Non supportive spouse

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Replies

  • Daiako
    Daiako Posts: 12,545 Member
    Did we ever establish in what ways the OP's husband doesn't support her?
  • hortensehildegarde
    hortensehildegarde Posts: 592 Member
    Daiako wrote: »
    Did we ever establish in what ways the OP's husband doesn't support her?

    no OP hasn't answered yet
  • MsHarryWinston
    MsHarryWinston Posts: 1,027 Member
    Hmmm I find this interesting. It would be nice to know more specifically how he isn't supportive.

    In my relationship he can scarf chips in front of me all he wants, I don't care. I don't expect him to change his eating, or start working out or in anyway join me on this journey. (The guy is a friggin beanpole!). I don't talk to him about it much I just do my thing.
    But on occasions when I do tell him about a goal I have it how close I am to reaching it he cheers me on for sure! And comforts me when I struggle.
    He tells me I'm beautiful no matter what size I am, he just wants me to be happy. And that's all the support I need.

    Being supportive means different things to different people so more info about the OPs situation really would be great.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Daiako wrote: »
    Did we ever establish in what ways the OP's husband doesn't support her?

    That's a negative... the responses are funny since no one knows what the OP is talking about.
  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
    I wonder what the OP means when she says her husband doesn't support her. I often hear people complaining about others being "unsupportive" and "sabotaging their weightloss" usually because the evil evil spouse had the nerve to bring chocolates into their own home. The nerve!

    Then you have the people who are yo-yo dieters. Their spouses see the yo-yo rolling again and roll their eyes/are unsupportive. The yo-yo-er comes to MFP, laments how they never lose weight because their spouse doesn't support them, when really it's the other way around: the spouse is unsupportive because the weight loss is not a real commitment. It's just words and fads and then back to old habits.

    OP: What is he doing? How does it make you feel when he says or does what he says or does? Talk to him about it, not the internet.
  • Vina4
    Vina4 Posts: 23 Member
    I know it isnt easy. My husband until recently was very much an enabler for me. He would go to the gym with me and even work out with me. But, he would have no problem stopping for fast food for dinner or asking me if i wanted a soda or something for lunch. I know a lot of people will say i should of had more will power. It wasnt easy and then when i was way under my calorie allowance, He didnt care.

    Honestly, it took my personal trainer sitting down with him an explaining to him that i need his support not only in goiivng to the gym but also in eating. That he needed to be there for me. That he needed to check in to see if i was getting enough calories etc. After that talk, he has been much more supportive. He even has gone so far as to tell me know when i ask for chips or chocolate or whatever. I dont see him as bossy but I see and feel like he truly cares. In the end, I realize as long as he supports me in this that is all that is matters. I support him in his weight loss. But, i also know all i can do is point things out and make healthy lunches and dinner for him. I cant control what he does when he is at work.
  • Ilysandrew11
    Ilysandrew11 Posts: 133 Member
    Keep continuing and don't let anyone stand in your way! You got this!!
  • Otterluv
    Otterluv Posts: 9,083 Member
    Daiako wrote: »
    Did we ever establish in what ways the OP's husband doesn't support her?

    I came in here to ask this. It's difficult to advise without any clarification.
  • SuninVirgo
    SuninVirgo Posts: 255 Member
    logg1e wrote: »
    WTF? Come on - how many of you would refuse to support your partner? How many of you would not mind your children so your partner could exercise? How many of you would insist on having crap food in the house, let alone eating it in front of your partner? How many of you would undermine or sabatage a loved one's attempts to be happier and healthier?

    "Appreciate the support at any level" my foot!

    I agree with this, she's not angry, she's realistic. Keep throwing out the crap and go to the gym. I couldn't be with someone who wasn't supportive of me. Thank goodness I'm not.
  • peter56765
    peter56765 Posts: 352 Member
    Just because you have changed your lifestyle does not give you the right to demand that the people in your household do the same. The best way to get your spouse on board with your new way of living is to demonstrate its positive aspects, not lecture and nag about how unhealthy they are currently being. Trust me. They already know. Be upbeat, full of energy and ready to go all the time and the good vibes will become infectious.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    randomtai wrote: »
    Daiako wrote: »
    Did we ever establish in what ways the OP's husband doesn't support her?

    That's a negative... the responses are funny since no one knows what the OP is talking about.

    my thoughts exactly...

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