I want a new way to deal with relationships that are painful

katznketo
katznketo Posts: 323 Member
edited September 20 in Motivation and Support
I know a lot of people must have come to a more mature decision than eating when hurt by others. I am 55 and have been dealing with being hurt by others by eating since I was 10 years old and my mom dumped me and my brother three states away with a grandmother who hated us.

Sounds sad? Yeah, well it's time to move on and get over it. And I'm trying.

This time of year seems to be hard on everyone. Family members seriously ill. Financial problems. I understand, life gets hard. But I have had my load full this holiday with a certain person in my family who likes to take verbal stabs at me. I am picking at food. Not doing any damage other than I'm sure it's slowing down my weight loss.

And I am kind of proud that I am doing better than usual. But even though I'm not bingeing, I am reacting with food. kc

Replies

  • MadWorld
    MadWorld Posts: 200
    You know what? I agree fully.

    The best thing you can do in situations that are painful is take care of you. Realize that it is what it is.

    It's taken me a long time to understand that. I can say that I've been through hellandback. I'm not going there again-- not for anyone.

    That person that keeps taking stabs at you-- let it roll, honey. Let it roll. I've got a certain someone who does the same. I could get on his level or worse-- but, I'm not-- because I know who I am at this point in my life.

    Hang tough and keep your head held high.
  • melody6387
    melody6387 Posts: 49
    Try long walks.. with the boys maybe!! i know kids love the outdoors. Plan things with them to take your mind off of the food. Does the writing help? I'm hoping some one could give you some better suggestions, but these are just a couple.
  • betterwork2
    betterwork2 Posts: 3
    When you want to grab food in these situations, maybe try the following:

    1) Wait for 20 minutes. If you still want it after that, have it, but try to have a reasonable portion.

    2) Have something, but try to make it a healthier substitute.

    3) Try exercising to get rid of your frustration instead of eating in response to it. For me, working out because I'm dealing with anger/frustration is when I get in some of my best cardio.

    Hope this helps. :flowerforyou:
  • breezy81
    breezy81 Posts: 186
    I am the same way and this time of year the gloves are off. My hubby and my family get me every time, they just don't get along and he hates being around them!! Granted they are hard to deal with but I do love them(I mean it's my mother). So we have been at each other all day.

    I want to eat some cookies so bad!!!!! That is what I always do when stressed, today I turned here instead and didn't eat. I have also found popping in my ipod and hitting the treadmill help a lot, after sweating it out I don't need to eat it out. If you still have hard time try rinsing mouth with scope, the taste deters from food!!!
  • katznketo
    katznketo Posts: 323 Member
    I am so glad I wrote about this problem. Thank you so much. Just writing to me makes me feel like I'm cared about. I have pretty much tried to put a smile on my face today. When (it) got home, I put dinner on the table and smiled for the kids. After I cleaned up, I stuck to my room.

    Not so bad. I got a computer and TV. And when I came out, I smiled and acted fine. I just don't plan to associate anymore with someone who wants to take out his pain on me. I am going to try each one of your suggesstions. The scope is a great idea.

    I ask any of you who want to please pray for us. I have great faith but right now it's hard to seek with a whole heart. I am going to fight the urge to eat and going to go to bed a bit hungry. thanks to all, kc
  • courtney_love2001
    courtney_love2001 Posts: 1,468 Member
    I am praying for you tonight, kc. My family went through this not too long ago so I know where you're coming from (from your kids' perspective perhaps). I wish you peace and strength!
  • breezy81
    breezy81 Posts: 186


    And I am kind of proud that I am doing better than usual. But even though I'm not bingeing, I am reacting with food. kc


    Be Damn proud of how good you are doing!! You don't say who it is, and I wont ask, but if it's in your home, it may be time to get help or get out!! If not, sometimes it helps to talk, we are all here on the board or to be added as friends. Take care of you. I have someone who puts me down but the fact is I am the most stable one in my family(as far as $, marriage and well being) I say to hell with the rest of them, they can get over or move on. Corny as it sounds, I LOVE ME!!!!!!:heart::smooched: :heart:
  • MadWorld
    MadWorld Posts: 200
    Thinking of you today.... :flowerforyou:
  • rheign
    rheign Posts: 56
    How about telling the person "you know, that really hurts" or "It hurts me when you say such things. I need you to refrain from such remarks". If you've tried letting them know but they don't get it or don't care, throw a zinger back! Sometimes you have to speak their language. If they're just an *kitten* and insist on this negative behavior, perhaps its time to remove them from your life. TAKE CARE OF YOU!
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    I think builders should be required to put a punching bag in every house built. When I'm angry or hurt or sad, I'd love to be able to run off my emotions (the pain of running is so carthetic) but I can't up and leave every time I'm angry. However, I would be able to take a 5 minute break to punch the he!! out of a bag!! Burn off anger and calories all at once. Would be a great release for me.

    I'm battling with avoiding emotional eating too. It's hard. I wish you well, KC!
  • dporter1183
    dporter1183 Posts: 154 Member
    Keep your head up KC. do something that makes YOU feel good. Go to the gym, go get your nails done, buy a nice shirt, etc......

    Good luck and I'll be thinking of you!:flowerforyou:
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