Boyfriend wants me to gain weight! :(

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CurvaciousBeautyToBe
CurvaciousBeautyToBe Posts: 100 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hello fellow MPFers,


Lately my boyfriend has started to make comments how I need to "eat a few cheeseburgers". At first it didn't bother me...but I'm hearing it almost everytime he puts his arms around me. I have worked incredibly hard to get to this point in my weight loss journey and I told him that it hurts my feelings but he just laughs it off saying "Seriously, when do you hear about boyfriend's complaining that their girlfriends are too skinny! You only hear about boyfriend's telling their women to lose weight not gain it!". Anyone else in the same boat as me? I'm starting to get a little bit of a complex and I'm afraid it's going to cause me to sabotage myself. :(


Crystal
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Replies

  • cjcmrn
    cjcmrn Posts: 134 Member
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    seriously he should be supporting you, not making you feel bad about yourself.
    On the flip side, he could just be more attracted to the 'you' that was a little fluffier... I like my guys broad and a little fluffy.
    But if that is the case then he really needs to talk to you, because then that will be a 'relationship' discussion.
    Just my two cents
  • CurvaciousBeautyToBe
    CurvaciousBeautyToBe Posts: 100 Member
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    He has admitted to me that he likes bigger women, but I'm not willing to become "fluffier" to be his preference. I was very unhappy overweight, and am starting to feel unhappy at a lower more healthy weight.
  • summercake
    summercake Posts: 19
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    I say screw him
  • herblackwings39
    herblackwings39 Posts: 3,930 Member
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    I say screw him

    And if that doesn't work take some time to consider whether or not the relationship is something you can both work on or not. You shouldn't have to give up your goals to make him happy as long as you're not at an unhealthy weight, but he's entitled to his preferences. Talk to him.
  • NYactor1
    NYactor1 Posts: 9,642 Member
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    Game over. Restart.
  • Siege_Tank
    Siege_Tank Posts: 781 Member
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    fluffy_zpsc2313d9a.gif

    Seriously, F him in the mouth. There are so many things wrong with what he is saying. Does he like bigger women because he thinks they are more easily manipulated?

    I mean making comments about cheeseburgers leads me to think that he's just as flippant and crass about your weight when you gain it too.. he sounds like a *GREAT* guy
  • jadams1650
    jadams1650 Posts: 139 Member
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    I say screw him
    How is mindless sex going to solve anything?
  • TheNewLorrain
    TheNewLorrain Posts: 138 Member
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    Sorry, but your boyfriend needs to support you. He needs to understand you are losing the weight for your health not to please him or get the remarks that he makes. If he truly has feelings for you then he should back you up a hundred percent. If not then you need to have a serious discussion with him about how you feel. This is your body you're health not his. I would think he would be proud of you. It is so hard when you don't have the support that you need. Stand tall and strong please tell him how you feel. I hope it helps him see the light.....
  • daltem
    daltem Posts: 138 Member
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    I know I get totally focused on weightloss and food and talk of little else ( not meaning to)- perhaps he is wanting the focus o. Something else for a while- or a balance?
  • valligal
    valligal Posts: 18 Member
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    As other said - very normal, but annoying! Try giving him a taste of his own medicine - say something you would like different about him when he gives you those "compliments" that are anti what you are trying to do for yourself. I would start with something physical like he is saying, and if that doesn't get through then next time say something about how you would like a BF who could find someone who wants to be healthy attractive.
  • jadams1650
    jadams1650 Posts: 139 Member
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    The boyfriend should do what he wants to do and the OP should do the same. Nothing wrong with the boyfriend expressing his desire for a plumper GF...nothing wrong with the OP not agreeing. They have to decide if it is a game changer.
  • MeIShouldB
    MeIShouldB Posts: 578 Member
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    Hello fellow MPFers,


    Lately my boyfriend has started to make comments how I need to "eat a few cheeseburgers". At first it didn't bother me...but I'm hearing it almost everytime he puts his arms around me. I have worked incredibly hard to get to this point in my weight loss journey and I told him that it hurts my feelings but he just laughs it off saying "Seriously, when do you hear about boyfriend's complaining that their girlfriends are too skinny! You only hear about boyfriend's telling their women to lose weight not gain it!". Anyone else in the same boat as me? I'm starting to get a little bit of a complex and I'm afraid it's going to cause me to sabotage myself. :(




    Crystal


    I posted something similar to this awhile back, my boyfriend got with me (been 3 years) when I was alot bigger, and his ex was big. I was so worried that he would no longer be attracted to me when I really started to lose the weight. Somewhere along the way I got so thrilled and confident at my own changes that I decided if can't get with it....too bad. I'm not going to gain this back for anyone. Put yourself first. This is something positive you are doing for you and he can either get on board or not. Somebody will.
  • ajstaudt
    ajstaudt Posts: 28 Member
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    If the relationship is important to you then you need to be completely honest with him about the issue, and how his comments make you feel. If you feel comfortable doing so, you should try reading your original post aloud to him; just substitute "you" for every "he" and "my boyfriend". If he really cares about you, he' ll understand. If not, then it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    What's important is what YOU want.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,680 Member
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    Use the Eddie Murphy line: "You don't own me! I don't see no rings on these fingas!"

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    You are more than entitled to lose the weight and be healthy. He is just as entitled to no longer find you as attractive as he did when you were bigger; his preference is his own and he's under no obligation to encourage or support a change that moves you away from what he finds attractive.

    You're also under no obligation to put up with his nasty attitude and insults. If he can't like you and the body you want to have, get rid of him and find someone who will.
  • TheKillerrAnna
    TheKillerrAnna Posts: 5 Member
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    I say screw him
    How is mindless sex going to solve anything?
    That obviously wasn't the intended meaning. "Screw him" as in "forget him."
  • lilpoindexter
    lilpoindexter Posts: 1,122 Member
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    Just dump him and move on.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Tell him yeah I understand about wanting something bigger and look directly at his crotch and sigh deeply and shake you head in disappointment. If he does have a big wing wang then tell him the same thing but pat him on his head.
  • Nissi51
    Nissi51 Posts: 381 Member
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    As Kenny Rogers said: "you gotta no when to fold em', know when to walk away, know when to run!"

    I say get outa there lady:)

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