Insecure

I still see myself as heavier too when everyone else is telll
ing me how great I look! i guess it's a process

I was the same way! I am 277 now, I've been overweight since high school. I used to not do much of anything, because I was scared of my own shadow, so to speak. Nervous about what people thought about my appearance, scared to talk to people, in fear they might not like what I say. I still struggle with the talking, but it's not nearly as bad. I finally said F*K IT! a few years back. I stopped wearing dull dark colors, jeans and long sleeves in the summer. I love bright colors now and I've always loved dresses, but now I will show a little leg or arm, instead of buying only floor length lol. I'm more active than I have ever been. I'm still not comfortable in large groups, but I suck it up and deal. I go to a zumba class now, I don't talk to anyone, I just do the moves and ignore everyone and pretend I'm the only one in the room. That helps me alot! I still self conscious of my stretch marks, but I try not to focus on my flaws and just have a good time.

I feel very similar to how you've described, especially with stretch marks on my arms, legs, and it is hard. All I have to say is just remember that most girls do have stretch marks and wearing black tights slims my legs and makes me feel much more confident when I'm wearing skirts/dresses. I stay away from shorts haha - they cut my legs off in the worst of ways. Good luck

I completely get where you are coming from. I actually think of myself as paranoid. Because when I go out, I hear people laugh, especially girls my age or younger and I instantly think they are laughing at me. Sounds crazy I know, but I fight this sort of thing all the time. I think, people are always looking at me, judging me. Thing is, I am beginning to realize they don't care at all. People are self absorbed, they look at themselves and care less about what other people look like or dress like.

At my starting weight of 230 lbs and 5'10" I felt like a giant, that if I breathed wrong I would knock things over and that I didn't belong in this world of tiny people. 17 lbs down I am starting to feel better in that area but my paranoia is still there (but it is getting better).

Anyway, I told you all that crap about me because I wanted to point this out.

Baby steps is the key. If you can't talk to someone like a counselor, I would try doing little things to help. Go to a park or somewhere where there aren't many people around, but there has to be some....you wearing shorts. Long shorts is fine, I don't wear anything but long shorts anyway. A half hour of walking or shopping or whatever then go home if you must and change. But spend this time watching other people. Watch how they interact with other people. Observe if they are scrutinizing others. I'll bet you they aren't.

School often gets us in this defensive mode, thinking that mind set of making fun of others will continue forever. But it doesn't. It's all you. You choose to be scared or paranoid.

You can choose to fight it, one step at a time.

Good luck :flowerforyou:

If it helps... we're all insecure about something. The first thing you need to do is to realize that your insecurity is based on your self image, and your internal conversation. You need to change what you are saying to yourself about yourself. You are hardest on yourself, and if you start to think that others think of you in that negative way, it can be damaging to your self esteem. If this is happening to you, I would encourage you to seek counseling. Counseling has really helped me to become more satisfied with myself, and generally more happy with life.

You can change the way you treat yourself

I have thought about trying counseling but i am just not comfortable around people i don't know and i probably wouldn't say much.

You don't need to worry about that... a good counselor asks questions and helps you to look inward. I highly recommend counseling for anyone. We all go through difficult times and have issues. I have been able to work through my stuff with the help of an excellent counselor, and it has been well worth putting myself out there. That said, you must do what works best for you. Good luck with the journey.
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Be nice to yourself:-)

That's awesome, that counseling help you. I personally will never recommend it. I have been told, over and over, you should see a counselor, for various things in my life. I refuse because I had bad experiences with the 2 I did see as a teen. The 1st one called me a liar, when I was telling the truth, she just refused to believe me. The second one tried to tell me who I can and can't be friends with, and that pissed me off. So yea, I guess I just found the crappy ones.

Sweetie, the best thing I can say is you just gotta love yourself in order to be able to show more skin off. I still have ways to go, 55 pounds left. I see the results in the mirror and I get so happy and excited and just want to show it off. This year the 1st year I haven't had a farmers tan, cause I'm in shorts/skirts and a tank non-stop!