reality just slapped me across the face!!

r1ghtpath
r1ghtpath Posts: 701 Member
in Motivation and Support
so, how do i deal with it?

i thought i was looking better. my own pictures of myself look different than when others take pics. so, obviously my own reality was severely skewed! i allowed someone to take pics of myself this weekend and i just saw them on Facebook and went from feeling good about myself to feeling like completely and utter crap!

what do you do when you gross yourself out?? i would like to be able to look at a picture of myself, taken by someone else, and NOT be upset with what i see :-( i want someone to be able to tag me in a picture and NOT be so ashamed of how i look that i message them and ask them to remove the tag :-(

does this end? will i always be grossed out by pictures someone else takes of me?? i know i'm huge now. i know i have years of work ahead of me. how do i not focus on the overall status and just focus on the tiny, individual changes??

i haven't cried about my looks or struggles with losing weight and changing my body, EVER. i am crying now though. blah!

Replies

  • fabandfunat51
    fabandfunat51 Posts: 117 Member
    I think you should take a look at those photos again and your profile pics. You are beautiful - you have to love yourself right where you are now, or when you get to your goal, you still will not be happy.

    Be encouraged - you are beautiful!
  • Pils_
    Pils_ Posts: 8
    hey, im new here so i don't know completely how this works... but i can give you some advice.

    I dont like my recent fb pictures either, i like the ones i take because i take them in a way i look good... but when someone else takes a pic of me and i see how i really look all the time i get a little sad :(
    I use to remove the tag from photos too, but i never did something to change the way i look. So i think it is ok to remove the tag if you dont like the picture, but you need to do something in order to look as you want :) at least thats what im going to do from now on
  • benich3043
    benich3043 Posts: 252 Member
    Can you post them on here so we can see the differences? Maybe it is because when someone else takes a pic you are kinda caught off guard. When you take your own you pose how you want and when you want so you get what you want. You have to remember that you arent posing for the world all the time like you do for yourself. What you seen in your picture is what the world sees. You might not like what you see, but instead of complaning, you are here trying to do something about it. I havent seen to many pics other people have taken of me lately, so I don't know what to expect.
  • m60kaf
    m60kaf Posts: 421 Member
    some people just don't photograph well. I'm fairly confident I look a lot better than I photograph.

    Just keep on with what you are doing
  • LindaCWy
    LindaCWy Posts: 463 Member
    Sometimes, the lighting is off. The picture is blurry, you are looking a certain way, you are mid sneeze, etc etc,

    Whenever I am in a group picture, I be sure NEVER to be on the end, thats a place for skinny minnies, being within the group lends to a more flattering angle.

    Sometimes though, I just realize, it's the fat girl in me, always feeling like a fat girl, not matter what I look like. Pictures can be stupid sometimes but remember, this is the body you were given, so learn to love it. No refunds, no exchanges. Work with it and make it yours.
  • Linbo93
    Linbo93 Posts: 229 Member
    OK so I have been experiencing this exact same phenomenon. The mirror makes me happy, my photos make me happy, but a photo taken with less "bias"...makes me feel like I've done NOTHING of worth and that I have sooo far to go! I've been dealing with this for a couple months now!

    What I have come to realize is that I am my own worst judge. Everybody around me says I'm doing great! What I see in those photos is not ideal. But I remind myself constantly when I'm feeling insecure that I am currently in transition. I am not finished with my weightloss! The me in those pictures may not be perfect...but it is not forever!

    And then I stop looking at the pictures and I move on with my day, doing those things that I know will help me achieve the photos I WANT to be tagged in on Facebook!
  • FiercelyBeautiful
    FiercelyBeautiful Posts: 590 Member
    I FEEL YOUR PAIN! I have the exact same problem, when I take pictures of myself I am proud of them; however when someone else takes them its like ive gained 30lbs. WITHOUT FAIL this happens and it literally kills my self esteem ::( I pray I get to a size that it doesnt matter who takes it or at what angle (for the most part, even celebs can have unflattering photos). :(
  • Cocochickdeleted
    Cocochickdeleted Posts: 342 Member
    We are always our own worst critics. My guess is that you are being much too hard on yourself. I STILL hate when people photograph me, and I'm at my goal weight. I'm always critiquing myself, but I know it's just nit-pickiness on my part. Focus on your good qualities and let time and diligence take care of the rest.
  • DiannaMoorer
    DiannaMoorer Posts: 783 Member
    I just took a peek at your pictures on your profile and you are NOT huge, you look look great!! Sure you want to lose more. So do I. Stay positive and motivated and you'll get there. Keep in mind all the hard work and progress you have achieved. :flowerforyou:
  • BootCampC
    BootCampC Posts: 689 Member
    we are much more critical of ourselves than we should be , most of us do not like how we look in pics , certain angles make me cringe .. we are who we are no matter what , we are striving to make ourselves better.. the only person being critical is you.. just remember that.... just be the great person you are and stick to your goals , smile and be the beautiful person you are.
  • r1ghtpath
    r1ghtpath Posts: 701 Member
    that's just it. i look at the pictures i've taken of myself, the ones up here, and i'm content with the small changes i see........ but i don't look the same AT ALL in these pictures my friend took of me :-( and if thats what i really look like, it makes me sad.
  • beachboy3
    beachboy3 Posts: 1
    This should be a focal point to make you train even harder, to get you over the hump. I look at myself in the mirror and think if i can just tap away at the boulder, remove the excess and get down to the gem within i will truly shine. Strive to be healthy, live longer, grow to see the things that only a long fruitful life can provide. We choose to either be proactive, or reactive. Don't follow the later, continue, work hard, and create new goals.
  • soehlerking
    soehlerking Posts: 589 Member
    I agree; I've come so far, but it seems like I'm even more dissatisfied with my body now that I'm actually making it better--I can't stand my belly, my thighs, my arms...so I try to keep this in mind: I started at 170lb. 170lb-me didn't think I'd make it to 150. If 170lb-me were to see the "bad" pictures of me now @ 138lb, she'd be pretty stoked. It's all about perspective. :)
  • McLifterPants
    McLifterPants Posts: 457 Member
    ::hugs::

    You're on the right track, because you've decided to change, and you're making progress. Pictures are hard, because they can be harsh. Instead of thinking "wow, I look awful," think forward 3 months, 6 months, a year, about how you will be able to post those pictures next to the "new you" and show everyone what amazing progress you've made! Never get discouraged. You CAN and WILL get to where you want to be.
  • Sonnie124
    Sonnie124 Posts: 96 Member
    You will always pick yourself apart. Read the comments that are written and believe them. Have faith and don't give up! Someone looks up to you!
  • r1ghtpath
    r1ghtpath Posts: 701 Member
    We choose to either be proactive, or reactive.

    This!! I'm always proactive! I don't want to start being reactive!!! Thank you so much
    For the reminder!!!! I'm going to put this everywhere I can see it!!!
  • IronSmasher
    IronSmasher Posts: 3,908 Member
    It's discouraging, but to change it, we have to stay on the rightpath
  • crzyone
    crzyone Posts: 872 Member
    Oh, gosh, I understand totally. That happened to me today, too. I have lost some and am wearing some smaller clothes and was feeling really good about them, but today I saw my reflection and thought just what you did. Oh mannnnnnnnnnnnn....how could I feel good about this and how could I possibly have weighed more and looked worse!!!

    Soooooo, the only thing to do is to pick up and keep on going and making that reflection better. I think maybe I had become "happy" with the fact that I had lost and was feeling better (although I by no means am anything but still obese) and that I have slacked off, so time to pick up and get more in shape.

    I'm sorry you are feeling so badly about yourself. No matter how we/you/I look we are not horrible or gross but are people....with hearts, and souls and minds.......and we need to love ourselves...but be ready and willing to change the things we can.

    Sooooooooooo, just keep on going and I'm going to try to do the same.......and soon we'll look smashing, dahlink!!!!
  • lizalee1973
    lizalee1973 Posts: 4
    I think we can all relate to this topic. After losing a lot of weight I recently gained some and didn't realize how the weight gain was affecting me until i saw some pics of me at a friend's birthday brunch. While I was sad, I'm glad that the "reality check" helped motivate me to get back on track. It's about perspective...have your cry, let it out...and then turn the sadness around to motivation..it worked for me, I'm sure it will work for you!
  • r1ghtpath
    r1ghtpath Posts: 701 Member
    It's discouraging, but to change it, we have to stay on the rightpath


    i see what you did there ;-) where the heck is the right path ??? ;-) LOL!!! i'm struggling to find it. grrrrr!!!
  • r1ghtpath
    r1ghtpath Posts: 701 Member
    i did have a nice LOOONNNGGGG cry. a bit of a meltdown i guess you could call it. lasted long enough!! then i took it to the gym.

    i do feel like i'm floundering since no specific combo that i have tried in the past year has been MY right path. so, i don't know if i'm coming or going most of the time. i think i'm going to just stay the course with what i've been doing the past couple weeks and see if at the end of 3 months there are any positive changes :-)

    i have to say, i did put on a swim suit today that i wore last week and it felt loose this week. then i tossed on a pair of capris that had been quite snug in the waist, and they felt loose too.

    i just wish the pictures looked different. i wish that the pics i take MATCHED the pics others take of me........... oh well.

    thank you all for your kind words and support. i greatly appreciate it :-)

    (((HUGS))) to anyone that is feeling how i am feeling. it sucks and i wish none of us felt this way!!!!

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