Difficulties

I have always had a horrible relationship with food, and rouble with my weight. When I was a kid, I was told to finish everything on my plate, but I would be given adult portions, and be left to sit at the table until I had finished my meal. This had caused me to gain more weight than what is healthy for a kid as well as having difficulties to not finish my plate, even if i am full.
Then a couple of years later I had developed an eating disorder, closer to anorexia, but I was never diagnosed it because I was too fat to be considered ill. I also had my father picking at my imperfections, telling me i was too spotty (I was just going through puberty), too fat, my hair wasn't right, those clothes don't look nice on you, that i had low scores in school, that i was dumb. As soon as I picked up my grades, being one of the top of my class, it was all about my image, mostly about my weight, which didn't help the problems i already had with food and my own image. He said I was too fat, I should do more exercise, if i really wanted a portion of that size, if i really wanted that as a meal, that i shouldn't be this fat for my age, that when he was my age he wasn't that fat. This went on for a few years, in which I had developed depression, and attempted suicide multiple times.
Finally, in my last year of high school, I began to properly lose weight. I exercised every day for an hour and a half, ran, cycled and walked whenever i could. I ate healthy foods, no sugar, and very little fat for a year. And I lost a lot of weight, and I was starting to feel happy with how I looked (not meaning I was 100% pleased, but i felt better about myself than I previously did).
But then I moved country, and went to a university, and I was far away from any family support. And I became very depressed again, and I started to cut myself. My eating disorder started up again, and I would eat a can of tomato soup a day and some coffee, and that would be it. My weight yoyo-ed like crazy this last year in uni. I have gained a total of 35 pounds since summer. I'm still trying to recover, i know that. But I know I will always have difficulty with food. Mainly because, I will want to lose weight again, that's why I'm here, but I know that it will be so easy for me to slide back to where I was.
Anyway, it's not that I expect any sympathy, I just have told one very important person this story, the whole story, but it is key to being successful with my weight loss. I also thought that this would be the place to get support, as although it is anonymous, it is a collection of people with the same target. So thank you all for being here.