New Lifestyle-or eating disorder?

2

Replies

  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Wow I know what you mean, I can see it in my wives eyes each time I bring up foods and calories. I'm trying to work on my food diary a day early so I have an idea of how much I can eat and if I exercise I know those calories will go down too. Good luck

    How many wives do you have? :noway: :tongue: :laugh:

    Sorry, couldn't resist. :bigsmile:
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    I think anyone who can afford to visit their doctor and get a referral to a nutritionist for personalized sessions and plans should do so because it's a fine line between being effective and being obessive. Everything I've read recently on weight loss says that if you are or have been overweight it's really hard to get and stay at a healthy weight. So obsessing is sadly a natural reaction to having to stay on top of your habits, thought processes, and foods. It sucks, get any help you can afford to get!

    The saddest thing about my situation is that I am a dietitian. I know what healthy eating is. I've also had type I/Juvenile diabetes since I was 15...Doctors have helped me for 13 years figure out how to eat healthy and they reaffirm every time I go see them that I'm healthy and eating well...I'm wondering if I don't need a shrink more than anything else.

    Nothing wrong with a shrink, either, I guess, especially if you can find one who is familiar with nutrition and eating disorders and who will talk things out with you instead of shoving drugs at you.

    Psychologists cannot prescribe drugs, only psychiatrists can (and do). Find a psychologist. They may or may not recommend medication but a decent one should not try to force them on you if you say you want to explore all other options (such as just therapy) first.
  • Jessicaruby
    Jessicaruby Posts: 881 Member
    bump- i am having the same problems!!!
  • DizzyLinds
    DizzyLinds Posts: 856 Member
    Bump...me too
  • Jesea
    Jesea Posts: 376 Member
    I was starting to have an unhealthy relationship with my scale...I was weighing 3-5 times a day, telling myself that I was only "watching" the fluctuations of the day, and the only one that counted was the first one in the morning. Then when it wasn't moving each morning, I became more and more depressed, even though I know that plateaus are bound to happen. My emotions and self-image were getting all mixed up with the number on the scale, so I had my husband hide it from me about a week and a half ago. Letting go of the scale was hard!

    With your wedding in only a couple of weeks, I would just keep watching your calorie count until the big day, then give yourself permission to relax a little on your honeymoon. When you get back, if you still feel yourself obsessing, maybe it's time for professional help. If you, as a dietitian, know that you're eating properly but still worry over every single calorie, a psychologist might be better able to help you.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,993 Member
    I've been good about tracking my calories daily and trying to avoid certain foods...I exercise almost daily and am almost under my calorie goal.

    However...I've also started cutting back on lots of things...I hardly ever drink alcohol anymore, I eat lots more veggies and a lot less meat...and I also find myself obsessing over whether or not I will go under on calories. I am miserable and feel like a bad person if I don't work out for an hour each day. Indulging in things I used to love makes me feel horribly guilty. I have the MFP app on my smart phone and I am constantly adding any small food I eat (sneaking a grape when I'm packing lunches for my fiancee and myself). I can tell it's starting to wear on him how much I think about my food and exercise.

    I want to know when a person crosses over from trying to lead a healthy lifestyle and lose weight versus when it becomes an obsession/eating disorder.
    If it's ALL you think about every hour, then it's a disorder. If it's just when you eat, then I believe it's discipline.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Wait.... What has happened here??
  • p0pr0cksnc0ke
    p0pr0cksnc0ke Posts: 1,283 Member
    i-hate-being-bipolar-tshirt__94633_std.jpg
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    I've been good about tracking my calories daily and trying to avoid certain foods...I exercise almost daily and am almost under my calorie goal.

    However...I've also started cutting back on lots of things...I hardly ever drink alcohol anymore, I eat lots more veggies and a lot less meat...and I also find myself obsessing over whether or not I will go under on calories. I am miserable and feel like a bad person if I don't work out for an hour each day. Indulging in things I used to love makes me feel horribly guilty. I have the MFP app on my smart phone and I am constantly adding any small food I eat (sneaking a grape when I'm packing lunches for my fiancee and myself). I can tell it's starting to wear on him how much I think about my food and exercise.

    I want to know when a person crosses over from trying to lead a healthy lifestyle and lose weight versus when it becomes an obsession/eating disorder.

    I have two questions:

    1) What foods are you eliminating and why?
    2) Have you ever taken a few days off as a diet break?
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    Just focus on your calorie goal at don't worry so much about what you're actually eating. Sounds like you have enough knowledge that you make healthy choices most of the time, so enjoying a treat once in a while is no big. It's not suddenly going to make you gain.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Planning a wedding is a lot of stress. If you've noticed you're trying to take ultra-control of your diet at this point in time, it may be because you feel like things are so crazy in other parts of your life that you feel the need to compensate. Also, being diabetic, I imagine you've always had to be careful what you ate. You may be taking it to an extreme, though.

    You must remember, balance is important. If you are super-restrictive, then human nature is going to cause you to rebel, and then you suffer guilt from eating something you deem as "bad". You have to be kind to yourself during this process of trying to eat healthier and make exercise a routine. I'd say try to back off a little with the calorie counting and being so hard on yourself, maybe re-evaluate the situation after the wedding. That could be the cause for a lot of your stress right now... if you really do feel this is getting out of hand, it's best to talk to someone, just to figure out where you stand. There is no shame in seeking help if you feel this is really beginning to become an issue.

    Best of luck and congrats on the wedding. :)
  • mom2dms
    mom2dms Posts: 152 Member
    I think, in the beginning, we’re all a little obsessed with tracking our food and exercise. It’s how we begin to make changes in our habits. However, having said that...if it is affecting your life and your relationships, you have stepped into the eating disorder area. Tread lightly and seek help.
    It is ok to workout daily, but make sure that your workouts don’t come at the expense of the rest of your daily normal life. Your muscles need to rest in order to restore themselves after workouts and need “rest” days depending on what you are doing.
    Making good food choices is healthy, dreading having eaten something and berating yourself because of it, is obsessive. If you eat something that is on your “bad” list then you workout extra hard to counteract the food, that’s a disorder.
    You may not be able to correct this behavior yourself, you may need to seek the help of a professional.

    Hope this helps,
    M
  • arathena720
    arathena720 Posts: 449 Member
    I've always been obsessed with food. I'm always thinking about my next meal or my next snack. And I'm very anal about my diary and working my calories and macros. But it doesn't make me miserable. I don't think I can actually change my obsession with food, but this site makes it into a healthy lifestyle. If I sneak a cheezit when I'm giving my son a snack, nope, I don't log it. But if I want a serving, I'll prelog and work my day around it so I can have it. It works for me. Yeah, I do feel crazy for constantly thinking about food. But I'm also one of the healthiest people I know. It's a trade off. I find the busier I am, the less I'll actually obsess about food.
  • tameejean
    tameejean Posts: 197 Member
    bump.
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
    If you think you might need to see a psychologist, then there isn't a reason in the world why you shouldn't. You are worried about yourself, that is a good thing. Please, go talk to someone.
  • Pimpmonkey
    Pimpmonkey Posts: 566
    I think being a bit obssessive at the start is okay until it all becomes second nature, but if you are still freaking over it down the road to the same degree, it's starting to be a problem, if that makes sense.
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
    Didn't read any other posts except OP.
    But this is the main reason why I'm not a super skinny girl, like I would like too be.
    I don't want it controlling my life and I'm only 21 so i still want to live my young years out, such as going out drinking and having that extra piece of pizza sometimes!
    I'm too scarred that if I weight myself, count every single calorie everyday etc, that I will develop an eating disorder.
  • leserpent
    leserpent Posts: 27 Member
    It's not an "eating disorder" per se (you would have to be clinically diagnosed and meet specific DMS IV criteria) but it sounds like the beginning stages of disordered eating.

    Get help and get out while you can.
  • It's not an "eating disorder" per se (you would have to be clinically diagnosed and meet specific DMS IV criteria) but it sounds like the beginning stages of disordered eating.

    Get help and get out while you can.

    This, you're best off getting out now while you can see it happening. Maybe tell your fiance your worries, then he can help break the obsessions? :) Good luck!
  • jesss5885
    jesss5885 Posts: 187 Member
    Bump - i worry about this too.
    i tend to do things in extremes and become (self diagnosed) obsessive with things like weight and fitness. I find that i am ALWAYS on this site, ALWAYS tracking and retracking my food and exercise.
    I have to constantly remind myself to slow down and take a step back sometimes...
    glad it's not just me!
  • I think anyone who can afford to visit their doctor and get a referral to a nutritionist for personalized sessions and plans should do so because it's a fine line between being effective and being obessive. Everything I've read recently on weight loss says that if you are or have been overweight it's really hard to get and stay at a healthy weight. So obsessing is sadly a natural reaction to having to stay on top of your habits, thought processes, and foods. It sucks, get any help you can afford to get!

    The saddest thing about my situation is that I am a dietitian. I know what healthy eating is. I've also had type I/Juvenile diabetes since I was 15...Doctors have helped me for 13 years figure out how to eat healthy and they reaffirm every time I go see them that I'm healthy and eating well...I'm wondering if I don't need a shrink more than anything else.

    I got so sick of logging everything that I hurled my phone across the room. (I typically do not have temper tantrums like that). But it can be very frustrating to log every little thing. After the outburst I started writing notes on a pad in the kitchen about what/how much I eat and then log it all onto MFP a few times a day. That way I usually choose what to eat based on how hungry I am instead of how many grams of sugar it will put me over. You are not alone, and it will get better! :)
  • amivox
    amivox Posts: 441 Member
    Well, cutting out alcohol isn't a bad thing, really.
  • Reneefit135
    Reneefit135 Posts: 170
    This post is so interesting to me and Im glad that you brought it up. Some of my family and friends have been annoyed with me for years bc I often talk about how fat i am and how discouraged i am over it. Most of them are much heavier than me so when they told me i seemed obsessed with weight i thought it was just because they were so overweight. But now hearing people who are like minded about a healthy lifestyle it makes me wonder.

    Obviously obsessing about it hasn't helped me lose, it certainly hasn't helped my relationship with food. I still eat the bad things that i crave and then beat myself up about eating it and about my weight. And my poor husband, he has been listening to me talk about wanting to lose weight since we were dating and all i have done is gain. Don't take that into your marriage. Honestly men, good men that really love us usually don't even see the fat. And insecurity is very unattractive. If he is like my husband he just wants you to be happy, to be able to enjoy yourself when you go out. To feel confident in how you look, to see the beauty that he sees. To have life be about more than how you look or what you eat. To be able to have a conversation with you and have you be present and your mind not wandering about what you just ate or what you are doing to eat. I go nuts when I'm hungry and haven't eaten and then moments after the joy of being full i start feeling depressed even if i don't express it. We take them on this roller coaster with us and they go along because they love us but is it fair to him or to you? No. You don't want that for yourself. Make yourself be balanced. If that means logging once a week or maybe just agreeing to a cheat day so you can enjoy bad meals with him without the guilt.

    I think that our creator wants us to enjoy our life, food was made for our nourishment and enjoyment. We didn't have to have taste buds to get the nourishment so the fact that we enjoy it is a bonus that we shouldn't turn into an obsession. What has happened to us is probably what has happened with a lot of things in life. Things that were created for our enjoyment have been distorted and has become an unhealthy obsession for some of us.

    You are a dietician and I'm sure have educated yourself so eat clean and know that you are doing your best. There is no one that is perfect. I know a lot of people seem that they have the perfect body but really no one is perfect and we have to figure out a way to understand and accept our imperfections while not using them as an excuse to get out of control with our weight or health. Find a way to be balanced and to stop making ourselves and those who love us miserable. Thanks for the post. I think we should all talk about this more, just to help us be balanced.
  • wendyapple
    wendyapple Posts: 323 Member
    OP, clearly you aren't alone here in obsessing over exercise and calories. i know i'm in the boat with you and everyone else who's added here. someone in an earlier post said that MFP forces us to be obsessive. as we start to learn what size portions we need to lose, maintain, gain, whatever it may be that we're doing here, we are forced to make choices that we never really paid much mind to before MFP. if i felt like having a 3 egg omelette with an entire avocado and toast with peanutbutter for dinner and ice cream with cookies for dessert, i used to do it. now i know that's way too much fat in one meal, even if it's good fats, and not enough protein, etc...so there's this underlying sense of restructuring our habits and day-to-day eating plans. and if you're like me, and enjoy changing it up every day, it's even more difficult to manage macros, not going over cals, but still eating things we enjoy so we're not completely deprived. sidesteal mentioned taking a day off. i find once a month i *NEED* to take a day or two (or three) off from logging. i still make the best choices i can, though i may have a little more of this or that, or something i might not normally. for some it's a full on cheat day, for others it's a mental break from logging. it sounds like you're going through a lot of stress right now in your life, but you will find a way to make this work for you. it's not easy to be disciplined and cognizant of health, but the benefits outweigh the negatives. and the community here is the most supportive i've ever found.
  • Drizap
    Drizap Posts: 34 Member
    bump
  • itsjustdawn
    itsjustdawn Posts: 1,073 Member
    OP deactivated her account already :-(
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    I went thru phases at the start where I was extremely obsessive (I do have some OCD traits though) and where I had said before I could see myself becoming too thin.

    But the closer I have come to my goal, the less I ever have those feelings anymore. I have enough to snap me back to it when I go overboard or have a bad day, but all those obsessive feelings have passed.
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
    Feeling guilty about a cheat is NOT healthy. Fitness is my 2nd job so I am talking/thinking about it a lot. But I had a sausage, peppers and onions sandwich on a white hoagie roll last night and some potato salad made with Hellman's mayo and I was NOT feeling the least bit guilty about it! I will have a couple of Chips Ahoy cookies sometime this week, too, I'm sure but I don't worry about it b/c I eat healthy the rest of the time. But I do remember worrying SO much when I first lost my weight about "slipping back" and getting heavy again. I still have my dairy (I was 15 lol) from that year and a lot of my posts around the time I hit my goal and several months afterward were about being afraid to gain back. But then life got in the way of my obsessive thoughts and I let it go and besides my failed pregnancy in 1996 I've kept the weight off all these years. So to some degree I'm sure it's natural, b/c I was there too at some time. But look at my pic...do I look like one sausage peppers and onions sandwich is gonna kill me? Made me REALLY thirsty b/c I typically eat way below my sodium allottment but no guilt here! Friday night will be my next "cheat" probably and I will enjoy it and feel just sick enough afterward to stay on the beam the few days after it lol.

    The fact that you recognize you're a little obsessive about it is a good sign. It means you're still thinking "normally". Don't be so hard on yourself...allow the occasional cheat and don't worry about them unless they turn into a daily thing again... Hope that helps..
  • Hi! I don't usually post on these forums, but I just wanted to say that this definitely could be the start of an eating disorder, like many have said.

    I know, because this is exactly how my eating disorder started. The guilt, the obsessive counting, the exercising "just a little bit more." And eventually, that turned into a purging disorder. The guilt consumed me until I would purge away the bad stuff. I forced myself to quit the purging habit, but the guilt never went away. So I would have "fasting" days to make up for the times when I'd eaten a little too much, and thus, my anorexia was born.

    I'm not trying to scare you with all of this, but I think my point is that some guilt is inevitable, but you have to tell people about your struggles so that you can be surrounded by positive support. Being reminded of all the GOOD things you're doing, instead of stressing over the bad, is what separates a healthy dieter from someone with a disorder.

    I hope this helped, and good luck!
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    In 2006 when I had an ED I ate less than 500 calories a day and sometimes didn't finish what I was eating. I cared too much of what other people thought of me and I thought I looked great at 125, size 4, 5'7, and working out a lot on my parents farm but I was just destroying myself a little at a time. As time went on I barely could get out of bed and my chest started to hurt....I was on a verge of my body shutting down. I married my husband in November 2007 and he always made sure I ate which made me gain 50+ lbs over 4.5 years that we've been married. I am trying to get to get to 160 lbs (I started at 183.6 lbs in April 2012 and is at 175.8 right now).