Had a breakdown today...

Alexstrasza
Alexstrasza Posts: 619 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've been feeling so overwhelmed and burnout lately. All the calorie counting and the worrying, trying to fit in excercise and then just trying to get the motivation to go. My kids have been stressing me out which makes me want to just shut down and not do anything.

I started getting scared, and worried. I feel like I'm going to fail. I think that if I just quit then there is no chance to fail after trying so hard.
I'm afraid of disappointing my husband. We started this journey together and he's been giving it 110%.

I just need some motivation and encouragement I guess.

Replies

  • janrarey
    janrarey Posts: 10
    One day at a time. Today was a bad one, doesn't mean that tomorrow will be bad as well. Exercise always helps with the stress, and i know I always feel better after exercising. I have quit smoking and started taking anti-depressents so both of those things are suppose to add weight. I am determined to get through the next 3 months without gaining weight. Whatever goal you set for yourself I am certain you can do it, you already have the hardest job, being a parent. Weight loss is much easier than that.
  • wholenewme03
    wholenewme03 Posts: 95 Member
    I really think it's OK and normal to feel like that every once in a while. We always hear about being healthy having its good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks, two steps forward and one step back. You're in a little rut and you're probably just overanalyzing it. You can still take a few days and eat healthy without spending hours at the gym, or maybe take your children out for a bike ride or just to run around for a while. (It sounds like) you have a very supportive family. Don't let the past few days get you down! Reenergize and you'll get back in the swing of things :)
  • BackTatJIM
    BackTatJIM Posts: 1,140 Member
    Mind, body, and health are all interconnected. Stay positive and you will conquer your weight loss goals and everything else in life. If you think negative, negative things will come your way. You will get over your bad day and move on. Take a deep breath don't stress the calorie counting so much and enjoy your life. You will do just find, just try your best to keep a good attitude! Best wishes on your lifestyle change!
  • imlik
    imlik Posts: 64 Member
    20 pounds is amazing, and you should be proud you've lost that much :)

    Maybe it's the micromanaging that's making you nuts. Perhaps you could go a few days or a week without actually logging; just eat healthy foods (you've already learned healthy vs unhealthy) in healthy portions (which you've already learned my weighing and measuring) but just don't worry about logging it. Maybe log one thing a day, so you can keep up your streak. And exercise, but don't worry about logging that, either. Eat less, move more, right?

    Trying to lose weight with a family and added stress can be, well, stressful. Don't give up, though... you'll find your rhythm, and it'll become sustainable, and it'll get easier.
  • DianeG213
    DianeG213 Posts: 253
    Hang in there. One day at a time. You can do this. :flowerforyou:
  • Alexstrasza
    Alexstrasza Posts: 619 Member
    Thank you everyone. I really needed to hear that today. I'm trying my best and I know I should be proud to have lose 20 lbs. I've never lost weight like that before.

    I can do this, I just have to.
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,659 Member
    As I've read on these threads a million times ......

    WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP, REMEMBER WHY YOU STARTED !

    :heart:
  • MrsSexton2013
    MrsSexton2013 Posts: 98 Member
    We all have those days. All we can do is pick up and move on to the next day.. HUGS! Today sucks, tomorrow will be better!
  • toysbigkid
    toysbigkid Posts: 545 Member
    don't quit, that's something you would say to your child or a friend if they talked like that. You can do this, go to bed tonight, tomorrow wake up with a smile and head into the day, ease up a bit if you need to (on anything your doing) drink a cup of tea here and there (take more breaks) and look in the mirror, smile and say "I can do this no problem, move over hubby here I come" 120% ....Good luck!!!
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
    Dude. I baked & ate 1600+ calories worth of pecan shortbread last Sunday. Total crash & burn! It happens; don't beat yourself up.

    I will ask, though, how are your breakfasts? I had such a hard time getting the oomph to eat well & exercise, until I started doing my am protein shakes. I suddenly had so much more energy, it was SO much easier to talk myself into hopping on the elliptical (or whatever).
  • amanda_au2012
    amanda_au2012 Posts: 11
    Be proud of yourself that you lost 20 lbs! Congratulations! And if you had a bad day today, try not to stress too much! Just remember one day at a time!!!
  • lilpoindexter
    lilpoindexter Posts: 1,122 Member
    Hey, a setback every so often happens to the best of us. Don't let it get you down. Tomorrow you can start fresh.
  • cbbarge
    cbbarge Posts: 250 Member
    On this journey you don't have to be perfect. You just have to be better than you were. Ease up on yourself, make the good choices that you know you should make and you will succeed!!
  • Michellemtjpjt
    Michellemtjpjt Posts: 105
    I agree with everyone one day at a time, I am so stress that my chest hurt. Personal reasons and also no motivation at home. This site have been my motivation to get healthy. But take it one day at a time. Also stressing your self will stop the weight lost :) keep smiling :)
  • vllamas08
    vllamas08 Posts: 20 Member
    We all will have bad days. I used to do WW and they would always say "don't beat yourself up" . Meaning when we have a bad day (making bad food choices or not exercising) that doesn't mean we have to quit. This weight loss journey is not an all or nothing situation. We all are human and we will be knocked down (even if we're the ones who knock ourselves down) we can CHOOSE to get on track again. You showed great strength by recognizing your weakness and reaching out for help. You can do this!:smile:
  • ksun10
    ksun10 Posts: 76
    Stick with it girl. You've already lost 20 pounds!!! I'm sure you feel different- healthier, happier, more energy- than you did before you started. Find an anchor you can hold onto when the going gets tough.
  • lainey486
    lainey486 Posts: 10
    It is not about fitting in. You are exercising for you, maybe so you have more energy for your kids, or more energy to be intimate with your husband. But it is for you. No one truly fits in anyway, even the prettiest girl walking down the street feels like an oddball. You will succeed at your pace, at a rate your body can handle. So what if it takes you longer? You are doing it, which is better than the millions of people still sitting on their sofa eating potato chips. Losing weight isn't a one time thing, it is a lifetime commitment. once you reach your goal weight, then you have to maintain it, so don't lose weight because you want to lose weight, lose weight because you want to do something good for your body for the rest of your life. In that sense, reaching your goal becomes so much less the focus, which means you wont be nearly as discouraged. You have the rest of your life to lose weight, and sometimes you will gain, and sometimes you will lose, but what really matters is you are giving your body something it needs. The workout and the healthy eating is just as important to your body as getting a locked door, classical music, a glass of wine and a bubble bath is important for your sanity.
  • tcheryl
    tcheryl Posts: 70 Member
    sometimes you just feel like it sucks to have to worry, work so darn hard, not eat what you want and worry somemore!!!! but i like the quote when you feel like giving up, remember why you started. it's still going to suck but you KNOW you have to keep going.
    and don't you love that you can get SO much encouragement when you most need it?!
  • coreymo
    coreymo Posts: 25 Member
    I totally hear you! My husband and kids are wonderful, but they are all so demanding of my time and attention that I get very overwhelmed at times. You are not alone, that's for sure. Two things that I have to remind myself of often, but when I do them they really work:

    1. MAKE time to RELAX. Mommy time. Me time. For me, I take reallllllly looong showers.

    2. Plan the week's meals before grocery shopping and keep lists of meal and snack options on the fridge. I also keep a notepad on the fridge and write my calories there, then enter them in at the end of the day, once kids are tucked in and hubby is watching TV.

    (OK, 1 more thing that saves me):

    I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS keep a bag of organic baby carrots in the fridge and if I start freaking out or if I'm so hungry I'm going to eat the first thing in sight, I totally "binge" on baby carrots. It helps ease the moment, AND even if I eat the whole bag it's only like 150 calories.


    Hang in there! You can do this!!
  • HorseWithNoName27
    HorseWithNoName27 Posts: 188 Member
    Be proud of your success so far, and use that as motivation to continue. I bet you didn't think you could lose 20 pounds, did ya? Now look at where you are! If you keep on keepin' on, put that one foot in front of the other, you will be a step closer to your goal, each day you move forward. There will be bad days, like today, but there will be good days, too, and eventually, success. Do you plan ahead with the calorie counting? That may help to de-stress, maybe plan one or two days ahead so you have your meals all laid out and don't have to input the data each day. Try going for a brisk walk or two if you feel overwhelmed...it may help.

    Good luck, and don't give up!
  • 3ofmine
    3ofmine Posts: 136 Member
    I've been feeling so overwhelmed and burnout lately. All the calorie counting and the worrying, trying to fit in excercise and then just trying to get the motivation to go. My kids have been stressing me out which makes me want to just shut down and not do anything.

    I started getting scared, and worried. I feel like I'm going to fail. I think that if I just quit then there is no chance to fail after trying so hard.
    I'm afraid of disappointing my husband. We started this journey together and he's been giving it 110%.

    I just need some motivation and encouragement I guess.

    I don't know how old your kids are but mine are the same way..some days I just feel like I'm gonna go crazy..you know what when I have those I make them go with me and I RUN THEIR BUTTS OFF...It's fun and they complain the entire time...I say well if you learn to listen and do as your asked you could be trusted to play on the playground..until then you run with me :) I'm a mean mom! Try it out sometime if they are old enough...It might make you feel better.

    Angel
  • DrJanet98
    DrJanet98 Posts: 138 Member
    I started getting scared, and worried. I feel like I'm going to fail. I think that if I just quit then there is no chance to fail after trying so hard.
    I'm afraid of disappointing my husband. We started this journey together and he's been giving it 110%.

    First off, I looked at your diary, and you've been below your goal every day, sometimes by as many as 650 or 700 calories. You're running far too much of a deficit! The goal should be closer to your *average* calories.

    Each single day is not happening in a vacuum. You can be happy to be below goal for the day, but you need to make sure the average is close to your goal, and if you're below average sometimes, that means you *have* to be above goal sometimes, too. It's built into the system, and it's OK!

    Give yourself a break. There are plenty of studies that show that people who take a "day off" every now and then are more likely to keep losing and keep it off. I'm in a couple of clubs with food at their monthly meetings, so I relax my rules for those days. Often as not, I find that I've *lost* more weight afterwards.

    Do you have a smart phone or iPad? One of the things I love about the iPad version of MFP is that they give you a chart of your calorie counts for the whole week, including an average so you can see if you're above or below.

    I always try to be honest in my logging, even when I splurge, and it's reassuring to see that I can be over by hundreds of calories on a single day, and still end up below goal for the week.
  • Alexstrasza
    Alexstrasza Posts: 619 Member
    I started getting scared, and worried. I feel like I'm going to fail. I think that if I just quit then there is no chance to fail after trying so hard.
    I'm afraid of disappointing my husband. We started this journey together and he's been giving it 110%.

    First off, I looked at your diary, and you've been below your goal every day, sometimes by as many as 650 or 700 calories. You're running far too much of a deficit! The goal should be closer to your *average* calories.

    Each single day is not happening in a vacuum. You can be happy to be below goal for the day, but you need to make sure the average is close to your goal, and if you're below average sometimes, that means you *have* to be above goal sometimes, too. It's built into the system, and it's OK!

    Give yourself a break. There are plenty of studies that show that people who take a "day off" every now and then are more likely to keep losing and keep it off. I'm in a couple of clubs with food at their monthly meetings, so I relax my rules for those days. Often as not, I find that I've *lost* more weight afterwards.

    Do you have a smart phone or iPad? One of the things I love about the iPad version of MFP is that they give you a chart of your calorie counts for the whole week, including an average so you can see if you're above or below.

    I always try to be honest in my logging, even when I splurge, and it's reassuring to see that I can be over by hundreds of calories on a single day, and still end up below goal for the week.

    I know I've been under and I really shouldn't. My husband set the amount of calories for me through calculations he did using the ISSA calculations. It just seems like way too many calories. Other people around here are doing like 1800 or 1500 and I'm up in the 2k's.
    I know I should trust him though, he is a math genius.
  • GoalByFifty
    GoalByFifty Posts: 97 Member
    focus on the haves, and the have nots will disappear. it sounds like you're going through a lot and I'd be glad to be your friend...... "Worry looks around, sorry looks back, and faith looks up." Keep the faith!
  • GoalByFifty
    GoalByFifty Posts: 97 Member
    On this journey you don't have to be perfect. You just have to be better than you were. Ease up on yourself, make the good choices that you know you should make and you will succeed!!

    well said!!
  • ForTheWin88
    ForTheWin88 Posts: 9
    have a little faith in yourself. most people are capable of a lot more then they think.

    but, if you're starting to loose steam and feeling burnt out, i'd suggest giving yourself a few days off and letting your mind and body recover. the good news is that your husband is on board with you so "taking it easy" won't become a habit. you don't want to keep pushing where you'll just throw your hand up and say "f*** it".
  • kwin91
    kwin91 Posts: 128
    Everyday is a new day! Just remember all of the good things exercise will help you with. It lowers stress and makes you feel good! At least it does for me!

    I enjoy eating healthy so much now because I realized how bad those other foods were making me feel. So take it as I feel better when I eat good and not over eating as well, so why would you revert back to that!?!? That's what keeps me going.

    Also, the compliments I get too, because I never used to get compliment before I gained weight and obviously after!!
  • ALW65
    ALW65 Posts: 643 Member
    Been there for sure....You won't ever 'quit' because you know how important this is for you and for your family (the kids will learn by example from you and your husband). I didn't get to look at your diary, but if you're running too low you will certainly sabotage all your hard work. Be sure you're eating enough (including eating back exercise calories) to hit a total of 1200 minimum or you will likely have a harder time with this. Being higher on your calorie intake is fine if you are burning a lot through exercise, and especially if your doing any weight training. Maybe you can log accurately for two weeks, eat in the range your husband suggested, and see what your weight does. This will give you somewhat of an idea if you need to bump that number up or down based upon how your body works rather than the 'average' body.

    Best of luck!

    *Edited to add a saying I saw on here recently that really hit home for me - motivation is what gets you started, it's habit that keeps you going"

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