Don't feel like staying in my calorie goal every day--do I need tough love?

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skinnyforhi
skinnyforhi Posts: 340 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hi guys,

I think I know the answer to this, but here goes. I gained 10 lbs over the past 6 months, mostly over the past 2 months when I ate whatever I wanted and didn't exercise. At. All. I'm now trying to lose those 10lbs by exercising a minimum of 4 days a week (at fairly intense levels, like spin and hot yoga) and eating healthy. I don't feel like staying within my calorie goal (whine) and I really don't care if 10lbs comes off in 2 months or 6 months (hey, it's gonna be winter anyway). Anyone have experience losing weight painfully slow? On purpose? I just don't feel like being quite as rigid as I have been in the past, especially with the holidays coming up. I don't plan to binge, but if I want a treat, in my view a few bites won't kill me as long as I don't let it spiral or do that every day. If I'm over 100-200 calories 2-3 days a week, so be it. Is this crazy and/or is this anyone else's philosophy?
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Replies

  • trinatrina1984
    trinatrina1984 Posts: 1,018 Member
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    Firstly what is your cal goal? is it too restrictive? what are your stats? age weight height etc?

    I'm losing pretty slowly but that's because I want to be doing this long term and I figure if it takes a year or 2 years to get to where I want to be within that time my mind set will have changed and I will have learnt a lot. so hopefully maintaining will be easier
  • healthysmart
    healthysmart Posts: 15 Member
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    No one can make you lose weight. Only you can control the food entering your mouth. The reality is weight loss comes down to math. Eat less than you burn and you'll lose weight. You can manipulate that to lose weight faster or slower, but it's all up to you.
  • skinnyforhi
    skinnyforhi Posts: 340 Member
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    5'6", 136lbs, 33 years old. I'd like to be somewhere between 124-128. I am set at a calorie goal of 1380 a day, and on days that I spin for 45 minutes or do hot yoga for 60 minutes, I give myself an extra 300 calories (I don't put down 600-700 calories for a spin class or hot yoga class, even though I've read they can burn that much--that just sounds like an overestimate to me). I also take public transportation and walk nearly everwhere, but I don't count that in my exercise.

    trinatrina1984 wrote: »
    Firstly what is your cal goal? is it too restrictive? what are your stats? age weight height etc?

    I'm losing pretty slowly but that's because I want to be doing this long term and I figure if it takes a year or 2 years to get to where I want to be within that time my mind set will have changed and I will have learnt a lot. so hopefully maintaining will be easier

  • trinatrina1984
    trinatrina1984 Posts: 1,018 Member
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    skinnyforhi wrote: »
    5'6", 136lbs, 33 years old. I'd like to be somewhere between 124-128. I am set at a calorie goal of 1380 a day, and on days that I spin for 45 minutes or do hot yoga for 60 minutes, I give myself an extra 300 calories (I don't put down 600-700 calories for a spin class or hot yoga class, even though I've read they can burn that much--that just sounds like an overestimate to me). I also take public transportation and walk nearly everwhere, but I don't count that in my exercise.

    trinatrina1984 wrote: »
    Firstly what is your cal goal? is it too restrictive? what are your stats? age weight height etc?

    I'm losing pretty slowly but that's because I want to be doing this long term and I figure if it takes a year or 2 years to get to where I want to be within that time my mind set will have changed and I will have learnt a lot. so hopefully maintaining will be easier


    What I would do is find your TDEE which is the approx number of calorie your body need to maintain try this http://iifym.com/tdee-calculator/ - then eat under this number but if you chose to eat fairly close to it eg your TDEE is 1900 and you eat 1800 you have to be extremely careful about logging everything. I have my goal set to 1600 as I know my logging can be a bit off so it gives me a little wiggle room.

    You may also want to have a look at what your eating and try and get more veg in to bulk out dinners if you find you are getting hungry.
  • skinnyforhi
    skinnyforhi Posts: 340 Member
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    That is actually extremely helpful-thank you for that! And thank you for not being judgey.

    [/quote]


    What I would do is find your TDEE which is the approx number of calorie your body need to maintain try this http://iifym.com/tdee-calculator/ - then eat under this number but if you chose to eat fairly close to it eg your TDEE is 1900 and you eat 1800 you have to be extremely careful about logging everything. I have my goal set to 1600 as I know my logging can be a bit off so it gives me a little wiggle room.

    You may also want to have a look at what your eating and try and get more veg in to bulk out dinners if you find you are getting hungry. [/quote]

  • Spiderwoman333
    Spiderwoman333 Posts: 4 Member
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    I'm the same way! I have binge days, eat junk food go over my by 100-200 calories some days. If I'm starving I eat even if I have eaten all my calories! As long as you are in deficit you'll loose weight even with a smaller deficit. Personally I find doing it slower is easier. It doesn't feel like I'm "dieting" just slowly making changes that become habit.
  • serindipte
    serindipte Posts: 1,557 Member
    edited November 2014
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    I've been at this since late Jan. I usually have one or two days a week that I eat at or just under my TDEE. As long as my weekly calorie intake is in a deficit, I will lose weight. I'm in no rush, but it's coming off. :) I'm down 49 lbs so far.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,701 Member
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    If you want to lose the weight, you'll do what you need to to do it. That's how motivation works. Tough love is needed when someone is finding excuses NOT to do it. But overall, it has to be something you WANT to do in the first place. If it's not a priority, then results shouldn't be expected.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • Fruitylicious03
    Fruitylicious03 Posts: 301
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    You need do decide what's more important to you. Losing the weight or eating more and gaining.

    You need to make a decision. And then be disciplined enough to follow through on the decision.
  • skinnyforhi
    skinnyforhi Posts: 340 Member
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    Congrats on your progress! That's wonderful.
    serindipte wrote: »
    I've been at this since late Jan. I usually have one or two days a week that I eat at or just under my TDEE. As long as my weekly calorie intake is in a deficit, I will lose weight. I'm in no rush, but it's coming off. :) I'm down 49 lbs so far.

  • skinnyforhi
    skinnyforhi Posts: 340 Member
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    Yes, the slow way means it doesn't feel like a diet after the first few weeks. I do eat smaller portions, I have cut some stuff out, and I am religious about my exercise routine (may go over on calories, but won't skip a workout). But slow doesn't bother me! Good to hear others are making progress this way.

    Spiderwoman333 wrote: »
    I'm the same way! I have binge days, eat junk food go over my by 100-200 calories some days. If I'm starving I eat even if I have eaten all my calories! As long as you are in deficit you'll loose weight even with a smaller deficit. Personally I find doing it slower is easier. It doesn't feel like I'm "dieting" just slowly making changes that become habit.

  • JustSomeEm
    JustSomeEm Posts: 20,222 MFP Moderator
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    I lost my weight with that sort of attitude, and I'm fine. I logged religiously, but didn't particularly care if I was under my calorie goal or not. I DID find that as long as I was logging, I was usually making better choices though... therefore the weight came off. It took me more than 2 years (with a lengthy MFP break) to lose the weight (more than 70 pounds). If I want a chocolate bar, I have one. If I want ice cream or chips I have those. THAT is the only reason I actually managed to stick with a program - because it didn't feel like one (and still doesn't). I've been in maintenance for only a few months, but plan on continuing to log so that I can still successfully hold myself accountable for my dietary choices. :)
  • Dawmelvan
    Dawmelvan Posts: 133 Member
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    I also did what you described and it took me 2 1/2 years to lose 40 pounds. Recently I decided, "I'm done," and am staying within my calorie goal daily and exercising daily. I think the important thing is to enjoy life in a healthy way. I'm happy that it took me that long. I"m also happy that I stepped it up.
  • alexandra0o7
    alexandra0o7 Posts: 2 Member
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    I don't think going over by small amounts is bad at all. If anything, I think it's better for your body. If you're really hungry one day, and it's not out of boredom, your body is telling you it needs something more. I think the amount of calories you're eating might actually be causing the slower progress. When I was first losing weight, it was coming off quickly, when I was eating about 1,500 a day, and eating back whatever I worked off with exercise. However, when I lost more and more weight, it slowed down a lot, and then stopped. I upped my calories to 1,800, and I actually started losing more weight. If you're doing things like spin, your body is torching calories, so it also needs calories to function. If you're eating 1,700 on a day where you burn 600, then you could probably eat a bit more.

    Also, depending on what you put your activity level, greatly offers calorie counts too. I work out about as much as you, but I always pick sedentary, and then add my workouts. This way, it's not telling me to eat an insane amount of calories. Also, of course, focus on what you're eating too. 1,300 of processed foods isn't as good as mostly fresh food.

    Good luck!
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Am sure they have said it, but it sounds fine that you arent too rigid. Learn to use the site properly and create an appropriate deficit. For you that may be .25lb a week. Your counting needs to be accurate as the 125 calories a day amounts to the difference of half a chocolate bar. There is a lot of scope to over or understimate on such small margins.

    What you could do is eat at maintenance or a slight deficit and rely on exercise to burn extra calories, which you cna use towards creating your deficit or to eat back.

    You could also use your calories as a weekly pool as long as they add up to the required deficit by the end of the week. That will allow you to go over some days as long as its balanced by beinh under at other times.

    Sometimes if I dont have the calories its acceptable to me to o to the gym and go and burn the required number so I can indulge/eat what I want. You can burn anything from 300-900 calories per hour depending on effort. Its importnat for the reading to be an accurate reflection if you are basing decisions on it. Personally id rather just get in with it and crack on whilst I have the focus.
  • skinnyforhi
    skinnyforhi Posts: 340 Member
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    alexandra0o7 wrote: »
    I don't think going over by small amounts is bad at all. If anything, I think it's better for your body. If you're really hungry one day, and it's not out of boredom, your body is telling you it needs something more. I think the amount of calories you're eating might actually be causing the slower progress. When I was first losing weight, it was coming off quickly, when I was eating about 1,500 a day, and eating back whatever I worked off with exercise. However, when I lost more and more weight, it slowed down a lot, and then stopped. I upped my calories to 1,800, and I actually started losing more weight. If you're doing things like spin, your body is torching calories, so it also needs calories to function. If you're eating 1,700 on a day where you burn 600, then you could probably eat a bit more.

    Also, depending on what you put your activity level, greatly offers calorie counts too. I work out about as much as you, but I always pick sedentary, and then add my workouts. This way, it's not telling me to eat an insane amount of calories. Also, of course, focus on what you're eating too. 1,300 of processed foods isn't as good as mostly fresh food.

    Good luck!

    That's interesting about the calorie theory! I wonder if I am underestimating what I burn at spin. Perhaps I'll give it another 2 weeks and if the scale doesn't start moving, I'll regularly increase by about 100 calories. I too list myself as sedentary because I have a desk job, but I do walk everywhere and I don't tend to sit around outside of work. And I give it my all at my workouts--I don't phone it in.

  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    If your average intake is a deficit you will lose weight. I don't think you need tough love, you just need to have a plan. Since you don't have much to lose and are not in a rush you can set your targets for that. Good luck!
  • trinatrina1984
    trinatrina1984 Posts: 1,018 Member
    Options
    skinnyforhi wrote: »
    That is actually extremely helpful-thank you for that! And thank you for not being judgey.


    What I would do is find your TDEE which is the approx number of calorie your body need to maintain try this http://iifym.com/tdee-calculator/ - then eat under this number but if you chose to eat fairly close to it eg your TDEE is 1900 and you eat 1800 you have to be extremely careful about logging everything. I have my goal set to 1600 as I know my logging can be a bit off so it gives me a little wiggle room.

    You may also want to have a look at what your eating and try and get more veg in to bulk out dinners if you find you are getting hungry. [/quote]

    [/quote]

    Haha no worries :)

  • LiminalAscendance
    LiminalAscendance Posts: 489 Member
    edited November 2014
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    skinnyforhi wrote: »
    Hi guys,

    I think I know the answer to this, but here goes. I gained 10 lbs over the past 6 months, mostly over the past 2 months when I ate whatever I wanted and didn't exercise. At. All. I'm now trying to lose those 10lbs by exercising a minimum of 4 days a week (at fairly intense levels, like spin and hot yoga) and eating healthy. I don't feel like staying within my calorie goal (whine) and I really don't care if 10lbs comes off in 2 months or 6 months (hey, it's gonna be winter anyway). Anyone have experience losing weight painfully slow? On purpose? I just don't feel like being quite as rigid as I have been in the past, especially with the holidays coming up. I don't plan to binge, but if I want a treat, in my view a few bites won't kill me as long as I don't let it spiral or do that every day. If I'm over 100-200 calories 2-3 days a week, so be it. Is this crazy and/or is this anyone else's philosophy?

    Trust me, you're not alone.

    There are plenty of fat people who enjoy food more than they value aesthetics or comfort.
  • KylaDenay
    KylaDenay Posts: 1,585 Member
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    To me it doesn't seem like you are ready to lose the 10 lbs. If you really wanted it you would stick to your goal daily. Not doing so means you really don't care. You have to really want it. Suck it up and do what you have to do. Eat at .5 lb a week deficit. That surely cannot be that difficult. Even if you want more calories, get up and workout for them.

    Its all in your head and what you really want.

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