"you don't need to lose weight"

follmer20
follmer20 Posts: 129 Member
in Motivation and Support
Aghh! I hate when people tell me.."oh, you don't need to lose any weight", what are you on a diet for", or "you look fine they way you are"! Even my boyfriend says stuff to me about not needing to diet. Im not doing this for anyone else, I'm doing it for me! Why is it anyone else business why I'm on a diet, or working out. I had 2 kids and I dont want to settle with my post pregnancy body. I'm doing something about it. I want to feel confident in what im wearing. Doesn't anyone understand that! My MIL just told me last night, " I think you look good". I don't care what anyone thinks until I'm happy with what I see in the mirror. I want to be able to go to a store, pick something out and just buy it. Not having to worry about trying it on to see if it fits. My boyfriend will tell me I look good all the time..but he also supports me dieting and wanting to look better. I sometimes wonder if people are saying things just to make me feel good or are they blind?...


Anyone else have this problem and what do you say to the people?
«1

Replies

  • bathsheba_c
    bathsheba_c Posts: 1,873 Member
    They are just trying to be nice. I mean, it's not like they can respond to "I'm on a diet" with, "Good because you were starting to turn into a real fatass."

    Just respond with a smile and a, "That's sweet of you to say." If someone puts you on the defensive about it, you can say, "I know I look great, but I would like to be healthy, too."
  • starbucksbuzz
    starbucksbuzz Posts: 466 Member
    oh I hate this. So annoying. It's like yes because I'm petite and not obese I don't *obviously* need to lose weight, you DEFINITELY know everything about my body type and fitness goals. :grumble:

    I also hate "oh you can afford to eat whatever you want" or "you can eat that! look at you!"
    (why do you think I'm still small? because I don't eat everything "because I can")
  • katamus
    katamus Posts: 2,363 Member
    They are just trying to be nice. I mean, it's not like they can respond to "I'm on a diet" with, "Good because you were starting to turn into a real fatass."

    This is true also. I get this all the time as well.. We just have to ignore it and keep doing what we're doing. And that's why I'm on MFP for support. :)

    Altering HOW to say things can help too. Instead of saying "I'm on a diet" just say "I don't eat _________." Why? Because it's not healthy for me.
  • Wabbit05
    Wabbit05 Posts: 434 Member
    I totally understand what you're saying! Ugh, I hear it all the time. Just the other day, a bank teller offered me a piece of candy for the road and I gracious declined, saying I'm on a diet. Her response was genuine but "You don't need to diet, you look fine." Thanks, but I'm still not taking your Krackel. I don't just want to look fine, I want to feel and look great! I'm not doing this for your attention, I'm doing it for myself, to feel better in my own skin. And that's really all that matters.
  • momtimecafe
    momtimecafe Posts: 7 Member
    Yes, being the skinny girl all my life, people ALWAYS say that to me. Well, just because one is slender in the eyes of most, doesn't mean that all thin people are healthy. I know i wasn't when I decided to make a change. Anytime someone makes that comment to me, I smile and say "thanks"! It's a personal thing and I enjoy taking care of me! You are not alone :)
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    I hear this too - I lost 20lbs and people started to notice and tell me that I didn't need to lose any more.

    I think they say stuff like this for several reasons:
    1. As a society, we've lost sight of what a healthy body actually looks like
    2. They are trying to compliment you
    3. If you lose more, it will make them feel bad about their own weight/eating habits
    4. Some people are depressed by the success of others
    5. Misery loves company

    Congrats on your success so far! Keep doing what you need to do for you and your family :happy:
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
    stand up for yourself and say say 'who dosent need to eat healthy, thats absurd." then pull up your shirt and show them your post prego belly :] either that or dont tell anyone and if anyone says anything about you getting to skinny just ignore them all together and walk away/ change conversation topic.
  • starbucksbuzz
    starbucksbuzz Posts: 466 Member
    I feel like most of the time people say that because I'm smaller than they are, an they feel shown up if I'm that focused on my fitness / food choices. Usually other girls my size understand.
  • HeatherNicoleMomOf4
    HeatherNicoleMomOf4 Posts: 201
    i know what u mean i get the 3rd degree from family and friends and when my mil heard i want to lose another 17lbs she said you better not
  • MommaKit79
    MommaKit79 Posts: 852
    I get the, "OH, there is no way you weight that much" or "But your tall, you cant expect to weight 90 lbs" or "But you wear it well so why worry about it"

    UM....I want to be healthy and happy, ok people!!!

    I hate when I get from my M.I.L. about my husband, "OH, he is built like his daddy, that is just how he is going to be" UM, it doesnt matter WHO he takes after in body type, if he wants to lose weight, he is going to dang it! No one can say he cant do it but him! She also said when I got down to 210 before that I didnt need to lose anymore. UM, I had 10 more to go then to be where i wanted and I wouldnt have looked boney at all. She will probably do the same thing this time when i get back down there.
  • tajmel
    tajmel Posts: 401 Member
    They are just trying to be nice. I mean, it's not like they can respond to "I'm on a diet" with, "Good because you were starting to turn into a real fatass."

    Just respond with a smile and a, "That's sweet of you to say." If someone puts you on the defensive about it, you can say, "I know I look great, but I would like to be healthy, too."

    I can verify this is true, because there is zero room for anyone to genuinely think I don't need to lose weight, and I still hear that a lot. So, I don't say I'm on a diet. I say, "I'm kind of a health nut." And people just go with it.
  • dough21
    dough21 Posts: 216 Member
    I've had a couple "you don't need to lose any more weight." "You look good the way you are" comments. Kind of annoying how I'm 375+ pounds and no one says a word, then I get down to 250 and people say you look fine the way you are! ahhh!
  • cubizzle
    cubizzle Posts: 900 Member
    The other day we had an office party type thing, which is really just an excuse for people to eat tons of food and cake during work hours. I didn't partake, and I got the whole condescending, "oh yeah, can't break your diet, blah, blah, blah." I'm unhappy and I have to project on you because you're actually working on making yourself better.... Sorry I added that last part, but that's really what they are saying. Most of the time when people say things like this it's, at least in a small way, an attempt to justify what they are doing by not doing what you are doing.
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
    I've been hearing it too! I'm 5ft 3 and was 179lbs. I'm now down to 138 and still have stomach fat I'm working on getting rid of. I am at the TOP of my healthy weight range and can still lose 18lbs and be in the middle of the healthy weight range for my height. I exercise often and the rest of me is getting thinner and leaner and they only see that!
    It gets annoying hearing them say I'm 'thin enough' or I'm wasting away to nothing, etc., but I know I'm doing it for my health, I'm not anorexic and it's MY body.
    Just try to ignore them. In my case most of them saying this stuff are overweight or obese themselves so I don't think I trust their judgement anyway. I just tell them I'm not on a 'diet', I'm just eating healthy food and exercising like I should!
  • callikia
    callikia Posts: 226 Member
    I'd tell them, "My body just feels better when I eat healthier foods." Who is going to respond with, "You don't need your body to feel better!"???
  • acpgranberg
    acpgranberg Posts: 137 Member
    I can commiserate. I have about 60lbs to lose before I am a normal and healthy body weight but when I start on that journey, all I hear is how I'm going to get an eating disorder. That's why I've stopped discussing anything with the "loved ones" and turned to you awesome people. Regular exercise should not be criticized!
  • sofakingawesome69
    sofakingawesome69 Posts: 149
    I think it may be in more fear of getting in trouble for saying anything resembling "you need to lose weight". People who are overweight typically react in a bad way to hearing that they need to lose weight. So possibly they don't want to offend or are afraid of hurting feelings...
  • ggcat
    ggcat Posts: 313 Member
    oh I hate this. So annoying. It's like yes because I'm petite and not obese I don't *obviously* need to lose weight, you DEFINITELY know everything about my body type and fitness goals. :grumble:

    I also hate "oh you can afford to eat whatever you want" or "you can eat that! look at you!"
    (why do you think I'm still small? because I don't eat everything "because I can")

    Seriously!

    I tell people I am doing it because I want to be healthy. They usually don't have much to say after that.
  • DieVixen
    DieVixen Posts: 790 Member
    Aghh! I hate when people tell me.."oh, you don't need to lose any weight", what are you on a diet for", or "you look fine they way you are"! Even my boyfriend says stuff to me about not needing to diet. Im not doing this for anyone else, I'm doing it for me! Why is it anyone else business why I'm on a diet, or working out. I had 2 kids and I dont want to settle with my post pregnancy body. I'm doing something about it. I want to feel confident in what im wearing. Doesn't anyone understand that! My MIL just told me last night, " I think you look good". I don't care what anyone thinks until I'm happy with what I see in the mirror. I want to be able to go to a store, pick something out and just buy it. Not having to worry about trying it on to see if it fits. My boyfriend will tell me I look good all the time..but he also supports me dieting and wanting to look better. I sometimes wonder if people are saying things just to make me feel good or are they blind?...


    Anyone else have this problem and what do you say to the people?

    Obviously you do care what they think or you wouldnt be ranting about it. Let them say what they want,its does not really matter unless you let it
  • Chelle_Davis
    Chelle_Davis Posts: 241
    They are just trying to be nice. I mean, it's not like they can respond to "I'm on a diet" with, "Good because you were starting to turn into a real fatass."

    BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Thanks, I needed that laugh today.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Just don't talk about it.
  • butterflylady86
    butterflylady86 Posts: 369 Member
    Yes my ex told me he loved me the way I was. Fast forward three years and I hear you let yourself go. WTH? So I kicked him too the curb and started on this journey again. I feel so much better I lost 190lbs that day. LOL. Bless you all have a awesome day
  • Sublog
    Sublog Posts: 1,296 Member
    Just tell them you want to look good naked. That usually ends the conversation.
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
    I get this all the time. I can't even bring up my gym progress in front of some of my family.

    Last time I checked, I was doing this for ME.
  • workoutgirl23
    workoutgirl23 Posts: 267
    oh yea. i get that all the time, from my family and friends. they are always saying i don't need to lose any more weight, and thinking i'm crazy for being on a diet. don't let it bother you. people always say that. they arn't in your body. don't let it get to you. when ever any one says it to me now, i just laugh and shrug and say i still want to lose some more weight. and then they roll their eyes, and think i'm weight obsessed. lol. but whatever. i don't care. i'm doing this for me.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    When people used to tell me this, I would say- Why are you trying to convince me to give up? with a worried concerned look on my face.

    that straightened em up right into an apology + no no I really think you can do this!
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
    My roommate does this to me all the time...bless her heart because I know she means well and doesnt want to hurt my feelings. She tries to convince me that I'm "skinny"....( Im 5"3 and Im 165....there aint nothing skinny going on over here) I get frustrated because I know I'm not and wish people would just tell me how fat I am! Ok, maybe not literally but I do wish I had someone to support me. Story of my life.
  • selig0730
    selig0730 Posts: 509 Member
    i know what you mean, everyone says you lost alot of weight you dont need to lose anymore weight, you are already skinny, you dont see what i see in the mirror without my shirt, i still have a little gut i want to get rid of and that requires me to workout and eat good which means losing weight. im not doing it for nobody but me.
  • cubizzle
    cubizzle Posts: 900 Member
    When people used to tell me this, I would say- Why are you trying to convince me to give up? with a worried concerned look on my face.

    that straightened em up right into an apology + no no I really think you can do this!

    This is fantastic. :flowerforyou:
  • littlelol
    littlelol Posts: 539
    bump

Categories