The "diet mentality" Just stop :)
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merzback
Posts: 453 Member
I have a bit of a rant about what I hear and read when people are trying to lose weight. Get off the yoyo and stop the diet mentality. The diet industry has 5 percent success rate long term. When people go on certain diets, the diet takes the credit. But what about long term? When people no longer can restrict certain foods groups or just eating not enough calories per day, then you're on your own. Stop using the word "cheat" or saying you are "bad" because you had a piece of cake. Allow yourselves some flexibility so you can live a normal life, and stop using words that are negative. You are not a cheater or a bad person because you ate something unhealthy. You are human, and just move on from that moment because the semantics just keep you down. Candy, cake and unhealthy foods are unhealthy for EVERYONE but you do not hear a thin person say they were BAD. I know most people do not say they are "dieting" anymore because if you go ON a diet, eventually you go OFF. When you decide what to eat, ask yourself is it something that will make you feel better later both physically and emotionally. Many of us have to get off this mentality, because being healthy is mostly emotional based. I do not have all the answers, but I Get tired of people putting themselves down and allowing an industry to determine your happiness, your day and the scale is not the end all of your life, and neither is an indulgence occasionally. Ok thanks for listening to my rant. JMHO
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If you don't me jumping on your rant what really gets me is how almost everyone is fixated on losing weight. Losing weight is fairly easy as evidenced by the countless people on this site who've done it multiple times.
What's fairly rare is to find people who are focused on being a healthy weight. So many people want to get to a lower weight, but they have little to no focus on staying there. They just seem to assume they'll figure it out once they get there, which clearly rarely happens as you said the long term success rate is extremely low.12 -
I look at it as if I have a disability. My internal thermostat for food is wonky, and as a result I need to track/limit my calories.
It won’t end, it is my health maintenance for life.
Your rant is excellent. Drives me nuts also to see all the fads, tricks, crazy diets, and the mentality of temporariness.6 -
jenmarrs429 wrote: »I look at it as if I have a disability. My internal thermostat for food is wonky, and as a result I need to track/limit my calories.
It won’t end, it is my health maintenance for life.
I love that last bit. It IS my health maintenance for life because I want to live a long healthy life!
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I plan to log my food and lift weights until I snuff it, basically, or am rendered incapable. There's lots of stuff in life that requires constant upkeep: chores, hygiene, eating and drinking. It's part of being an adult, and it just so happens that in a society that's more-or-less solved the problem of food availability and heavy manual labour, we have to put in the work on this stuff to stay in optimal health.9
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Thanks- yes it seems like many people on here are so stuck into that mentality- I need to l lose weight for my wedding, or school reunion- that the scale is all the care about. Many do not care about their long term health. My first diet years ago when I was 14, I thought once I lost all the weight, my life would do a 180. GUess what? It did not...3
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YES. This. It seems to come from a place of self-loathing, which is just so hard to break and I feel for everyone who's struggling with this but it's just not the answer. We have been taught for soooo long that our issues will be solved once we lose weight, and it's hard to work on anything else when society has told this lie so many times before.
I also think we've all internalized body bullying, and we've lost touch with how we feel because society won't let us be truly vulnerable. Breaking free of that is really really hard, and I hope all the "diet mindset" people will eventually do some introspection and really get to the bottom of their body issues.4 -
I think I get what you mean, and I agree that the "diet mentality" is oppressive, but if you are a word-person (like me)... Your diet is what you eat. Some people are on a prescribed diet for their health (high blood pressure, diabetes, kidney disease etc), but the term is mostly used as prescribed methods for weightloss. Dieting is, in itself, just consciously and deliberately changing how you eat (and maybe move), with the goal of losing weight. Prescribed weight loss diets as well as more or less structured, personally initiated efforts, can be more or less sensible, healthy and effective.
Some groups don't even like the concept of "dieting" - they advocate to just accept one's body and desires and let the fat melt off. Even though I usually lose weight on holiday, and some people almost stop eating when they're depressed, I don't think that is realistic for most of us. We are surrounded by temptation 24/7, and to be able to maintain good health, we have to implement certain boundaries. The tricky part is to make those boundaries firm enough, but not so tight that we suffocate. MFP is a platform for a wide range of goals - weight loss, maintenance, weight gain, fitness (or finding a partner, lol) - but based on the premise of logging and measuring, so the general consensus in here will by necessity be pro-"dieting".
The 5% success rate is a number gathered from a 1959 study, and perpetuated until it became "truth". In reality, nobody knows how many succeed from the various weightloss attempts, but we know that people are getting heavier. The diet industry has possibly a lower success rate. People even regain after losing weight sensibly and healthily.
I get triggered by expressions like "trying to lose weight". To lose weight, you just have to eat less. There is no trying, just doing. "Cheating", too, gets on my nerves. If you're cheating on your diet, you're not even on a diet.
No foods are "unhealthy". But no foods should be eaten in unlimited amounts. That goes for both broccoli and chocolate cake.6 -
So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?4
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Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
...A lifestyle change!4 -
Edited0
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Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
I call it..cutting, leaning, shredding, eating in a deficit, torture.. you know..4 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
...A lifestyle change!
Yep, this!! I didn't start being successful until I stopped looking at it as a "weight loss" diet, but as a lifestyle instead. I've slowly built new habits and routines, and have been very happy with the way things have been going. Yes, I have made changes *to* my diet, but a side effect of my new habits is that I am losing weight.2 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.3 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.
That's the thing... I'm not sure if it's possible to do that. Most overweight people who have been overweight for a long time, possible since childhood are just not able to do that. And I guess that it's okay as long as you are mindful about it. My partner and her family are all quite naturally slim. They do not obsess about food at all, they even are people who "forget" to eat lunch because they were busy and just did not feel hungry so they eat an apple or something at 2 P.M. If you tell me in the morning that all I will have for lunch is an apple, yeah I am obsessing about it and already dreading feeling hungry most of the day. Or when I am on the road and lunchtime is approaching and there is no restaurant or supermarket around I will start obsessing. I think it's a lifelong committment to being mindful about food intake, almost like being alcoholic. Once you have had it (the food obsession) it never goes away again.6 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.
That's the thing... I'm not sure if it's possible to do that. Most overweight people who have been overweight for a long time, possible since childhood are just not able to do that. And I guess that it's okay as long as you are mindful about it. My partner and her family are all quite naturally slim. They do not obsess about food at all, they even are people who "forget" to eat lunch because they were busy and just did not feel hungry so they eat an apple or something at 2 P.M. If you tell me in the morning that all I will have for lunch is an apple, yeah I am obsessing about it and already dreading feeling hungry most of the day. Or when I am on the road and lunchtime is approaching and there is no restaurant or supermarket around I will start obsessing. I think it's a lifelong committment to being mindful about food intake, almost like being alcoholic. Once you have had it (the food obsession) it never goes away again.
I too could never understand how "an apple" could be an adequate lunch, but now I'm actually one of those "naturally slim" people. I like to eat, and I like having a somewhat regular meal schedule, but I can wait if I have something to do that is more important at that time; I like balanced meals, but I like and can eat almost anything.
I think I'm lucky because my problems didn't run very deep - not rooted in self-image or caused by abuse, I was just misinformed. Even in my most extreme periods, eating out, especially while on vacation, was liberating; I would on one hand loosen up on all my rules, and on the other hand be a lot more selective. I would seek out good food, and never think that I'm not going to eat. Somehow the responsibility of "feeding myself", at home, alone, was hard for me. Things have changed now, I have aquired more, and more neutral, nuanced and sensible information about nutrition, and I feel in charge and competent.2 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
That's what I find odd about the hatred of the term. Yes, you can call it "cutting" or keeping a calorie deficit, but there's nothing wrong with consciously trying to reduce total fat through eating less than you burn, and that's one use of the term "diet" (another is, as kommodevaran said, just what you eat).
That one is focused on body composition or reducing some fat doesn't mean one has any specific "diet mentality" and for me -- although I have not been particularly focused lately on body comp, I admit -- realizing I had the ability to change my body in that way was empowering and did not relate to some yoyo thing or buying into diet industry nonsense. And it certainly did not contradict the idea of flexibility (I embraced the concept of flexible dieting) or cause me to think of myself as "bad" or a "cheater" if I consumed some pizza or a cookie. To the contrary, having a healthy idea that oh, fat loss happens in this way, and I can choose to work on fat loss through a calorie deficit (which is a diet) and there's no magic mumbo-jumbo needed helped me to not fall for most of the diet industry nonsense.
I do try different things to see how I like them/if they work for me (different ways of eating or what not, playing around with macros and all that), but I don't freak out over them or get bothered if something is not ideal for me. I take what I like and discard the rest.3 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.
Why are you assuming that poster does not trust her body or listen to it or obsesses about food and dieting. That one wants to lose some fat/improve body comp (which at leaner levels especially may need to be a conscious effort) does not mean that one is obsessing about food and dieting.
I will note that I tend to find maintenance easy if I watch portions (as in use my mind, I usually don't log at maintenance, although I found it one enjoyable way to lose weight, although not IMO required for me), eat on a regular schedule and don't snack, and remain active, and eat a generally nutrition-conscious diet (which I would do regardless of weight as I enjoy it and consider it important for health). This is what I call "mindful eating" (and is totally consistent with my own ideas of flexible dieting -- the difference is that for a diet you keep a calorie deficit, so eat a little less).
I see this as quite different from "trust your body" if that is supposed to me follow hunger signals or something. I don't think that works for a lot of people, including me. I need to involve my brain--including my understanding of what a reasonable amount to eat and what reasonable choices are--in the process.
I agree that beating yourself up is not a good approach and would not work for me. I think of this whole thing as an interesting learning experience.1 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.
Because that's how I got to 260 lbs.3 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
This.
Words can mean several different, usually related, things.
How I eat is my diet.
What I do when I want to lose weight is diet.
Formal diets are a slightly different thing (think: Atkins, DASH etc.)
Fad diets (think: cabbage soup diet) are yet another slightly different thing.
The word diet isn't "bad".
(nor are formal diets inherently bad)2 -
What I meant was we are so tuned into the diet mentality, of restricting and deprivation, that we have grown to be a society of scared eaters..because we haven't learned how to be mindful- we have just learned to diet. We are so ingrained about the scale... so ingrained about what is good or bad, we call ourselves cheaters, a lot of negative words to become more positive usually won't help.1
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