Walking Away Was The Hardest Thing

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  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Sweetheart do not be weak if he does try to contact you. You can do this. I KNOW it is so hard. I see this anguish on people daily.
    But by moving on you are bettering yourself and your life.


    Find a new hobby to engross yourself in.

    Think how much better it will be, to be over this with a new hobby and a great life a year from now.

    Rather than posting the same thread...again.

    Also you can message me any time if you feel the need. I'm a pretty good listener and can give some pretty good advice.
  • ktbug1186
    ktbug1186 Posts: 266
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    oh hon..I've been there. it's agony.

    For me, I would go out with friends to try to distract myself..but no matter how much they tried to cheer me up, he was always on my mind, I would just be waiting for the night o end so I could go home and cry, because that's what I had been wanting to do all night.

    Nights were torture, I would just lay in bed thinking about how much I miss him. I would look at my phone every few minutes, thinking how I was never going to hear from him again. It hurt SO bad, I always had the urge to cry 24/7.

    He also emailed me trying to be friends...I never responded, deleted all his texts, and his number, and threw out everything that reminded me of him.

    It took me literally one year to stop thinking about him and being depressed. And then one day I realized..I haven't thought about him all day. Now that I was out of the relationship, and I had time to heal, I started to see the glaring flaws that were in the relationship and why I was so much better off without him.

    I'm so sorry your going through this honey, all I can say is it WILL get better. It will take time, and it will seem like you wil always feel this pain, but it goes away. Time heals all things.

    Good luck honey!!
  • Polarfire6
    Polarfire6 Posts: 15
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    I'm a couple of years down the track from you though my rollercoaster went for 9 years. You should be proud of yourself that you left. One thing that helped me early on was that when I was missing my ex I would think about whether it really was something about my ex that I missed, or something about being in a relationship. If it was something about being in a relationship I would know that what I was missing wasn't really my ex which helped. If it was something about my ex that I missed, I would think of 3 things that I didn't miss about him (eg his friends, his whingeing about his work, his obsession with politics etc). I just kept focussing on the stuff I didn't miss and was glad to have out of my life.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    I went through a breakup recently with a guy I loved more than I knew I was capable of. We left in the same way, still loving each other. We decided to cut off all contact for a few months to heal. And you're right, it does feel like a death. Someone who was there all the time, someone you poured yourself into caring for, is no longer there. And you have to go through the mourning process.

    Allow yourself to cry and be sad. There's probably that little girl in you that hoped for a fairy tale ending, and it hurts to have things fall apart. Don't try to logic yourself out of being upset. Feel the emotion and the pain.

    And feel the anger too. I know it doesn't always come naturally, but you deserve to be treated much better! Make yourself think and make a list of the crap he put you through. I've found that the balance of anger and sadness gets me though.

    Just don't try to ignore it. You'll need to process through this at one point or another, so don't bottle it up. Better to get over him sooner than later, and to do that, you'll need to go through the pain. And I don't know what you're religious beliefs are, but I've found this verse very comforting:

    "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed." Psalm 34:18. Pray to God, He hears you
  • ethansmug
    ethansmug Posts: 159 Member
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    Yesterday I walked away from the man I love. After a year of his inability to commit and his hot and cold behaviour I left. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I have never loved a man with so much passion before in my life. I feel like he died. So I am treating it like that. I am treating it as if he is dead. Is that wrong of me to do?

    Any tips on how to get over him?


    I Feel like I have to make this same step soon (mine being walking away from a woman) and it is killing me inside. I love her with everything that is in me, but I feel as though I will never be worthy in her eyes, so the only logical step is to remove myself froom the situation.

    I actually have tears in my eyes as I type this simply because I don't want it to end this way...or end at all for that matter.
  • Onira76
    Onira76 Posts: 53 Member
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    Yesterday I walked away from the man I love. After a year of his inability to commit and his hot and cold behaviour I left. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I have never loved a man with so much passion before in my life. I feel like he died. So I am treating it like that. I am treating it as if he is dead. Is that wrong of me to do?

    Any tips on how to get over him?


    I Feel like I have to make this same step soon (mine being walking away from a woman) and it is killing me inside. I love her with everything that is in me, but I feel as though I will never be worthy in her eyes, so the only logical step is to remove myself froom the situation.

    I actually have tears in my eyes as I type this simply because I don't want it to end this way...or end at all for that matter.

    I know how you feel. I am not mad at him or angry and i wish it ended on a bad note so I can just use that. Those times when it was good it was amazing. It was bliss it was euphoric. It just hurts and me sitting here wondering what he is doing and thinking and all that i know doesnt help but I cant help it.
  • Onira76
    Onira76 Posts: 53 Member
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    THANK YOU!!!! to everyone that replied. I didnt expect such a response thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm overwhelmed at your kindness to a complete stranger. THANK YOU!!!
  • Notorious_T
    Notorious_T Posts: 384
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    Umm he's not dead...it's a ****ing breakup...be grateful you had the power to make that choice...in no way can you compare the two things...

    That being said focus on you and do what's best for yourself.
  • Onira76
    Onira76 Posts: 53 Member
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    Umm he's not dead...it's a ****ing breakup...be grateful you had the power to make that choice...in no way can you compare the two things...

    That being said focus on you and do what's best for yourself.

    Well I have lost both my parents and the pain feels the same to me. So...

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