Help, I'm ruining it all :-(
katierufus
Posts: 18 Member
Hi, I really need some help/advice and motivation. I've been on mfp trying to shift my weight since June 2013. I did really well and managed to lose almost 7 stone but now I slacked off and I've just piled 40 lbs back on mostly in just a few weeks. I have never added friends as I thought I could do this all on my own but I can't. I lose weight, feel great, then I eat, eat, eat :-(. Fed up with myself for letting it all go wrong. Today I started....again before I put even more back on. Is there anyone who is in a similar way? Maybe we could support each other?
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Replies
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Awww lets be friends. My weight has always been up and down. I've lost 26 lbs over the last year but just wNt back up 6 lbs which I want to fix!0
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Hi Katie - nothing is ruined that you can't fix. And it sounds like you are on that positive path forward. I've been there as well. One thing I noticed is that I am a grazer, i.e, I eat little things throughout the day, but in total, too much. So, I am trying somthing new in November. I have set a timer so that I don't snack in between meals. Persistence - if you don't succeed, try again and try another approach!0
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Yes - been there, done that, got the t-shirt....actually if I had a t-shirt for every time...well, I'd have LOTS of them....and no other room in my closet!!!
I lost 115, had surgery to remove the belly, then had surgery to remove the belly and that took another 26 pounds....so I was sitting around 140 pounds lost. Since the surgery I've gained something like 60 pounds back, and I'm just sick about it. I have no one to blame but myself, and letting the floodgates of BS break open...all my excuses. It's raining, it's pouring, it's snowing, it's sunny, next week is a holiday, there's no holiday this week, I stubbed my toe and it hurt...you name it, I found an excuse to eat for it.
All you need is the courage to start again, and it sounds like you have it!!! That is AWESOME!!! I know the last thing you probably wanted to hear is that you're normal. But that's actually good news!! Others know exactly what you're going through!!
Feel free to add me. I just got started again today myself.0 -
Been there, done that again and again. I guess until we figure out the "WHY" we do this it will continue. It's painful and defeating isn't it? Maybe we can work on the whys together.
Laura0 -
Katie, I feel your pain. I am so frustrated with myself in much the same way! A year ago I was in the best shape of my life. Now I am in tears trying to find something in my closet that fits. Add me, please. Maybe we can get each other back on track!0
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You can't gain 40 pounds in a few weeks. Nothing is done here, that can't be undone. You know what you need to do, so get to it.0
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At my highest a couple of years ago I was about 240. I then realized my life consisted of no exercise, eating WAYY too much food and being lazy. I got back down as far as 207 before I hurt my foot really bad and was in a walking boot for several months. then I had a compressed nerve. Anyways, after getting my foot back healthy I was 226. I wasn't amused with myself. So I started using MFP again. The first few days of only 1360 calories I felt light headed or off. But then my mind helped me fight through. In just a few weeks, I'm back down to 215. I'm running 4 days a week, I'm staying under my caloric goal and I have made "eating out of boredom" a thing of the past. Just make it a priority! Set small goals and you'll do it!0
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Set a realistic goal for yourself. Then when you reach that goal, set the next one.
Have fun.0 -
I found that getting rid of all the junk in my house and office is helping me a lot. My family is changing their eating habits with me. We experiment with different healthy options to see what we like. For instance, we've replaced potato chips with veggie chips because we (including my 17 year old daughter) actually prefer the taste. My hubby and I experimented with different teas rather than coffee, so we don't have to add as much sugar and no creamer, and we've found that we really enjoy pomegranate green tea. I replaced cookies with apple cinnamon or blueberry mini rice cakes. I know it's frustrating and you're angry with yourself, but you're human and thus, imperfect. It's not how many times you fall that matters...it's how many times you get up!0
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I'm in the same place as you Katie. I had lost 90 pounds on MFP but it's more like 75 now. I will send you a friend request if you don't mind?0
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You deserve to succeed. Dont be scared to win, okay?0
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We all (well at least most of us) struggle with this. There is no failure short of not trying. Take a deep breath, remember why you started in the first place and start doing the things again that you know work for you. My friend gave me some great advice on this, he said; "Yesterday ended at midnight."0
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Thanks. I must remember why I'm on here and focus on that. Very true yesterday ended at midnight and every day is a new start. Thanks for your help :-)lessismoreohio wrote: »We all (well at least most of us) struggle with this. There is no failure short of not trying. Take a deep breath, remember why you started in the first place and start doing the things again that you know work for you. My friend gave me some great advice on this, he said; "Yesterday ended at midnight."
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Thanks for the friend request I need friends that are in the same place as new and understand. :-)Suestern24 wrote: »I'm in the same place as you Katie. I had lost 90 pounds on MFP but it's more like 75 now. I will send you a friend request if you don't mind?
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Thanks for the motivation. I think I do need to try different food ideas as I end up eating the same things all the time. :-)DiamondDiva914 wrote: »I found that getting rid of all the junk in my house and office is helping me a lot. My family is changing their eating habits with me. We experiment with different healthy options to see what we like. For instance, we've replaced potato chips with veggie chips because we (including my 17 year old daughter) actually prefer the taste. My hubby and I experimented with different teas rather than coffee, so we don't have to add as much sugar and no creamer, and we've found that we really enjoy pomegranate green tea. I replaced cookies with apple cinnamon or blueberry mini rice cakes. I know it's frustrating and you're angry with yourself, but you're human and thus, imperfect. It's not how many times you fall that matters...it's how many times you get up!
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Thanks :-)headofphat wrote: »Set a realistic goal for yourself. Then when you reach that goal, set the next one.
Have fun.
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Well done you! And thanks for the motivation :-)At my highest a couple of years ago I was about 240. I then realized my life consisted of no exercise, eating WAYY too much food and being lazy. I got back down as far as 207 before I hurt my foot really bad and was in a walking boot for several months. then I had a compressed nerve. Anyways, after getting my foot back healthy I was 226. I wasn't amused with myself. So I started using MFP again. The first few days of only 1360 calories I felt light headed or off. But then my mind helped me fight through. In just a few weeks, I'm back down to 215. I'm running 4 days a week, I'm staying under my caloric goal and I have made "eating out of boredom" a thing of the past. Just make it a priority! Set small goals and you'll do it!
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Thanks :-)Liftng4Lis wrote: »You can't gain 40 pounds in a few weeks. Nothing is done here, that can't be undone. You know what you need to do, so get to it.
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This sounds just like me at the moment! Let's get back to it and help each other :-)Katie, I feel your pain. I am so frustrated with myself in much the same way! A year ago I was in the best shape of my life. Now I am in tears trying to find something in my closet that fits. Add me, please. Maybe we can get each other back on track!
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Yes it's so hard isn't it. I think I just love the wrong foods way to much! :-). Moderation is probably a key factor to success. :-).Been there, done that again and again. I guess until we figure out the "WHY" we do this it will continue. It's painful and defeating isn't it? Maybe we can work on the whys together.
Laura
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Pinkgoldturquoise wrote: »Awww lets be friends. My weight has always been up and down. I've lost 26 lbs over the last year but just wNt back up 6 lbs which I want to fix!
let's think positive we can do this! Thanks for your reply. 0 -
Thanks. I'm a grazer too. Good luck with the timer. It sounds a good plan. :-).Jump4Fun_Sea wrote: »Hi Katie - nothing is ruined that you can't fix. And it sounds like you are on that positive path forward. I've been there as well. One thing I noticed is that I am a grazer, i.e, I eat little things throughout the day, but in total, too much. So, I am trying somthing new in November. I have set a timer so that I don't snack in between meals. Persistence - if you don't succeed, try again and try another approach!
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katierufus wrote: »Hi, I really need some help/advice and motivation. I've been on mfp trying to shift my weight since June 2013. I did really well and managed to lose almost 7 stone but now I slacked off and I've just piled 40 lbs back on mostly in just a few weeks. I have never added friends as I thought I could do this all on my own but I can't. I lose weight, feel great, then I eat, eat, eat :-(. Fed up with myself for letting it all go wrong. Today I started....again before I put even more back on. Is there anyone who is in a similar way? Maybe we could support each other?
Why did you do that, do you suppose?
I think all too often we think of our health, fitness, and weight goals in black and white terms, and they're really not. I don't think of it as a goal, I think of it as a process and a spectrum. Are you working the process or not? Does this particular choice, food, activity, etc. serve the process or not?
I don't devote every minute of my day to serving that process, but I try to set aside some portion of every day for activity for the sake of activity, even if it's just to walk my dog. I don't measure every meal in terms of how it will fuel my body, but I try to keep it in mind, and I probably eat about 80% whole and healthy foods. Some days I'm more successful than others.
There is no "fail" or "backslide" or "reverse" or whatever. Your choices lately have been less healthy than they could have been. No need to beat yourself up. Just go from here. Make some healthier choices. Work the process.
It would be great to put some thought into why you felt you needed to make those less healthy choices for so long...maybe you're comfortable using your weight as an excuse? That happens a lot without us realizing it. Maybe you have some self-esteem issues going on, and don't feel you're worth the effort right now? That's a common feeling.
Knowing "why" is helpful, but regardless of whether you figure it out, just start from here. Make some healthy choices. They don't all have to be 100% optimal or ideal. Just get back into the process, and improve a little each day or week.l
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Yes - been there, done that, got the t-shirt....actually if I had a t-shirt for every time...well, I'd have LOTS of them....and no other room in my closet!!!
I lost 115, had surgery to remove the belly, then had surgery to remove the belly and that took another 26 pounds....so I was sitting around 140 pounds lost. Since the surgery I've gained something like 60 pounds back, and I'm just sick about it. I have no one to blame but myself, and letting the floodgates of BS break open...all my excuses. It's raining, it's pouring, it's snowing, it's sunny, next week is a holiday, there's no holiday this week, I stubbed my toe and it hurt...you name it, I found an excuse to eat for it.
All you need is the courage to start again, and it sounds like you have it!!! That is AWESOME!!! I know the last thing you probably wanted to hear is that you're normal. But that's actually good news!! Others know exactly what you're going through!!
Feel free to add me. I just got started again today myself. [/quote
Well done on starting again. Also well done on what you've achieved so far, you've come a long way already. :-) let's get to our goals one step at a time and it will happen. :-)0 -
SnuggleSmacks wrote: »katierufus wrote: »Hi, I really need some help/advice and motivation. I've been on mfp trying to shift my weight since June 2013. I did really well and managed to lose almost 7 stone but now I slacked off and I've just piled 40 lbs back on mostly in just a few weeks. I have never added friends as I thought I could do this all on my own but I can't. I lose weight, feel great, then I eat, eat, eat :-(. Fed up with myself for letting it all go wrong. Today I started....again before I put even more back on. Is there anyone who is in a similar way? Maybe we could support each other?
Why did you do that, do you suppose?
I think all too often we think of our health, fitness, and weight goals in black and white terms, and they're really not. I don't think of it as a goal, I think of it as a process and a spectrum. Are you working the process or not? Does this particular choice, food, activity, etc. serve the process or not?
I don't devote every minute of my day to serving that process, but I try to set aside some portion of every day for activity for the sake of activity, even if it's just to walk my dog. I don't measure every meal in terms of how it will fuel my body, but I try to keep it in mind, and I probably eat about 80% whole and healthy foods. Some days I'm more successful than others.
There is no "fail" or "backslide" or "reverse" or whatever. Your choices lately have been less healthy than they could have been. No need to beat yourself up. Just go from here. Make some healthier choices. Work the process.
It would be great to put some thought into why you felt you needed to make those less healthy choices for so long...maybe you're comfortable using your weight as an excuse? That happens a lot without us realizing it. Maybe you have some self-esteem issues going on, and don't feel you're worth the effort right now? That's a common feeling.
Knowing "why" is helpful, but regardless of whether you figure it out, just start from here. Make some healthy choices. They don't all have to be 100% optimal or ideal. Just get back into the process, and improve a little each day or week.l
Thanks. I guess I really do have to look into why I binge out for periods of time on less healthy food. I'm not sure myself right now. Once I figure that out maybe I'll stop doing it. Thanks for your reply it was very helpful. :-)0 -
Not trying to tell you to do one thing or the other, but I've been there. My weight has gone up and down over a period of 20 years. I've posted this before but if it helps, great.
I've been trying to cut calories, eat low fat, control my portions of food (including carbs). I'd be fine all day, and then bam. Food completely controlled my life. I would eat 2 McDonalds burgers on the way home from work and then cook dinner and eat with the family. I've sat and ate half a caramel mud cake on my own. I have bought 2 pies and a cake from the bakery and ate them. It's frightening the amount of food I've eaten in one sitting.
Part of it is related to childhood food lessons (my father would yell and make me sit at the table until my dinner was all gone and then reward me with a bowl of icecream for dessert), but part of it is also related to carb addiction.
I personally have never been able to do "just a little bit of this or that within my calories". Restricting those "trigger" foods just causes me to fall apart and instead of having a couple of squares of chocolate I'll eat the whole block, and then a bag of chips and a bowl of icecream. And still gaze into the fridge. It's horrible to have that helpless feeling. To be an intelligent person, with a sound knowledge of the calorie content of pretty much every food known to man, and yet to be unable to control what you eat. If you haven't been there you don't understand it. If you've had any kind of addiction you probably do.
The only thing that's stopped it, in 20 years of "I'll start over tomorrow", was cutting out all of the things that caused the problem. As of earlier this year I'm sugar free, I also don't eat grains, pasta, rice, potatoes etc. I eat mainly protein, and foods high in saturated fat. (5% Carbs, 25% Protein, 70%Fat) I've lost 60lbs. I haven't fallen off the wagon, or had a binge, in 6 months. I also haven't been hungry. I feel like it's saved my life, I really do. I eat about 1700 cals a day, and this week alone I've lost 7.7lbs. I don't kill myself at the gym, I go horseriding once a week.
I could have spent the NEXT 20 years trying to control portions and restrict calories and ended up gaining another 30kg. Or not, I would have been dead most likely.
As always, I don't deny that some people CAN have "just two squares of chocolate" or save their calories and eat McDonalds for dinner and lose weight. But there are those of us who can't.
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Thanks. It is interesting to find out what works for people. I really need to look into how and why I eat what I do thanks for your advice. Great to hear a success story. :-)Not trying to tell you to do one thing or the other, but I've been there. My weight has gone up and down over a period of 20 years. I've posted this before but if it helps, great.
I've been trying to cut calories, eat low fat, control my portions of food (including carbs). I'd be fine all day, and then bam. Food completely controlled my life. I would eat 2 McDonalds burgers on the way home from work and then cook dinner and eat with the family. I've sat and ate half a caramel mud cake on my own. I have bought 2 pies and a cake from the bakery and ate them. It's frightening the amount of food I've eaten in one sitting.
Part of it is related to childhood food lessons (my father would yell and make me sit at the table until my dinner was all gone and then reward me with a bowl of icecream for dessert), but part of it is also related to carb addiction.
I personally have never been able to do "just a little bit of this or that within my calories". Restricting those "trigger" foods just causes me to fall apart and instead of having a couple of squares of chocolate I'll eat the whole block, and then a bag of chips and a bowl of icecream. And still gaze into the fridge. It's horrible to have that helpless feeling. To be an intelligent person, with a sound knowledge of the calorie content of pretty much every food known to man, and yet to be unable to control what you eat. If you haven't been there you don't understand it. If you've had any kind of addiction you probably do.
The only thing that's stopped it, in 20 years of "I'll start over tomorrow", was cutting out all of the things that caused the problem. As of earlier this year I'm sugar free, I also don't eat grains, pasta, rice, potatoes etc. I eat mainly protein, and foods high in saturated fat. (5% Carbs, 25% Protein, 70%Fat) I've lost 60lbs. I haven't fallen off the wagon, or had a binge, in 6 months. I also haven't been hungry. I feel like it's saved my life, I really do. I eat about 1700 cals a day, and this week alone I've lost 7.7lbs. I don't kill myself at the gym, I go horseriding once a week.
I could have spent the NEXT 20 years trying to control portions and restrict calories and ended up gaining another 30kg. Or not, I would have been dead most likely.
As always, I don't deny that some people CAN have "just two squares of chocolate" or save their calories and eat McDonalds for dinner and lose weight. But there are those of us who can't.
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I've been yoyo-ing all my life too... trying to get back on track now! I am sure I can and so do you!!! 0
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katierufus wrote: »
I'm serious. If you dont believe you are worth the effort and deserve the results, you'll stand in your own way and I hate to see that happen to people with all the potential to be so amazing.0
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