What to do for my wife?

She is sabotaging herself and therefore you as well.

It's time for some couples therapy because it won't get any better as you lose more weight, she will resent your success.

:happy: After my husband quit smoking 6 years ago,it took me a year later to get on the ban wagon.Give her more time & be patient.Some of us have alot more will power than others,She's fighting it just like we all fight bad habits:)I imagine she doesn't feel to good about herself wtching you succeed and getting healthy.Try to make it fun but, mostly just give her time.

I'm really sorry to hear that she is turning against you, but I can totally understand it. She's jealous of you and your success, and probably upset at herself for not being able to lose the weight too or eat as healthy as you do. I feel this way sometimes with my SO, but on a much less extreme scale. When he workouts out and commits to eating healthy and losing weight, he's able to do it and the weight just falls off! So I get a little flicker or jealousy occasionally, but I've turned that into fueling my desire to be better and achieve my goals instead! He's an inspiration to me, and his success is my success!

So really, I think the only thing you can do is love her, and when she DOES do something healthy or workouts with you or something, be really encouraging and tell her how good she looks if she loses a bit of weight. Lead by example and kindness, but don't push it. Just let her know that you're there for her, and I think she'll eventually come around.

She is sabotaging herself and therefore you as well.

It's time for some couples therapy because it won't get any better as you lose more weight, she will resent your success.

^ This

Yes, I think everyone who has done this and is part of a couple has experienced this to one degree or another. My husband and I are doing the weight loss thing together, and sometimes I think my husband gets very frustrated with the process of losing weight and wants to cheat, and would feel less guilty if I would do it with him. We share a love of food and used to go out to eat at least 6 times a week. All of our "dates" revolved around food. This has been a Huge paradigm shift in our relationship and we are still navigating the newness of it all.

ok, first, stop using the word journey.

second, back the f**k off her, because its just going to cause nothing but problems to push her.

She might come around, and she might not, you have zero control over that. Just concentrate on what you can control.
Do you want a happy marriage or want to push your wife, till she wants to stab you.

Are you taking diet pills?and if you are,is she too?Just curious:)

I am going through the same thing. Coming from someone who feels as though I am fighting a losing battle....please just be patient with her. Everyone has to hit rock bottom on their own before they make any changes. My situation has seemd to take a steep decline...my husband now thinks that my, "new healthier lifestyle" is somewhat ridiculous, it "bores" him. Again, she will come around in her own time. We cannot force anyone to change. Just keep doing what you are doing!!

I am in a similar situation except my husband has remained supportive of me. We started together and he was the first to lose 20 pounds. He has to travel, and when he went on a trip, his dedication fell off. Then he got sick, and he gave up. I have decided to leave him alone. I know he wants to use weight, but he enjoys the comfort he gets from food now more than the promise of feeling good later. I wish he would for the sake of the family, but really it has to be his decision and his desire. To bring it up is to nag. Every once in a while he says something about a good choice he has made and I praise him on that. Our youngest is about to leave for college in the fall, and I am thinking that perhaps we can see that as a new fresh start for changes. Just be patient with her. She is probably really mad at herself though she may not admit it. Let her know you are devoted to her.

I have no answer. This is a struggle that I have had (weight) since I was about 14. Just thoughts, do you suppose your wife is afraid that other people will find you more attractive than you used to be ( when you weighed more). I am just going on at the mouth so you might want to just press the delete button now. Does losing wieight come more easily to you than her? For me walking does nothing... seriously, I walked miles and miles for three weeks in China and didn't drop an ounce and just eating what the tour coordinator ordered for meals so no snacking etc. So I have to lift weights. My sisters are in this with me but losing weight for them just means cutting back and walking. Maybe your losing weight makes her feel threatened in some weird way about your relationship. Please know that you need to do this for you ( the weight thing). I know how it is if there is junk around so since it is just me.... I just don't bring it into the house. Ha, I am into chocolate covered coffee beans when I think I need a treat. three or four of these and I am set. Good luck to you.....me2metoo

I went though this a while back with my hubby. Eventually I learned that if I want change in my life I have to make the change, no one can make the change for me. It may take your wife a while to figure this out on her own but she will get there. If she's any thing like me she doesn't want anyone telling her what she should do. Just let her be and eventually she will come around. Lead by example. You two are a team

and if you ever do find a way to get your wife on board, let me know. maybe it'll work on my bf...

You do you, and let her deal with her own issues.

You have no right to demand that she lose weight or adopt the same lifestyle that you have adopted. You have no right to tell her what she can or can't eat.

As far as sabotaging you by bringing junk into the house, it is her house, too. While you can request that she keep the junk out of sight or in a special place that isn't easily accessible to you, ultimately you control what you put in your mouth.

I eat healthy and exercise. My husband does not. I do find myself trying to sway his views on health once in a while, but he is an adult who can make his own informed choices about his own health and eating habits. He buys junk and brings it home for him and my (normal weight, healthy) daughter to eat on occasion. I just request that he doesn't leave it out on the counter or in a prominent place in the fridge or pantry. Sometimes we eat totally different things for dinner. Would I rather have a bacon cheeseburger on a bun with chips or tots? Yep. Do I choose to eat a turkey burger wrapped in lettuce with some fruit as a side? Yep.

Funny story... I bought a bag of Dove Dark Chocolate Promises with the intention of enjoying a few each night before bedtime if I had leftover calories. Knowing that he would eat the whole bag in one day if I left them out, I hid them in the vegetable drawer of the fridge and he was never the wiser. :-)

Ultimately, unless you are willing to destroy your wife's self-esteem and perhaps your marriage in the process of forcing a diet and exercise regiment upon her, back off and let her be. You will not win if you force the issue. Accept her for who she is now and treat her with love and respect. Hopefully, one day she will see that she, too could lose weight and increase her health and longevity, but until then you need to focus your efforts on yourself.

I had a similar issue with my husband when I first started. Luckily, I'm the one who does the cooking, and therefore, does the grocery shopping. I'm a pretty good cook, so he doesn't miss his processed foods. I do still get some for him, but he mainly eats what I make for him. Ultimately though, he had to come around to the idea of eating healthier all on his own. And thankfully, I have lots of willpower to resist any snacks or treats that may be in the house.