THE EMANCIPATION OF "ME"

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giabelle
giabelle Posts: 140 Member
in Introduce Yourself
This may sound odd or crazy to most of you, but I'm here to find "me" again and set her free -once and for all.

So, I was kind of hoping that you could all help me do that. I know, silly right? Why would anyone ask a bunch of strangers to help me find the essence of who I am? Well, I've spent my final day off (today) reading a bunch of great blogs, and personal struggles that some of you have been wonderful enough to share. Truth is, I see myself in A LOT of you (or at least a glimpse of who I was). So FP may not be the answer to it all, but it sure as hell seems like a great place to start!

My name is Giabelle and I'm addicted to food. I have about 160 plus pounds to loose and am scared to death of what awaits me if I don't change my life soon. I've already become unrecognizable to those I love, in more ways than just the way that I look. I don't even know myself anymore. I've imprisoned myself within this body to the point where the light at the end of the tunnel is invisible.

I know how I got to this place, but I still cannot believe that I am actually here. This was NOT the life I was suppose to have. Nor is this the life that I was meant to lead. Nevertheless, I am in it.

But, enough about the past. If I'm going to succeed I must look toward the future. I know this will be the biggest, most trying journey of my life and that it all begins with me. I get it. I just can't do it alone. I've tried, time and time again. I have tried everything from Slim Fast to Dr. Bernstein (and everything else in between) Nothing works long term. That is truly the funny part. Everything I've ever tried has worked for me initially. Then, something happens in my life and the focus shifts/changes from ME to IT and it all goes to hell once again.

The last time I tried to lose weight I almost succeeded. I lost 100 pounds. I had more to go but for the first time (in a long time) I could see myself finishing the journey. Then, life introduced a change and I just stopped. Gradually over the last 4 years I gained it all back and more. Now, I just don't know what to do anymore. The only things I do know are that I cannot keep on this path and I cannot do it alone.

Will you help me?


Some introduction huh? :embarassed:

Thanks for listening!
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Replies

  • pocketthomson
    pocketthomson Posts: 2 Member
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    I'm happy to help. How can I help you?
  • MrsB724
    MrsB724 Posts: 247
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    I was touched by your introduction....feel free to add me :)
  • dawnitalinn
    dawnitalinn Posts: 20
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    You can add me, a support system really helps.
  • marissah2005
    marissah2005 Posts: 15 Member
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    Hi,
    wow - you're awesome. I've just described my worst fear.
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
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    Everyone will help you. It is such a hard journey but you will find amazing support here. This is like a whole other world, one where people really understand you and support you. You will find the tools to make the changes you need to get the weight off, get fitter and healthier.

    Welcome to MFP and good luck with your journey.:flowerforyou:
  • angielafrance
    angielafrance Posts: 2 Member
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    baby steps..you CAN do this!:happy:
  • susiebear29
    susiebear29 Posts: 266
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    of course we will help you!! im on here every day and im always ready to offer motivation and support, you CAN do this you are in control and if you put your mind to it you can achieve anything, MFP is such a great support network so give it a chance and keep fighting!! feel free to add me! :smile:
  • gogospice
    gogospice Posts: 185 Member
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    You can do it! I always started and quit, made excuses as to why I couldn't start today. it was always next Monday. Always the 1st of the month. After a big occasion. One day I just woke up and was tired of it. I sat down. Made a meal plan for 4 weeks. And started. I have fallen off the wagon, but posting those meal plans where I can see them keeps me accountable (not that I follow them) They just gave me an idea of what my calorie limits were. What I'd have to do if I wanted to eat a higher calorie dinner. The sacrifices I'd have to make to have a bowl of ice cream. And how much time I had to spend at the gym to burn the extra calories off. Measuring cups have become my best friend. I measure everything! I read labels! I pretty much only shop the outside circle of the grocery store! The more I eat healthy and the more I exercise, the more I want to do it. Yes, some days it is a chore. And somedays I skip the gym! But if I'm making it 5 days out of 7, thats a heck of a lot more than before. I may be the chubbiest girl at the gym but I always go back to my favorite quote "No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everyone on the couch!"

    Coming on here has giving me so much inspiration. You are with a group of people who are in the same situation, all trying hard, all having similar struggles. As with anything, there are the odd group of douche bags floating around. But I have to say...the good people far outnumber the bad!

    You can do this! You made the first step and admitted how you felt and what you wanted to do! Be proud, that is one of the hardest things to verbalize!
  • lynnprice
    lynnprice Posts: 101 Member
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    Welcome!
  • cheryl5115
    cheryl5115 Posts: 154 Member
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    You can add me.Oh forget adding me. I will go add you.
    This needs to be a lifestyle change not a diet. The support on here has been great .
  • sunnyside1213
    sunnyside1213 Posts: 1,205 Member
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    Every journey starts with the first step. Things I have learned from this site.
    You need to eat good food, what some people here call clean. You need to exercise, which I happen to hate, but tough for me. You should drink water...divide your weight by 2 and drink that many oz. a day. Read the blogs. They are inspirational. and funny and touching. Find some friends here. I only have a few, but they are very supportive. Don't let your family and friends sabotage you (yes that happens.) And the most important thing for me is to log every bite that goes into my mouth. Log. Your. Food. I was astounded at what I was eating.

    Good luck to you. Friend me if you like. I don't have as much to lose, but I am tired of looking like a marshmallow with toothpick arms and legs.
  • Magenta15
    Magenta15 Posts: 850 Member
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    Then, life introduced a change and I just stopped. Gradually ....I gained it all back....

    yup - I can identify with all you've written. every time life changes, I fall off the path... like you I was doing so well, then just stopped? wtf!?

    I am in ontario also :) Welcome. supporting each other we can all accomplish great things!
  • giabelle
    giabelle Posts: 140 Member
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    I'm happy to help. How can I help you?

    I'm not exactly sure..
  • jenlawe
    jenlawe Posts: 2
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    You can add me. I am restarting my weight loss journey. I have a a hard time keeping myself motivated and could use some friends to help me and that I can help along the way.
  • Gr8ChangesAhead
    Gr8ChangesAhead Posts: 836 Member
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    I am taking this journey one step at a time and one change at a time.
  • giabelle
    giabelle Posts: 140 Member
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    WOW! I'm utterly overwhelmed by the response my crazy introduction has produced. I am so touched and thank you all for your encouragement and kind words. It means more than I could ever form into words. It's been a most trying and emotional day for some reason unknown to me and this out-pour of love and support from all of you has just kicked it into OVERDRIVE!

    Letting all of you into my secret world is something I NEVER imagined would happen. I'm scared of letting others in. All I want to do is hide these days. So I cannot tell you what it took for me to even say hello here. It's crazy what your heart makes you do.

    I, like some of you have communicated, have a tiny support group here made up of family. They told me about the message/blog boards, so I thought: "what the hell"

    It's been a pleasure reading your feedback.

    P.S. Thank you for all the friend requests as well.
  • redrook29
    redrook29 Posts: 10
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    I think it's great that you have made the first step in joining MFP! Just something that I have heard about from others over the years and try to practice myself: your ultimate goal may be 160 pounds to lose, but focus on smaller goals until you reach your bigger one. For example, start with your first goal being to lose 10% of your current weight, then when you reach that goal, make a new one! And reward yourself with something (like a new outfit or something), every time you reach a goal. Most of the people on here are really supportive, I like to read the community page throughout the day and especially look at the success stories. I have also found it is important to log everything you eat everyday, that really helps. Good luck! :smile:
  • PurpleEpiphany
    PurpleEpiphany Posts: 96
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    My only real advice, which you seem to be following already, would be don't think about things in the short term. There are a lot of ways to lose weight, some of them faster than others. Many of these (crash diets, etc) usually result in the person gaining all the weight back, if not more. Personally I've been trying to approach this as a lifestyle change. Would I like to lose weight faster? Sure, but it's more important to me that the changes I make are sustainable, or can be modified to be sustainable. (For example, right now I'm going to the gym five days a week. I don't intend to do this for the rest of my life, but I DO intend to have regular gym visits be a part of my life from now on, even if it's closer to two or three times per week.)

    Also, you've already taken a great step in coming here. Holding myself accountable for calories is something I was afraid to do for a long time, but it has been an enormous help. You can also get a lot of support from other members, and helpful tips and advice. I would post a caveat to that, though...be careful what advice you take to heart. There is a lot of conflicting information, especially on the forums, and I suggest doing your own research on things.

    Good luck, and feel free to add me if you like :)
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    I have tried everything from Slim Fast to Dr. Bernstein (and everything else in between) Nothing works long term. That is truly the funny part. Everything I've ever tried has worked for me initially. Then, something happens in my life and the focus shifts/changes from ME to IT and it all goes to hell once again.

    Don't let your diet take on a life of it's own. It shouldn't be a seperate entity - Slimfast, Dr. Bernstein, and now the MFP diet, What happens when someone on MFP says something you don't like (and they will!) or you fall out with someone on here? MFP has failed you so your MFP diet is destined to fail? NO! Don't let it become a MFP diet - it's YOUR diet, your choices, your hard work!

    Use MFP as a tool, and use the great people on here as your motivators and advisers - if they fail then it doesn't matter, you just lose a bit of help, no big deal. Don't rely on anyone else, they can let you down. Rely on yourself and don't let yourself down

    When people notice your gradual weight loss and ask what diet you're doing now, just say "None, I'm just eating less, making some better choices, and exercising a bit more"

    You don't need good luck now becuase you're doing it, so good luck for 3 months time when you will need it! Good luck Giabelle, you are going to succeed this time
  • robvaleri
    robvaleri Posts: 7
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    Giabelle,

    You are one of my best friends in the WHOLE WORLD! Anything I can do to help, I will. We have been there for each other for many years now, you've seen me go from super slim, to oh somewhere else LOL. We know the struggles, we know the pitfalls, and now we know there are people out here just like us that KNOW how we feel and can DEFINITELY help and be helped! All you had to do was ask!!!! WHO KNEW??? :)

    LUV YOU LOTS!!!

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