I am sooo ashamed!

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kimnaaron4ever
kimnaaron4ever Posts: 61
in Motivation and Support
I don't know what is wrong with me right now! I went on a complete binge last night & it is carrying over into today (although not as drastic as last night)! I mean last night I ate any and everything I could find. I wasn't even hungry and the foods that I ate weren't even among my favorites (okay maybe the drumstick ice cream was)! It's like I couldn't stop myself! Well, I did really well this morning, my usual low-cal breakfast, with a low-cal snack a couple hours later, then a nice salad for lunch, but then I let my daughters make a special dessert for one of their friends that had come over today, and it was ON! I walked by it about five times, but then I couldn't take it any more. Now I think what I am most ashamed about is that I am actually hiding to eat this way! Last night, I waited until my kids and husband were all fast asleep and then started chowing down. Today, I waited until everyone was too busy doing other things to notice me! Why am I doing this to myself? I've worked so hard and come so far to do this! Can anyone help me understand what is going on?! I mean, I don't deprive myself of anything, I believe in anything in moderation, so, it can't be that I feel like I'm missing out on anything! I just don't know! Well, I went ahead and logged what I ate today, so, I can at least hopefully get back on track. since, thankfully I didn't go so crazy that I ate all my alloted calories for the day!
SO, here's hoping I can get back to it!
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Replies

  • loufranks
    loufranks Posts: 45
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    Offering you a virtual hug. I have struggled with binge eating for over 10 years and secret eating for years before that. Only now am I getting on top of it. The thing that helped for me this time is to focus on the good instead of the bad. So instead of focusing on that binge I just had, I now focus on the fact that I ate less at the binge or hadn't binged for longer than normal or made some healthier choice in my other foods. It really is working for me.

    What I'm trying to say is that you're only human and sometimes you will give in to old habits, the trick is to not let it form a new habit and to try and replace it with better (healthier) habits. Don't give in!

    Something good must have happened this week? You logged your food, that's an achievement in itself!

    If you'd like some support feel free to send me a friend request. Best of luck x
  • stpetegirl
    stpetegirl Posts: 241
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    Has beinge eating been a problem for you in the past or is this new for you? I know for me I don't always know why I binge right away but can usually figure it out. Maybe something that bothered me at work, or stress at home, maybe I didn't eat enough calories for the day or had gone for so long without it that I just couldn't stop myself. Plus, hormones can play a role in binge eating according to my dr. And I am def more prone to binge when I pms.....just don't beat yourself up too bad because the guilt will set in and that can often cause binges too! Just track what you ate and finish the day strong and tomorrow is another day to do amazing! You just have to forgive yourself to do it! Good luck!
  • gobunkos
    gobunkos Posts: 36 Member
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    As Tony Soprano would say: fuggitaboutit!!!! Just get back to the routine you started and look back at it like a bad distant memory. We all deserve a break once in a while!
  • dorite7
    dorite7 Posts: 27 Member
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    I have learned to 'study' my binges......there is ALWAYS a reason why we do it!! I've noticed that I binge after I talk to my mom (everytime!!!!) ......when I don't 'get that call or text from that special someone' like I want!! ......when i bowl bad .......when I screw up on my diet (thx to that All or Nothing attitude! NOT!!!) .......when I'm stressed from work ........when I'm bored ........when I wanna bake or cook something new .....and the list goes on and on......

    I'm wondering if possibly, deep down, you may be feeling irritated that your family can eat all they want of whatever they want and you are limited and you may be thinking, "I'll show you!! -- There is no way I'm gonna be limited on my food!! I'm a grown woman!!" --I just know I've felt like that MANY times before!!!

    Hang in there....your not alone!! I 'went crazy' yesterday too....but I restarted again today.....we have to try to learn from our binges and soon they will be farther and farther apart!! :))
  • katejkelley
    katejkelley Posts: 841 Member
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    I have learned to 'study' my binges......there is ALWAYS a reason why we do it!! I've noticed that I binge after I talk to my mom (everytime!!!!) ......when I don't 'get that call or text from that special someone' like I want!! ......when i bowl bad .......when I screw up on my diet (thx to that All or Nothing attitude! NOT!!!) .......when I'm stressed from work ........when I'm bored ........when I wanna bake or cook something new .....and the list goes on and on......

    I'm wondering if possibly, deep down, you may be feeling irritated that your family can eat all they want of whatever they want and you are limited and you may be thinking, "I'll show you!! -- There is no way I'm gonna be limited on my food!! I'm a grown woman!!" --I just know I've felt like that MANY times before!!!

    Hang in there....your not alone!! I 'went crazy' yesterday too....but I restarted again today.....we have to try to learn from our binges and soon they will be farther and farther apart!! :))

    This is excellent advice! I find when I am stressed, I head for the kitchen. Or when I'm pissed at my husband, I head for the kitchen. I'm learning, slowly, that I am only hurting myself by doing this. So now, I clean - keeps me busy and burns calories!
  • kylTKe
    kylTKe Posts: 146 Member
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    Gather sh!tty foods >> place in trash >> take out trash
  • avt85
    avt85 Posts: 64
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    you can do it, another day is another battle.
    how much calories did you over by from your bmr?
    i had a binge last night too, i went over by 1,400 calories the moment I got home from work.
    I was feeling a bit peckish so I thought I would grab something to eat before gym, next thing you know it, I was downing 1,400 worth of food within a 30minute period.

    Luckily Imanaged to get myself to the gym afterwards and minimise the effects of that binge and since I was at a deficit, I was really only above my bmr by a 400-500 calories, so it was kinda like I was eating a bit over maintenance. Maybe you are in the same boat as me?:ohwell:
  • kendrart
    kendrart Posts: 49 Member
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    I totally empathize with your struggle, and find comfort in knowing that lots and lots of people have been there. Like others have said, there is always a reason that we do this - but sometimes those reasons are subconscious or so engrained that it's only through a huge amount of thinking and self-work that we can come to understand them.

    I highly recommend the book "The Life You Want: Transforming Your Relationship with Food, Exercise and Yourself" by Bob Greene. It's got some tough truths but really pulls off the veil and confusion around binge & emotional eating, and the psychological reasons why it's so common to continue to struggle with weight or fail to keep it off. It made me cry - a LOT - but helped me realize some things about myself. It's one of the books that will sit on my shelf forever.
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
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    what upset you that you HAD to eat. It's usually something other than food that makes eat to feel good.

    Think about waht happened, did seomone say something that upset you?
  • lstnlondry
    lstnlondry Posts: 1,794 Member
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    I could have written this original post. I too wait or my family to sleep so I can binge like Hell. It was hard enough not stopping at McDonalds after pumping my gas! No one would have had to ever know! Its okay, you can start fresh after the binge and you are never alone.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    I hope others are able to offer more advice, I'm just really here for this:

    *hug* :heart:

    Try to blog about it and see if it helps you identify the how's and the why's and the when's... at least get it all out, maybe after reading back over it, it will all make more sense.

    Take care.
  • MrsPong
    MrsPong Posts: 580 Member
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    Binge eating has never been a problem, but all of sudden I started doing the same thing you do, I hide what Im eating. I think I've been trying to get back on track for so long and started and failed that I need to hide the bad food from my family because its just another "attempt" at me losing weight.

    I also noticed that when I step on the scale and the number is the same or higher (maybe not even real weight, maybe water) I FREAK out and have a horrible day. Because it reminds me that my work is usless or how thin i used to be...

    So i stopped using the scale. I know it can be a great thing for the number to go down, but it hits me way to hard when it doesnt. So i have learned....and thats all you can do is learn WHY your doing it. I have also tried this thing if i want it or NEED it, ill eat half of it. then i gave in a little but I didnt kill my day. Makes me feel like I'm not limiting myself so much and I have the control.

    I also try to remember "what you eat in private, you wear in public"
  • danabrash
    danabrash Posts: 67
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    Gather sh!tty foods >> place in trash >> take out trash

    ^^^ THIS ^^^

    now if I could get my wife to stop replenishing the supply....
  • MaryRegs
    MaryRegs Posts: 272 Member
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    forget it! start anew tomorrow
  • dotti1121
    dotti1121 Posts: 751 Member
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    bump
  • coypemberton
    coypemberton Posts: 3 Member
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    On top of looking for stressors that set off the eating also take a close look at what you eat prior to binging. I have found that when I'm not getting enough of something (a certain vitamin, protein, etc.) I am far more likely to binge. Stress is definitely my lighter but often nutritional lacking is the fuel.
  • sunshine77493
    sunshine77493 Posts: 25 Member
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    I don't know what is wrong with me right now! I went on a complete binge last night & it is carrying over into today (although not as drastic as last night)! I mean last night I ate any and everything I could find. I wasn't even hungry and the foods that I ate weren't even among my favorites (okay maybe the drumstick ice cream was)! It's like I couldn't stop myself! Well, I did really well this morning, my usual low-cal breakfast, with a low-cal snack a couple hours later, then a nice salad for lunch, but then I let my daughters make a special dessert for one of their friends that had come over today, and it was ON! I walked by it about five times, but then I couldn't take it any more. Now I think what I am most ashamed about is that I am actually hiding to eat this way! Last night, I waited until my kids and husband were all fast asleep and then started chowing down. Today, I waited until everyone was too busy doing other things to notice me! Why am I doing this to myself? I've worked so hard and come so far to do this! Can anyone help me understand what is going on?! I mean, I don't deprive myself of anything, I believe in anything in moderation, so, it can't be that I feel like I'm missing out on anything! I just don't know! Well, I went ahead and logged what I ate today, so, I can at least hopefully get back on track. since, thankfully I didn't go so crazy that I ate all my alloted calories for the day!
    SO, here's hoping I can get back to it!

    Confession is good for the soul. Bingeing (sp?) is complicated and you may never know exactly what triggered it. We could analyze it til we're blue in the face. The fact is it happened. You weren't happy with yourself. At some level, it was about control but that's really moot. All of us who use this App might be just a little OCD anyway. Don't beat yourself up. Every day is a new beginning. Also, consider that your body may be craving a specific mineral such as magnesium. Very common in women.
  • Shock_Wave
    Shock_Wave Posts: 1,573 Member
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    I don't know what is wrong with me right now! I went on a complete binge last night & it is carrying over into today (although not as drastic as last night)! I mean last night I ate any and everything I could find. I wasn't even hungry and the foods that I ate weren't even among my favorites (okay maybe the drumstick ice cream was)! It's like I couldn't stop myself! Well, I did really well this morning, my usual low-cal breakfast, with a low-cal snack a couple hours later, then a nice salad for lunch, but then I let my daughters make a special dessert for one of their friends that had come over today, and it was ON! I walked by it about five times, but then I couldn't take it any more. Now I think what I am most ashamed about is that I am actually hiding to eat this way! Last night, I waited until my kids and husband were all fast asleep and then started chowing down. Today, I waited until everyone was too busy doing other things to notice me! Why am I doing this to myself? I've worked so hard and come so far to do this! Can anyone help me understand what is going on?! I mean, I don't deprive myself of anything, I believe in anything in moderation, so, it can't be that I feel like I'm missing out on anything! I just don't know! Well, I went ahead and logged what I ate today, so, I can at least hopefully get back on track. since, thankfully I didn't go so crazy that I ate all my alloted calories for the day!
    SO, here's hoping I can get back to it!

    You're still young maybe your just still growing? :smokin:
  • QuirkyPanda
    QuirkyPanda Posts: 44 Member
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    Gather sh!tty foods >> place in trash >> take out trash

    This!
  • logicman69
    logicman69 Posts: 1,034 Member
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    Don't worry about it. One day of bing eating will not set you back. I went through this last weekend. I just ate anything and everything. In 2 days, I polished off half a large sausage and meatball pizza (in one sitting), an entire package of oreos, 4 hotdogs loaded, and a 12 pack of chocolate chip cookies. I thought I was done for. I got back on track, and lost all the weight I had "gained" by the following week.

    We are loosing weight so we can ENJOY LIFE. Never forget that. It's ok if you have the "bad stuff" every once in a while. As long as we don't make a habit of it.

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