Maybe I'm Afraid

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My boyfriend and I were having a discussion this morning about how we always get going so good on our diet and then gain a few lbs. Gain, lose, gain, lose. Over and over for almost two months. We are both very close to our goal weight, but it seems like we're actually afraid to get down to it. I don't know why. Does anyone else get like this? Are we just weird? -.-

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  • oboeing
    oboeing Posts: 1,816 Member
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    i'm not close to my goal anymore... but i was once. and i did the same thing. and it took me months to get back on the bandwagon, like i had to tell myself i was worth taking care of. i don't know why i'm afraid of taking it off and getting there. maybe it's because it means admitting that can let my insecurities of the past go, and that means changing my entire outlook... i don't know how to be proud or confident. i fake them well, but i don't know how to actually BE them. it's unexplored territory for me...

    and i always felt like no one else would ever understand this...
  • csswim
    csswim Posts: 2 Member
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    I hadn't thought that I might be afraid, but I'm not sure where my mind is. I know I need to lose weight to help relieve the weight on my joints with Rheumatoid Arthritis and fibromyalgia. I did really well the 1st two months with weight loss of 10 pounds, that was in June. I now have gained that 10 back plus 4 more! It seems like as soon as I emphasize trying to lose weight, that's when I gain it. Don't know why I sabotage myself. Anyone else experiencing this? Any ideas out there?
  • oboeing
    oboeing Posts: 1,816 Member
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    and after all the hard work we put in to get us where we want to be, why is the self sabotage so easy?
  • JessaAnn407
    JessaAnn407 Posts: 50 Member
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    I have always been bigger, since I can remember. So I have always been scared to loose the weight. I mean what if I don't look like myself any more (I know I'll look better :)), what if guys start to notice me know I am skinnier, and so many more questions that made me scared to loose the weight. But for me it is all about being healthier so I can spend more time with my nephew and be able to be there for him when he needs me.

    Self sabotage is easy. You can revert back to old habits because it is what you use to do for such a long time it just seems normal to start it back up. For me it isn't about the pounds or inches coming off but how I am feeling. I notice that I can run farther and longer now, have a ton more energy, and are looking to do things I was always scared to do because I was never fit enough. That is what keeps me doing what I am doing, and not going back to what I use to do.
  • KGTraxler
    KGTraxler Posts: 144
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    My boyfriend and I were having a discussion this morning about how we always get going so good on our diet and then gain a few lbs. Gain, lose, gain, lose. Over and over for almost two months. We are both very close to our goal weight, but it seems like we're actually afraid to get down to it. I don't know why. Does anyone else get like this? Are we just weird? -.-

    I've definitely been afraid. I think it's good that both of you can be so insightful about it; it took me awhile to figure it out! I associated being happy with being thinner. That scared me because what if I got down to my goal weight and I still wasn't happy? When would the "goal weight" be enough? I associated happiness with being "thin". I'm not saying that this is something you are suffering with at all; I'm just saying that I can relate to being afraid because that's how I used to be, and something I still struggle with. I would self sabotage so eat a lot or stop working out just so I could say that I caused myself to fail because I didn't want to try my hardest and not be happy. So ultimately, the fear I struggle with is doing everything I'm supposed to do to lose weight and be healthy and happy, yet I still don't get there.