i was "mean" to overweight kids
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All the other suggestions are great and can be done but I fail to see why it's your job. Their parents need to take some responsibility for their own kids and quite frankly, if at 11 and 12 they're 180 and 190lbs then they are fat. It's that simple. Their mothers can hate it all they want but those are the facts. I do understand it's a complicated situation you're in. No matter what you say you're probably going to offend someone and it's difficult to see what the best option is. I just don't think you should have to compromise your own workout to accommodate someone else's kids. The parents need to look at their own behaviour. This all may sounds really harsh, but losing weight and getting fit is hard enough as it is without having to fight other people's battles.
because they are KIDS. Why should they be the ones to suffer because of the adults around them?0 -
1. It is never okay to name call. Fat is a mean spirited word.
2. There is always more than one way to say something - you can simply say "my walking time is really a time when I like to unwind and think. I prefer to walk alone"
3. An apology IS in order for calling them fat. It doesn't cost anything to say you are sorry and it makes others feel that you care.
Good luck with your fitness and with your relationship with the neighbors.
Blessings
Mel0 -
If you were rude, even unintentionally, you should apologize. I don't know if you really were, but it might be worth it to keep the peace.
It's up to you whether you help these girls out. I think it would be really wonderful if you did. If you have to, walk ahead of them a certain distance and then walk back to them. But they really need someone to encourage them, and their parents are obviously not going to do it.0 -
Yeh... one more comment. It's not your responsibility to teach the neighbor's kids how to stay fit. Be kind - just be kind.
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What are you talking about? Where did she say she used the word "fat"? She said they couldn't exercise with her unless they could keep up, and their mothers inferred the rest.1. It is never okay to name call. Fat is a mean spirited word.
2. There is always more than one way to say something - you can simply say "my walking time is really a time when I like to unwind and think. I prefer to walk alone"
3. An apology IS in order for calling them fat. It doesn't cost anything to say you are sorry and it makes others feel that you care.
Good luck with your fitness and with your relationship with the neighbors.
Blessings
Mel0 -
Are there any school tracks in your area? When my kids want to go with me, I go to a high school or middle school track. After school hours they are usually open to the public. At the track the kids can walk when they want, and I can keep an eye on them. When I come around they usually try to race so it actually encourages me to get some speed work in. Also there are usually lines on the track, so I can set a finish line for our races and get them going a little further than they might otherwise go.0
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I have similar problems with my inlaws, seems like we are always butting heads even when its unintentional. Why not try to inspire the girls to workout with you, it can only help them. I know at that age I was overweight and already feeling so bad about myself, if someone had took the time then to teach me, maybe things could have been different. include the girls in your walk, tell them its up to them to be ready at the set time or they cant come, give them a good head start, that way you can keep a good pace but also keep the girls in sight. Also use leg and wrist weights to ad resistance to your walk, you will probably slow down a little naturally and still get a good workout.
Chances are as young as the girls are, they will grow tired of walking with you after a few times. And if not, then they will become as dedicated as you are and eventually be able to keep up!0 -
If you have access to a walking track, let them walk with you there. That way you can each walk at your own pace but they are still nearby on the track.0
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maybe your boyfriend should take them
^^^this!0 -
If you have access to a walking track, let them walk with you there. That way you can each walk at your own pace but they are still nearby on the track.
and this^^0 -
sneaking on at work so not sure if this was said, but can you ask Mom to come to incase you need to go ahead, they are still supervised. Put the guilt game on that you could never live with yourself if something happened. This may encourage Mom to go burn a few too, plus it is great bonding between parents n their kids.0
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chances are... the mom will not help.
If it was anyone else besides a couple of kids, I'd say tough luck. HOWEVER, they are MORBIDLY obese at ages 11 and 12. IF no one takes time for them to teach them how to eat and exercise, they are going to be in even worse shape later. It also sounds like you might be their only role model in that area. As an adult, you have a responsibility to teach them and if they are willing to exercise with you, then you need to take time for them. If that means slowing your own weight loss by a fraction for a few months until they can build the stamina to hang with you, then so be it.
Otherwise, take separate walks, but you have to help them.
^^^^ Sad as it is to day... this.
Ideally, get your boyfriend or their own damned mother to do it, but those poor kids need a role model that will show them that exercise is good, and if you're the only actual responsible adult in their lives who cares enough about their health to do something, then they need you to do it.
Try to keep them to the best pace you can, and do your energetic walks without them, but include them in a walk as often as you can for as long as you can. If you can get your boyfriend or their mom to come along, great, but it sounds like that's not gonna happen.
Eventually, if they stick with it, they'll start keeping up on the more energetic walks.
And when they get older, YOU'LL be the one they remember as the fun adult.0 -
Had this happen, well close. What I did is I did my fast walk first and then when it was time for a cool down I would pick up my friend and then it didn't matter that she was slower than me, also I would ask the mom to come. Just say the kids want to walk and you aren't always available, but that it would be great for the girls to see their mom out walking and that this is a good time for bonding!! The mom should see this as an opportunity to be with her kids and to lead by example! BTW my friend now walks with me for the entire walk!0
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It sure sounds like the mom's are getting defensive about there daughters. And I think it mightbe because they feel responsible for the fact that there kids are so obese. Maybe try saying o the mom "I'm really sorry I offended you, this wasn't my intention at all.Maybe you could try coming with us on our walks and that way if I get to a faster pace then they do then you can be there with them so I'm not so anxious about them being out of my sight" Keep in mind however the mother might feel that when you say "Maybe you could try coming with us on our walks and that way if I get to a faster pace then they do then you can be there with them " that you're implying shes fat too. If this dosent work forget abou them you tried! 0
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if they are 11 or 12, they are old enough not to need to be "watched" persay, how far are u walking? if its just around ur neighborhood, i think they will be okay. just tell them they can go with u, but they have to keep up and let their mom know that u don't mind if they want to tag along, but u are going to go at ur pace and cannot be responsible if they don't stay with u. if they are walking with u consitantly, then they may also build the stamina up to run with u as well.0
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Tell the mother that you meant no offense at all and were only concerned about their safety when they were out of your sight ("the world we live in these days" etc.). Hopefully, she will realize that you weren't making a commentary on their health but were only looking out for them the way that she would want you to when she trusts you with her babies.
If you want to invite them to go with you, either (a) walk with them first and then after you take them home go on your "real" fitness walk - use the walk with them as a warm up or (b) walk with them after your "real" fitness walk and use the walk with them as your cool down - you could even incorporate some stretching at the end of the walk, which would be good for them too.
Eventually, their fitness will improve and they will be able to keep up.0 -
Wlk for 10 minutes with them, as a warm up for you, then drop them home and go as far and as fast as you like! You're doing it for exercise after all not just to see what's what.0
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If they have bikes they could ride their bikes to keep up with you0
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chances are... the mom will not help.
If it was anyone else besides a couple of kids, I'd say tough luck. HOWEVER, they are MORBIDLY obese at ages 11 and 12. IF no one takes time for them to teach them how to eat and exercise, they are going to be in even worse shape later. It also sounds like you might be their only role model in that area. As an adult, you have a responsibility to teach them and if they are willing to exercise with you, then you need to take time for them. If that means slowing your own weight loss by a fraction for a few months until they can build the stamina to hang with you, then so be it.
Otherwise, take separate walks, but you have to help them.
^^THIS. Those poor kids don't stand a chance without you.0 -
When you get too far ahead of them, loop around at the pace that you want to go. Walk back toward them, pass them going the opposite direction, then turn around, catch up with them and pass them. You get to go the pace you want because you walk farther than they do, but you all stay within a safe distance.
Problem solved.0
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