I want to like lifting, but the results depress me.

llUndecidedll

I'm having a depressing moment right now.

As I lose fat around my midsection, I'm reminded of why I stopped working out years ago.

I've only been lifting for a few months, but I've lifted for about 2-3 years, some years ago.

I have broad shoulders and lifting makes them worse. The comments and looks from my family kind of depressed me years ago, so I stopped lifting because lifting seemed to make my shoulders wider.

I want to be stronger, but I don't want to feel more self-conscious.

I really don't want to feel more uncomfortable than I already am. Should I just stick to bodyweight exercises and maybe only do lifts like weighted squats?

SWWIS

I have super broad shoulders. It's mostly my frame, but exaggerated due to the fact that I've been an athlete all my life and lifted heavy in high school. I've learned to not give a **** what people have to say about my build. I've always been chunky but very muscular. Most people just picked on the chunky part even though they didn't realize I have a black belt, did MMA for a long time and could out-brute any of them.

My goal now is to lose my chunkiness and continue building strength. It can be hard, but sometimes you just have to say **** off to the people making comments and giving looks because you're making your body better, and that's a great thing to want to do.

FWIW, here's me and my giant shoulders:

lisalsd1

I wouldn't worry about the comments your family makes about your "big" shoulders. I have big shoulders, and I catch men staring at them all the time...b/c my shoulders are super hot.

Walter__

Don't directly train shoulders then. Easy.

SezxyStef

I have broad shoulders too...and people (girl friends) have made comments...like "you can't wear sleevless anymore"...I do it and get compliments from men all the time...men like confidence regardless of size of body, shoulders, but, boobs etc.

RHachicho

Well you could stop letting society tell you what you should look like and just be what you are. Just a thought. That's not carte blanche to be unhealthy. But seriously my shoulders are too big? It's obsessive and unhealthy.

llUndecidedll

Thanks for the replies. I know. I just need to refocus on my ultimate goal.

SWWIS, I must say I think your frame is fine.

SWWIS

afrocided wrote: »

Thanks for the replies. I know. I just need to refocus on my ultimate goal.

SWWIS, I must say I think your frame is fine.

I embraced it long ago... If I hadn't, I probably wouldn't be able to proudly call myself the "Brick Wall" in flag football

onefortyone

I have bigger shoulders too, courtesy of intense swim-training as a kid/pre-teen.

Rock them! Shape up your booty (squats!), work out your lats, put on the right dress, and from the back you will have a perfect hourglass figure!

Kim55555

One good thing they say about broad shoulders, is that it makes your waist look smaller!

JoRocka

You're shoulder width is directly related to the span of the bones.

If you specifically aren't training shoulders- they aren't going to get more broad (you can specifically add size there from the 3 seperate shoulder muscles) but as long as you aren't specifically training them- all that's going to happen is you're going to get definition and have DEFINED looking shoulders- which many people THINK are big- but they aren't.
- so keep lifting- lose fat- show off muscles.
- kick anyone in the face who says you look manly.

love.
the girl who has houuuge lats and loves them

JoRocka

I say rock that *kitten*

singingflutelady

i want your lats!!!!!

MsHarryWinston

JoRocka wrote: »

I say rock that *kitten*

Niiiiiiiiice!

I have really broad shoulders too. I learned to accept them a long time ago. Now all I want is the fat dropped off them and the muscles strong and defined like the hot mamma up above. My shoulders dont make me feel any less feminine, but sometimes they DO make me feel much more bad *ss. I LOVE being a woman with a big frame. I like that I have physical "presence".

mustgetmuscles1

JoRocka wrote: »

You're shoulder width is directly related to the span of the bones.

If you specifically aren't training shoulders- they aren't going to get more broad (you can specifically add size there from the 3 seperate shoulder muscles) but as long as you aren't specifically training them- all that's going to happen is you're going to get definition and have DEFINED looking shoulders- which many people THINK are big- but they aren't.
- so keep lifting- lose fat- show off muscles.
- kick anyone in the face who says you look manly.

love.
the girl who has houuuge lats and loves them

^Yep. Exactly this.

I know Im a guy but for me, my shoulders appeared to get broader as I lost weight and started lifting. In reality it was a combination of becoming leaner, better posture and a narrower waist that made them look bigger. Those are all good things though. It was not that I added a ton of mass or increased my bone structure.

Before strength training my shoulders slumped forward and my posture was terrible. Looking at me from the front my shoulder width would have seemed narrower. Strength training pulled my shoulders back and straightened my posture.

You can look at the pictures in my profile and see that the actual width has not changed much at all and that is after a couple years of training.

FitForL1fe

afrocided wrote: »

I'm having a depressing moment right now.

As I lose fat around my midsection, I'm reminded of why I stopped working out years ago.

I've only been lifting for a few months, but I've lifted for about 2-3 years, some years ago.

I have broad shoulders and lifting makes them worse. The comments and looks from my family kind of depressed me years ago, so I stopped lifting because lifting seemed to make my shoulders wider.

I want to be stronger, but I don't want to feel more self-conscious.

I really don't want to feel more uncomfortable than I already am. Should I just stick to bodyweight exercises and maybe only do lifts like weighted squats?

I feel ya...my family members were among my very first haters...nothin' like some hatorade to stoke the fires of motivation! Keep at it! Do whatever lifts you want to do!

DopeItUp

JoRocka wrote: »

I say rock that *kitten*

Good lord, look at those *kitten* lats.

dbmata

afrocided wrote: »

I'm having a depressing moment right now.

As I lose fat around my midsection, I'm reminded of why I stopped working out years ago.

I've only been lifting for a few months, but I've lifted for about 2-3 years, some years ago.

I have broad shoulders and lifting makes them worse. The comments and looks from my family kind of depressed me years ago, so I stopped lifting because lifting seemed to make my shoulders wider.

I want to be stronger, but I don't want to feel more self-conscious.

I really don't want to feel more uncomfortable than I already am. Should I just stick to bodyweight exercises and maybe only do lifts like weighted squats?

Ever hear of self confidence?

dbmata

JoRocka wrote: »

I say rock that *kitten*

Whoa, further increasing the legend that is your awesomeness.

RECowgill

JoRocka rocks!

I don't think the OP or other women here should worry about their shoulder width so much. You all look fine I'm sure, really if someone in your life is putting you down because you have a strong healthy frame? It's their problem.

LiftAndBalance

If it actually bothers YOU, however, you could also just focus more on your lower body. Strong Curves, for example, has a lower body only routine.

usmcmp

I have broad shoulders (because of bone structure). Weight lifting and specifically focusing on shoulders has only managed to add one inch to them in the last year. Ignore the comments and learn to love your body.

bunbunzee44

broad shoulders are sexy.. on both sexes.

llUndecidedll

Thanks for the replies. I appreciate the comments and such, and know others have had a similar struggle with their body image. I'm not sure what I did wrong to be flagged for abuse, but I would remove the post if I could.

You ladies are in awesome shape. I also just naturally have broad shoulders. I have never played sports. I didn't start strength training and attending a gym until I entered college over a decade ago. I've just never received a positive response on my overall physical appearance, so forgive the depressing moments I'll have here and there.

Again, thanks for suggestions and replies. I will check out Strong Curves.

CallMeBacon

Just echoing the above.. I, too, have broad shoulders, but let me tell you.. I would never let that keep me from lifting. Makes my waist look smaller, but more than that - lifting keeps me *happy*.

I get all kinds of comments from family and friends - ranging from supportive to "you shouldn't lose more weight, you're too thin" or "your arms look like you're a guy".

I find it's usually the ones that hate their bodies the most, that feel they need to make negative comments on mine.

Do what you need to do for you, in order to be healthy and happy. And screw the ones that judge you for it.

dbmata

usmcmp wrote: »

I have broad shoulders (because of bone structure). Weight lifting and specifically focusing on shoulders has only managed to add one inch to them in the last year. Ignore the comments and learn to love your body.

You're the bee's knees too, fyi.

usmcmp

dbmata wrote: »

usmcmp wrote: »

I have broad shoulders (because of bone structure). Weight lifting and specifically focusing on shoulders has only managed to add one inch to them in the last year. Ignore the comments and learn to love your body.

You're the bee's knees too, fyi.

Thank you!

JoRocka

usmcmp wrote: »

I have broad shoulders (because of bone structure). Weight lifting and specifically focusing on shoulders has only managed to add one inch to them in the last year. Ignore the comments and learn to love your body.

yay- USMCMP's lats/back blown mine out of the water- and I totally didn't mean to turn this into a back/lat/shoulder thing- but yeah....and I adore that picture- so fab. drool.

chicks with shoulders and lats.... le-sigh- so much win.

And if you allow me (hell it's a forum I'm going to anyway)... expand- a woman's back is incredibly sexy- one that's well developed even more so- it takes SO much work for us- that when you see that it's a sight to behold- not just because it's *kitten* cool- but because you KNOW a lot of mothertrucking work went into it- it's worth drooling over and giving props- because it takes works.

seriously. Work your back- work your shoulders- own that *kitten* and like I said- kick anyone in the face who says others.

usmcmp

JoRocka wrote: »

usmcmp wrote: »

I have broad shoulders (because of bone structure). Weight lifting and specifically focusing on shoulders has only managed to add one inch to them in the last year. Ignore the comments and learn to love your body.

yay- USMCMP's lats/back blown mine out of the water- and I totally didn't mean to turn this into a back/lat/shoulder thing- but yeah....and I adore that picture- so fab. drool.

chicks with shoulders and lats.... le-sigh- so much win.

And if you allow me (hell it's a forum I'm going to anyway)... expand- a woman's back is incredibly sexy- one that's well developed even more so- it takes SO much work for us- that when you see that it's a sight to behold- not just because it's *kitten* cool- but because you KNOW a lot of mothertrucking work went into it- it's worth drooling over and giving props- because it takes works.

seriously. Work your back- work your shoulders- own that *kitten* and like I said- kick anyone in the face who says others.

Sorry! Wasn't intending on "showing you up" or anything. As you know, with nice wide shoulders and a lean waist (plus butt and quads) clothes look and fit incredible! I finally have an hour glass shape. Definitely own what you have!

JoRocka

nah- I didn't think you were Just didn't want OP think we were like- running amuck. you know I love you

and your fabulous back

margannmks

Ok you are both really making me envious. Im trying to build my back. What specifically are yall doing. I cant seem to isolate the proper muscles. Shoulders are pumped arms arms are jacked but baby lacks back ,help.