Boyfriend wants me to gain weight! :(
CurvaciousBeautyToBe
Posts: 100 Member
Hello fellow MPFers,
Lately my boyfriend has started to make comments how I need to "eat a few cheeseburgers". At first it didn't bother me...but I'm hearing it almost everytime he puts his arms around me. I have worked incredibly hard to get to this point in my weight loss journey and I told him that it hurts my feelings but he just laughs it off saying "Seriously, when do you hear about boyfriend's complaining that their girlfriends are too skinny! You only hear about boyfriend's telling their women to lose weight not gain it!". Anyone else in the same boat as me? I'm starting to get a little bit of a complex and I'm afraid it's going to cause me to sabotage myself.
Crystal
Lately my boyfriend has started to make comments how I need to "eat a few cheeseburgers". At first it didn't bother me...but I'm hearing it almost everytime he puts his arms around me. I have worked incredibly hard to get to this point in my weight loss journey and I told him that it hurts my feelings but he just laughs it off saying "Seriously, when do you hear about boyfriend's complaining that their girlfriends are too skinny! You only hear about boyfriend's telling their women to lose weight not gain it!". Anyone else in the same boat as me? I'm starting to get a little bit of a complex and I'm afraid it's going to cause me to sabotage myself.
Crystal
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Replies
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seriously he should be supporting you, not making you feel bad about yourself.
On the flip side, he could just be more attracted to the 'you' that was a little fluffier... I like my guys broad and a little fluffy.
But if that is the case then he really needs to talk to you, because then that will be a 'relationship' discussion.
Just my two cents0 -
He has admitted to me that he likes bigger women, but I'm not willing to become "fluffier" to be his preference. I was very unhappy overweight, and am starting to feel unhappy at a lower more healthy weight.0
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I say screw him0
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I say screw him
And if that doesn't work take some time to consider whether or not the relationship is something you can both work on or not. You shouldn't have to give up your goals to make him happy as long as you're not at an unhealthy weight, but he's entitled to his preferences. Talk to him.0 -
Game over. Restart.0
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Seriously, F him in the mouth. There are so many things wrong with what he is saying. Does he like bigger women because he thinks they are more easily manipulated?
I mean making comments about cheeseburgers leads me to think that he's just as flippant and crass about your weight when you gain it too.. he sounds like a *GREAT* guy0 -
How is mindless sex going to solve anything?I say screw him0 -
Sorry, but your boyfriend needs to support you. He needs to understand you are losing the weight for your health not to please him or get the remarks that he makes. If he truly has feelings for you then he should back you up a hundred percent. If not then you need to have a serious discussion with him about how you feel. This is your body you're health not his. I would think he would be proud of you. It is so hard when you don't have the support that you need. Stand tall and strong please tell him how you feel. I hope it helps him see the light.....0
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I know I get totally focused on weightloss and food and talk of little else ( not meaning to)- perhaps he is wanting the focus o. Something else for a while- or a balance?0
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As other said - very normal, but annoying! Try giving him a taste of his own medicine - say something you would like different about him when he gives you those "compliments" that are anti what you are trying to do for yourself. I would start with something physical like he is saying, and if that doesn't get through then next time say something about how you would like a BF who could find someone who wants to be healthy attractive.0
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The boyfriend should do what he wants to do and the OP should do the same. Nothing wrong with the boyfriend expressing his desire for a plumper GF...nothing wrong with the OP not agreeing. They have to decide if it is a game changer.0
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Hello fellow MPFers,
Lately my boyfriend has started to make comments how I need to "eat a few cheeseburgers". At first it didn't bother me...but I'm hearing it almost everytime he puts his arms around me. I have worked incredibly hard to get to this point in my weight loss journey and I told him that it hurts my feelings but he just laughs it off saying "Seriously, when do you hear about boyfriend's complaining that their girlfriends are too skinny! You only hear about boyfriend's telling their women to lose weight not gain it!". Anyone else in the same boat as me? I'm starting to get a little bit of a complex and I'm afraid it's going to cause me to sabotage myself.
Crystal
I posted something similar to this awhile back, my boyfriend got with me (been 3 years) when I was alot bigger, and his ex was big. I was so worried that he would no longer be attracted to me when I really started to lose the weight. Somewhere along the way I got so thrilled and confident at my own changes that I decided if can't get with it....too bad. I'm not going to gain this back for anyone. Put yourself first. This is something positive you are doing for you and he can either get on board or not. Somebody will.0 -
If the relationship is important to you then you need to be completely honest with him about the issue, and how his comments make you feel. If you feel comfortable doing so, you should try reading your original post aloud to him; just substitute "you" for every "he" and "my boyfriend". If he really cares about you, he' ll understand. If not, then it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship.0
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What's important is what YOU want.0
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Use the Eddie Murphy line: "You don't own me! I don't see no rings on these fingas!"
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
You are more than entitled to lose the weight and be healthy. He is just as entitled to no longer find you as attractive as he did when you were bigger; his preference is his own and he's under no obligation to encourage or support a change that moves you away from what he finds attractive.
You're also under no obligation to put up with his nasty attitude and insults. If he can't like you and the body you want to have, get rid of him and find someone who will.0 -
That obviously wasn't the intended meaning. "Screw him" as in "forget him."
How is mindless sex going to solve anything?I say screw him0 -
Just dump him and move on.0
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Tell him yeah I understand about wanting something bigger and look directly at his crotch and sigh deeply and shake you head in disappointment. If he does have a big wing wang then tell him the same thing but pat him on his head.0
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As Kenny Rogers said: "you gotta no when to fold em', know when to walk away, know when to run!"
I say get outa there lady:)0 -
I think you need to keep it up. And talk to your boyfriend.0
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He might also be afraid that if you lose the weight, you might leave him. Or that other guys will hit on you. Sounds like he has some insecurity issues.0
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My ex hubby hated when I lost weight. Not because he liked bigger women but because he was jealous and was afraid someone else would want me. He figured if I was heavy he didn't have to worry about that. So maybe your guy is afraid of losing you.0
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Your body is not a democracy, its your empire, and you are the empress. He needs to stow it.0
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Tell him yeah I understand about wanting something bigger and look directly at his crotch and sigh deeply and shake you head in disappointment. If he does have a big wing wang then tell him the same thing but pat him on his head.
best post ever LOL0 -
He has admitted to me that he likes bigger women, but I'm not willing to become "fluffier" to be his preference. I was very unhappy overweight, and am starting to feel unhappy at a lower more healthy weight.
im more concerned about how your happiness is dependent on someone else's opinion of you.0 -
You don't have a full body picture so I don't know what he sees... but there are plenty of women on here weighing less than 100 pounds screaming they need to loose weight! Unless you are one of those women he needs to go find himself a thicker women and let you enjoy the new you!0
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What's important is what YOU want.
This!!!0 -
Did you meet your boyfriend before your weight loss? If you did perhaps he is jealous. He's thinking that you are losing weight, becoming more attractive and confident and other guys will take notice.0
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Use the Eddie Murphy line: "You don't own me! I don't see no rings on these fingas!"
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
:laugh:
You could tell him about the increased risks of various diseases for overweight people too.
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