am i drinking too much??

Assassins_Angel
Assassins_Angel Posts: 329
in Food and Nutrition
last night i had my very first argument with my Fiancé over my drinking as i had 4 drinks last night due to my injuries (check my blog for full details)

now ill give you a bit of a back ground on myself so that this makes sense... i have been with Mark for 7 and a half years now and moved in with him almost a year ago now, before i moved i worked unsociable hours and chatted to him online at night til bedtime so i was not much of a drinker i could probably handle a couple before id have had enough!!

Now as i have emigrated from the UK to the Netherlands i am unfamiliar with the language and am currently out of work and dont need to go to bed so early as i dont have early starts.

Since i moved we decided to drink over the weekends as he only works weekdays, i'd recently discovered whiskey and i love it i would normally drink about 3 50ml drinks with cola before ive had enough but its started to creep a little to where i drank 6 in one night! I recently changed my eating habits an on the advise of my dad (who drinks alot more than me) told me to spread it out through the week and stop having so many over the weekend, Mark and i discussed it and agreed to have one a day.

last weekend i had a few more than one and we both agreed that i wouldnt drink again til friday as id had so much, but i injured myself and had 4 drinks the day after the accident to try and ease the pain, Mark got angry with me as he told me to just have 2 but let me have more as he could see how much pain i was in but said a comment to me that upset me... he said he "didnt want me ending up like my dad" my dad drank a litre bottle of whiskey a night every night until recently and that touched a nerve.

Now i DO NOT want to you blame Mark for it as he is only concerned for my health, but im concerned i may be drinking too much and not realise it! i dont drink because im depressed or anything i just really enjoy my whiskey!

i would appreciate any feedback (again leave mark out of it)

thankyou :)
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Replies

  • Lulubear511
    Lulubear511 Posts: 29
    Thank you for your post. As for my opinion, I think that when you feel the need to "discuss" with your fiance on how many drinks you should have sounds like there could be a little problem. When you said your "dad (who drinks a lot more than me) told me to spread it out through the week and stop having so many over the weekend" kind of made me go "hmm." Also when you said
    "last weekend i had a few more than one and we both agreed that i wouldnt drink again til friday as id had so much, but i injured myself and had 4 drinks the day after the accident to try and ease the pain" it sounds like you are looking for excuses to drink (not saying that you were not in pain, but it looks like a justification to drink more)


    I am not judging or blaming. Alcoholism is in my family so I am aware of some of the signs. To be honest, you wouldn't be here asking this question if you yourself didn't see a problem arising. I hope that others on here will be able to add more to this.
  • Assassins_Angel
    Assassins_Angel Posts: 329
    no you are right i do worry that i am drinking too much, i do sometimes think i have a drinking problem :( it sucks a little as i dont want to give it up as i love whiskey so much
  • HisShadow
    HisShadow Posts: 59 Member
    If you're worried about it, it's a problem. I was a binge drinker (just about every weekend) until I got my fatty liver diagnosis. Cutting out those empty calories has undoubtedly helped my weight loss.
  • mrsleftybrown
    mrsleftybrown Posts: 42
    Think about why you are drinking. I know that the reason why you are drinking right now is to numb the pain of the accident. But do you always drink to numb something. If that is the case then there may be a problem. My husband's family are huge drinkers and I have to keep an eye on those things. I am a social drinker and have to keep an eye on my drinking when I am out with friends because it can quickly get out of control. I will take a shot here and a shot there and before I know it I am up to 8 shots of tequila. Now I only do that maybe 2 times a year. But if I hang out with the right people I will drink. So am I a social drinker, very much so. I sounds like you are more of a quiet drinker. Just think about why you are drinking.
  • Spanaval
    Spanaval Posts: 1,200 Member
    If you're wondering whether you're drinking too much, your family/SO thinks you're drinking too much, you lack control around booze and that leads to arguments with your SO, you have a drinking problem. This might be one of those things where you need to quit cold turkey (look up AA). It is exceedingly rare for people with drinking problems to be able to have one now and then.

    ETA: Alcohol is not a pain reliever. Check with your physician if you're in that much pain.
  • delilah47
    delilah47 Posts: 1,658
    If you have to ask if you are drinking too much, you probably are. You know it and that's why you ask. You want to see if other people can justify it for you, then you don't have to feel guilty.
  • Lulubear511
    Lulubear511 Posts: 29
    no you are right i do worry that i am drinking too much, i do sometimes think i have a drinking problem :( it sucks a little as i dont want to give it up as i love whiskey so much

    I think it's admirable that you are recognizing a problem that has the ability to completely spiral out of control.
  • MandyMcAwesome
    MandyMcAwesome Posts: 109 Member
    I struggle a lot with my drinking. I know that it's counterproductive to my weight loss, but I still do it. I know it's counterproductive to basically everything when it's not done socially, but I still do it.

    To me, if you are having a conversation with a love one about it, it is time to really consider what's going on. Not only are they noticing it, but they think it's not ok.

    I dont go to meetings, but when I feel I am a little out of control, I check out some of the blogs out there and I remind myself to get a grip. This is a really good one: http://www.drinkingdiaries.com/

    Feel free to friend me if you ever want to chat.
  • Chairless
    Chairless Posts: 583 Member
    From the description given you have a problem, act on this and take steps to gradually but severely restrict your consumption and then stop. Never look back.
  • Sox90716
    Sox90716 Posts: 976 Member
    You're drinking too much.
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    We can't tell you if you have a problem or not. Only you nkow this.
    If you think you're drinking too much (which you clearly said you did) then you are drinking too much.
  • Assassins_Angel
    Assassins_Angel Posts: 329
    Thanks everyone! This is all great information, though a couple of you asked why i drink or if i do it to numb something other than pian ... I dont i just love my whiskey :)
  • LinzCurlyQ
    LinzCurlyQ Posts: 94 Member
    Only you can decide if you are drinking too much, but if you feel the need to ask the question then it is obviously bothering you. Here are some things to think about:

    Are you drinking for the taste or the buzz? If the later, you may have a problem.
    Can you take one drink of a drink and then put it down?
    Can you stop at one drink?

    There are alcoholism checklists out there that help you evaluate your situation.
  • HeavyLiftGirl
    HeavyLiftGirl Posts: 1,267 Member
    It sounds to me that you are on the verge of becoming an alcoholic. I lived with an alcoholic stepfather, and I have seen how much it can destroy a family and cause relationship issues.
    In my opinion-- I would make an appt with your doctor, and try to get some help. This includes having them eventually get you on a regular pain med (after you stop drinking) instead of using whiskey as your remedy. It just isn't healthy.

    I wish you the best.
  • KyleB65
    KyleB65 Posts: 1,196 Member
    As a person who grew up with an alcoholic parent and almost went down that road myself.

    I will give you the same advice my Doctor gave me : If you can live without it, then do so.

    I still have a drink or two on rare occasions (I might hit 6 drinks per year on a big year) - Holiday meals & special gatherings with friends & family. But aside from this, I have been clean & sober for the better part of 15 years.

    Alcohol was a poison that had a very large & destructive place in my life. Going with out and choosing a different path for my self , my wife and my children was the best decision I have ever made.

    Best of luck sorting out how you will proceed.
  • Rohnic
    Rohnic Posts: 82
    You already took a giant step in the right direction, because you are talking about it. Find a local organisation (there are more than just AA) and talk to a professional. I wish you all the best on your journey!
    PS: Add me if you like, i'm a great listener :-)
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
    It's been my experience as a recovered alcoholic with 12+ years in recovery that if you have to consciously "control" how much or how often you drink, then you've already lost control. Also, if you have to ask if you're drinking too much then you probably are. Please don't be offended...just my own personal experience as a functioning alcoholic and years of sponsoring girls who came into AA...
  • jolarocknrolla
    jolarocknrolla Posts: 236 Member
    I love whiskey, LOVE IT, and i like it best neat. Having said that, I drink it maybe once a week or less, and I limit myself to one double.

    I do that because it's very easy for my drinking to get to be unmanageable (for *me* i cannot speak for anyone else). It does sound like you are finding excuses to drink, you probably know it's true which is why you made this post. If you want advice, i'd go back to drinking only on weekends, and limit how much you drink ... you don't want to go down that slippery slope. If you can't limit yourself, if you find yourself not being able to control how much you drink, i say just stop all together.

    I wish you luck!
  • Assassins_Angel
    Assassins_Angel Posts: 329
    Only you can decide if you are drinking too much, but if you feel the need to ask the question then it is obviously bothering you. Here are some things to think about:

    Are you drinking for the taste or the buzz? If the later, you may have a problem.
    Can you take one drink of a drink and then put it down?
    Can you stop at one drink?

    There are alcoholism checklists out there that help you evaluate your situation.

    I drink for the taste
    I can stop at one and i can go without completely if i want

    I am concidering stopping i dont want to argue with my SO
  • krawl78
    krawl78 Posts: 115 Member
    If you are using pain as an excuse to drink, I definitely think it's become a problem for you. I'm not judging here, it's just my opinion. I also come from a family of alcoholics and do understand the signs. Good luck. I hope you manage to fight the demons.
  • Katbaran
    Katbaran Posts: 605 Member
    Short answer: Yes.

    If you two are arguing about or "discussing" how much you should drink or have had to drink, then yes, it's a problem.
  • Weighinginwithmy02
    Weighinginwithmy02 Posts: 369 Member
    I have alcoholism on both sides of my family and for this reason, I choose not to drink on a regular basis, meaning really only on special occasions. I do not want to end up having to ask myself "am I drinking too much". It seems like you're there...

    What would your quality of life/relationship be without alcohol? Is it worth the fear and anxiety that it seems to be causing you? Do you love whiskey so much that not drinking it through the week and every weekend would upset you? You're the only one who can answer these questions honestly. What a bunch of people who are only reading your posts can do is give their insight but the truth, you already know it in your head. (and not saying that the truth is "yes, you're drinking too much" or "no, you're just nervous about it becoming a habit".

    I did want to add though, you shouldn't be using alcohol as a pain reliever and it does raise a red flag that this is what you turned to when you were in pain. They make real medications for such a thing. They sell ibuprofen over the counter in the Netherlands, that is a much better alternative than alcohol (and better pain reliever than paracetamol, which is what the doctors will tell you to take in the NL). You also should NOT be drinking if you are taking paracetamol or ibuprophen. Your liver cannot handle processing both.
  • Assassins_Angel
    Assassins_Angel Posts: 329
    Thankyou so much everyone! It helps having the opinion of an outsider think it resonates deeper from strangers, so thankyou i am going to stop
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
    I struggle a lot with my drinking. I know that it's counterproductive to my weight loss, but I still do it. I know it's counterproductive to basically everything when it's not done socially, but I still do it.

    To me, if you are having a conversation with a love one about it, it is time to really consider what's going on. Not only are they noticing it, but they think it's not ok.

    I dont go to meetings, but when I feel I am a little out of control, I check out some of the blogs out there and I remind myself to get a grip. This is a really good one: http://www.drinkingdiaries.com/

    Feel free to friend me if you ever want to chat.

    I too struggled a lot trying to control my drinking and for me the only thing that stopped me was complete abstinence. Having a substance control my thought process and my life was enough...plus where I allowed alcohol to take me. My last drunk was June 16, 2000 and I'm at a point that I don't miss it and don't think about it. But if I were to put a drop of booze into my body now I would re-awaken the beast. I got enough problems...and now I get to eat more! lol
  • BVannillie
    BVannillie Posts: 140
    Personally I feel having one drink a night is more then you should be having, so more then one a night is a problem. I think everyone has already said it, but I agree that you have a problem. Alcoholism isn't one of these things that just goes away, it only gets worse and the more you try to justify it to yourself the worse trouble you will be in. I suggest going to see a Doctor as soon as you can, don't make excuses just do it and tell them everything. Again, don't make excuses for yourself, be brutally honest, the moment you start lying to yourself is the moment you start destroying your life.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    i had 4 drinks last night due to my injuries
    This is what I'd be concerned with. If you're drinking to ease pain, it's going to become a problem because you'll become dependent. I didn't read your blog for the whole story, but you should find another way to deal with your pain.

    I have one to two glasses of wine a night, so I'm not giving you this advice suggesting that there is anything wrong with drinking alcohol. It's the why, when, and how much that you need to look at.
  • texas68
    texas68 Posts: 5 Member
    If you set limits on how much you will drink and continue to exceed those limits it may be a sign of a bigger problem. Medically speaking more than 1 drink a day for women can cause many health problems including various cancers. More than 5 drinks in 24 hours is alcohol abuse and can lead to alcohol dependence, especially if it happens regularly. If you are unable to limit your drinking and stick to it I hope you will seek help from a professional for the sake of your health and well being. I wish you the best of luck.
  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 909 Member
    4 drinks is not an alcoholic. anybody who says that is not known a true one.
    i do think its odd to discuss when and how much you guys should drink tho LOL it should be a free lighthearted thing.

    nope, i dont think you are drinking too much going by what you described.
  • beckajw
    beckajw Posts: 1,728 Member
    I love whiskey too, but I don't need to drink it every night or drink to excess on the weekends. I slowly sip my whiskey when I'm out with friends or at dinner with my husband to truly enjoy the flavor. We've never had to have a discussion about when and how much I can drink. Just like dieting, drinking takes self-control.
  • LoggingForLife
    LoggingForLife Posts: 504 Member
    Yes, you are.

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