I Blow It EVERY Time :( I need so much support it sucks.

JessaLee0324

This weightloss journey is such a pain in my rear-end. It's depressing. I spend so much time working on it through the week, and then the weekend is a bust. I'll do so well, and feel great by Thursday/Friday...like my butt and stomach are starting to get smaller instead of the normal "bigger". So I lax on food and drink over the weekend, and by Monday I'm so disgusted with myself. And the thought of all the hard work I have to do AGAIN during the new week, only to blow it again, just really gets me down and out.

I just really wish I had a close support buddy or group. That and I need a workout buddy to push me. Both of which aren't happening. I'm doing this ALL by myself and I don't know what to do to get it right

I'm sure there are more people here like me. What works for you? What ways do you trick yourself into sticking with this????? I can't even lose a frigging pound and keep it off at this point

Tbaby1514

Pre-log your meals and leave an extra few calories for an apple or some bell peppers to much on if you do get hungry. Chug water before you eat anything, Find a healthier way to eat "junk". I make these massive burrito bowls that are low calorie because I use braised pork and peppers and onions and salsa for fillers in it. Add me if you'd like, I can hold you accountable as long as you don't think I'm a *kitten* for doing so (have had this happen) lol Just remember that in the end you're the one who has to want to make the changes. Ask yourself what the point in eating the crap is if you know you're going to beat up on yourself later. So far I've lost 43 lbs with sensible diet and I'm just starting to work into exercise as well to help aid weight loss.

funchords

There are at least two organized non-profit groups in the US*, one is called Take Off Pounds Sensibly and another is Overeaters Anonymous. There may also be regional groups. Neither hawks any particular plan, they both meet weekly with more meetings available should you want them. They both have websites: www.tops.org and www.oa.org -- I'm a member of TOPS and have met people from OA and I can recommend either or both of them.

I can't overestimate the usefulness and power of the Internet, but these groups also provide some in-person accountability and helpfulness that a physical meeting does. OA or TOPS provides an extra level of "It's okay, Don't quit" as we struggle to lower our weight.

I'm doing MyFitnessPal, walking 3x a week for 30 minutes, and TOPS. I've lost 60 lbs in 103 days on MyFitnessPal -- it started a lot faster than recommended but has settled down to 2 lbs a week now. I have another 20 to 60 to go, but plan on doing all of this for maintenance -- the rest of my life.

*TOPS is in the US and Canada. OA is also there and in 80 countries worldwide.

Pinkranger626

My two cents: stop thinking of it as something that other people can get you through. When it comes down to it, YOU have control of what YOU do. It's great to have a support team and workout buddies, but when they get busy, or if they aren't reliable will it then be their fault that you aren't reaching your goals?

From your post it seems like weight loss has a very negative tone to you, like it's a punishment rather than a way of life. Maybe now is the time to take a step back and look at your goals, and your process and see if this is really something that's realistic and sustainable for you and your life. Instead of thinking about it as hard work and something that you HAVE to do, think of it as I do this now. It's not punishment, it's not extra, it's just what I do.

Also, stop thinking of it as starting over every week. It sounds as if you are being very restrictive during the week and so the weekend you splurge. If you find ways to incorporate things that you like into your daily and weekly schedules then you won't feel so tempted to splurge on the weekends.

Weight loss and maintaining said weight loss takes time and you may need to adjust frequently to find something that will fit in your life and be sustainable for you.

TossaBeanBag

The laxing on food is probably messing with your metabolism. Your body is switches to wanting to hold on to fat and water when you do that. You do want to restrict your calories to create the deficit, but you need to fine tune the proper ratio of carbs, fats, and proteins for each meal according to the calories you have set for the day.

If you have a lot of fat, like me, a nutritionist may put you on a 50/30/20 plan (50% protein, 30% carbs, and 20% protein). Because of my size and the amount of exercising I do, I have a set number of calories to meet for the day. What size calorie deficit do you need to loose body fat and not muscle? I am not sure what the magical number is. I had a 1000 calorie daily deficit and my muscle was barely increasing and fat was decreasing ... barely. I upped my calories a couple hundred more each day and, now, the rate of fat burning has increased and muscle building has increased.

It is little tweaks and adjustments that need to constantly happen. As I lose fat and gain muscle, I have to check, again. I have to constantly monitor what is happening and adjust accordingly to maximize fat burning. Is it easy. Yeah, but it is time consuming.

My expectations used to be that it would come off easily, but it isn't the case when you want to keep muscle. The goals are somewhat antagonistic; on the one hand, you want a calorie deficit, and on the other hand you are trying to build, so the protein intake has to be really high while losing body fat.

The other key, I am finding out, is adequate water. Your body will retain it, if it doesn't think it is going to be getting enough. So, drink a lot of water. It is like the calories, too: if your body isn't getting enough, it will slow your metabolism, to make sure your brain has adequate fuel. Tune it just right, however, and you will get a "whoosh" effect and suddenly loose lots of fat and not much muscle. However, you have to move, too, to get that effect. It isn't all about diet. You have to make the body want to adapt to a change. You need to push yourself hard and work out for over 40 minutes. Diet is a lot, but body composition changes are adaptations to physical stress to increase efficiencies.

Ultimately, motivation is either going to keep you doing these things are not. So, look inside and ask yourself what you could give your tomorrow's self that you would sure be thankful for, today. Your tomorrow self will thank you for working out hard, eating right, and not binging and starving. It really isn't about just a magical weight and true happiness will arrive forever. You have to earn your happiness. You have to earn your body. You can go about it haphazardly, or you can learn how to eat to optimize your fat burning. You can starve yourself and lose weight and mess with your metabolism, or your can learn to exercise and eat and live a healthy lifestyle. Being smart about it is sure a lot easier and a bigger bang for your time and effort.

Now, go experiment, see what works for you and share your findings, so people do not have to try to reinvent the wheel. Trial and error sucks after a while.

yoovie

This is a 'rest of your life' kind of project, so you cant see it as failing and starting over every week. It's more of an awareness than a project. Be mindful of what you eat, but you dont have to be more than 85% perfect. Be aware of how often you exercise and if you are doing more or less than usual and adjust your balance. Remember to sporadically check your weight a few times a week or month, just to watch for upward or downward trends.

It isn't necessary to micromanage yourself into a corner, or the whole process will suck. This should be a new way of life that you are happy to embrace. So be more conscious when choosing groceries and remember to aim for exercising on certain days each week.

Some people encourage baby steps - I encourage pretending the whole thing is on a backburner while you create new habits. Pretend it isnt life or death, cause it really isnt.

If you focus too hard on something, it consumes your thoughts and creates pressure on you to execute it perfectly. Forget perfect. Forget obsessing. Just slip softly into your new habits like you are slipping into a bubble bath with candles. It's good for you, it's good for your body. It's good for your mental state.

And all of this is because you deserve it. To feel good, to look good, to be strong and healthy and happy. It's okay to be the whole package. In fact, you totally should - at every opportunity.

Good luck!

jrline

you gotta stay positive and work towards your goal daily. Don't try to do any crazy fad diets.

ninerbuff

Anything you TRULY want will be your focus. If it's something you just "desire", then the importance of it won't be enough. People who REALLY WANT something, do what it takes to get it. Whether it be an outfit, tickets to a concert or game, a promotion at work, etc. truly motivated people don't let things stand in there way or let obstacles or set backs deter them.
Plan out your weekend to help meet your goals and stick to it.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

alienbabyjen

workoutgrl87 wrote: »

My two cents: stop thinking of it as something that other people can get you through. When it comes down to it, YOU have control of what YOU do. It's great to have a support team and workout buddies, but when they get busy, or if they aren't reliable will it then be their fault that you aren't reaching your goals?

From your post it seems like weight loss has a very negative tone to you, like it's a punishment rather than a way of life. Maybe now is the time to take a step back and look at your goals, and your process and see if this is really something that's realistic and sustainable for you and your life. Instead of thinking about it as hard work and something that you HAVE to do, think of it as I do this now. It's not punishment, it's not extra, it's just what I do.

Also, stop thinking of it as starting over every week. It sounds as if you are being very restrictive during the week and so the weekend you splurge. If you find ways to incorporate things that you like into your daily and weekly schedules then you won't feel so tempted to splurge on the weekends.

Weight loss and maintaining said weight loss takes time and you may need to adjust frequently to find something that will fit in your life and be sustainable for you.

^^ +a bazillion

JessaLee0324

For me, having people like all of you (blunt or not) giving your two cents is a good reinforcement. It kicks me in gear, reading all of your thoughts and ideas. It's reasurring. Sometimes I need a kick in the rear to really get going. It's almost like, if no one else knows I'm laxing or skipping a workout, I'm in the clear. Having someone see me eat a donut and look at me and say, "you are going to get fat if you eat that. I see your pants are already getting a bit too tight." But who in the world is going to be that blunt to someones face? While in my head I'm thinking, I did good this week and can afford a donut.

dopeysmelly

Maybe plan what you're going to eat and your physical activity every single day. Plan it all at least a day in advance, particularly what you're going to do at the weekend. That way, you have figured out how to fit in what you want, including all the things you enjoy, without having to think about it at the time. I've found planning ahead reduces the need for motivation/willpower by about 50%.

Oh and maybe try to stick to the same kind of routines every day? DH sounds very similar to you. His doc told him it was OK to take his blood pressure "a few times a month", rather than daily. Guess what? When he heard that, he forgot to do it for about 2 months. Daily habit makes a lot of this stuff easier.

999tigger

It sounds like you havent established the right mindset.
When it boils down to it you cant have a security guard with you all the time to take away the donut, unless that happens to be you. Understand properly why you want to lose and work out a different strategy to deal with the time of lapse at the weekend.

10lbs so thats maybe 10-20 weeks? and much less than most people have to lose.
Get some MFP friends who will keep an eye on your progress. Dont get depressed get smart and figure out how to adapt your approach.

Your doing good if you keep within your deficit for all 7 days.

UsedToBeHusky

There is so much innuendo that can be taken from the title and the OP... I just can't...

yankeedownsouth

I struggle on weekends too. One thing that I do to make it easier to stay true to my goal is to tighten up during the week and then I have extra for the weekends. For example, my calorie goal for weight loss during the week is about 1650 a day; then on the weekend, I get 1800 calories (Friday, Saturday, Sunday). It makes compliance a whole lot easier.

yoovie

JessaLee0324 wrote: »

For me, having people like all of you (blunt or not) giving your two cents is a good reinforcement. It kicks me in gear, reading all of your thoughts and ideas. It's reasurring. Sometimes I need a kick in the rear to really get going. It's almost like, if no one else knows I'm laxing or skipping a workout, I'm in the clear. Having someone see me eat a donut and look at me and say, "you are going to get fat if you eat that. I see your pants are already getting a bit too tight." But who in the world is going to be that blunt to someones face? While in my head I'm thinking, I did good this week and can afford a donut.

As long as you realize that it is just a temporary fix and that all of the above is actually your own job to do for yourself. You have to remember that you are training to become the kind of person that does this for herself instead of relying on other people.

Getting fit is all about no longer relying on or blaming others and transitioning to owning all of your challenges.

He1loKitty

Weekends are the most challenging time for me too! I try to plan my meals for the weekend ahead of time, and I tell myself that I'm going to exercise both Saturday and Sunday. It helps to focus on the weekend as a time to advance fitness goals. Also, if I'm going out to dinner or to a friend's house and I know there will be indulgent foods and beverages, I try to eat lighter before and after. Try to find a balance of enjoying yourself and being healthy. The weekend shouldn't be a free for all!

JessaLee0324

dopeysmelly wrote: »

Maybe plan what you're going to eat and your physical activity every single day. Plan it all at least a day in advance, particularly what you're going to do at the weekend. That way, you have figured out how to fit in what you want, including all the things you enjoy, without having to think about it at the time. I've found planning ahead reduces the need for motivation/willpower by about 50%.

I always...always stay on plan when I plan! I have to do it one day at a time though. When I start to try and plan a whole week, I get a bit flustered. Nothing goes right when that happens. But what about when life throws curves and planning doesn't happen?

0torque0

Here's what I have been doing and it is sticking: I am setting a positive goal for myself. Instead of a negative goal like "staying away from junk food" I have set a goal to do a triathlon or two in 2015 and keep building from there. That one simple thing has changed everything for me so far. I am more determined and motivated. Before I set the goal it was so easy to "cheat" just a bit, or skip a workout. But with something i am working towards I actually care about whether or not i should eat that brownie. Is it going to set my training back? Will it destroy the workout i just put in? Just a month into MFP and I am in better shape than I have been since college. No, it's not perfect and I have gained a little back, but I can tell something is different this time. Having friends on here helps too, knowing (whether they do or not) that they could look at my food/exercise diary is good accountability. Feel free to add me if you want.

Cortneyrenee04

Plan your weekends just like you plan the weekdays and stick to it! I've been saving my exercise calories to use during the weekend. You could also save 100 calories each day and have extra on the weekends. I really like sticking to my weekly calorie goal instead of a daily one.

You can do it!

Graelwyn75

Sometimes, the solution is to kick your own butt, to be honest.
I have been struggling this year to keep up with my workouts, and to not submit to weeks of binge eating. Every day, I wake up feeling sleepy, tired, depressed (I have SAD and clinical depression as well as lung disease) and I just do not want to go to the gym or workout...sitting having pots of tea and doing crosswords seems so much more comfortable. But, I get myself through the door and once I start, I generally ride it out. It really is a case of what you want most. I just try and go into automatic mode when gym time hits.

BinaryPulsar

UsedToBeHusky wrote: »

There is so much innuendo that can be taken from the title and the OP... I just can't...

I'm impressed that people are giving her advice, and not derailing the thread. But...hehe.

JessaLee0324

0torque0 wrote: »

Here's what I have been doing and it is sticking: I am setting a positive goal for myself. Instead of a negative goal like "staying away from junk food" I have set a goal to do a triathlon or two in 2015 and keep building from there. That one simple thing has changed everything for me so far. I am more determined and motivated. Before I set the goal it was so easy to "cheat" just a bit, or skip a workout. But with something i am working towards I actually care about whether or not i should eat that brownie. Is it going to set my training back? Will it destroy the workout i just put in? .

Good advice! Right now I am in the midst of just trying to figure out what I should even be doing for working out. I've always wanted to do a half-marathon. But I have been looking into ways to get your body into shape, and everyone is saying weight training and no cardio. Ah! Training for a half would for sure be a LOT of cardio. And right now, just getting into working out, I want to ease into it.

JessaLee0324

BinaryPulsar wrote: »

UsedToBeHusky wrote: »

There is so much innuendo that can be taken from the title and the OP... I just can't...

I'm impressed that people are giving her advice, and not derailing the thread. But...hehe.

You guys....really???

BinaryPulsar

JessaLee0324 wrote: »

BinaryPulsar wrote: »

UsedToBeHusky wrote: »

There is so much innuendo that can be taken from the title and the OP... I just can't...

I'm impressed that people are giving her advice, and not derailing the thread. But...hehe.

You guys....really???

Sorry. You are right. It's juvenile, I know. :flowerforyou: But, I really was glad the thread was not getting derailed because it does happen sometimes. I should have just thought it and not replied (because I actually don't like when it does get derailed). And actually, if you want the comments deleted, it's ok to report it, they will delete it.

JessaLee0324

I didn't think twice about the title when I wrote it. But you are right, it is pretty bad if you are thinking that way. lol I will try and be more mindful of that next time.

VelveteenArabian

You need to REALLY think this through. A few days of eating at a deficit isn't going to be enough to shrink your thighs that much, if at all. So what's changing? Your perception. You feel better after making the changes and you start to view yourself more positively.

However, you then give up on the changes - on your "diet". Well...how did you end up where you are in the first place? You have to treat this as a lifestyle change - not as a temporary diet.

To get X results you have to make Y changes and to keep those changes you have to do Z. Deviate from there and you'll remain on your circle of frustration.

radimage

The weekends are the hardest. If you don't slip too much, though...you should still be okay. Just work extra hard during the week.

snoringcat

JessaLee0324 wrote: »

0torque0 wrote: »

Here's what I have been doing and it is sticking: I am setting a positive goal for myself. Instead of a negative goal like "staying away from junk food" I have set a goal to do a triathlon or two in 2015 and keep building from there. That one simple thing has changed everything for me so far. I am more determined and motivated. Before I set the goal it was so easy to "cheat" just a bit, or skip a workout. But with something i am working towards I actually care about whether or not i should eat that brownie. Is it going to set my training back? Will it destroy the workout i just put in? .

Good advice! Right now I am in the midst of just trying to figure out what I should even be doing for working out. I've always wanted to do a half-marathon. But I have been looking into ways to get your body into shape, and everyone is saying weight training and no cardio. Ah! Training for a half would for sure be a LOT of cardio. And right now, just getting into working out, I want to ease into it.

If you want to do a half marathon, then a good (& gentle) way to get started is something like a C25K program. If you've not run before (like me) then it's a great way to start.

Running 3 times a week or so will also give you that extra 'leeway' at the weekends.

TheVirgoddess

JessaLee0324 wrote: »

This weightloss journey is such a pain in my rear-end. It's depressing. I spend so much time working on it through the week, and then the weekend is a bust. I'll do so well, and feel great by Thursday/Friday...like my butt and stomach are starting to get smaller instead of the normal "bigger". So I lax on food and drink over the weekend, and by Monday I'm so disgusted with myself. And the thought of all the hard work I have to do AGAIN during the new week, only to blow it again, just really gets me down and out.

I just really wish I had a close support buddy or group. That and I need a workout buddy to push me. Both of which aren't happening. I'm doing this ALL by myself and I don't know what to do to get it right

I'm sure there are more people here like me. What works for you? What ways do you trick yourself into sticking with this????? I can't even lose a frigging pound and keep it off at this point

I haven't read any other responses, so apologies if I'm repeating something.

Perhaps a weekly tracking approach is best for you? You track daily, but you focus on a weekly calorie goal, instead of daily. That way you could "save" calories for the weekend.

Outside of that, you need to identify why you tend to binge on the weekends - feeling lazy? Being stuck at home? Drinking? Whatever the reason is, you can fix it.

Good luck.

jgnatca

How about brainstorming how to change your environment at home? Here's some tips.

• Put "healthy" choices in accessible locations in visible containers.
• Remove the less healthy choices or stash them in the back.
• Resolve to visit other places other than the kitchen cupboards. You might be eating from boredom. So go on a bike ride, a walk around the block, something like that.
• Pack up your daily allotment just like you do for work, and graze from that.

neandermagnon

yoovie wrote: »

This is a 'rest of your life' kind of project, so you cant see it as failing and starting over every week. It's more of an awareness than a project. Be mindful of what you eat, but you dont have to be more than 85% perfect. Be aware of how often you exercise and if you are doing more or less than usual and adjust your balance. Remember to sporadically check your weight a few times a week or month, just to watch for upward or downward trends.

It isn't necessary to micromanage yourself into a corner, or the whole process will suck. This should be a new way of life that you are happy to embrace. So be more conscious when choosing groceries and remember to aim for exercising on certain days each week.

Some people encourage baby steps - I encourage pretending the whole thing is on a backburner while you create new habits. Pretend it isnt life or death, cause it really isnt.

If you focus too hard on something, it consumes your thoughts and creates pressure on you to execute it perfectly. Forget perfect. Forget obsessing. Just slip softly into your new habits like you are slipping into a bubble bath with candles. It's good for you, it's good for your body. It's good for your mental state.

And all of this is because you deserve it. To feel good, to look good, to be strong and healthy and happy. It's okay to be the whole package. In fact, you totally should - at every opportunity.

Good luck!

^^^^ this

and also: aim for slow and steady weight loss, it doesn't matter how long it takes to get there, what matters is staying there once you do get there. Set your goal to lose weight at 1lb/week if you have a lot to lose or 0.5lb if you only have a little to lose. Try to hit your calorie goal as close as you can, i.e. don't be under (it makes you hungry and more likely to eat later on, which may not hit until a few days later)... give yourself room in your calorie goal to eat what food you want, just be really careful to weigh and measure it accurately... that way you can enjoy all foods without going off your diet, and that'll make it a lot easier to stick to, then set goals for sticking to it, i.e 1 week goal, 2 week goal, 1 month goal, 3 month goal, 6 month goal, 1 year goal, etc. Whatever exercise you do, make it something you'll enjoy and stick to, and calculate the calories carefully and eat back around 80% of them. Make the process as enjoyable as you can... you don't want to feel deprived or tortured by it, that way you'll find it a lot easier to stick to at weekends. You can even give yourself a bit of extra leeway by eating at maintenance calories one day a week... this will make the process a bit slower, but so long as you are consistently losing weight, it doesn't matter if you take longer to get there, what matters is that you are able to stay there when you do get there.