Don't feel like staying in my calorie goal every day--do I need tough love?

skinnyforhi

Hi guys,

I think I know the answer to this, but here goes. I gained 10 lbs over the past 6 months, mostly over the past 2 months when I ate whatever I wanted and didn't exercise. At. All. I'm now trying to lose those 10lbs by exercising a minimum of 4 days a week (at fairly intense levels, like spin and hot yoga) and eating healthy. I don't feel like staying within my calorie goal (whine) and I really don't care if 10lbs comes off in 2 months or 6 months (hey, it's gonna be winter anyway). Anyone have experience losing weight painfully slow? On purpose? I just don't feel like being quite as rigid as I have been in the past, especially with the holidays coming up. I don't plan to binge, but if I want a treat, in my view a few bites won't kill me as long as I don't let it spiral or do that every day. If I'm over 100-200 calories 2-3 days a week, so be it. Is this crazy and/or is this anyone else's philosophy?

trinatrina1984

Firstly what is your cal goal? is it too restrictive? what are your stats? age weight height etc?

I'm losing pretty slowly but that's because I want to be doing this long term and I figure if it takes a year or 2 years to get to where I want to be within that time my mind set will have changed and I will have learnt a lot. so hopefully maintaining will be easier

healthysmart

No one can make you lose weight. Only you can control the food entering your mouth. The reality is weight loss comes down to math. Eat less than you burn and you'll lose weight. You can manipulate that to lose weight faster or slower, but it's all up to you.

skinnyforhi

5'6", 136lbs, 33 years old. I'd like to be somewhere between 124-128. I am set at a calorie goal of 1380 a day, and on days that I spin for 45 minutes or do hot yoga for 60 minutes, I give myself an extra 300 calories (I don't put down 600-700 calories for a spin class or hot yoga class, even though I've read they can burn that much--that just sounds like an overestimate to me). I also take public transportation and walk nearly everwhere, but I don't count that in my exercise.

trinatrina1984 wrote: »

Firstly what is your cal goal? is it too restrictive? what are your stats? age weight height etc?

I'm losing pretty slowly but that's because I want to be doing this long term and I figure if it takes a year or 2 years to get to where I want to be within that time my mind set will have changed and I will have learnt a lot. so hopefully maintaining will be easier

trinatrina1984

skinnyforhi wrote: »

5'6", 136lbs, 33 years old. I'd like to be somewhere between 124-128. I am set at a calorie goal of 1380 a day, and on days that I spin for 45 minutes or do hot yoga for 60 minutes, I give myself an extra 300 calories (I don't put down 600-700 calories for a spin class or hot yoga class, even though I've read they can burn that much--that just sounds like an overestimate to me). I also take public transportation and walk nearly everwhere, but I don't count that in my exercise.

trinatrina1984 wrote: »

Firstly what is your cal goal? is it too restrictive? what are your stats? age weight height etc?

I'm losing pretty slowly but that's because I want to be doing this long term and I figure if it takes a year or 2 years to get to where I want to be within that time my mind set will have changed and I will have learnt a lot. so hopefully maintaining will be easier

What I would do is find your TDEE which is the approx number of calorie your body need to maintain try this http://iifym.com/tdee-calculator/ - then eat under this number but if you chose to eat fairly close to it eg your TDEE is 1900 and you eat 1800 you have to be extremely careful about logging everything. I have my goal set to 1600 as I know my logging can be a bit off so it gives me a little wiggle room.

You may also want to have a look at what your eating and try and get more veg in to bulk out dinners if you find you are getting hungry.

skinnyforhi

That is actually extremely helpful-thank you for that! And thank you for not being judgey.

[/quote]


What I would do is find your TDEE which is the approx number of calorie your body need to maintain try this http://iifym.com/tdee-calculator/ - then eat under this number but if you chose to eat fairly close to it eg your TDEE is 1900 and you eat 1800 you have to be extremely careful about logging everything. I have my goal set to 1600 as I know my logging can be a bit off so it gives me a little wiggle room.

You may also want to have a look at what your eating and try and get more veg in to bulk out dinners if you find you are getting hungry. [/quote]

Spiderwoman333

I'm the same way! I have binge days, eat junk food go over my by 100-200 calories some days. If I'm starving I eat even if I have eaten all my calories! As long as you are in deficit you'll loose weight even with a smaller deficit. Personally I find doing it slower is easier. It doesn't feel like I'm "dieting" just slowly making changes that become habit.

serindipte

I've been at this since late Jan. I usually have one or two days a week that I eat at or just under my TDEE. As long as my weekly calorie intake is in a deficit, I will lose weight. I'm in no rush, but it's coming off. I'm down 49 lbs so far.

ninerbuff

If you want to lose the weight, you'll do what you need to to do it. That's how motivation works. Tough love is needed when someone is finding excuses NOT to do it. But overall, it has to be something you WANT to do in the first place. If it's not a priority, then results shouldn't be expected.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Fruitylicious03

You need do decide what's more important to you. Losing the weight or eating more and gaining.

You need to make a decision. And then be disciplined enough to follow through on the decision.

skinnyforhi

Congrats on your progress! That's wonderful.

serindipte wrote: »

I've been at this since late Jan. I usually have one or two days a week that I eat at or just under my TDEE. As long as my weekly calorie intake is in a deficit, I will lose weight. I'm in no rush, but it's coming off. I'm down 49 lbs so far.

skinnyforhi

Yes, the slow way means it doesn't feel like a diet after the first few weeks. I do eat smaller portions, I have cut some stuff out, and I am religious about my exercise routine (may go over on calories, but won't skip a workout). But slow doesn't bother me! Good to hear others are making progress this way.

Spiderwoman333 wrote: »

I'm the same way! I have binge days, eat junk food go over my by 100-200 calories some days. If I'm starving I eat even if I have eaten all my calories! As long as you are in deficit you'll loose weight even with a smaller deficit. Personally I find doing it slower is easier. It doesn't feel like I'm "dieting" just slowly making changes that become habit.

JustSomeEm

I lost my weight with that sort of attitude, and I'm fine. I logged religiously, but didn't particularly care if I was under my calorie goal or not. I DID find that as long as I was logging, I was usually making better choices though... therefore the weight came off. It took me more than 2 years (with a lengthy MFP break) to lose the weight (more than 70 pounds). If I want a chocolate bar, I have one. If I want ice cream or chips I have those. THAT is the only reason I actually managed to stick with a program - because it didn't feel like one (and still doesn't). I've been in maintenance for only a few months, but plan on continuing to log so that I can still successfully hold myself accountable for my dietary choices.

Dawmelvan

I also did what you described and it took me 2 1/2 years to lose 40 pounds. Recently I decided, "I'm done," and am staying within my calorie goal daily and exercising daily. I think the important thing is to enjoy life in a healthy way. I'm happy that it took me that long. I"m also happy that I stepped it up.

alexandra0o7

I don't think going over by small amounts is bad at all. If anything, I think it's better for your body. If you're really hungry one day, and it's not out of boredom, your body is telling you it needs something more. I think the amount of calories you're eating might actually be causing the slower progress. When I was first losing weight, it was coming off quickly, when I was eating about 1,500 a day, and eating back whatever I worked off with exercise. However, when I lost more and more weight, it slowed down a lot, and then stopped. I upped my calories to 1,800, and I actually started losing more weight. If you're doing things like spin, your body is torching calories, so it also needs calories to function. If you're eating 1,700 on a day where you burn 600, then you could probably eat a bit more.

Also, depending on what you put your activity level, greatly offers calorie counts too. I work out about as much as you, but I always pick sedentary, and then add my workouts. This way, it's not telling me to eat an insane amount of calories. Also, of course, focus on what you're eating too. 1,300 of processed foods isn't as good as mostly fresh food.

Good luck!

999tigger

Am sure they have said it, but it sounds fine that you arent too rigid. Learn to use the site properly and create an appropriate deficit. For you that may be .25lb a week. Your counting needs to be accurate as the 125 calories a day amounts to the difference of half a chocolate bar. There is a lot of scope to over or understimate on such small margins.

What you could do is eat at maintenance or a slight deficit and rely on exercise to burn extra calories, which you cna use towards creating your deficit or to eat back.

You could also use your calories as a weekly pool as long as they add up to the required deficit by the end of the week. That will allow you to go over some days as long as its balanced by beinh under at other times.

Sometimes if I dont have the calories its acceptable to me to o to the gym and go and burn the required number so I can indulge/eat what I want. You can burn anything from 300-900 calories per hour depending on effort. Its importnat for the reading to be an accurate reflection if you are basing decisions on it. Personally id rather just get in with it and crack on whilst I have the focus.

skinnyforhi

alexandra0o7 wrote: »

I don't think going over by small amounts is bad at all. If anything, I think it's better for your body. If you're really hungry one day, and it's not out of boredom, your body is telling you it needs something more. I think the amount of calories you're eating might actually be causing the slower progress. When I was first losing weight, it was coming off quickly, when I was eating about 1,500 a day, and eating back whatever I worked off with exercise. However, when I lost more and more weight, it slowed down a lot, and then stopped. I upped my calories to 1,800, and I actually started losing more weight. If you're doing things like spin, your body is torching calories, so it also needs calories to function. If you're eating 1,700 on a day where you burn 600, then you could probably eat a bit more.

Also, depending on what you put your activity level, greatly offers calorie counts too. I work out about as much as you, but I always pick sedentary, and then add my workouts. This way, it's not telling me to eat an insane amount of calories. Also, of course, focus on what you're eating too. 1,300 of processed foods isn't as good as mostly fresh food.

Good luck!

That's interesting about the calorie theory! I wonder if I am underestimating what I burn at spin. Perhaps I'll give it another 2 weeks and if the scale doesn't start moving, I'll regularly increase by about 100 calories. I too list myself as sedentary because I have a desk job, but I do walk everywhere and I don't tend to sit around outside of work. And I give it my all at my workouts--I don't phone it in.

lorib642

If your average intake is a deficit you will lose weight. I don't think you need tough love, you just need to have a plan. Since you don't have much to lose and are not in a rush you can set your targets for that. Good luck!

trinatrina1984

skinnyforhi wrote: »

That is actually extremely helpful-thank you for that! And thank you for not being judgey.

What I would do is find your TDEE which is the approx number of calorie your body need to maintain try this http://iifym.com/tdee-calculator/ - then eat under this number but if you chose to eat fairly close to it eg your TDEE is 1900 and you eat 1800 you have to be extremely careful about logging everything. I have my goal set to 1600 as I know my logging can be a bit off so it gives me a little wiggle room.

You may also want to have a look at what your eating and try and get more veg in to bulk out dinners if you find you are getting hungry. [/quote]

[/quote]

Haha no worries

LiminalAscendance

skinnyforhi wrote: »

Hi guys,

I think I know the answer to this, but here goes. I gained 10 lbs over the past 6 months, mostly over the past 2 months when I ate whatever I wanted and didn't exercise. At. All. I'm now trying to lose those 10lbs by exercising a minimum of 4 days a week (at fairly intense levels, like spin and hot yoga) and eating healthy. I don't feel like staying within my calorie goal (whine) and I really don't care if 10lbs comes off in 2 months or 6 months (hey, it's gonna be winter anyway). Anyone have experience losing weight painfully slow? On purpose? I just don't feel like being quite as rigid as I have been in the past, especially with the holidays coming up. I don't plan to binge, but if I want a treat, in my view a few bites won't kill me as long as I don't let it spiral or do that every day. If I'm over 100-200 calories 2-3 days a week, so be it. Is this crazy and/or is this anyone else's philosophy?

Trust me, you're not alone.

There are plenty of fat people who enjoy food more than they value aesthetics or comfort.

KylaDenay

To me it doesn't seem like you are ready to lose the 10 lbs. If you really wanted it you would stick to your goal daily. Not doing so means you really don't care. You have to really want it. Suck it up and do what you have to do. Eat at .5 lb a week deficit. That surely cannot be that difficult. Even if you want more calories, get up and workout for them.

Its all in your head and what you really want.

Francl27

LiminalAscendance wrote: »

skinnyforhi wrote: »

Hi guys,

I think I know the answer to this, but here goes. I gained 10 lbs over the past 6 months, mostly over the past 2 months when I ate whatever I wanted and didn't exercise. At. All. I'm now trying to lose those 10lbs by exercising a minimum of 4 days a week (at fairly intense levels, like spin and hot yoga) and eating healthy. I don't feel like staying within my calorie goal (whine) and I really don't care if 10lbs comes off in 2 months or 6 months (hey, it's gonna be winter anyway). Anyone have experience losing weight painfully slow? On purpose? I just don't feel like being quite as rigid as I have been in the past, especially with the holidays coming up. I don't plan to binge, but if I want a treat, in my view a few bites won't kill me as long as I don't let it spiral or do that every day. If I'm over 100-200 calories 2-3 days a week, so be it. Is this crazy and/or is this anyone else's philosophy?

Trust me, you're not alone.

There are plenty of fat people who enjoy food more than they value aesthetics or comfort.

OP is hardly fat with 10 pounds to lose, probably way within the normal BMI range.

I want to lose 3-5 pounds and I set my goal to maintenance a few months back. My goal is to try and keep a deficit when possible. If I can't, I don't sweat it. I've only lost 1 pound since doing that but it's not a huge deal at this point, it's just vanity pounds anyway.

WinoGelato

If you only have 10 lbs to lose you should have your deficit set up to lose 0.5 lbs/week and 1380 sounds more like a 500 cal (1lb/wk) deficit. If you have a realistic goal you may not feel so restricted and won't need to go over. I also concur with the suggestions of finding your TDEE and working from there as well as the idea of looking at the weekly totals not individual days.

I lost about 25 lbs on MFP in just about a year. It was slow but completely sustainable and now maintenance is pretty simple since I wasn't too restrictive while losing.

skinnyforhi

Francl27 wrote: »

LiminalAscendance wrote: »

skinnyforhi wrote: »

Hi guys,

I think I know the answer to this, but here goes. I gained 10 lbs over the past 6 months, mostly over the past 2 months when I ate whatever I wanted and didn't exercise. At. All. I'm now trying to lose those 10lbs by exercising a minimum of 4 days a week (at fairly intense levels, like spin and hot yoga) and eating healthy. I don't feel like staying within my calorie goal (whine) and I really don't care if 10lbs comes off in 2 months or 6 months (hey, it's gonna be winter anyway). Anyone have experience losing weight painfully slow? On purpose? I just don't feel like being quite as rigid as I have been in the past, especially with the holidays coming up. I don't plan to binge, but if I want a treat, in my view a few bites won't kill me as long as I don't let it spiral or do that every day. If I'm over 100-200 calories 2-3 days a week, so be it. Is this crazy and/or is this anyone else's philosophy?

Trust me, you're not alone.

There are plenty of fat people who enjoy food more than they value aesthetics or comfort.

OP is hardly fat with 10 pounds to lose, probably way within the normal BMI range.

I want to lose 3-5 pounds and I set my goal to maintenance a few months back. My goal is to try and keep a deficit when possible. If I can't, I don't sweat it. I've only lost 1 pound since doing that but it's not a huge deal at this point, it's just vanity pounds anyway.

Yes, I think the last 5 of the 10 I want to lose are vanity pounds too! And thanks for saying I am not fat haha

skinnyforhi

Kruggeri wrote: »

If you only have 10 lbs to lose you should have your deficit set up to lose 0.5 lbs/week and 1380 sounds more like a 500 cal (1lb/wk) deficit. If you have a realistic goal you may not feel so restricted and won't need to go over. I also concur with the suggestions of finding your TDEE and working from there as well as the idea of looking at the weekly totals not individual days.

I lost about 25 lbs on MFP in just about a year. It was slow but completely sustainable and now maintenance is pretty simple since I wasn't too restrictive while losing.

Congrats! Slow and steady wins the race.

yankeedownsouth

LiminalAscendance wrote: »

skinnyforhi wrote: »

Hi guys,

There are plenty of fat people who enjoy food more than they value aesthetics or comfort.

OP is 5'6", 136lbs, 33 years old. Hardly fat. Probably actually a bit slender. She is only a couple pounds more than me at the same height.

Francl27

skinnyforhi wrote: »

Francl27 wrote: »

LiminalAscendance wrote: »

skinnyforhi wrote: »

Hi guys,

I think I know the answer to this, but here goes. I gained 10 lbs over the past 6 months, mostly over the past 2 months when I ate whatever I wanted and didn't exercise. At. All. I'm now trying to lose those 10lbs by exercising a minimum of 4 days a week (at fairly intense levels, like spin and hot yoga) and eating healthy. I don't feel like staying within my calorie goal (whine) and I really don't care if 10lbs comes off in 2 months or 6 months (hey, it's gonna be winter anyway). Anyone have experience losing weight painfully slow? On purpose? I just don't feel like being quite as rigid as I have been in the past, especially with the holidays coming up. I don't plan to binge, but if I want a treat, in my view a few bites won't kill me as long as I don't let it spiral or do that every day. If I'm over 100-200 calories 2-3 days a week, so be it. Is this crazy and/or is this anyone else's philosophy?

Trust me, you're not alone.

There are plenty of fat people who enjoy food more than they value aesthetics or comfort.

OP is hardly fat with 10 pounds to lose, probably way within the normal BMI range.

I want to lose 3-5 pounds and I set my goal to maintenance a few months back. My goal is to try and keep a deficit when possible. If I can't, I don't sweat it. I've only lost 1 pound since doing that but it's not a huge deal at this point, it's just vanity pounds anyway.

Yes, I think the last 5 of the 10 I want to lose are vanity pounds too! And thanks for saying I am not fat haha

Lol I'm 5'5" and 132, want to go down to 130, we're not that far off.

KylaDenay

yankeedownsouth wrote: »

LiminalAscendance wrote: »

skinnyforhi wrote: »

Hi guys,

There are plenty of fat people who enjoy food more than they value aesthetics or comfort.

OP is 5'6", 136lbs, 33 years old. Hardly fat. Probably actually a bit slender. She is only a couple pounds more than me at the same height.

Oh well if that is the case (didn't see this), then OP I wouldn't rush it either if I were you. You probably look great. As long as you are under maintenance it will come off. Even if its a slight deficit.

segacs

Since you're down to only 10 pounds to lose, why not switch to maintenance calories for your goal weight right away?

Over time, those 10 pounds'll come off. It may take a while. But in the meantime, you'll be training your body to eat the calories that you'll require at maintenance, forever.

It's a different mindset: Instead of "oh, I'll deprive myself for a short period of time, lose the weight, and then go back to eating whatever I want (and gain it back)" it's "okay, this is what my body needs to eat at the size I want to be".

free1220

I have lost a total of 50 lbs but it took 5 years to do it.Just light dieting and watching my intake.I would reach a point and stall for a spell but 10 or 15 lbs at a time has worked for me.Right now I am stalled again but maintaining.