"I hope you work hard for that!"

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  • MyRummyHens
    MyRummyHens Posts: 141 Member
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    "I hope you work hard for that!" - I would take that to mean that she hopes you have to work hard for eating that because she would if she had allowed herself to eat it. I suspect she thinks some people are 'naturally slim' and can scoff continuously and never put on a lb and she suffers jealously about that idea.

    I'd take it as a twisted compliment that you are looking good and people are wondering how you manage to look so good if they catch you in a moment when you are eating something they struggle to put down. Congratulations on your weight loss!
  • otter090812
    otter090812 Posts: 380 Member
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    However it was meant, she means nothing to you, a complete stranger. What matters is how you feel about yourself. You should be proud of what you've achieved and you should be the one making choices about what you eat. Have some faith in yourself and value your opinion above that of some snide / insensitive woman you don't even know.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Think you are taking it far too seriously and to heart. the women as far as I unerstand didnt know you and theres nothing to suggest she meant it in any vindictive way. She might have said the same to someone with a supermodel figure. Its not worth worrying about or dwelling one.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I see nothing bitter or malicious about that comment at all- you just sound like you're projecting your insecurities on a random comment made in jest about the high calorie nature of the food.

    I wouldn't lose another moment's thought over it. Next time someone says something- say damn right- that marathon I ran... that squat session- that blank blank blank really paid off for me.

    And leave it. It's not that serious.
  • kits3n
    kits3n Posts: 10 Member
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    Thanks everyone, I get that the problem is with me and my thinking more than anything- I'm just having trouble adjusting I guess. I spent a lot of my life getting picked on, having nasty comments made that I'm just kind of hyper sensative and not sure how to change my thinking. Appreciate all the helpful comments- I felt really dumb and embarrassed in the moment it happened but as always with strangers, it's dissipated with a little time and distance. The ice cream was worth the work out- and I hope to have it again in a few years maybe xD
  • Mamahana82
    Mamahana82 Posts: 64
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    "Not at all! It's gonna work hard for MEEEE!"
  • Mamahana82
    Mamahana82 Posts: 64
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    Seriously though. She wanted it. That's the ONLY reason she said something. It had nothing to do with you and your weight and everything to do with she wanted one too but won't let herself have it.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,715 Member
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    kits3n wrote: »
    Thanks everyone, I get that the problem is with me and my thinking more than anything- I'm just having trouble adjusting I guess. I spent a lot of my life getting picked on, having nasty comments made that I'm just kind of hyper sensative and not sure how to change my thinking. Appreciate all the helpful comments- I felt really dumb and embarrassed in the moment it happened but as always with strangers, it's dissipated with a little time and distance. The ice cream was worth the work out- and I hope to have it again in a few years maybe xD

    Not necessarily. I've learned the hard way over the years: a comment would be made, I'd not respond either out of shock or feeling it wasn't appropriate given the situation at the time, whatever, then dwelling on it endlessly, questioning myself, etc. NOW, I tend to be like poster bluntlysally up-thread (LOVE the name, BTW!). I ask them directly what they mean and wait to see if they even respond. Most of the time they are caught off guard by the return question that a lot of stuttering and mumbling happens.

    OP, in your case, I would've said, "I'm sorry. I don't know what you mean." If she responds, then you'll know her intent and can react appropriately. If she doesn't, then you brush it off as NOT YOUR PROBLEM. Crazy people out there...
  • Hockey_Winger
    Hockey_Winger Posts: 1,164 Member
    edited October 2014
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    >>"I hope you work hard for that!"

    Two ways to respond:
    "Why yes I do and I love every minute of it." (or some other confident remark)
    Or
    "Nah, it's pretty easy really. I bet even you could do it."

    It all depends on your mood at the time. :smile:
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
    edited October 2014
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    LaurenAOK wrote: »
    It doesn't sound like she meant it maliciously. That doesn't mean it was okay (it was an incredibly stupid comment), but don't take it personally. The read I get from it is that she probably doesn't allow herself treats like that because she thinks one has to "work" for them to stay in shape. That's silly, of course - treats are fine for everyone once in a while - but some people really do have that mindset. She was probably just trying to crack a joke about allowing oneself treats. Ignore it, forget about it. You're doing great.

    I totally agree with this.

    I have noticed a HUGE increase in rude, nosy, and just plain stupid comments as I've gone from a size 22 to size 10/12. Now that I am considered pretty normal size (especially for my geographic location and height of 5'8") it seems that many other women of ALL sizes feel free to make comments & judgments openly, whereas before they were doing it only in their minds and/or behind my back. Ugh. Don't let it get you down, OP!

    One comment I've had quite a lot is overweight/obese women around age 60 who tell me I won't be able to eat this or that (usually ice cream) when I'm older because it will make me gain weight. "Enjoy it now!" they say to me or even comments like "When I was your age I was about your size". These are total strangers, mind you. I am inclined to take it as a freaky backhanded compliment, but I also wrestle back the urge to tell them "5 years ago I weighed 300 lb, I don't really need your assistance". I have also had women my own age talk to me about losing baby weight and "isn't it harder after kids?" I've never had kids. At 170 lb they seem to assume that I am my all-time heaviest and was probably like them & weighed around 120-130 during my teens and twenties rather than well over 200 lb since I was 15.

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