How to deal with mean comments?
summercake
Posts: 19
This week has been really tough for me. Im exercising and eating healthy but no weight has come off. But There are still so many people like my "friends" and family who are very snarky to me. I am trying to change my body but I still get called fat and other mean things about my weight. It really is discouraging and hurts. Has this happened to anyone before? How do you deal with it. I feel like I wanna give up.
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Replies
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Stick with the plan and beat them.0
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Please ignore all the mean comments.
If a human being is mean to you, it means they do not care about you.
Return the compliment by ignore them and their comments.
Keep yourself in the path to a healthier lifestyle.
I wish you luck in your journey.0 -
REAL friends won't make fun of you when you're trying to change your life! My friends and I are very sarcastic and borderline mean to each other but we're really kidding and love each other to death..but we'd NEVER joke about something so sensitive or serious...There's gotta be a line drawn with the jokes..
I would talk to your family and friends and tell them how it makes you feel and how serious you really are about this..if they don't want to cut you some slack then cut them off...I know it's tough love, but being around those people who are making you feel bad isn't healthy...just my opinion here...0 -
The only power these sorts of comments have is the power you give them.
Just keep your focus on your goals and let the rest be like water off a duck.0 -
Realise that their mean comments say more about them as a person than they say about you.0
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Your family calls you fat??? Wtf?
Tell them they're no cream puff themself.
Also, think of one of their faults. For example, "you'll have to excuse me if I don't take insults from someone who [insert fault here] too personally."
Or, calmly raise your eyebrows and say "well, I feel like a worthless piece of @#$#@# now. You can go ahead and check that block for the day. What's next on the agenda?"0 -
eff em! get skinny and flaunt it in their face
besides people seem to always act like this to someone trying to better themselves... they are just trying to make themselves feel better about not doing anything to improve themselves0 -
Stick with the plan and beat them.0
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Um Its only been a week? :huh:
Relax.
Jealousy from others is bound to happen.0 -
Don't let their criticism get to you. Take all of that hurt, and do something positive with it. I would take this as an opportunity to prove all of them wrong by showing them what a healthy lifestyle can do. Stick in there, you can do it!
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Friends don't insult you. Family that insult you aren't worth your time or respect.0
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Turn this into a positive thing for yourself to help you reach your goals. Easier said than done, I know, but think of how good it will feel to beat them at their game. It will really stick in their craw watching you reach your goals.0
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Educate them. Explain how much this has improved your life, and why it is good for you. If that doesn't work... Well there is no sense being around toxic people.0
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eff em! get skinny and flaunt it in their face
besides people seem to always act like this to someone trying to better themselves... they are just trying to make themselves feel better about not doing anything to improve themselves0 -
IMO if they make rude comments about you than they arent true friends. Since some are family you cant really leave them so you have to ignore them, but first sit down and talk to them and bring up their rude remarks. Tell them it upsets you and you find them rude. Tell them that you need them as inspiration and support and they arent doing that if they make fun of you. make sure they understand that they should be a rock that supports not a rock that brings you down. if they dont stop with their rude remarks then do your best to ignore them and use them as motivation. if your about to give up on an exercise/diet use them to motivate you and prove them wrong. trust me nothing feels better then when you prove someone wrong. they obviously dont understand what you are going through but we do so if you are feeling discouraged or down get on here because there are plenty of people on this site that know how hard it is to lose weight and they will support you 100%. feel free to add me if you would like to.0
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wait, these people are supposed to be your friends and they are saying mean things to you?!?
oh hell no, there's no way you should ignore that. those people should be the main ones you can trust to be on your side.
personally, i'd tell those b*tches to kiss my fat *kitten* and go drink a cup of bleach because they've voted off the friendship island.
as for family, i'd mean comment right back at them.. people tend to stop saying mean stuff to you when you remind them about how their spouse is cheating, how they can't keep a job, how they just lost their house, how they're losing their hair, etc. i'd rather be evil :devil: than a doormat
don;t be afraid to let go of the crappy negative people in your life. when you do it frees up space for you to have good quality folks come in 0 -
REAL friends won't make fun of you when you're trying to change your life!
This.
Just ignore and concentrate on your weight loss. You owe that to your body after all that hard work! Wish you luck0 -
Well, there are times when I join in and laugh at myself (Asian culture, everybody makes fun of each other)
There are times when I turn on them and make fun of them.
But the most fun is when I know its somebody who doesn't mean jack to me and I get to tell them to go "pleasure" themselve0 -
Mean comments usually are made to get a reaction out of you. No reaction, then comments usually stop. Lol, the shoulder shrug usually works well. Then as you lose weight, you start smiling more as you do them.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
wow thanks everyone. I feel better. Just needed to know that Im not alone in this. And im certainly going to kick these mean people out of my life If they dont stop.
I mean its just gone too far. Last year on my birthday one of my real friends bought me a cake and we were all at my house getting ready to celebrate. So my other "friend" comes up to me and sees me holding the cake I was given. She looks me up and down and told me "Really? I see you still haven't had enough."
I cried in my room that day. On my birthday. Now I see that its not okay for me to be treated like trash because of my weight. So thanks everyone for the support. I wish you all were my family.0 -
Your post reminded me of the following.
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Wow ~ I am so sorry that you have people in your life who would say such things ~ it is specially sadden when it is our our family who are so destructive and negative towards us
I agree with the others ... people who feel the need to tear others down, use derogatory comments and spew negativity toward others do so because they have insecurities and failures in themselves they are embarrassed/ashamed off and in an effort to distract themselves from dealing with those issues they focus on what they perceive as imperfections and failings in others in an effort to feel better about themselves!
For years in my life I allowed others to treat me this way too because for years I believed the way people spoke to me to be 'true' that I deserved to be treated that way that I was worthless, a failure and so forth .... than one day I realized that these people are not 'friends or family' who I NEED in my life that I deserved more that I wanted more from my life and that life was too short not to be surrounded by people who wanted the best for me ... I choose to walk away from those who would hurt me with their words, who would hold me down and knock the wind out of my sails when I tried even if I failed at it ... I choose to seek out new friends and people to call 'family' ... people who support me to follow my dreams, people who give me a hand up when I fall down and tell me to try again rather than look down at me and say 'see knew you'd fail'!
I know it is hard but sometimes we need to stand tall and tell others NO I will not allow you to treat me like this and if you choose too than I will have to remove you from my life because your actions and behaviour are full of toxic energy and I do not want nor need that in my life .... our journey here on this earth is precious ~ we need to seek out those who bring positive energy and light to share it with!0 -
Don't let the terrorists win. Use their bad attitudes to fuel your desire for change.0
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Call out the mean people on their mean comments. Seriously, when a mean person makes a comment like the one about the cake, just say something along the lines of "I know I'm fat, do you know you're a jerk?"
That may not make the comment hurt any less, but it will gain you support from others around you. You have to practice these statements before the fact, because when we are being attacked either physically or emotionally, we tend to freeze. Practice first, then let the mean people have it when the time is right!0 -
Turn this into a positive thing for yourself to help you reach your goals. Easier said than done, I know, but think of how good it will feel to beat them at their game. It will really stick in their craw watching you reach your goals.
i agree 100%! don't LET them hurt you with ugly words and judgements. turn the hurt into drive. think of the negative comments like your calorie ticker...for every calorie that you burn, you are burning one more negative comment. think of them as fuel.
however, i do want to suggest sitting down with your family members that are being so hurtful. give them a heads up that while jokes are great, this is NOT something they are allowed to joke about. better yet, if you have any supportive family members, go to them with your results. share your achievements with THEM, rather than the more negative ones.
as for the so called "friends," please steer clear! that kind of negativity is unacceptable. they can't stop saying these nasty things, then they are not in this relationship for any benefit to you. they only want to hurt you. stick with the friends that DO care about you. see if any of your positive friends is willing to be a work-out buddy...or at least willing to motivate you. sometimes you need a critic to push you a little. you don't need an attacker breaking you down.
i wish you all the best!0 -
To be cliche, No one can insult you without your consent0
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The reason why you haven't lose any weight is because your replacing the body weight with muscle with is also taking up the weight sometimes it's not always about the weight it's about the inches you lose. And don't let people put you down sweetie use their comments to motivate you because they are going to end up gobsmacked when they see the new you. I know exactly what your going through because I'm going through the exact same thing I get called names all the time especially from the people who are the most closest to me. And it's ok to get upset I mean you are human after all but after your done being upset pick yourself up wipe your tears and get back to getting fit so you can show them people that they are not going to bring you down and you will show them that all those names they called you gave you motivation to beat them.
I'm sorry your going through this but I hope you the best of luck sweetie.. 0 -
I was called fat a#% and fat slob when I had already started losing weight..it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would because I was working hard to get the weight off already..now the people who said that have not been doing so well..one gained 30 or so pounds and the other has an eating disorder..I don't say anything mean but it really shows that karma exists. I've lost 54 lbs so far and I worked hard for it so it's okay. What I'm trying to say, dear, is ignore those people..keep doing what you're doing and prove them wrong! You can do this. The haters are going to hate because they are insecure and jealous. I know that's true cause I've known so many people like that.0
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Yup, even just 4-5 months ago some of the skinnier people I know would make fun of my weight, now my bf% is I believe lower than theirs and I make fun of theirs. Revenge is sweet
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don't let them stop you doing it.
They clearly think you haven't got it in you to succeed but you will and then they will have to focus on some one else to get their mean kick.
use it to push you're self to reach you're goal and that they are being rude about you to take their minds of their own bodies.0
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