these great restaurants and meals.

I am angry at myself for making my weight the reason that I didn't do more with my life than I could've. I think society pushes this view that fat people are less deserving of success, and I internalized it.

bump

I was never technically "overweight," but I have always been fat. I think it's definitely something that's warped my social life--and for me, that's the hardest part. Maybe it's just because high school wasn't that long ago for me, but I still hate how everyone treated me.

I've been fat since birth.
All pictures of me I was round.
I don't ever think I was at a healthy weight at any given time.

I don't know how I dealt with it then or now.
I guess since I'm so likeable it doesn't bother me?

Some days I own my size other days I cry about it.
It was really bad in JHS when I heard people talking about me behind my back.
Or from HS on, when every guy you have a crush with thinks of you as a sister because you're fat.