Self Sabotage....A cry for help

The first question is whether you're eating enough of everything your body needs. If you're not then the hunger and cravings are likely to be physiological, not psychological. Many women beat themselves up about hunger and cravings... when actually it's their body's natural way of telling them to eat more of something. It's not always the number of calories, it may be insufficiency of a particular nutrient (usually fat, because many people cut fat out of their diet without realising that it's an essential nutrient - the healthy kinds of fat that is)

Anyway IMO the first thing to look at is this. If you're 100% certain you're eating enough protein, healthy fat, healthy carbs (how many carbs you need depends on how much you exercise, all the vitamins and minerals you need, enough fibre and you're also drinking plenty of water, and that your overall number of calories is high enough (you shouldn't go below 30% of your total daily energy expenditure)............. then look to psychological issues (e.g. comfort eating). However a lot of people think they have a psychological problem with food when really it's just that they're not getting enough of something.

i think comfort eating is OK ..its when you avoid doing it for awhile you eventually break ....and just go soooo overboard its hard to get over it!! i mean, sometimes bacon just makes me happy. nothin wrong with that, in moderation. and i dont LIVE for bacon lol.

I don't really have any useful advice, but I do the same thing (even to the extent of eating candy/chocolate till I feel like I'm going to be sick to my stomach). One thing that was useful for me was to look at when I was worst with this habit and what led up to it (so eg I'm much worse when I'm experiencing a moderately strong negative emotion)

No clue, your diary is closed.

But many of the women I know eat too little during regular meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner), get hungry, and then snack with very unhealthy food non-stop. It's the snacking that screws up their diet. Make sure you're eating 3 healthy meals that can sustain you for the entire day. And stop the snacking. Just don't buy the stuff. If you still get cravings, drink water. Lots and lots of water.

And more low level exercise. In your case, just walk a lot. After breakfast, after dinner.

--P

I dont know if this will help you, but it has really helped me:

http://luckytastebuds.wordpress.com/2009/04/21/oxidizer-test-from-jillian-michaels/

You should find out what your body is oxidizing faster. Carbs or protein, or if you are balanced.
I found out I was a fast protein oxidizer, which in turn, I make all of my meals 60-80% protein. I rarely have bad cravings but if I do, I just substitute.

Ie: I want ice cream.
Substitute: Low fat ice cream sandwich, 130 Calories

That way I dont mess up my whole week by eating something I can just "work off".

Your issue with eating and then saying "its ok Ill work it off" isnt really a horrible thing, only if you actually DO burn it off. The issue with that is, who wants to burn off 800 cals for cheating? Especially if youve already worked out in the day. Its just so much easier to eat "clean" and stuff your face with veggies.

It takes a lot of time to change habits, dont get down on yourself! Just tell yourself, "no excuses". You can do it!

I was simply disgusted with myself and loathed what I had allow happen to myself. I took that anger and used it to my advantage. I elimated the bad foods b/c moderation was a concept I wasn't familiar with. It's been a year and I'm just now grasping this concept. It takes a while to train yourself and sometimes your'e just better off doing w/o certain foods. As I began to see progress, I started exercising. Started with 20-30 minutes of strength training 3 days a week. Added in 30 minutes of cardio 4 days a week and increased it accordingly over time to what my body could handle. My current routine is 25 mins s/t 3xw and 60 mins cardio 6xw. When I don't feel like working out, I get dressed and walk to the room. Just by being in the room, I get in the mood. In addition to feeling healthier, the exercise is really what's motivating me the most. It's my drug of choice. I feel great during and after my workouts and I want to hold on to that feeling. As far as the mindless eating, I plan my meals for the week ahead. Have seperate shelves for the forbidden snacks for other household members and tell myself it's not on the menu. Once in a while I slip up real bad. Sometimes I forgive myself right away and get over it. Other times I whine about it on here. It's been a neverending learning process. I do a lot of research on health and fitness, I look through the chat rooms for ideas, and I ask my friends on here for help. I also found a book that was really helpful: Dr. Phil's Ultimate Weight Solution. I read that in the very beginning and it helped me understand where my head was at and offered suggestions on how to replace bad habits with good habits. For instance if you know a certain time of day you get hungey and eat out of boredom or whatever, find a short activity to schedule for that time period to keep you busy and take your mind off of it. Maybe fold laundry, go through the mail, write a poem, etc. The impulse only last a short time and after doing this for a short while, you wil have created a new "good" habit and eliminated the "bad" habit. It really does work. By the way, I still can't have "just one". The thing that worked the best for me was to change one small thing each week. I made a committment to do that and it just seemed easy. All I had to focus on was training myself that one thing. Then the next week, incorporate one more change, and so. Small changes over a long period of time. It's not a race, it's a lifestyle change. You can do it. Believe in yourself. Best of luck to you.

It amazes me how many testimonies sound as if they came from my story! You've taken a good first step by confronting the problem. Most of us have been or are now right where you are. You were one of my first MFP friends when I joined last October. As you know, I have fallen by the wayside many times since then, and I gained back the ten pounds I lost, plus, they brought along a few uninvited friends. Thus, I ended up with an additional 5 pounds to lose. Let's just try to hang in there and do this together again! You've got lots of support here on MFP, and there have been some great replies to this thread. I'm sure there are many others who are also saying "This sounds just like my story!" Thanks for posting such an honest topic, and thanks to the others here who have given helpful advice that we all can use. Good luck!

I think I "fooled" myself into actually believing that I was "OK with who I was" as everything else in my life was good, I'd even go so far as to say idyllic... but the truth was I still had a weight issue lurking in the background but I had no "reason" to do anything about it. I just kind of hid it away.

Recently something pretty major changed in my life... we're about to adopt two beautiful children.. and I suddenly thought "I don't want to be a fat dad" and to be honest I suddenly realised I'm not really happy with the way I look.

I could have typed these exact words -in fact I did earlier ...http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/669692-living-in-fear

Hi folks fatman here again...

The fact that I am losing motivates me more, losing 20lbs is amazing, how come such an acheivment wasn't on your mind when you reached for the cake or the bun? You must have been doing so well for a number of months, and then started to disregard what you had done and fell into your old ways. That's why I think people are right when they say it's a lifestyle change and not a diet.

I have dieted on and off for 8 years- it's only now that I made lasting changes without completely restricting myself that I am starting to see some success. The changes you make need to bearable, even enjoyable, in 6 months from now and 6 years from now.

When I first read your post I was instantly reminded of my experience of being clinically depressed which started after my father's death when I was a teen. The idea that everything is going well in my life but why am I still so sad and doing self-destructive things. Then I checked your profile and read about your late husband. It was after his death that you gain a major part of your weight. Have you ever thought that you might have "survivor guilt"? That somewhere deep inside you think you don't deserve getting healthy, and being happy with a new partner because of what happened to him.

I think the journaling will be good for you but you might also think about reading some books on coping with the loss of a spouse because it sounds like you eat those feeling away, or reading about the symptoms of depression.

Just don't give up! Make mini goals for yourself. Once you see yourself reaching them (besides just losing weight) I think it is harder to slip back. Good luck! Feel free to add me.

Wow you sound like me in the eating department, Ive been chewing alot of sugar free gum and making sure I eat 3 good meals a day about the same time. With summer here I have a bunch of fruit on had cleaned and ready to eat. This is my third time at mfp, three times the charm!