10 year age difference

codehandle

No. But it depends on a lot of factors Assuming you are interested in a committed relationship, one thing you'll want to think about is how you'll age together.

(If you're just short term dating then my advice is not for you. If you aren't interested in very long-term and life-long relationships ... then don't worry about it and have fun together 10 years is nothing between the ages of 20 and 60. If you are interested in life-long relationships then biology and aging play a big role in the selection of a partner that many people ignore.)

My wife and I are 40 and 42, we've been together most of two decades now, so we've had some experience aging together. That's where these comments come from. We are a mixed-race marriage and our biologies are really radically different. One half of my family do not appear to age much between 30 and 50; I appear to have those genes.

Based on other people's aging in my family, my hair isn't likely to go grey until I'm in my 60s. In other ways, I manage to pass for 5 to 10 years younger than I am. My wife on the other hand, isn't so lucky. She has become self-conscious that I appear much younger than her even though we are about the same age.

On multiple occasions when my wife and I have visited, our eldest (18 and looks 24) at his university I have been mistaken for our eldest's brother. This has happened a few dozen times in the last six months. It happens to imply that the person making the mistake was willing to accept that my spouse was also my mother. This is extremely embarrassing because my spouse and I are only 2 years apart in age.

To combat this, she's taken a very aggressive health and beauty regime. I'm happy to report that it's working. She seems much more energetic and youthful today than she did in the near past. But, ultimately, she is at the mercy of her genes. We can only do so much to slow aging. Different families will have different rates of aging in their gene-pools... sometimes someone defies their family history, but it is the exceptional person who can.

If you are sizing up mister +10 years as a possible life-long partner, or if you are young and dating someone you plan on living with the rest of your life... count the cost. (Count the cost means sit down and really think through everything.) Meet their biological family if you can. Observe how people with the strongest similarity to your potential spouse have aged and changed as they have aged. Compare this to your own family history. Do you imagine these are deal-breakers for you?

It is possible mister +10 years is youthful, has good genes, and will be vital for many decades. My own father ran 5k three times a week, scuba dove, hiked, camped, and was a generally robust outdoorsman until the age of 75. At that age, many of his cohort were in walkers and needed a nurse. He was married at the age of 54 to a woman 30 years his junior (clearly violating the half-your-age-plus-seven rule) and they were physically compatible for the whole time they knew each other. But, his life expectancy at 54 was another 20 or so years, this left her knowing she could be alone in her 40s. For her, he was worth it.

My pointed question to you is: are you willing to deal with possibly being his widow 10 years at the end of your life when he has passed on? To be fair anyone you date could have misfortune fall on them, cancer could strike a fit young man 10 years your junior. It's just that you know for a fact that aging is coming! Other problems are surprises you can't plan for, aging is something you can. So, take this opportunity to think about it. Is this going to change your mind or is your affection strong enough that this just doesn't matter? Are they worth it?

It may or may not be a deal breaker to you. But, it's something few people think about. If you think about it now and really internalize what you're getting into it means you won't have a crisis later in life when these issues come home to roost. Life is also messy, uncertain, and a lot can change. The best thing that can come from you thinking about these things right now is that you'll know what you really care about when the heat of passion is cooled off a bit and the harsh lights of reality shine on the corpus of your relationship.

For me and mine, age is just a number. Fitness and health is what determines how much joy we can draw from the time we do have together. It's best for us to all focus on making the most of what we have, plan and prepare for what we can, and don't worry about the rest. Finding love, friends, and a place and purpose are worth dealing with all the other trivial nonsense that people may throw at us. It's their problem, not ours. We're too busy having a life to care.

Best of luck in life and love.

mikeshockley

Wait...so your first date hasn't happened yet, and it's more or less a 'group date'?

Spoiler alert...you're not "dating" yet.

Sloooowwwww...dooowwwwnnnnnn......

TavistockToad

Frostbitten007 wrote: »

When you first start dating someone, I think it's best to get to know them in a group setting. That way they don't try and take advantage of you. If we were alone, I would think he would be more focused on having sex with me. Trust me I know from past experiences.

you've had some BAD experiences then... just so you know, thats not normal....

Canwehugnow

I dated someone 10 years older than me.
I dated someone 6 years younger than me.

It all depends on emotional stability & if they can rent a car. Lolz.

csman49

I was 35 when i met my other half. She was 21 then. Everyone said it wouldnt last, and sure, we had many rocky problems! We're now 41 and 27.

FabulousFantasticFifty

Some of us are younger than our actual age and should be able to spend our days with whomever makes us feel our very best!!! I think age doesn't matter as long as you have much in common and click! I do however object when one is being taken advantage of!

acpgee

I've been married for 26 years to a guy who is 9 years older. We really only notice it in our incompatible taste in music. Though my mom warns that when we get really old, his health will fail first. I was about your age when we met.

TheRoadDog

If he's under the age of 28, there could be an issue.

DorseyJ618

When I was 21, I dated a guy who was 36. If you're happy that's all that matters.