Advice? Cooking for a family on a diet

heatherfoster22 · July 2012

Hello everyone,

So I find my issue with losing weight is not usually exercising more, but my diet is the issue.

My husband and son are underweight and have been told by several doctors that they need to gain weight. The doctor told me that their meals need to be high in fats, carbs and protein. My husband has always been very skinny but 2 years ago he went through chemo and it made him go from 160lbs to 125lbs (5'10). My son is 2 and weighs 22 lbs. The doctor said he is naturally small but could use some extra weight as well.

This is a very difficult spot for me to be in as I need to lose weight (180lbs at 5'3) and they need to gain it for their health. I am a stay at home mom and cook breakfast, lunch and dinner for my family everyday.

So my question is, does anyone else have something like this going on? I am not going to lie, I like healthy foods, salads, etc. But we are on a limited income and cannot afford for me to eat anything different than my family nor can we take the chance that they would lose weight. It is frustrating to me because all I want is to lose the weight, but it seems kinda hopeless considering I have to feed them everything I should not have.

Any help or advice would be appreciated.

PRMinx · July 2012

Tough one. But I think you can manage this. I LOVE to cook and there are a ton of awesome recipes out there that are balanced and healthy - you just have to look for them.

A lot of your strategy will probably be reducing your portion size. But, there are a few thoughts:

1. If you are making eggs for breakfast, make them what they want and yourself just egg whites.
2. Oatmeal is great for everyone - and they can sprinkle raisins, brown sugar and nuts on it for extra fat and carbs.
3. Find protein heavy foods that won't break your diet like quinoa (buy in bulk and it's cheaper), beans, brown rice, barley.
4. Find fatty foods that won't break your diet like Parmesan, avocado and almonds.
5. Go heavy on the veggies. If you make a protein, a carb and a veggie for dinner, make more veggies than usual and fill your plate up mostly with them.
6. Let them have dessert for extra fat/carbs and resist the temptation.
7. I know you want to every meal to cater to all of you, but what if you took a weekend to make some healthy soups and stews for you and then freeze them for easy use during the week? Then you can make them their own dinner.
8. If you roast a chicken, take the white meat and give them the dark.

These are just off the top of my head....

juicy011 · July 2012

Wow, that's a tough situation your in. I'm sorry to hear about your hubby, but glad he's doing better.

I don't have many ideas for you, but maybe you can eat core meals that are healthy, like baked chicken with rice and broccoli. Leave the skin on the chicken for your hubby and son & maybe add some butter or cheese sauce to the broccoli for them, but not yours. Combine that with a salad and for your meal have chicken, broccoli and salad with a lowfat dressing while they eat baked chicken with skin on, rice (carb) and broccoli with cheese sauce which should give them enough calories.

There can be plenty of variations of this type of meal where the core meal is healthy, but healthy fat & calories can be added for your families portion. Hope this helps.

heatherfoster22 · July 2012

Wow guys, thank you so much. I think I am gong to try that. Sometimes the real issue is resisting eating what I make them. It almost feels like I eat like them to encourage them to eat more. It can be tough. Thank you everyone :P

caraiselite · July 2012

just cook normally. they can always add more butter, and eat more carbs.
just make sure the children eat their veggies too!

Dethea · July 2012

Supply things like full fat milk, butter, cheese, dressing and such for them, and have low fat options for yourself (skim milk, lighter dressings). Prepare meals as you normally would, but watch portion sizes for yourself. Or, supply one side that is higher calories for them, while you have a salad on the side.

I almost always prepare the same things for my son and I, but I will fill half of my plate with salad, while I make a small salad for him. I make sure to offer him everything, don't stress out if he doesn't eat his veggies (he prefers to eat fruit, so I usually offer both. Veggies for me, fruit for him.)

12skipafew99100 · July 2012

Tough one. But I think you can manage this. I LOVE to cook and there are a ton of awesome recipes out there that are balanced and healthy - you just have to look for them.

A lot of your strategy will probably be reducing your portion size. But, there are a few thoughts:

1. If you are making eggs for breakfast, make them what they want and yourself just egg whites.
2. Oatmeal is great for everyone - and they can sprinkle raisins, brown sugar and nuts on it for extra fat and carbs.
3. Find protein heavy foods that won't break your diet like quinoa (buy in bulk and it's cheaper), beans, brown rice, barley.
4. Find fatty foods that won't break your diet like Parmesan, avocado and almonds.
5. Go heavy on the veggies. If you make a protein, a carb and a veggie for dinner, make more veggies than usual and fill your plate up mostly with them.
6. Let them have dessert for extra fat/carbs and resist the temptation.
7. I know you want to every meal to cater to all of you, but what if you took a weekend to make some healthy soups and stews for you and then freeze them for easy use during the week? Then you can make them their own dinner.
8. If you roast a chicken, take the white meat and give them the dark.

These are just off the top of my head....

I just wanted to say BRILLIANT!

jkleon86 · July 2012

If you can handle low carb it seems that would be the way to go. they would have thier fats and protein along with thier carb, and you could be (once you got use to it ) be losing with the protien and and enjoy salads and veggies in moteration as well.

just my thought.

piesbd · July 2012

Whole milks, cheeses, other dairy are great options for them.

Also, nuts, avocados, pastas, are also really good options. I would not say to plan 2 different meals, but maybe slightly different preparations. Cook the bulk of it lower fat, then take out your portion and add some higher fat/calorie items to theirs.

Also, if you do eggs, give them the yolk for your white....

What a hard place to be in, but you can find tricks that work for you!

luvmyleo · July 2012

When my middle daughter was 1, her pediatrician was concerned about her being under weight as well. He had me add things to her food like butter, keep her on whole milk, full fat dressings, etc. I tried. She is now 6 and is still tiny. My 2 year old son is about to pass her up in weight! And she is still not a big eater. LOL.

So now here is what I do. I provide healthy, wholesome food for my peeps and let them eat according to how their body leads them too. I don't insist that they clean their plate (hello, fellow plate cleaners club members). I try to minimize processed foods. I don't have stuff like chips, cookies, candy etc in my house. Not that they don't ever get treats because they do. But treats are just that- a treat- not something that is part of the daily norm.

It is so hard when you have a family to nourish and everyone has different needs. I totally get that!

caraiselite · July 2012

If you can handle low carb it seems that would be the way to go. they would have thier fats and protein along with thier carb, and you could be (once you got use to it ) be losing with the protien and and enjoy salads and veggies in moteration as well.

just my thought.

i like this!

summer8it · July 2012

I'm in pretty much the same boat. I need to limit my calories to maintain my weight, but my husband is underweight (6'3" and only 145 on a good day) and our growing 9-year-old son has inherited his father's scrawny build.

Most of the time, the only meal that we all share is dinner. It's easy enough to grab different items for breakfast and lunch, so I tend to try to keep those meals light so that I have plenty of calories to spare for dinner.

A few things I've learned over my months of dieting:

--Portions are key. I've had to train myself to give the smallest portion to myself, NOT to my son. If I make pasta, for instance, I limit myself to a 2-3oz. portion, but give my husband a big bowl.

--Salad is my friend. Luckily, we all like to eat salad, but if I need to limit my calories at dinner I can serve myself just salad and protein, and give the boys salad, protein and a carb.

--Having things "on the side" is ideal. Things like gravy, shredded cheese, etc. can just be put on the table in serving dishes so that they can use as much as they want.

--They have their own snacks, I have mine. With their fast metabolisms, my guys need to eat often, and the between-meal snacking that's a dieter's nightmare is a perfect plan for them. I keep a pantry shelf stocked with granola bars, cookies, tortilla chips, and other high-cal things that they can easily grab and munch, and I've trained myself to ignore it. But I always keep my own snacks on hand, things like almonds, hummus, and carrots, that won't break the calorie bank.

Bentley2718 · July 2012

I deal with this as well, although in my case, my tall skinny husband is not in any danger medically--but at the same time, he does not need to lose any weight. He has much higher energy needs than I do, plus, he's a somewhat finicky eater, so I've had to learn to work with this. Paige682 made some great suggestions, some of mine may sound familiar. (I especially like her oatmeal suggestion--it's cheap, yummy, healthy, and flexible.)

1) I make high carb foods (quinoa, brown rice, etc.) for both of us, but I limit myself to .5-1 cup, while I pile as much as he will eat on to his plate.
2) I often top his food (pasta, veggies) with cheese.
3) Nut butter. My husband eats it on crackers, fruit, and even spoons (this isn't recommend for children as it's a choking hazard, but adults can usually do it safely).
4) Buy them higher fat content milk (assuming you can afford to purchase it this way).
5) When my husband isn't watching, I put extra olive oil in his food.
6) Eggs for protein--if you eat eggs, give them the yolks, and eat just the whites.
7) Beans are great, cheap, and nutritious--but they're also not something most people will over-eat, so you're probably safe.
8) Find high calorie snacks they like that you don't really care for.

A few specific ideas. I make spaghetti with either spinach or broccoli. I'll have a lot of veggies and sauce, with a little pasta, and give him a lot more pasta (plus veggies), with some cheese on top if we have it. I'll also make us individual quesedillas, I'll make a whole one for him, and half of one for me (I also use daiya fake cheese for mine, but not for diet reasons).

The key for me is that I eat everything I make for him, I either limit my intake or figure out how to make sure he gets extra calories.

RejoicingL · July 2012

You can still make the same foods, just make yours a tad lower cal. You can use things like peanut butter, coconut oil, and butter as spereads or add-ins for them, and you use lighter options. I'm thinking on toast, over veggies, in rice, oatmeal, etc.

Serve them carbs with their meals like bread and pasta, and you have either a smaller serving or none.

Also an evening treat of ice cream is good for little ones who need to gain weight. And snacks like cheese, cereal or granola bars, etc.

If you save the pricier low cal options for yourself only, they wouldn't cost that much more in the long run.

(ETA: how about using lots of calorie-burning excersize for a boost to your daily net also)

PRMinx · July 2012

Tough one. But I think you can manage this. I LOVE to cook and there are a ton of awesome recipes out there that are balanced and healthy - you just have to look for them.

A lot of your strategy will probably be reducing your portion size. But, there are a few thoughts:

1. If you are making eggs for breakfast, make them what they want and yourself just egg whites.
2. Oatmeal is great for everyone - and they can sprinkle raisins, brown sugar and nuts on it for extra fat and carbs.
3. Find protein heavy foods that won't break your diet like quinoa (buy in bulk and it's cheaper), beans, brown rice, barley.
4. Find fatty foods that won't break your diet like Parmesan, avocado and almonds.
5. Go heavy on the veggies. If you make a protein, a carb and a veggie for dinner, make more veggies than usual and fill your plate up mostly with them.
6. Let them have dessert for extra fat/carbs and resist the temptation.
7. I know you want to every meal to cater to all of you, but what if you took a weekend to make some healthy soups and stews for you and then freeze them for easy use during the week? Then you can make them their own dinner.
8. If you roast a chicken, take the white meat and give them the dark.

These are just off the top of my head....

I just wanted to say BRILLIANT!

Thank you :-)

PRMinx · July 2012

Thanks for the kind words!

And this made me laugh out loud. Ha!

5) When my husband isn't watching, I put extra olive oil in his food.

efarrar13 · July 2012

How about just load cheese, extra carbs, larger portions on their plates? You eat smaller amount of carbs and don't dump all the extra stuff on it?

heatherfoster22 · July 2012

Great advice everyone

Thank you so much. I def will start giving them more fattening things on top of their food. I suppose I didn't think about that haha

lyttlewon · July 2012

I change my portion sizes or some of the individual components. Like last night we had chicken parmigiana and the kids and my husband ate pasta with their marinara sauce, I had chicken, sauce and salad. I don't really cook "low fat", I avoid frying a lot of the time but I use oil and butter. Dinner is usually a huge portion of my daily calories. I control my calories in other meals I do not share with the family.

macx2mommy · July 2012

I am in a similar boat. My kids are both underweight, my husband is trying to bulk up, and I am trying to lose, though I'm not stay at home.

I try to make things that can be 'assembled' differently.

Pasta - I will make Shirtaki noodles or nothing, and give regula pasta to the kids. Their's is tossed in cheese and oil olive, then the sauce. The sauce has meat and veggies.
Chicken - they will eat the dark meat and skin, I eat chicken breast
Add butter, olive oil, sauces after. I have my veggies plain, they will have it with sauce
Make meals that have all the components seperate like a steak, potatoes, veggies, etc. I will have a small slice of the steak, plain potatoes, plain veggies, kids get everything loaded up.
Soups and sandwiches. Just put in different fillings.
Fajitas, I eat just the filling, with Salsa, add advocado and everything else for them.

Think about how you make meals that are assembled, or modulized, that's what I do.

efarrar13 · July 2012

Same here. I am the cook in the house. I just adapt what I make them for myself. Turkey burger no bun, more veggies for me, etc. On the weekends I will BBQ some chicken or lean grass fed beef and put it in the fridge for those days the kids want pizza or something like that.

Advice? Cooking for a family on a diet

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