How to deal with mean comments?

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  • jadedone
    jadedone Posts: 2,449 Member
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    Your post reminded me of the following.

    mean.gif
  • totallyawake
    totallyawake Posts: 8 Member
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    Wow ~ I am so sorry that you have people in your life who would say such things ~ it is specially sadden when it is our our family who are so destructive and negative towards us :cry:

    I agree with the others ... people who feel the need to tear others down, use derogatory comments and spew negativity toward others do so because they have insecurities and failures in themselves they are embarrassed/ashamed off and in an effort to distract themselves from dealing with those issues they focus on what they perceive as imperfections and failings in others in an effort to feel better about themselves!

    For years in my life I allowed others to treat me this way too because for years I believed the way people spoke to me to be 'true' that I deserved to be treated that way that I was worthless, a failure and so forth .... than one day I realized that these people are not 'friends or family' who I NEED in my life that I deserved more that I wanted more from my life and that life was too short not to be surrounded by people who wanted the best for me ... I choose to walk away from those who would hurt me with their words, who would hold me down and knock the wind out of my sails when I tried even if I failed at it ... I choose to seek out new friends and people to call 'family' ... people who support me to follow my dreams, people who give me a hand up when I fall down and tell me to try again rather than look down at me and say 'see knew you'd fail'!

    I know it is hard but sometimes we need to stand tall and tell others NO I will not allow you to treat me like this and if you choose too than I will have to remove you from my life because your actions and behaviour are full of toxic energy and I do not want nor need that in my life .... our journey here on this earth is precious ~ we need to seek out those who bring positive energy and light to share it with!
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    Don't let the terrorists win. Use their bad attitudes to fuel your desire for change.
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
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    Call out the mean people on their mean comments. Seriously, when a mean person makes a comment like the one about the cake, just say something along the lines of "I know I'm fat, do you know you're a jerk?"

    That may not make the comment hurt any less, but it will gain you support from others around you. You have to practice these statements before the fact, because when we are being attacked either physically or emotionally, we tend to freeze. Practice first, then let the mean people have it when the time is right!
  • angelcurry130
    angelcurry130 Posts: 265 Member
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    Turn this into a positive thing for yourself to help you reach your goals. Easier said than done, I know, but think of how good it will feel to beat them at their game. It will really stick in their craw watching you reach your goals.

    i agree 100%! don't LET them hurt you with ugly words and judgements. turn the hurt into drive. think of the negative comments like your calorie ticker...for every calorie that you burn, you are burning one more negative comment. think of them as fuel.

    however, i do want to suggest sitting down with your family members that are being so hurtful. give them a heads up that while jokes are great, this is NOT something they are allowed to joke about. better yet, if you have any supportive family members, go to them with your results. share your achievements with THEM, rather than the more negative ones.

    as for the so called "friends," please steer clear! that kind of negativity is unacceptable. they can't stop saying these nasty things, then they are not in this relationship for any benefit to you. they only want to hurt you. stick with the friends that DO care about you. see if any of your positive friends is willing to be a work-out buddy...or at least willing to motivate you. sometimes you need a critic to push you a little. you don't need an attacker breaking you down.

    i wish you all the best!
  • Marchandite
    Marchandite Posts: 5 Member
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    To be cliche, No one can insult you without your consent
  • Rozia1993
    Rozia1993 Posts: 3
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    The reason why you haven't lose any weight is because your replacing the body weight with muscle with is also taking up the weight sometimes it's not always about the weight it's about the inches you lose. And don't let people put you down sweetie use their comments to motivate you because they are going to end up gobsmacked when they see the new you. I know exactly what your going through because I'm going through the exact same thing I get called names all the time especially from the people who are the most closest to me. And it's ok to get upset I mean you are human after all but after your done being upset pick yourself up wipe your tears and get back to getting fit so you can show them people that they are not going to bring you down and you will show them that all those names they called you gave you motivation to beat them.

    I'm sorry your going through this but I hope you the best of luck sweetie.. :)
  • LoveDreamSmile
    LoveDreamSmile Posts: 93
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    I was called fat a#% and fat slob when I had already started losing weight..it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would because I was working hard to get the weight off already..now the people who said that have not been doing so well..one gained 30 or so pounds and the other has an eating disorder..I don't say anything mean but it really shows that karma exists. I've lost 54 lbs so far and I worked hard for it so it's okay. What I'm trying to say, dear, is ignore those people..keep doing what you're doing and prove them wrong! You can do this. The haters are going to hate because they are insecure and jealous. I know that's true cause I've known so many people like that.
  • alyhuggan
    alyhuggan Posts: 717 Member
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    Yup, even just 4-5 months ago some of the skinnier people I know would make fun of my weight, now my bf% is I believe lower than theirs and I make fun of theirs. Revenge is sweet >:)
  • Garlicmash
    Garlicmash Posts: 208
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    don't let them stop you doing it.
    They clearly think you haven't got it in you to succeed but you will and then they will have to focus on some one else to get their mean kick.
    use it to push you're self to reach you're goal and that they are being rude about you to take their minds of their own bodies.
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
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    Ignore your family, either they are being mean or think they are offering motivation through negativity.
    Get better friends.
    Continue down your path, you are doing this for you and nobody else.
  • PinkyMouse
    PinkyMouse Posts: 37 Member
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    I have been named by a lot of "birdy" names by my so-called friends, commenting my weight, the size of my butt, even the shape of my nose....
    Once I managed to lose weight (i am 5'2.5 and weighted 123lbs and was 23) and decided to reward myself with a nice dress for summer. I saw my dad, showed him the dress (with me inside) and he said "it is ok, but do not take any weight"... Thanks daddy chéri unique et préféré....
    Once, at the job, I have been compared with one of my female colleague. One woman said about me: "in life, it is better to be less pretty and more pleasant and smiling". Great moment... that was supposed to be a compliment.... Man, did I had to say "thanks"??? it was hurtfull and funny at the same time... I decided to take it by the funny side ! Yes, I am a smiling and pleasant person !

    So yeah, people can be mean or not supporting. Some on purpose and some not... So as everyone said here, what matters is the importance you give to those comments... So take sthrength from them or focus on the comments of supporting people.

    With mean people, it depends the relationship you have with them: familly, close friends versus classmates or colleagues.

    So there is the gentle way with people who might understand: 1- explain gently that they are not encouraging at all and that you would appreciated their support. And if they cannot support you, then ask them at least to avoid any comments 2- use the humour sentences like "thanks, I love you too" often works and avoid serious talks
    And there is the mean way, which might work too but it is sad to come to that... Everyone has a complex, play with that ! and you'll see that people will stop commenting ! After a mean comment, I usely used "seriously, have you seen your face ? better my a** than your face" with a large smile on my face ! With these people, the less you show them that it affects you, the more they get bored of teasing you.

    it is difficult to loose weight and feel good in your skin. It takes courage and strength to change for a better you ! Don't let anyone discourage you, you deserve better and they do not deserve importance... Good luck in your journey for a better you !
  • Donald_Dozier_50
    Donald_Dozier_50 Posts: 395 Member
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    You are losing weight for YOURSELF not for other people. Please don't let the comments from childish people get in the way of YOUR PLAN and YOUR GOALS.
    GET BETTER FRIENDS ! !
  • summercake
    summercake Posts: 19
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    I wont
  • 2aycocks
    2aycocks Posts: 415 Member
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    REAL "friends" will not call you ugly names. Perhaps these are people you don;'t need in your life? Maybe they are trying to sabotage you from losing weight.

    And family members should be ashamed! When someone does that, sometimes a look is worth a thousand words. If they call you a name, stop what you are doing, stand perfectly still, and lock eyes with them. Just look at them, not a mean or hateful look, just stare. Hold the stare until THEY feel uncomfortable!

    If that doesn't help, talk to them. Ask them if you had cancer, would they call you names for it? NO??? Then why make fun when you are trying to get healthy by eating differently and exercising? HUMMM??????
  • shutterbug282
    shutterbug282 Posts: 588 Member
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    My family have been like that since the beginning, lately they've stopped with the comments. Since they've seen I'm happier, and nearing my goal weight, they've stopped. :)
    Maybe talk to your family? They might not know their comments are hurting you. :)
  • Chickyjd
    Chickyjd Posts: 131 Member
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    All the more reason to keep going, then one day you can make them eat their own words! You seriously do not need people like that in your life! All the best - feel free to add me for friendship and support! X
  • simply_meggie
    simply_meggie Posts: 16 Member
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    Stay positive and do not give it. Remember, you CAN do this! :)
  • paradisochick
    paradisochick Posts: 83
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    This week has been really tough for me. Im exercising and eating healthy but no weight has come off. But There are still so many people like my "friends" and family who are very snarky to me. I am trying to change my body but I still get called fat and other mean things about my weight. It really is discouraging and hurts. Has this happened to anyone before? How do you deal with it. I feel like I wanna give up.

    I totally understand where you are coming from. A comment was made on MFP the other night that I look like a pig. ON MFP! I laughed it off but it still lingers with me a little now.

    There will always be people out there that are mean and rude and feel so very little about themselves that they feel the need to pull others down with them. They have no class and respect for others - and frankly I find it very sad.

    You're right, it does hurt and is very discouraging. It's up to us to turn that all around and make something good come out of it! You know that you are MORE than the names you are being called, you are worth the respect and please know that. Like others have already said, just ignore them. Don't give in.
  • Bankman1989
    Bankman1989 Posts: 1,116 Member
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    This week has been really tough for me. Im exercising and eating healthy but no weight has come off. But There are still so many people like my "friends" and family who are very snarky to me. I am trying to change my body but I still get called fat and other mean things about my weight. It really is discouraging and hurts. Has this happened to anyone before? How do you deal with it. I feel like I wanna give up.
    LISTEN! Just keep pressing forward! You will prove them wrong. Losing weight is just as much mental as physical. You allowing them to get in your head could hurt you.

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