Seriously depressed

paigealexandra93

Hi guys,

So I'm hoping someone can help with some motivation. I have absolutely none. I've gotten into HORRIBLE eating habits after moving away from home a few years ago. I'm 21, and I've gained about 30 pounds within the last few years. I've never been thin, but I was never as big as I am now.

I really have been trying to lose weight but I have NO will power. I talk myself into eating junk, going out to eat, etc. How did you gets overcome this? Because obviously looking into the mirror isn't enough to keep me away from the junk.

Exercising is a nightmare for me. I can't afford gym memberships or equipment, so I have NO idea what I am doing, and end up not exercising at all because when I don't know what to do. I just wish I had some motivation.

I got a breast reduction 2 months ago, and I'm still quite large. I would LOVE to lose weight in the chest area, but I have no idea how!

I've been very depressed lately because I feel like I will never be happy with my body. Help?!

kaystep33

I struggle with depression and anxiety so motivation is not easy to come by. The mirror also didn't really have an effect on me. I would just get more depressed which made me eat more. Will power is still a struggle for me. Honestly it took me landing in the hospital the day after my 19th b-day to wake me up. I am over 100 lbs overweight and I realized that I could die like so many of my family members because of my weight. My best advice is to set small goals and make simple changes. Starting out slow really helped me and even just going for a walk can make a difference.

runningforthetrain

I totally understand. I have been trying to lose 30 pounds in the last 90 days- logging my food religiously. I do exercise. I have only lost 4 pounds. Tonight I probably put on another pound because of social eating and drinking. I am slowly trying to figure out how to accomplish my goal weight. I guess I'm not an ideal role model! However, with the small successes I have had, what does seem to work is eating what I like- but weighing & counting cals. Eating out really really sets me back. So when I can avoid it I do. Even if its moderately cutting back on meals out (restaurant) - it will make a big difference. Remember weight is only one aspect of who you are. Hang in there.

paigealexandra93

Thanks guys!

Yeah, I actually struggle with borderline personality disorder, major depressive, and general anxiety so those are DEFINITELY set backs. I have such an unhealthy body image and I have no idea how to change it. I get into binging and purging mind sets. I am hoping that this time I actually lose the weight right, but It's so easy to fall back into the depressive and suicidal state.

Medivh73

As someone who has battled both depression & agoraphobia in the past as well as battling severe anxiety everyday, I know the exact position you are in. I was at 400 lbs before I started losing weight. Looking in the mirror everyday, it upset me that much more, which resulted in more binge eating.

First thing I did: I needed to love the person on the inside before worrying about the person on the outside. I wrote down all my positive traits and I wrote down all the goals that I wanted to accomplish that my weight was holding me back from.

Second thing I did: I stopped looking in the mirror. Seeing myself at 400 lbs would only upset me, which would hinder my overall progress. I took down the mirror in my bedroom and would look away while going past the mirror in my bathroom.

Third thing I did: Joined MFP.

Of course there have been times when I would want to binge eat, but when times like that arise, I take out that piece of paper that I had written all my goals on and stop myself right there. Those chips aren't going to help me in the endgame, so why eat them? I just keep telling myself that my goals outweigh everything and if I stay strong, I will be rewarded in the end.

And for exercise? Honestly, you don't even need a gym membership. I don't have one and I've lost 75 lbs already. Something as simple as taking a walk outside could be enough. So long as you're in a calorie deficit at the end of the day, you're golden!

Just focus on loving the person on the inside, while following MFP, and good things will follow.

Feel free to message me if you ever need someone to talk to.

GaleHawkins

paigealexandra93 wrote: »

Hi guys,

So I'm hoping someone can help with some motivation. I have absolutely none. I've gotten into HORRIBLE eating habits after moving away from home a few years ago. I'm 21, and I've gained about 30 pounds within the last few years. I've never been thin, but I was never as big as I am now.

I really have been trying to lose weight but I have NO will power. I talk myself into eating junk, going out to eat, etc. How did you gets overcome this? Because obviously looking into the mirror isn't enough to keep me away from the junk.

Exercising is a nightmare for me. I can't afford gym memberships or equipment, so I have NO idea what I am doing, and end up not exercising at all because when I don't know what to do. I just wish I had some motivation.

I got a breast reduction 2 months ago, and I'm still quite large. I would LOVE to lose weight in the chest area, but I have no idea how!

I've been very depressed lately because I feel like I will never be happy with my body. Help?!

paige are you on a low fat diet?

oedipa_maas

Medivh73 has wonderful advice and I agree with the poster who recommended small, simple changes to start.

I have bipolar and anxiety disorders so I understand how low mental illness can make you. One of the things that has been crucial to my functioning is medication. Not everyone agrees about taking medication, but I just wanted to put out there that you might want to explore that option if you are not on anything. Medication saved my life and helped me be more positive and increased my ability to function.

Being borderline is so so hard. I struggle with distress regulation, which can have a huge impact on whether I can successfully lose weight. I have found Dialectical Behavioral Therapy to be incredibly useful. There are workbooks you can get on Amazon. The focus is on how to handle strong and distressing emotions in positive ways. They have a workbook just for eating disorders (I have the bulimia one, since I had an ED). Learning how to deal with my feelings without turning to food every single time was invaluable. I'm far from perfect, but I'm better.

You should not overwhelm yourself when trying to lose weight. Set small goals so you can feel good when you reach them, which encourages you to keep going. Even something as tiny as "I'm going to walk half a block every day for 5 days/week" is a start. With food (which is where weight loss truly happens, so you don't need a gym membership, and as someone mentioned, you can do things like walk or do pushups or other things at home) I would set small goals like, "Today I will drink my coffee without sugar" or "Today I will eat 2 servings of vegetables."

I think of the weight loss process as dependent on practice and habit. The longer we stick with things--little or large--the more entrenched healthy habits become. Time and again I read on the boards about people who started small and eventually got to a place where they naturally love eating well and exercising. The common thread is they stuck with new habits until the became natural and then became enjoyable and necessary. You can get there too. Start where you can and don't give up. Remember that all journeys have ups and downs. Accept them, don't berate yourself, and keep going. Just by posting here you are taking a positive step.

Much luck to you!

bwogilvie

Weight loss is hard and can seem overwhelming, especially if you're also dealing with depression. Here are a few suggestions, in addition to the excellent advice above (especially from oedipa_maas):

Make exercise a habit. Start walking every day. You don't need a gym to walk; it's low impact, and doesn't require special clothes as long as you have comfortable, sturdy shoes. You can branch out into other activities if you want, but the great thing about walking is that you can do it every day, so it's easier to form a habit. Higher-impact exercise, like running, requires rest days. You could also consider adding some basic strength training; the 100 Pushup program/challenge doesn't require any equipment. (If you can't do a regular pushup, start with a wall, a countertop, or a sturdy chair that won't slip.)

You don't have to give up any foods that you love. It's useful, though, to ask your self how much you need of anything to be satisfied, and be mindful about not eating more. A lot of food stops tasting so good after a few bites, anyway.

The other thing I would recommend is going to your library (or bookstore) and getting Dr. Yoni Freedhoff's recent book The Diet Fix. It's not a diet per se; rather, Freedhoff emphasizes mindfulness, tracking food, making small changes, and not depriving yourself. It has a gimmick, a "10-day reset," but you could easily do the 10 steps over the course of 10 weeks.

conniedj

I advocate exercise as the best thing you can do to treat depression and anxiety. I suffered from depression for many years.....and have found that changing the way I eat combined with exercise was life changing. Not to diminish meds--if you need them, take them!

Here is a really good article I found about deficiencies in the human diet that can contribute to depression:
http://yoganonymous.com/research-7-nutritional-deficiencies-that-cause-depression-mood-disorders/

wrenegade64

The term "excercise" can be easily taken out of context young lady. For some, they think it means that you HAVE TO have a gym membership and show up 4 or 5 days a week and stay there for an hour or more. There are neat things you can do at home for the time being. To start, all you need are "feet" to walk. Its all about movin. Got a broom or a mop? Tie a plastic grocery bag to each end and put equal amounts of something in each one---VIOLA, now you have something to bench press or do curls or tricep extentions! U GOT THIS GIRL!!!

paigealexandra93

GaleHawkins wrote: »

paigealexandra93 wrote: »

Hi guys,

So I'm hoping someone can help with some motivation. I have absolutely none. I've gotten into HORRIBLE eating habits after moving away from home a few years ago. I'm 21, and I've gained about 30 pounds within the last few years. I've never been thin, but I was never as big as I am now.

I really have been trying to lose weight but I have NO will power. I talk myself into eating junk, going out to eat, etc. How did you gets overcome this? Because obviously looking into the mirror isn't enough to keep me away from the junk.

Exercising is a nightmare for me. I can't afford gym memberships or equipment, so I have NO idea what I am doing, and end up not exercising at all because when I don't know what to do. I just wish I had some motivation.

I got a breast reduction 2 months ago, and I'm still quite large. I would LOVE to lose weight in the chest area, but I have no idea how!

I've been very depressed lately because I feel like I will never be happy with my body. Help?!

paige are you on a low fat diet?

Yeah, I'm on a low fat diet. I put protein in every meal, stay low carb, eat whole grains...but I have such bad perseverance that I end up eating junk whenever someone suggests it.

paigealexandra93

bwogilvie wrote: »

Weight loss is hard and can seem overwhelming, especially if you're also dealing with depression. Here are a few suggestions, in addition to the excellent advice above (especially from oedipa_maas):

Make exercise a habit. Start walking every day. You don't need a gym to walk; it's low impact, and doesn't require special clothes as long as you have comfortable, sturdy shoes. You can branch out into other activities if you want, but the great thing about walking is that you can do it every day, so it's easier to form a habit. Higher-impact exercise, like running, requires rest days. You could also consider adding some basic strength training; the 100 Pushup program/challenge doesn't require any equipment. (If you can't do a regular pushup, start with a wall, a countertop, or a sturdy chair that won't slip.)

You don't have to give up any foods that you love. It's useful, though, to ask your self how much you need of anything to be satisfied, and be mindful about not eating more. A lot of food stops tasting so good after a few bites, anyway.

The other thing I would recommend is going to your library (or bookstore) and getting Dr. Yoni Freedhoff's recent book The Diet Fix. It's not a diet per se; rather, Freedhoff emphasizes mindfulness, tracking food, making small changes, and not depriving yourself. It has a gimmick, a "10-day reset," but you could easily do the 10 steps over the course of 10 weeks.

Yeah, I am trying to do the exercise thing. I worry because I find that exercise makes my depression worse. I know many people use exercise to HELP their depression, but when I exercise I get extremely frustrated which leads to my self harming. I frequently self harm out of frustration.

Walking is a great idea, but I get overwhelmed when I think things like "It's almost winter, and I live in a place that snows A LOT and gets very icy, so how can I walk in the winter? And if I don't walk in the winter, I'll lose all the progress I made"

so that is what makes me frustrated.

paigealexandra93

conniedj wrote: »

I advocate exercise as the best thing you can do to treat depression and anxiety. I suffered from depression for many years.....and have found that changing the way I eat combined with exercise was life changing. Not to diminish meds--if you need them, take them!

Here is a really good article I found about deficiencies in the human diet that can contribute to depression:
http://yoganonymous.com/research-7-nutritional-deficiencies-that-cause-depression-mood-disorders/

I completely agree that exercise helps beat depression and anxiety *most of the time*. Personally, (and I can't even count the times I've tried exercising), I get EXTREMELY frusterated when I try to exercise and I end up self harming myself. Exercise puts me in the mood where all I can think of is self harming, which isn't good at all.

bwogilvie

paigealexandra93 wrote: »

Walking is a great idea, but I get overwhelmed when I think things like "It's almost winter, and I live in a place that snows A LOT and gets very icy, so how can I walk in the winter? And if I don't walk in the winter, I'll lose all the progress I made"

so that is what makes me frustrated.

Well, studies have shown that you can preserve most of your cardio fitness gains by exercising just once a week. If there's a mall nearby, go there and walk. There's a reason that mall walking is popular, especially among the elderly for whom a fall could be a serious problem. Or you could make your own screw shoes, which cost next to nothing, and give you good traction on snow and ice.

But reading your more recent post, I think it would help to think about walking not as "exercise," which has bad associations for you, but as "activity." It's not like you have to learn any skills, use equipment correctly, or concentrate on form and technique. It would help if you could address the reasons why you get extremely frustrated when you try to exercise.

I hope you're seeing a doctor for your depression. Good luck!

Edited to add: if your main source of frustration is a sense of what could go wrong in the future, or might prevent you from continuing to exercise, think about this: it's good for your health to be active, right now, regardless of what the future holds.

Miss_1999

paigealexandra93 wrote: »

Thanks guys!

Yeah, I actually struggle with borderline personality disorder, major depressive, and general anxiety so those are DEFINITELY set backs. I have such an unhealthy body image and I have no idea how to change it. I get into binging and purging mind sets. I am hoping that this time I actually lose the weight right, but It's so easy to fall back into the depressive and suicidal state.

*HUGE HUGS my Borderline sister* I know your struggle. I too, live with Borderline Personality Disorder, General Anxiety, and PTSD. It is absolutely exhausting fighting to stay on an even keel. Those who do not live inside of the mind of a Borderline or Biploar can't fathom the struggle.

The first thing I feel is more important that anything, how are things with your BPD? Do you currently have a treatment that is working well for you, and keeping your symptoms manageable? If not, before anything else, please, PLEASE look into this. I don't have to tell you, we are in the high risk category. That doesn't mean that we can't live, long, healthy, functional, productive lives. But, if we don't have a treatment that's working for us, be it coping skills, DBT, meditation, medication, and/or therapy, we can end up feeling lost, hopeless, and resort to addiction, self-harm and worse.

It's taken therapy, and several years, but I'm extremely thankful that we've finally found the right combination of medication to keep my brain calm, and for the most part, my emotions and anxiety on an even keel. I still use my coping skills when I am triggered, but life isn't the horrible day to day struggle for happiness that it once was.

As far as exercise goes, something I think that might be good, would be yoga. I know it really helped me as I was able to relax, yet at the same time burn calories and build muscles. I'm not sure where you are located, but around here, there are yoga classes offered a lot of places that you don't have to have memberships to- often at night at churches or office buildings for a low cost (like between $3 to $5 dollars a class).

The big thing too, just take life day to day. I know often things are overwhelming. Our thoughts alone are too much. They don't shut off, even when you try to distract yourself, or wish you could fully devote your attention to something, there's that little hamster in your head, and he's running overtime on his wheel.

Focus on doing the best you can with eating at the moment your in. If you go out, it's not a loss. Try to make a good decision. If you'd normally get a hamburger, try a grilled chicken sandwich instead. If you'd normally order fries, get a side salad. You don't have to have everything figured out. Take it little by little.

Will be glad to be a friend and of support. You aren't alone. *hugs*

GaleHawkins

paigealexandra93 wrote: »

GaleHawkins wrote: »

paigealexandra93 wrote: »

Hi guys,

So I'm hoping someone can help with some motivation. I have absolutely none. I've gotten into HORRIBLE eating habits after moving away from home a few years ago. I'm 21, and I've gained about 30 pounds within the last few years. I've never been thin, but I was never as big as I am now.

I really have been trying to lose weight but I have NO will power. I talk myself into eating junk, going out to eat, etc. How did you gets overcome this? Because obviously looking into the mirror isn't enough to keep me away from the junk.

Exercising is a nightmare for me. I can't afford gym memberships or equipment, so I have NO idea what I am doing, and end up not exercising at all because when I don't know what to do. I just wish I had some motivation.

I got a breast reduction 2 months ago, and I'm still quite large. I would LOVE to lose weight in the chest area, but I have no idea how!

I've been very depressed lately because I feel like I will never be happy with my body. Help?!

paige are you on a low fat diet?

Yeah, I'm on a low fat diet. I put protein in every meal, stay low carb, eat whole grains...but I have such bad perseverance that I end up eating junk whenever someone suggests it.

Sorry I can not remember the source for you but I was reading some research the last couple days that found a link between low fat diets and depression that you may want to Google. I will take a look.

Well Google came back with several links but I have not read them for validity.

https://www.google.com/search?sourceid=chrome-psyapi2&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8&q=low fat diet and depression

On a side note I am now on high fat, medium protein and next to no carbs (20 perhaps) to stay in nutritional ketosis from a number of reasons. One think that surprised me is how my craving for junk food (carbs for the most part) has about gone to Zero. I do not advice one on what to eat. If you are interest Goggle is where I learned what I know.

yoovie

your body is different than when you were a teenager. You have to work harder now, with or without motivation. Gotta just put your money where your mouth is, there's no easier way.