I need everyone's help

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  • bp716
    bp716 Posts: 68 Member
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    There are not many teens who are happy with their bodies...this is a time of comparison and criticism unfortunately. Perhaps find the things in her that are beautiful and help her to focus on those?
  • fitfunnygal
    fitfunnygal Posts: 40
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    Not enough info - is it really excessive? Is it muscle? Is she still proportionate?

    MY first observation - why are you trying to get your physically active daughter info on how to trim down? especially if she is not overweight? Is this a healthy way to address this?


    No it's not really excesive, and yes I think this is a healthy way to address this, it's not the first time she has asked this and I thought well I'm on this new site where all these people are getting healthy maybe they can help. :(
  • pookeyism
    pookeyism Posts: 84 Member
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    Yea her and I have talked about that alot. She just had someone say she was fat so that just upset her. I will try everything you all have said, see if that works.


    I just don't like to see my daughter upset. I have had weight issues most of my life and don't want her to grow up hating her body.

    You should probably talk to her about letting other people's comments define how she will spend her life - which this is what is happening. If she responds to everyone who has an opinon of her she will self destruct.

    I still find concern that you are looking for a solution to her "weight problem" that isn't, when you should probably be looking to teach her to have confidence.

    I will be extremely frank here, and those that know me elsewhere know I rarely take this posture - I think you are transposing, and I seriously wonder if your daughter had/has as much of a problem with it as you do...this post feels odd...
  • fitfunnygal
    fitfunnygal Posts: 40
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    There are not many teens who are happy with their bodies...this is a time of comparison and criticism unfortunately. Perhaps find the things in her that are beautiful and help her to focus on those?


    Been there done that.
  • fitfunnygal
    fitfunnygal Posts: 40
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    Tell her to start lifting weights. Resistance training together with a little bit more food will help her build some muscle.

    thanks we will try that.
  • jennatha
    jennatha Posts: 20
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    squats:)
  • cburky911
    cburky911 Posts: 89 Member
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    No she is skinny everyewhere else. I just need something that will help thin out her thighs.
    Is it possible that it's not a case of her thighs being too big for her body, but rather a situation where her body is too skinny for her thighs? If she's climbing stairs all the time then she's building muscle and toning her thighs, maybe she could benefit more from working on building and toning muscle throughout the rest of her body? Just a thought.
  • fitfunnygal
    fitfunnygal Posts: 40
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    Yea her and I have talked about that alot. She just had someone say she was fat so that just upset her. I will try everything you all have said, see if that works.


    I just don't like to see my daughter upset. I have had weight issues most of my life and don't want her to grow up hating her body.

    You should probably talk to her about letting other people's comments define how she will spend her life - which this is what is happening. If she responds to everyone who has an opinon of her she will self destruct.

    I still find concern that you are looking for a solution to her "weight problem" that isn't, when you should probably be looking to teach her to have confidence.

    I don't mean to be mean or anything but I have done all of that. I'm not asking for things to make her unhealthy just help her with her legs. How can you again say I'm not doing the right thing. You don't know me at all. Like you don't know that I told her not to let anyone have that kind of power over her. Or why should you care what others think. HELLO! I'm a mom! I just want to help her tone up her legs how is that wrong????
  • Dragonflybjm63
    Dragonflybjm63 Posts: 34
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    Pilates would be good, on my first weight loss journey 1 was 110 kgs over a long period of time i became very fit, i went to a healthy 55 kgs I still thought my hips and thighs were big because they were the biggest part of me before i lost weight. I did more running towards the end and this did make a change. Mind you I have just gone through a heart health issue and now i have to start again. The biggest thing you daughter has to love who she is
  • fitfunnygal
    fitfunnygal Posts: 40
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    No she is skinny everyewhere else. I just need something that will help thin out her thighs.
    Is it possible that it's not a case of her thighs being too big for her body, but rather a situation where her body is too skinny for her thighs? If she's climbing stairs all the time then she's building muscle and toning her thighs, maybe she could benefit more from working on building and toning muscle throughout the rest of her body? Just a thought.

    Good idea we might try that.

    I told her when she gets home we will try some of the things on here together and see how it goes.
  • fitfunnygal
    fitfunnygal Posts: 40
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    Pilates would be good, on my first weight loss journey 1 was 110 kgs over a long period of time i became very fit, i went to a healthy 55 kgs I still thought my hips and thighs were big because they were the biggest part of me before i lost weight. I did more running towards the end and this did make a change. Mind you I have just gone through a heart health issue and now i have to start again. The biggest thing you daughter has to love who she is

    I agree 100%. Maybe her trying some of this will help with both her legs and liking that part of her body too!
  • SF2514
    SF2514 Posts: 794 Member
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    I don't think you can target specific areas =). Exercise/losing weight over all will help though.
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Yes she plays scoccer and she also walks up and down tons of stairs while at school. Loves to swim too. I just don't get why the rest of her is so skinny and not her legs.

    Are her legs actually fat, or are they big with muscle?

    Ultimately, she's going to have to learn to love her body the way it is. There are some things that just can't be changed. I have a large frame, big-ish hips, big thighs, huge knees, but my upper body is smaller. I was always frustrated that I'd never have super model legs and that I wasn't tall enough to be a professional ballet dancer. But, that's just how I'm built. I can reduce my body fat, but the overall shape is always going to be the same. I am what I am.
  • lizzyliz79
    lizzyliz79 Posts: 43 Member
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    My body is like that too, and the only thing that has ever helped me is running! Run, run, run!:smile:
  • pookeyism
    pookeyism Posts: 84 Member
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    Yea her and I have talked about that alot. She just had someone say she was fat so that just upset her. I will try everything you all have said, see if that works.


    I just don't like to see my daughter upset. I have had weight issues most of my life and don't want her to grow up hating her body.

    You should probably talk to her about letting other people's comments define how she will spend her life - which this is what is happening. If she responds to everyone who has an opinon of her she will self destruct.

    I still find concern that you are looking for a solution to her "weight problem" that isn't, when you should probably be looking to teach her to have confidence.

    I don't mean to be mean or anything but I have done all of that. I'm not asking for things to make her unhealthy just help her with her legs. How can you again say I'm not doing the right thing. You don't know me at all. Like you don't know that I told her not to let anyone have that kind of power over her. Or why should you care what others think. HELLO! I'm a mom! I just want to help her tone up her legs how is that wrong????

    You don't seem to mind the other people who don't know you at all giving advice - you actually got on here and solicited it. Now you have someone who is offering a response at an angle that you don't like - that maybe it isn't her.

    It, too is just a suggestion - but done mostly to gauge your response to someone being critical of you...Maybe, just maybe it is something you could take note of.

    Off my soapbox, and back in my corner...but seriously, the best to you, or I wouldn't have tried.
  • Monalisa85
    Monalisa85 Posts: 31 Member
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    Hi,
    I read through all the comments/helpful hints and they are all great! But sometimes our kids get the very things that make them, them, pointed out by others due to the others insecurities and their attempts to make us feel bad about ourselves. I say that cause the very thing girls picked on me on when I was her age, were my thighs and let me tell you, later on in years, that was the very thing I got compliments on! I'm 57 and still have those muscular thighs and my 2 daughters, ages 34 and 36, LOVE to brag on MAMA's thighs and they get compliments on theirs and they know where they got them! But I also have granddaughter at 15 and I do not like what peers do to each other.

    :o)
  • kristi5224
    kristi5224 Posts: 98 Member
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    the ist thing you can do for her is show her that every body is different and every body is beautiful.
    I am 5'8". I will never be petite, but I have long legs and a curvy figure.
    My husband is 5'5" he will never be tall. But he us 51 and has the body of a teen ager. Hot.
    That being said.
    Ballet and stretching, yoga and Pilates will help shape her thighs and core. These things will also support her honoring her body and her self esteem. She is too young too be self acutualized on her own. Do not feed into a negative body image form a teenage girl.
  • pamelak5
    pamelak5 Posts: 327 Member
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    Yea her and I have talked about that alot. She just had someone say she was fat so that just upset her. I will try everything you all have said, see if that works.


    I just don't like to see my daughter upset. I have had weight issues most of my life and don't want her to grow up hating her body.

    You should probably talk to her about letting other people's comments define how she will spend her life - which this is what is happening. If she responds to everyone who has an opinon of her she will self destruct.

    I still find concern that you are looking for a solution to her "weight problem" that isn't, when you should probably be looking to teach her to have confidence.

    I don't mean to be mean or anything but I have done all of that. I'm not asking for things to make her unhealthy just help her with her legs. How can you again say I'm not doing the right thing. You don't know me at all. Like you don't know that I told her not to let anyone have that kind of power over her. Or why should you care what others think. HELLO! I'm a mom! I just want to help her tone up her legs how is that wrong????

    I am a mom, too, so I totally know where you're coming from - you don't want to see your kid upset EVER! Still, I think that by "helping" her with her legs, you are basically telling her that the other kids are right - there is something wrong with her body. Do you want to tell your daughter there is something wrong with her body? Probably not. You telling her that there is something wrong with her body will stick with her for the rest of her life - you have so much more influence than some insecure girl at school!

    Something that my dad used to tell me that I really appreciated - that our bodies have a "thermostat" - if we treat our bodies well, exercise and eat well, they are going to look a certain way. If you mistreat your body (with bad habits, or not eating enough) your health will suffer. I really liked that and carry that thought with me.
  • alaynarobinson1
    alaynarobinson1 Posts: 4
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    I had larger legs when I was a kid as well. I played sports and I remember finding someone to relate too cured my self-consciousness issues . Maybe take her to a WNBA game or something (those girls have big legs) or even have her watch track & field games, the Olympics are coming on. (Lolo Jones has huge legs) If she can't help the way her body is proportioned I would try to find someone to relate to.
  • fitfunnygal
    fitfunnygal Posts: 40
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    Yea her and I have talked about that alot. She just had someone say she was fat so that just upset her. I will try everything you all have said, see if that works.


    I just don't like to see my daughter upset. I have had weight issues most of my life and don't want her to grow up hating her body.

    You should probably talk to her about letting other people's comments define how she will spend her life - which this is what is happening. If she responds to everyone who has an opinon of her she will self destruct.

    I still find concern that you are looking for a solution to her "weight problem" that isn't, when you should probably be looking to teach her to have confidence.

    I don't mean to be mean or anything but I have done all of that. I'm not asking for things to make her unhealthy just help her with her legs. How can you again say I'm not doing the right thing. You don't know me at all. Like you don't know that I told her not to let anyone have that kind of power over her. Or why should you care what others think. HELLO! I'm a mom! I just want to help her tone up her legs how is that wrong????

    You don't seem to mind the other people who don't know you at all giving advice - you actually got on here and solicited it. Now you have someone who is offering a response at an angle that you don't like - that maybe it isn't her.

    It, too is just a suggestion - but done mostly to gauge your response to someone being critical of you...Maybe, just maybe it is something you could take note of.

    Off my soapbox, and back in my corner...but seriously, the best to you, or I wouldn't have tried.

    I had a problem with how you siad it. I don't see how a parent could not tell her child how beautiful she is or how she doesn't need to worry about what others think. For me you hit a sore note. Like I said not to be mean or anything. All I wanted was some exercise ideas to help her legs.

    I had a low self esteem all my life and I don't want her to have one so I tell her all the time how cute and prety she is, others have also told her that. If I can get her some things that can help with her legs how is that bad????

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