Is it normal to not be friends with your ex?

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  • hortensehildegarde
    hortensehildegarde Posts: 592 Member
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    OdesAngel wrote: »
    good points all around.

    And yes I guess I should have asked about being "friendly", not necessarily friends. As in, you don't wish ill will on them and would have a normal conversation like you would with any other person you knew if you ran into them in public. You are friended to them on FB and comment on cute pics of their families. Stuff like that. Sounds like that is pretty typical so long as said ex didn't do something horrible (which of course it makes sense if someone did something awful like abuse, just seems like some people hate their ex just because said ex didn't want them in that way).

    Right? OP, just accept that you're a special snowflake because you would never EVER think to cut off relationships with ex's like these other plebs on here. You're so enlightened!

    LOL. Um. Huh? Pretty sure I just said the exact opposite (that I can understand cutting of a relationship with an abusive person, or one who developed a mental disorder, had that happen to a friend of mine and she had to divorce her husband due to his schizophrenia and had to stay away from him because he was dangerous. It was a really sad situation. but I digress). I was mostly just curious about just splitting up romantically just cause you aren't compatible in that way.

    But yes I *am* special, thanks for noticing ;)
  • BansheeCat
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    Making a habit of exes being friends means something else is probably going on in your psyche.

    However, if they're in your friendship circle I see the point...then again if all your exes are in that circle that could mean you're a *kitten*. (Satire)
  • Rebeccas_Life
    Rebeccas_Life Posts: 58 Member
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    I usually remain amicable with my past ex's... unless they give me a reason not to do so :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    OdesAngel wrote: »
    good points all around.

    And yes I guess I should have asked about being "friendly", not necessarily friends. As in, you don't wish ill will on them and would have a normal conversation like you would with any other person you knew if you ran into them in public. You are friended to them on FB and comment on cute pics of their families. Stuff like that. Sounds like that is pretty typical so long as said ex didn't do something horrible (which of course it makes sense if someone did something awful like abuse, just seems like some people hate their ex just because said ex didn't want them in that way).

    Right? OP, just accept that you're a special snowflake because you would never EVER think to cut off relationships with ex's like these other plebs on here. You're so enlightened!

    LOL. Um. Huh? Pretty sure I just said the exact opposite (that I can understand cutting of a relationship with an abusive person, or one who developed a mental disorder, had that happen to a friend of mine and she had to divorce her husband due to his schizophrenia and had to stay away from him because he was dangerous. It was a really sad situation. but I digress). I was mostly just curious about just splitting up romantically just cause you aren't compatible in that way.

    But yes I *am* special, thanks for noticing ;)

    Your OP and some of your follow-up posts come off as judgmental of those who choose not to be friends with their exes in non-abusive situations. I can't tell whether you meant for them to be that way or not, but that's the vibe I got.
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
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    I've never been in a relationship where a friendship post breakup was appropriate. Some people can and I don't get it. To each their own!
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
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    I do not spend time with any of my ex's so I don't consider myself to be friends with any of them. However, I am civil with them and they occasionally check in to see how I've been.
  • fatcity66
    fatcity66 Posts: 1,544 Member
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    I have tried staying friends with some of my exes, but THEY didn't want to. It kind of hurt, but I understood, as I was the one ending the relationship, and it was too painful for them to continue to see me.
    Most of my exes though, I just don't care one way or the other, and a few, I'd rather never see again.
    I am still friendly with one of my exes, but he is just an awesomely nice guy, and gave me no reason to NOT remain friends with him. Even so, we rarely talk, and never hang out.
  • RUNNING_AMOK_1958
    RUNNING_AMOK_1958 Posts: 268 Member
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    Why was I with my ex in the first place? Stupidity.
  • RUNNING_AMOK_1958
    RUNNING_AMOK_1958 Posts: 268 Member
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    It depends on how you break up. My husband cheated with my best friend ....so no I dont want to be friends, NOT ever. I hope he gets a very painful genital diesese. ;-)

    I love it!
  • N2Couture
    N2Couture Posts: 2,762 Member
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    In my history, those exes in question, it is far better we have ventured our own ways. A couple were not 'friend' types and the others moved on to happily ever after. Sometimes parting ways is best so your past loves can flourish in life and yours hopefully too.
  • fittatgirl
    fittatgirl Posts: 5 Member
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    All depends on the break up and how civil both people were. I have some exs i have nothing to do with, and others i am good friends with still(these we ended in a civil matter). Depends on the circumstances and how both people can be.
  • helenarriaza
    helenarriaza Posts: 517 Member
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    Why was I with my ex in the first place? Stupidity.

    This.
  • gym_king_carlie
    gym_king_carlie Posts: 528 Member
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    I tried myself to be friends with my ex, but it just made moving on hard, I loved her alot, she broke my heart, I admire her for telling me she no longer was in love with me, but, she would confuse me, I dont think a person should remain friends with an ex, its something I didnt believe in before and I did try but in my opinion its not a good way to move forward in life and wouldnt be fair if I met someone to be hanging out with my ex. I wouldnt like it so why would she, people will come back to that and say you should trust, trust can still be there but doesnt mean youll like it.
    I persnoally want my ex to stay out my life alltogether, I did say she could call over a personal thing regarding her close family if she needed to talk to someone about it, but I think its best we move on, I wish her all the luck in the world. But i want to live my life without the pain the break up caused.
  • KameHameHaaaa
    KameHameHaaaa Posts: 837 Member
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    Screw that haha. My ex cheated on me with a married woman when we were together, lied about his entire life (example: showed me pictures of his "siblings" but turned out he was an only child), had warrants in other states, and turned out to be just generally crazy.

    I'm only friends with one ex. And it's someone I online dated from age 14-16 and never even met in person and we still talk...and still haven't met 15 years later LOL.
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    edited October 2014
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    going from dating to just friends is a downgrade. If at least one of the two wants to stay in the relationship, it seems impossible to me even if both are perfectly good people.
  • Tomm88
    Tomm88 Posts: 733 Member
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    I don't keep in contact with any of my exs, the past is the past right?
  • leadslinger17
    leadslinger17 Posts: 297 Member
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    Tomm88 wrote: »
    I don't keep in contact with any of my exs, the past is the past right?

    Exactly... they were found lacking in some way (or you were) so why bother? Unless it is the rare occasion where you went on a couple dates and there was absolutely no chemistry, one party is normally still interested. If it is them, why lead them on? If it is you, have some self respect and move on. There are 7 billion other people in the world, you can find someone else to be friends with.
  • Slacker16
    Slacker16 Posts: 1,184 Member
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    Relevant to this thread's interest:
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  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    With a few rare exceptions, I am friends with all of my exes. If they were awesome enough to date, they are generally awesome enough to be friends. There are, of course, exceptions that prove the rule.
  • KappaMarc
    KappaMarc Posts: 67 Member
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    Remaining friends with my ex would have made that restraining order problematic to enforce.

    LOL!