What have I become

x_Shruti_x
x_Shruti_x Posts: 21 Member
edited October 19 in Motivation and Support
I don't usually write in the community but I thought that I should be open about recognising the fact that sometimes it's a though I'm losing weight to show others that I too can look good. It should be more about me and how I want to feel on the inside but I feel so shallow when I get a feeling of satisfaction that I am closer to looking 'good'. I want to show my mum (who, in her defence, is being supportive) that I'm more that the fat kid that she has labelled me as. Another motivation is that I want to rub it in the face of those such as my super fit ex (relatively amicable break up and he obviously found me attractive pre weightloss) in a 'look at me now' kind of way. I hate that losing weight and improving myself has turned me into a superficial calorie counting machine who only wants to be able to buy her first bikini at the age of 20.
I've been a bit emotional lately as I don't have a great relationship with my parents as far as personal issues go. There are a lot of reasons for this such as the generation gap etc but mainly cultural (I am a second generation British born Indian) and I feel so alone in my own house when I'm back for the holidays.
Sorry for dredging up boring emotional sludge but I needed somewhere to let it out

Replies

  • Carolyn_79
    Carolyn_79 Posts: 935 Member
    I don't this those reasons are that uncommon. I'm sure you're also doing it for yourself. I think a lot of us have those people in our lives that we want to flaunt our weight-loss to for a multitude of reasons. At the end of the day try reminding yourself that you're also doing it for yourself, look at how far you've come, and remind yourself of how this is helping you live a better life.
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
    Theres nothing wrong with wanting to look good or be healthy. Wanting your body to look good may be a little superficial, but who doesnt want their body to look good.

    The stressing over it isnt worth it though, get out the house, go for a walk, a run. Dont worry so much about calories and just eat healthily and well (this is coming from somone who will cook a steak in ghee, but hey, not all fat is bad). Remember to smile :)
  • roch1972
    roch1972 Posts: 113 Member
    Sounds like you're dealing with a lot. In addition to transforming your body you may want to see a professional to talk about the issues you are dealing with so that you can transform within as well. Feeling alone in your own home is never a good thing and you need support. For myself, I am trying to change my body and mind (MDP+therapy). But I agree with the other poster too. You've come this far and you can do it! Best of luck to you. Add me as a friend if you'd like.
  • x_Shruti_x
    x_Shruti_x Posts: 21 Member
    Thanks for the support guys :) it's given me a boost :)
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Keep your main motivation noble and use these "wrong reasons" just to get yourself to workout when you dont wanna. Problem fixed!
  • MOMfit4life
    MOMfit4life Posts: 46 Member
    I'm proud of you for posting heartfelt challenges. Community is all about lifting others up! YOU are a beautiful person, inside as as outward. It's imperative that you believe that. Know that YOU are worth healthy choices and change. I'm new, but am cheering for you! Feel free to add me as a friend
  • janiceclark08
    janiceclark08 Posts: 1,341 Member
    Dont give yourself a reason to backslide, you can look better and prove parents wrong, plus improve your health and life.
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