This is causing problems with my friends

Options
caimay149
caimay149 Posts: 65 Member
in Motivation and Support
I was supposed to go out to dinner with a friend tomorrow, and we had a restaurant planned where the nutrition information is available online, so I can get exact calorie counts. However, as always, she now wants to change and go to a Thai place. I don't really care for Thai/Chinese food (I ate way too much of it in my overeating days, and finally just got sick of it) and also the foods like really unhealthy and there is no nutrition info online.

I'm just frustrated that she doesn't get why it's important to me to go somewhere I can get the calorie count. It probably sounds stupid and trivial to her, but to me it's not just about calorie counts. It's about getting to a healthy weight without taking longer than I need to, because I have some recurring foot injuries that are made worse by my excess weight, and as a result I'm having to miss out on dance classes and projects I could be working on. I don't want to delay my progress all for the sake of some greasy pad thai. Grr.

Rant over.
«13456

Replies

  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Options
    Kinda sounds like she's the one with the problem.
  • loribethrice
    loribethrice Posts: 620 Member
    Options
    The problem is her, not you. If you guys already had a restaurant chosen and you were both in agreement, then she had no right to choose a different one. Especially one she knew you wouldn't really want to go to. It sounds like she's trying to sabotage your efforts.
  • caimay149
    caimay149 Posts: 65 Member
    Options
    I tried to appease her with a Japanese restaurant that has the calorie counts, and she was like 'what is wrong with [the one she suggested?' I told her I didn't really like that stuff, which she knows, and she was like, well you just suggested the Japanese one which is the same thing (it's not, it's more like healthy, less greasy stir fries). Sigh. I'm over it. No dinner with this friend any more.
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
    Options
    caimay149 wrote: »
    I tried to appease her with a Japanese restaurant that has the calorie counts, and she was like 'what is wrong with [the one she suggested?' I told her I didn't really like that stuff, which she knows, and she was like, well you just suggested the Japanese one which is the same thing (it's not, it's more like healthy, less greasy stir fries). Sigh. I'm over it. No dinner with this friend any more.

    What are you on about? Why should the OP expect flexibility from her friends when she cant do it herself? We are all adults here. There is more than one way to skin a cat.
  • caimay149
    caimay149 Posts: 65 Member
    Options
    Eldamiano, are you a troll or did you wake up on the wrong side of bed this morning? I'm not going to respond to any more of your posts. MFP is a place for support and this morning I've seen you go from post to post to post trying to provoke people.
  • Fuzzipeg
    Fuzzipeg Posts: 2,298 Member
    Options
    If you do not like the food which is now her preferred choice you are permitted to say so. I think this is your major issue now. It does not matter, is totally irrelevant that you want to count calories.
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
    Options
    caimay149 wrote: »
    Eldamiano, are you a troll or did you wake up on the wrong side of bed this morning? I'm not going to respond to any more of your posts. MFP is a place for support and this morning I've seen you go from post to post to post trying to provoke people.

    Newsflash - forums are there to invite opinion. I expressed mine. You dont like it. You have come to the conclusion I am a troll. Calm down dear....
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
    Options
    I would be more annoyed that she picked something you don't like and insists on going there, posted calorie count or not. Yeah, I probably wouldn't go either.
  • scottacular
    scottacular Posts: 597 Member
    Options
    Don't like restaurant, don't go. Friends are supposed to like each other enough to agree on something both of you like. If you can't do that, maybe you need to review your friendship.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
    Options
    I would leave the calorie count thing to one side and just tell her you don't want Thai. If she insists, I'd call dinner off. I refuse to pay good money for food I don't want, and if she's going to dig heels in and refuse to compromise, well... I wouldn't really want to have dinner with her at all.
  • Timelordlady85
    Timelordlady85 Posts: 797 Member
    Options
    I would be annoyed as well. If she is not willing to compromise then she doesn't sound like a good friend to me.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Options
    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    I would leave the calorie count thing to one side and just tell her you don't want Thai. If she insists, I'd call dinner off. I refuse to pay good money for food I don't want, and if she's going to dig heels in and refuse to compromise, well... I wouldn't really want to have dinner with her at all.

    this... dont make it about calorie counting...a lot of people dont 'get it' and to be honest, they dont have to... just say you dont like chinese but are happy to go to the original place or japanese or you'll just give a rain check for now.
  • CoachJen71
    CoachJen71 Posts: 1,200 Member
    Options
    What about maybe eating take-out from different restaurants at your place or hers?
  • lishie_rebooted
    lishie_rebooted Posts: 2,973 Member
    Options
    caimay149 wrote: »
    Eldamiano, are you a troll or did you wake up on the wrong side of bed this morning? I'm not going to respond to any more of your posts. MFP is a place for support and this morning I've seen you go from post to post to post trying to provoke people.

    While you are on the "motivation and support" board, in general, MFP is not a place of support. It's a calorie counter.
  • lishie_rebooted
    lishie_rebooted Posts: 2,973 Member
    Options
    Frankly, both of you need to grow up.

    I get that you have foot issues and losing weight will help but with how stubborn you're being, you might lose a friend to. Reading this post, I wouldn't want to be your friend.
  • 50sFit
    50sFit Posts: 712 Member
    edited October 2014
    Options
    loribethrice wrote: »
    The problem is her, not you. If you guys already had a restaurant chosen and you were both in agreement, then she had no right to choose a different one. Especially one she knew you wouldn't really want to go to. It sounds like she's trying to sabotage your efforts.
    I lost a ton of weight and totally transformed my body as well as attitudes about food, diet and lifestyle. My old friends were part of that other life I had shrugged off and most were jealous of my fitness success. It strained our relationships, and I ended up severing all my friendships.
    As those old doors closed, new doors opened to other folks of common fitness interest and health passion.
    What and where we eat is never an issue.
    p3vk6g8rwrm3.jpg
  • endlessloser
    endlessloser Posts: 106 Member
    Options
    As someone mentioned, it sounds like your friend may be trying to sabotage you, intentionally or not.

    Sometimes friends don't like change - i.e., they think they can force you to stay as you are, concerned that if you change, you won't want to be with them anymore. Stupid thing is, she's doing exactly what she probably doesn't want - something to alienate you from being 'dinner friends'.

    Is she skinny, no weight loss issues? Or, is she overweight and not liking that you are making healthier choices?

    Could be lots of reasons. I would have a polite conversation with her explaining your stand - and be flexible enough to say, look if you don't want Japanese, we can go elsewhere, but for me to go, there MUST be a way for me to see the calorie count etc of the menu first.

    If she doesn't like it, then either she has her own issues, or is trying to dictate what you do.

    And in those cases, I'd just say let's do something other than dinner....
  • endlessloser
    endlessloser Posts: 106 Member
    Options
    603reader wrote: »
    caimay149 wrote: »
    Eldamiano, are you a troll or did you wake up on the wrong side of bed this morning? I'm not going to respond to any more of your posts. MFP is a place for support and this morning I've seen you go from post to post to post trying to provoke people.

    While you are on the "motivation and support" board, in general, MFP is not a place of support. It's a calorie counter.

    Actually you're wrong... read the title of the FORUM: "Motivation and Support"

    So yeah, the OP has every right to ask for support.
  • askeates
    askeates Posts: 1,490 Member
    Options
    it is definitely not you that is the issue... and I agree iwth endlessloser, if you can't agree on a dinner place, then maybe see if you can do something else.
  • stupidloser
    stupidloser Posts: 300 Member
    Options
    one meal at a thai restaurant won't hinder your progress.

Categories