"I hope you work hard for that!"

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kits3n
kits3n Posts: 10 Member
in Motivation and Support
Ok, I started MFP after I'd already lost some weight- in truth I am down a full 90lbs and on my way to fit. I run 2 miles a day, do strength training, and try to bun another 200 calories on top of that daily- even through the worst of my recently developed pollen allergies. For months I have been planning this epic weekend with a festival on saturday and a carnival on sunday and had promised myself some extremely tasty morsels, not as a reward so to speak because I don't believe in food as a reward, but rather a thank you to myself for taking such good care of myself and working so hard. I don't look fat in clothes anymore. Naked I've got some definite trouble areas, but no one's looking at me in normal clothes and thinking yup she's fat- I just don't look the part anymore. Or so I thought. Yesterdays treats were mainly alcohol based, and today was a lobster roll, a sushi burrito, and the crown jewel- a bowl of cake fried ice cream with blackberry sauce. It was amazing. As I was taking it from the truck to my seat this very thin woman commented "I hope you work hard for that!" I was shocked. She sounded pleasant enough when she said it. Maybe now that I've lost weight people assume by looking at me I'm more confident and can take a joke- but really I'm not. It made me feel terrible. I do work hard, and I thought that showed- but maybe not. I keep going back and forth between thinking emotionally that the woman was judging me negatively, and thinking more realistically that she was judging me positively- and ultimately it doesn't matter either way. How do I stop obsessing about this kind of thing? Should I expect comments like this now? It's very confusing.
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Replies

  • sentaruu
    sentaruu Posts: 2,206 Member
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    forget them, and their opinions.. they really don't matter in the grand scheme of things. just know you do work hard for it and you've earned the right to stuff your face with all of the delicious goodness you want.
  • bethjpsu
    bethjpsu Posts: 33 Member
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    just ignore the skinny commenter- just an ignoramus!!! ppl are so stupid, so cruel, anything to make themselves feel superior - feel sorry for her- lots of insecurities!! I hope you enjoyed all your treats! having them just once in a while ups the satisfaction level I think...
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
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    Some people are thoughtless/ mean. 'Sorry that you had to hear that.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    Last Thursday on the train a scruffy slightly smelly man told me that the aliens were taking over the earth and already have control of party plan sales systems. I'd pay as much attention to the lady who spoke to you as I did to him. It's a stranger. Who said something stupid. It's not on you to worry about, it's on them.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    Most people you meet don't know the journey you've been on, they only see that momentary snapshot.

    Don't worry about. Sounds like you're totally rocking it. :drinker:
  • Cortneyrenee04
    Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
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    :open_mouth: I'm so sorry. I wouldn't even know how to handle that. I obsess a lot too. I can't imagine why she would need to comment! I hope you can forget about her and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.
  • kaseasteele
    kaseasteele Posts: 86 Member
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    I'm not nice enough to take comments like that. If a stranger says something like that to me, they'll hear my not very nice side.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    edited October 2014
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    She was probably feeling bitter because the way she maintains her very thin frame is by not allowing herself to enjoy any treat foods. I would not concern yourself about it, you had every right to have some treat foods and enjoy them.
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
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    It doesn't sound like she meant it maliciously. That doesn't mean it was okay (it was an incredibly stupid comment), but don't take it personally. The read I get from it is that she probably doesn't allow herself treats like that because she thinks one has to "work" for them to stay in shape. That's silly, of course - treats are fine for everyone once in a while - but some people really do have that mindset. She was probably just trying to crack a joke about allowing oneself treats. Ignore it, forget about it. You're doing great.
  • Brans34
    Brans34 Posts: 599 Member
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    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    Last Thursday on the train a scruffy slightly smelly man told me that the aliens were taking over the earth and already have control of party plan sales systems. I'd pay as much attention to the lady who spoke to you as I did to him. It's a stranger. Who said something stupid. It's not on you to worry about, it's on them.


    Best advice ever! LOL. I love it.

    I think you should forget it too. you know you work hard for it and deserve it. If it happens again though, just tell him/her you don't have to, you just always look amazing!
  • bluntlysally
    bluntlysally Posts: 150 Member
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    some folks (no matter size) just want to be negative, boss others around, say something not nice, etc. it is something in their own life that makes them unhappy - not anything you are doing!

    good job learning that food is not a reward. tried to explain this concept to some other folks and got shunned! LOL
  • NoelFigart1
    NoelFigart1 Posts: 1,276 Member
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    kits3n wrote: »
    Yesterdays treats were mainly alcohol based, and today was a lobster roll, a sushi burrito, and the crown jewel- a bowl of cake fried ice cream with blackberry sauce. It was amazing. As I was taking it from the truck to my seat this very thin woman commented "I hope you work hard for that!"

    Your body and your choices are yours, not someone else's property to comment on. Moon 'em, kick 'em in the shins, tell 'em to go copulate with themselves. Random strangers are not allowed commentary on your life and she's a trashy wench for thinking she has the right.

  • bluntlysally
    bluntlysally Posts: 150 Member
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    kaseasteele wrote: »
    I'm not nice enough to take comments like that. If a stranger says something like that to me, they'll hear my not very nice side.

    a woman (older) said something not kind to another (younger) on public transport the other day. i couldn't stop myself - i jumped in and asked if she thought she was her mother and why she felt the need to give unwanted advice. she didn't answer even though she was now standing directly between the two of us (in a mostly empty train). HAHAHA the younger woman thanked me after.
  • shai74
    shai74 Posts: 512 Member
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    My ex "I love you in spite of your weight" and after he gained a few pounds "if I keep going like this I'll weigh as much as you by next year".

    My friends mum, said to a room full of people about her daughter "oh yeah, Debbie used to be a beast, she was 107kg".

    Same lady on the weekend commented to a group of people on how "cream pants showed all your bulges and fat bits" ... now, I was the only one wearing "cream pants (riding johds)" ... I don't think I'm being overly sensitive to think she meant me.

    People say *kitten* all the time. Mostly I don't think they mean to be nasty, in fact sadly they are so damned ignorant of what comes out of their mouths and how it might affect the listener based on their own perspectives, challenges and experiences. Don't take it to heart. Just think to yourself "yeah, I might be overweight, but you're ugly, at least I can do something about it" and move on :)
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    Piss on her and what other people think. YOU know what you've accomplished and YOU know the work you've put in. Heck, I would have looked down at it looked at her and said, "You know, you're right, I deserve two".
  • kaseasteele
    kaseasteele Posts: 86 Member
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    bluntlysally wrote: »
    kaseasteele wrote: »
    I'm not nice enough to take comments like that. If a stranger says something like that to me, they'll hear my not very nice side.

    a woman (older) said something not kind to another (younger) on public transport the other day. i couldn't stop myself - i jumped in and asked if she thought she was her mother and why she felt the need to give unwanted advice. she didn't answer even though she was now standing directly between the two of us (in a mostly empty train). HAHAHA the younger woman thanked me after.


    Haha! That's awesome. I'm glad you did that. I've developed some very thick skin since joining the military. If someone bothers me or is rude to me, I'll let them know. I will no longer stand for that crap!
  • karrithehealthy
    karrithehealthy Posts: 16 Member
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    Congratulations on the weight loss! Like you said, you DID work hard. Sometimes people don't understand how simple little comments like that can affect others. 90 pounds is AWESOME. You should be nothing but proud.
  • steff274
    steff274 Posts: 227 Member
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    I posted a picture of a cake on FB put yummy! some arsehole goes careful Steph 1 slice of that cake and your be fat again!! :# Considering I am struggling to keep weight on now with all the gym activity and working with horses I dont think so.. but yer some people are arseholes ignore them!! ;)
  • blackcoffeeandcherrypie
    blackcoffeeandcherrypie Posts: 486 Member
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    Graelwyn75 wrote: »
    She was probably feeling bitter because the way she maintains her very thin frame is by not allowing herself to enjoy any treat foods. I would not concern yourself about it, you had every right to have some treat foods and enjoy them.

    Quoted for truth.

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    steff274 wrote: »
    I posted a picture of a cake on FB put yummy! some arsehole goes careful Steph 1 slice of that cake and your be fat again!! :# Considering I am struggling to keep weight on now with all the gym activity and working with horses I dont think so.. but yer some people are arseholes ignore them!! ;)

    'some arsehole' who is presumably a friend, if he's on your facebook?

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