I need everyone's help

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Replies

  • fitfunnygal
    fitfunnygal Posts: 40
    Pilates would be good, on my first weight loss journey 1 was 110 kgs over a long period of time i became very fit, i went to a healthy 55 kgs I still thought my hips and thighs were big because they were the biggest part of me before i lost weight. I did more running towards the end and this did make a change. Mind you I have just gone through a heart health issue and now i have to start again. The biggest thing you daughter has to love who she is

    I agree 100%. Maybe her trying some of this will help with both her legs and liking that part of her body too!
  • SF2514
    SF2514 Posts: 794 Member
    I don't think you can target specific areas =). Exercise/losing weight over all will help though.
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    Yes she plays scoccer and she also walks up and down tons of stairs while at school. Loves to swim too. I just don't get why the rest of her is so skinny and not her legs.

    Are her legs actually fat, or are they big with muscle?

    Ultimately, she's going to have to learn to love her body the way it is. There are some things that just can't be changed. I have a large frame, big-ish hips, big thighs, huge knees, but my upper body is smaller. I was always frustrated that I'd never have super model legs and that I wasn't tall enough to be a professional ballet dancer. But, that's just how I'm built. I can reduce my body fat, but the overall shape is always going to be the same. I am what I am.
  • lizzyliz79
    lizzyliz79 Posts: 43 Member
    My body is like that too, and the only thing that has ever helped me is running! Run, run, run!:smile:
  • pookeyism
    pookeyism Posts: 84 Member
    Yea her and I have talked about that alot. She just had someone say she was fat so that just upset her. I will try everything you all have said, see if that works.


    I just don't like to see my daughter upset. I have had weight issues most of my life and don't want her to grow up hating her body.

    You should probably talk to her about letting other people's comments define how she will spend her life - which this is what is happening. If she responds to everyone who has an opinon of her she will self destruct.

    I still find concern that you are looking for a solution to her "weight problem" that isn't, when you should probably be looking to teach her to have confidence.

    I don't mean to be mean or anything but I have done all of that. I'm not asking for things to make her unhealthy just help her with her legs. How can you again say I'm not doing the right thing. You don't know me at all. Like you don't know that I told her not to let anyone have that kind of power over her. Or why should you care what others think. HELLO! I'm a mom! I just want to help her tone up her legs how is that wrong????

    You don't seem to mind the other people who don't know you at all giving advice - you actually got on here and solicited it. Now you have someone who is offering a response at an angle that you don't like - that maybe it isn't her.

    It, too is just a suggestion - but done mostly to gauge your response to someone being critical of you...Maybe, just maybe it is something you could take note of.

    Off my soapbox, and back in my corner...but seriously, the best to you, or I wouldn't have tried.
  • Monalisa85
    Monalisa85 Posts: 31 Member
    Hi,
    I read through all the comments/helpful hints and they are all great! But sometimes our kids get the very things that make them, them, pointed out by others due to the others insecurities and their attempts to make us feel bad about ourselves. I say that cause the very thing girls picked on me on when I was her age, were my thighs and let me tell you, later on in years, that was the very thing I got compliments on! I'm 57 and still have those muscular thighs and my 2 daughters, ages 34 and 36, LOVE to brag on MAMA's thighs and they get compliments on theirs and they know where they got them! But I also have granddaughter at 15 and I do not like what peers do to each other.

    :o)
  • kristi5224
    kristi5224 Posts: 98 Member
    the ist thing you can do for her is show her that every body is different and every body is beautiful.
    I am 5'8". I will never be petite, but I have long legs and a curvy figure.
    My husband is 5'5" he will never be tall. But he us 51 and has the body of a teen ager. Hot.
    That being said.
    Ballet and stretching, yoga and Pilates will help shape her thighs and core. These things will also support her honoring her body and her self esteem. She is too young too be self acutualized on her own. Do not feed into a negative body image form a teenage girl.
  • pamelak5
    pamelak5 Posts: 327 Member
    Yea her and I have talked about that alot. She just had someone say she was fat so that just upset her. I will try everything you all have said, see if that works.


    I just don't like to see my daughter upset. I have had weight issues most of my life and don't want her to grow up hating her body.

    You should probably talk to her about letting other people's comments define how she will spend her life - which this is what is happening. If she responds to everyone who has an opinon of her she will self destruct.

    I still find concern that you are looking for a solution to her "weight problem" that isn't, when you should probably be looking to teach her to have confidence.

    I don't mean to be mean or anything but I have done all of that. I'm not asking for things to make her unhealthy just help her with her legs. How can you again say I'm not doing the right thing. You don't know me at all. Like you don't know that I told her not to let anyone have that kind of power over her. Or why should you care what others think. HELLO! I'm a mom! I just want to help her tone up her legs how is that wrong????

    I am a mom, too, so I totally know where you're coming from - you don't want to see your kid upset EVER! Still, I think that by "helping" her with her legs, you are basically telling her that the other kids are right - there is something wrong with her body. Do you want to tell your daughter there is something wrong with her body? Probably not. You telling her that there is something wrong with her body will stick with her for the rest of her life - you have so much more influence than some insecure girl at school!

    Something that my dad used to tell me that I really appreciated - that our bodies have a "thermostat" - if we treat our bodies well, exercise and eat well, they are going to look a certain way. If you mistreat your body (with bad habits, or not eating enough) your health will suffer. I really liked that and carry that thought with me.
  • alaynarobinson1
    alaynarobinson1 Posts: 4
    I had larger legs when I was a kid as well. I played sports and I remember finding someone to relate too cured my self-consciousness issues . Maybe take her to a WNBA game or something (those girls have big legs) or even have her watch track & field games, the Olympics are coming on. (Lolo Jones has huge legs) If she can't help the way her body is proportioned I would try to find someone to relate to.
  • fitfunnygal
    fitfunnygal Posts: 40
    Yea her and I have talked about that alot. She just had someone say she was fat so that just upset her. I will try everything you all have said, see if that works.


    I just don't like to see my daughter upset. I have had weight issues most of my life and don't want her to grow up hating her body.

    You should probably talk to her about letting other people's comments define how she will spend her life - which this is what is happening. If she responds to everyone who has an opinon of her she will self destruct.

    I still find concern that you are looking for a solution to her "weight problem" that isn't, when you should probably be looking to teach her to have confidence.

    I don't mean to be mean or anything but I have done all of that. I'm not asking for things to make her unhealthy just help her with her legs. How can you again say I'm not doing the right thing. You don't know me at all. Like you don't know that I told her not to let anyone have that kind of power over her. Or why should you care what others think. HELLO! I'm a mom! I just want to help her tone up her legs how is that wrong????

    You don't seem to mind the other people who don't know you at all giving advice - you actually got on here and solicited it. Now you have someone who is offering a response at an angle that you don't like - that maybe it isn't her.

    It, too is just a suggestion - but done mostly to gauge your response to someone being critical of you...Maybe, just maybe it is something you could take note of.

    Off my soapbox, and back in my corner...but seriously, the best to you, or I wouldn't have tried.

    I had a problem with how you siad it. I don't see how a parent could not tell her child how beautiful she is or how she doesn't need to worry about what others think. For me you hit a sore note. Like I said not to be mean or anything. All I wanted was some exercise ideas to help her legs.

    I had a low self esteem all my life and I don't want her to have one so I tell her all the time how cute and prety she is, others have also told her that. If I can get her some things that can help with her legs how is that bad????
  • fitfunnygal
    fitfunnygal Posts: 40
    Yea her and I have talked about that alot. She just had someone say she was fat so that just upset her. I will try everything you all have said, see if that works.


    I just don't like to see my daughter upset. I have had weight issues most of my life and don't want her to grow up hating her body.

    You should probably talk to her about letting other people's comments define how she will spend her life - which this is what is happening. If she responds to everyone who has an opinon of her she will self destruct.

    I still find concern that you are looking for a solution to her "weight problem" that isn't, when you should probably be looking to teach her to have confidence.

    I don't mean to be mean or anything but I have done all of that. I'm not asking for things to make her unhealthy just help her with her legs. How can you again say I'm not doing the right thing. You don't know me at all. Like you don't know that I told her not to let anyone have that kind of power over her. Or why should you care what others think. HELLO! I'm a mom! I just want to help her tone up her legs how is that wrong????

    I am a mom, too, so I totally know where you're coming from - you don't want to see your kid upset EVER! Still, I think that by "helping" her with her legs, you are basically telling her that the other kids are right - there is something wrong with her body. Do you want to tell your daughter there is something wrong with her body? Probably not. You telling her that there is something wrong with her body will stick with her for the rest of her life - you have so much more influence than some insecure girl at school!

    Something that my dad used to tell me that I really appreciated - that our bodies have a "thermostat" - if we treat our bodies well, exercise and eat well, they are going to look a certain way. If you mistreat your body (with bad habits, or not eating enough) your health will suffer. I really liked that and carry that thought with me.

    Thanks for that! I don't want her to feel that people are right about her being fat. I told her she wasn't. We have had this talk about her legs for a long time. I tell her you are who you are. I don't get why helping her get heathy a bad thing. I don't want her to end up with a weight problem like I have. I try to support her as much as I can.

    I don't want to hurt her. Crap now what??
  • fitfunnygal
    fitfunnygal Posts: 40
    I had larger legs when I was a kid as well. I played sports and I remember finding someone to relate too cured my self-consciousness issues . Maybe take her to a WNBA game or something (those girls have big legs) or even have her watch track & field games, the Olympics are coming on. (Lolo Jones has huge legs) If she can't help the way her body is proportioned I would try to find someone to relate to.

    Good idea we will do that. thanks
  • chlorisaann
    chlorisaann Posts: 366 Member
    Yea her and I have talked about that alot. She just had someone say she was fat so that just upset her. I will try everything you all have said, see if that works.


    I just don't like to see my daughter upset. I have had weight issues most of my life and don't want her to grow up hating her body.

    My baby sister was a power lifter in HS, so her legs were very thick, but all muscle... When some snarky little thing commented to her that she needed to lose weight in her thighs, she raised her skirt a bit tapped hard on her thigh and asked the girl what fat she was supposed to lose, since there was NO jiggle!! they left her alone after that... They are just trying to get a rise out of her... She has to not let them....
  • fitfunnygal
    fitfunnygal Posts: 40
    Hi,
    I read through all the comments/helpful hints and they are all great! But sometimes our kids get the very things that make them, them, pointed out by others due to the others insecurities and their attempts to make us feel bad about ourselves. I say that cause the very thing girls picked on me on when I was her age, were my thighs and let me tell you, later on in years, that was the very thing I got compliments on! I'm 57 and still have those muscular thighs and my 2 daughters, ages 34 and 36, LOVE to brag on MAMA's thighs and they get compliments on theirs and they know where they got them! But I also have granddaughter at 15 and I do not like what peers do to each other.

    :o)

    Me either. I can't believe the mean things girls say to eachother. She knows how cute and sweet she is. Just gets to her every now and then, but her legs are one thing she keeps going back to.
  • fitfunnygal
    fitfunnygal Posts: 40
    Yea her and I have talked about that alot. She just had someone say she was fat so that just upset her. I will try everything you all have said, see if that works.


    I just don't like to see my daughter upset. I have had weight issues most of my life and don't want her to grow up hating her body.

    My baby sister was a power lifter in HS, so her legs were very thick, but all muscle... When some snarky little thing commented to her that she needed to lose weight in her thighs, she raised her skirt a bit tapped hard on her thigh and asked the girl what fat she was supposed to lose, since there was NO jiggle!! they left her alone after that... They are just trying to get a rise out of her... She has to not let them....


    LOL love it! thanks for sharing that.
  • emg9
    emg9 Posts: 112
    You can;t target where you lose weight unfortunately, you just need to take one step at a time, lose a bit of weight through eating healthily and excersize and you'll notice weight loss in those certain areas eventually. She can tone up in those certain areas though which will help them feel slightly firmer, with a set of hand weights and youtube vids. but it really does need to go hand in hand with weight loss for anything beneficial.
  • sdb214
    sdb214 Posts: 5
    I believe it is her athletic build. My daughter plays softball and she is actually really tiny except her butt and legs. She used to hate it but now that she is 17, she is much more comfortable in her own skin. All you can do is keep encouraging her and telling her she is beautiful! Good luck!
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    I'm going to say give her a shot of self confidence.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    I would show her female athletes with awesome accomplishments and tell her how proud you are that she is strong and beautiful and can use her body to do amazing things like these spectacular women. Validate that it's hard to be a woman in today's society and that people can be cruel. If you don't, she will just think that you are flattering her or just don't get it.
  • fitfunnygal
    fitfunnygal Posts: 40
    I would show her female athletes with awesome accomplishments and tell her how proud you are that she is strong and beautiful and can use her body to do amazing things like these spectacular women. Validate that it's hard to be a woman in today's society and that people can be cruel. If you don't, she will just think that you are flattering her or just don't get it.

    You hit the nail on the hammer with this thanks. I can tell her all the time how beautiful she is and she says you're my mom you're suppose to say that.

    I just don't want her to keep putting down her legs if there is something I can do to help.
  • pamelak5
    pamelak5 Posts: 327 Member
    I would show her female athletes with awesome accomplishments and tell her how proud you are that she is strong and beautiful and can use her body to do amazing things like these spectacular women. Validate that it's hard to be a woman in today's society and that people can be cruel. If you don't, she will just think that you are flattering her or just don't get it.

    You hit the nail on the hammer with this thanks. I can tell her all the time how beautiful she is and she says you're my mom you're suppose to say that.

    I just don't want her to keep putting down her legs if there is something I can do to help.

    I think that not saying anything is not a bad idea. The best you can do is tell her, over and over, her body is just fine the way it is, and what you can do with your body is so much more important than how it looks, regardless. I wouldn't even acknowledge that her legs are at all problematic!
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